Hey everyone. I'm back with another one-shot. This one-shot has more of a purpose then all my others. Some of you may already know this but for those who don't today, September 10, 2012 is Suicide Awareness Day. That's where this story idea came from. I hope everyone likes it.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Chris Paolini (is that how you spell his last name?)
Warning: This story contains physical and mental abuse, cutting, and attempted suicide.
Getting There in Time
Eragon
I'm not sure exactly how long it's been going on, but I can still remember the day I found out. I should have realized it long before then. There were signs everywhere. The way he always wore long sleeves and pants. How he would freak if someone touched him without his permission. He would miss school for days at a time. Why hadn't I noticed? He's my brother, even if we have different dads. It's my job to notice these kinds of things.
But I didn't for quite a while and even then it wasn't even me who noticed. I still remember that day pretty well. I was sitting at my usual table in school with Saphira, Thorn, Arya, and Nasuada. Murtagh was supposed to be there but had skipped out. He'd been doing that a lot recently so I didn't think much of it until Nasuada asked, "Do you guys think Murtagh is okay?"
I was going to ask why he wouldn't be when Thorn replied with "I've been wondering the same thing for a while."
"Wondering what?" Saphira asked, looking at her boyfriend. I was glad I wasn't the only one to not notice anything, besides the fact that he's been skipping lunch a lot recently.
Thorn just shrugged "He's been skipping lunch a lot and always wearing long sleeves."
"He also hasn't said a thing against Galbatorix King for almost two months now. He just takes his crap." Nasuada said. "He always used to get in Galbatorix's face if he pissed him off. Now he just lets Galbatorix bully him."
"He also never goes anywhere after school." Arya reminded us. "He used to do anything to get out of the house. Now he never goes anywhere."
"He doesn't even answer when we call or text him." Thorn said, picking at his food.
"Have you noticed anything Eragon?" Nasuada asked me.
"Not really." I told her.
"Nothing Eragon? He's your brother. Shouldn't you be the one bringing this up?" Nasuada replied, glaring at me.
"Let it go Nas. They might be brothers but they don't live together. He doesn't get any more information than us." Thorn told her.
But she was right. It didn't matter that we don't live together. We're still close. I should have noticed. I should have been the first to notice. I wasn't but I am going to be the first to confront him about this. "Let's find him."
They all looked at me. "Right now" Saphira asked.
"Yeah. You all just said that he goes home right after school and doesn't answer his texts or calls. We still have twenty minutes left until lunch is over. Let's go."
Thorn nodded. "Okay. The three of us will go." He said nodding to me, Nasuada, and himself.
"What about us?" Saphira asked.
"He likes both of you but doesn't trust you as much as he does us. We'll be more likely to get information from him if he trusts everyone there full heartedly." Nasuada told them, standing up.
Saphira looked like she was going to protest but Arya interrupted her before she got the chance. "She's right Saphira. We'll see you guys later?"
"Yup." Thorn said, kissing Saphira. I nodded to them both and then we headed off down the hall. We checked the bathrooms first. When he wasn't in there we checked under the staircases. We eventually found him curled into a ball with his head in between his knees.
"Tag?" I asked.
His head flew up and his eyes connected with mine, surprise written in them. He clearly hadn't heard us approach. "Eragon? What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here?" I asked him. "You're supposed to be at lunch with us."
He shrugged. "I wasn't hungry."
Nasuada sighed and Murtagh jumped again, clearly not even having noticed Nasuada or Thorn's presence. "You're never hungry Murtagh." She told him.
He shrugged again. "Maybe I just eat a lot in the morning."
"Yesterday you admitted to never eating in the morning."
"Busted." Thorn whispered, which earned him a slap in the arm from Nasuada and a glare from Murtagh.
"It doesn't matter. Just let it go." He said, standing up.
"We're worried Murtagh." I told him, using my best pleading look.
"I'm fine Eragon."
"You're clearly not Murtagh." Nasuada stated.
"She's right Murtagh." Thorn said.
"I am. Get over it." He said, starting to walk away from us.
"Then take off your sleeves" I whispered, but everyone heard me and stared at me in surprise. I don't like having Murtagh mad at me. He has a nasty temper. But I'd rather him be mad at me and know what was happening then have us be fine and not know what was going on.
"You heard the kid." Thorn said. "Take off your sleeves."
"And if I say no?" Tag whispered.
"Then we'll assume you're not okay." Nasuada told him.
