Hi there. Well what can i say i am more or less obsessed with Twilight now haha. I've written this for fun and because i cant get it out of my head. im not much of a writer, i do love to read Leah Fanfics lol thank you guys for giving this a chance and i hope you like it and PLEASE REVIEW, no flames please, there is such a thing as a back button so simply click on it and dont hurt my feelings.

Disclaimer: I dont own any of the characters from Twilight.

The First night.

I stormed into my room, tears blinding my sight, stumbled against a chair and fell onto my bed. My mind was on overdrive yet it seem to slow down when ever I would remember his face, when he read his vows; the way he looked at her when he slid the ring on her finger and the way he kissed her when they were announced as husband and wife.

Angrily, I sat up, ripped the zipper from the side of my silk dress. Tossed my shoes violently against the wall pulled on an old t-shirt and sank into my bed hugging a pillow to stop my tremors. Thinking I would implode I bit down with fury into the pillow and screamed. My eyes shut tightly so much my eyes hurt.

I had to scream.

Scream to vent the anger and frustration I felt at that very moment. Hell I felt like this every waking day. Every second, minute, hour, day, week, month that passed by it felt like my insides would explode from the intolerable pain I felt, so I screamed louder.

Every time I closed my eyes, there he was. His face forever carved to the back of my eyelids. His perfect features seem to dance and taunt me in my sleep. Every night I would dream of him and how we used to be. How he used to cuddle with me during the winters, or how he used to kiss me whenever we would fight so we'd stop. He would wrap an arm around me and pull me close as if I would run away from him whenever he'd let his guard down. I dreamed of how we used to go down to the beach during the summers and we'd just sit on a tree trunk and let the salty air infuse the ambient while we watched the waves come and go and families play in the sand.

Stop it.

Stop it.

STOP IT!

I let out a loud grunt and wiped my face, my make up staining my cheeks. I deliberately got up and walked towards the closet. I knew what I was looking for and moved all the boxes from the floor till I found the one I was wanted.

There in an old white box laid my wedding dress. The wedding dress I would never be able to wear. The wedding dress I had envision myself in when I'd marry Sam. The beautiful wedding dress my dad had spend a quarter of his savings to buy me- another quarter went to the wedding itself.

I hugged the dress tightly to my chest and shed more tears. Opening my eyes I saw at the bottom of the box all the invitations with the names and addresses of the guests. The guest book and what would be our wedding album. Seeing all this stung. It felt as if I a million needles punctured my heart over and over. It felt a if I had been crushed my a train. Don't be stupid Leah, you rather feel the pain of a crushing train than feel this. I thought to myself, and I was right. I rather take any kind of physical pain than feel this emptiness.

Man I must have been the worst kind of person in my past lives. Killed a couple hounded people maybe? Maybe I cause famine or hunger. Maybe it inflicted this sort of pain on others and now I'm paying for it? Maybe I was Hitler?

Nope, you if you had been such a person you would have been born a cockroach. The voice in my head said. Ugh.

I was getting so tired of this. I was tired of listening to people pity me and look at me as the poor Leah Clearwater- the one who got dumped for her cousin a week before her wedding. The one that now goes through life being a bitch just as a mechanism of self preservation because I'd be damned if I let someone else hurt me like that ever.

So I picked up all the stuff threw it back into the box and walked downstairs. In the kitchen I opened a drawer where I knew the lighters would be. Grabbed the lighter fluid my dad used to barbecue with and almost ran to the backyard.

I walked about a hundred yards away from the house, emptied out the lighter fluid on the box n lit it.

The flames danced around illuminating the our back yard. The warmth was welcomed by my body after all it was the middle of December and even though my body kept warmer than other I still fell the cold.

"Looks like somebody's having fun" a masculine voice called not too far away from me.

"Tons" I replied with much enthusiasm wiping my face almost instantly "Now go away" I said not bothering to look at him. His steps got closer.

"You can cut the crap Lee, I know you're hurting, it only normal. You don't have to keep up the pretences for me. Believe me when I say that I know what you're going through" he said in a low voice standing next to me. His face staring intently at the bright orange flames.

"He never had a chance you know-" I looked up at him; his eyes meeting mine "- to look at the invitations or anything related to our wedding" I said my voice breaking "he never had the chance to look at me in the dress. When it first happen, some times I would think that if he saw me in the dress maybe he would have changed his mind. Then this whole wolf thing happen and I understood why he left, but there was always a little piece of me that thought just maybe if we had gone through with the wedding he would have fought for me, for us" the last part was merely a whisper but I knew he'd heard me.

"When it first happen to me, at times I would think that maybe if he hadn't come back, maybe I could have been with her now" he admitted looking at me for an instance before his eyes focused once more on the engulfing flames.

"You know what Jake, we are two fucked up people" he let out a loud laugh and looked over at me with a smile on his face. He looked young again. He was one of the many kids in La Push that were robbed from their youth- myself included. Sometimes he's smile like this and the old Jacob would resurface after all these years.

"You don't think so?" I asked smirking.

"Oh, I know so" he said laughing once more.

"So how was the reception?" I asked as I started walking back into the house yawning. He followed me closely and shut the door behind me.

"Sickening. I swear if I see another couple kiss or ogle at each other I'm gonna barf" he said following me upstairs. Once I reached my bed I sat feeling how tired I was. He sat next to me. He grabbed my hand asked "Are you sure you're going to be okay Leah? You know I'm here for whatever you need. I mean you ask I'll do. Anything really." He stated looking into my eyes.

"So does this mean you're forfeiting your Alfa title to me and I get to boss you around like a pet dog" I couldn't help myself and laughed internally.

He grinned and chuckled "If that'll make you happy, yes, yes I would" he said mockingly before pulling me in for a hug.

At first it felt strange. To have another body so close to mine. To feel the skin of someone else on mine felt so off yet so gratifying for some odd reason. He smelled differently that I was used to. He finally cleaned up. The voice in head said and I smiled. God knows Jacob doesn't like to be all clean or dressed. That last part made my stomach do summersault.

"Jake?" I mumbled against his chest.

"Hmm?"

"Will you stay, tonight I mean…" I asked not leaving our embrace. I was far too comfortable in his arms. And I found it wrong, yet so inviting that I could resist.

That was the first night Jacob stayed the night. We'd slept snuggled under the covers while the rain pounded on my window, he had pulled me close to him, my back against his chest. His arms tightly wrapped around my waist and his face buried in the crock of my neck. He slept soundly his breath even on my neck. I felt asleep that night for the first night in a long time with no worries or stress. I was comfortably in a blissful state, state that I know would come tumbling down the next morning, but I wanted this now. And I felt happy again.

there you have it folks. after almost a year of not writing at all i managed to write this in less than an hour and in class lol.

anyway i hope you guys like it, PLEASE REVIEW... any ideas are welcomed.

Thank you so much for reading.

have a fantastic day...now off to my next class lol.