He sighed and took off his hoodie. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt so his arms were clearly in view. I wanted to throw up. He had about eight even cuts going up his right arm and about six on his left. They weren't gross, but just the fact that they were on Tag's arms is what made my stomach queasy. This is my rock hard brother. My brother who could stand up to anything or anyone. Or at least I thought he could, but clearly somewhere along the way he got sick of it all and stopped fighting. The cuts on his arms proved that.
"Tag." I said.
"I don't want to talk about it." He told us, slipping his hoodie back on.
"Yeah, because I'm actually going to listen to that." Nasuada informed him.
"Then plug up your ears." He growled at her.
"Is it your dad?" I asked him. They all looked at me in surprise. I seem to be surprising them a lot lately.
"Does it matter?"
"Yes." Thorn told him
"So what if it is dad? What are you going to do about it?"
"We can't do anything but help you through it. But you have to let us." Thorn pleaded with him.
"I saw the bruise on your leg last week." Nasuada told him. Now she was the one surprising everyone. "Does he beat you?"
There are certain things that are so impossible to believe that once people say it you don't believe them. This is one of those moments for me. I had meet Murtagh's dad, Morzan, once before. The idea of him beating Murtagh isn't that surprising. The reason mom left him is because he was abusive. But the idea of Murtagh just letting it happen without fighting back is unthinkable. Maybe it's like Galbatorix. Maybe he used to fight but got sick of it. I hate thinking of Murtagh as weak. But if he can take this, maybe he's the strongest of us all.
"I don't want to talk about this." He said, before walking out the door.
That was about six months ago. After he left Nasuada ran after him. After working with him for a few days, we'd finally gotten the truth out of him. His dad has been beating him and he's been cutting and not eating. I asked mom why he didn't live with us and she said she took Morzan to court to win custody of him but Morzan had some big lawyer friend and got Morzan custody of Murtagh. We've been working with Murtagh since we found out and he's made a lot of progress. He hasn't cut himself in two months and we've been slowly getting him back into a normal eating pattern. I though he was getting better. But he hasn't been in school for three days and he hasn't answered our texts or calls. We're all really worried. I'm really worried.
Murtagh
The last three days have been hell. I made a simple mistake. I forgot to pick up his beer. Seems like something small right? Dad didn't think so. I've spent the last three days hand cuffed to my bed post, without any food, getting beatings whenever he feels like it. He finally let me go and said I could go to school tomorrow. I don't think I even want to see tomorrow. I appreciate all that Eragon, Thorn, and Nasuada have been trying to do for me, but I don't see the point if I have to live with this. I've heard people talk about how their lives are hell. How bad their friends and family are. But they can't even begin to understand what hell is like. This is hell and I simply can't keep living with this.
Eragon
When he came into school on Friday, I literally wanted to burst into tears. Call me sentimental or whatever but I was worried the worst had happened. I didn't cry though. Murtagh wouldn't like that. He hates when people show sympathy for him.
He was at his locker. I walked over to him and said "Hey Tag."
"Oh, hey Eragon." He said, putting things into his locker.
"How are you?" I asked, trying to be casual.
"Fine. Why?" He was trying to act like nothing had happened. Like he'd been in school the last three days and we hadn't been worrying ourselves over him.
I was trying to think of a gentle way to ask him where'd he'd been the last few days when Nasuada beat me too it. "Cut the crap Murtagh. Where have you been?"
"At home. I wasn't feeling well."
"You're a terrible liar Murtagh." Said Thorn, coming up from behind, "and if you're lying it probably wasn't good."
"Just let it go alright? It's over and done." We let it go. Murtagh's clearly already stressed out. We don't want to upset him anymore. We'll bug him more later but for now we let it go.
The day goes on as usual. I only see Murtagh at lunch and he does eat, even if it is less than usual. He doesn't talk much though. I don't see him before going home. Thorn said he went home early because he punched Galbatorix King in the face. I tried calling him when I got home but he didn't answer. I was so confused.
Murtagh
When I got home I remembered that dad was going to be working the rest of the day and night so he wouldn't be home again tonight. That thought brought me relief. I'd never have to see him again. I took a knife from the drawer and went into the bathroom. I closed the door behind me. I didn't bother to lock it since no one else was in the house. I filled up the bathtub with warm water. Then I texted Eragon, telling him I was sorry that he wasted his time with me, but he wouldn't have to ever again.
I had gotten into a fight with Galbatorix King today. I had punched him in the face, because I knew I'd never get the chance to again. It had felt good, but his words still cut into my head. Unwanted. I took the knife against my arm and started to cut the u into it. I hadn't cut in almost two months. Part of me was happy to have the pain back and part of me was ashamed that I had just wasted all of Eragon, Thorn, and Nasuada's time. But I kept going, cutting the n into my skin. I choose to not think about it and just cut w, cut a, cut n, cut t, cut e, cut d. The word unwanted now bleeds from my ear. I didn't even try to stop the bleeding. My goal was to bleed to death. There was no point in stopping it. Unloved. That was the other word Galbatorix had used to describe me. And he was right. So I cut that into my other arm. With my arms covered with the two words that describe me I stepped into the water fully clothed and lay down. It didn't take long for the water to turn blood red. But I hadn't even felt like passing out or any other side affects you get when you lose too much blood. So I just started slashing my wrists. It seems a little barbaric but I just wanted it to end. Eventually I felt myself start to lose consciousness and everything goes black.
Eragon
I heard my phone beep, telling me I had a text. I jumped out of bed and grabbed it, hoping to see something from Murtagh. It was from him. I smiled and opened the text, the smile soon melting off my face. It was short. He apologized about me wasting my time on him and promised me I'd never have to do it again. Fear gripped my gut. I called Thorn.
"Hello?" He answered.
"Thorn? It's Eragon."
"I'm aware. I have caller ID. What's up?"
"Have you talked to Tag since school today?"
"No. Why?"
"He just texted me. He said he was sorry for making me waste my time on him and that it will never happen again."
There was silence and then Thorn's voice crackled through the phone. "I'm going to go get Nasuada and then we'll pick you up. Be ready in five minutes." Then he hung up.
I ran around, grabbed my shoes and jacket. I put them on then went outside and locked the door. Mom and dad weren't home so I had to make sure it was secure. A few minutes later Thorn pulled in. I got in the car to find Thorn and Nasuada sitting up. They didn't ask any questions. We just sat in silence until we pulled into Murtagh's drive way. Luckily we all lived fairly close together. We ran up to the front door. It was unlocked. Then we ran inside.
"Tag?" I yelled. "Murtagh?"
Thorn came out of Murtagh's room. "Not in there." He informed us. Then I heard Nasuada scream. I ran to her, she was in the bathroom, looked inside, and almost screamed myself.
There was Murtagh, my older brother who has always been my remodel, lying in a bathtub with blood red water filling it, his arms slashed up, completely pale. Nasuada and I just stared at him in shock. It was Thorn that got us back in gear. "Okay. Eragon, help me with Murtagh. Nasuada, you call 911."
"No." Nasuada said. "Eragon is terrible with blood. I'll help you. Go make the call Eragon."
I was too numb to even respond. I just took out my phone and dialed 911. The rest of the night was a blur. I remember Thorn and Nasuada getting Murtagh out of the bathtub and wrapping up his bleeding arms. I remember watching the red water swirling down the drain. I remember watching the ambulance take Murtagh away and driving after them in Thorn's car. I remember calling mom and telling her what had happened and the way she had come into the hospital bawling her eyes out. The thing I remember the most though is the relief that flowed through me when the doctors announced he would live.
Two days later I was sitting next to his bed by myself when he finally woke up.
"Eragon?" he asked.
"Yeah." I whispered.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Watching over you stupid."
He looked confused. "Why am I here?"
"I don't know. Why don't you tell me?" I said, tapping his wrist. Maybe this wasn't the best time to be interrogating him but I wanted to know why he would try and kill himself.
Realization flashed across his face as he realized when he was. Then he just shrugged. "I don't know. I was just sick of being people's punching bag."
I sighed. "Well if it makes you feel any better mom's going into another custody battle for you with dad. She'll win this time."
"Yeah. I guess that is better." He paused for a second then said, "Eragon?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
It wasn't a guarantee of anything but there was something about the way he said it that brought me hope. I smiled and said, "Your welcome."
A Year later:
A year later, everything was great. Mom had won the custody battle. Morzan had been arrested for child abuse. Murtagh, Nasuada, and Thorn had all graduated. Murtagh even kicked Galbatorix King's butt. He was now living in an apartment with Nasuada. They had started dating not too long after his suicide attempt.
The date is September 10, 2012. It's Suicide Awareness Day all over the world. I had been walking around school with love written on my wrist. It might seem stupid to some people but to me it stands for things like hope. I had hope for Murtagh and he's turned out great. Life's good for us. So I want to show support for people all over the world with issues. Murtagh made it through and so can others.
This story is dedicated to kids who have tried to kill themselves or have killed themselves because of things like abuse, bullying, or other reasons. It's to show my support. Anyone ever hear the song Bully by Shinedown. It was all I listened to while writing this. I hope you liked it. Please review.