Hello Everyone. This is my first fanfic, so please review and tell me how I did. I gratefully accept constructive criticism, anything helps. Also, I don't own anything.
I've always hoped that someday the nightmares would go away. But they won't. I know they will continue to haunt me. Maybe it's for the best, remembering the events that tried to completely deteriorate my physical and mental health. Maybe it will make me stronger.
In my dream, I'm standing in an endless white space. I see that furry, deformed cat. Buttercup. As much as I hate him, he's kind of comforting in this lonely space. He perks his head up, alarmed from a sound I didn't hear. He starts to head forward, and I follow him. We continue our journey for what seems like years, and I don't think he's even noticed me. But now, I see something. He's leading to a blurry figure a far way out. As we get closer, I see it's a person. A beautiful little girl. Prim.
The cat disappears and I run to my younger sister, overflowing with joy. I almost tackle her with my hug. She hugs me back, but her face lacks any showing of happiness. She looks worried, as if she's in danger. She tells me to back away, and I reluctantly do as she asked. When I release her, she ignites. The flames are devouring her quickly and all I can do is watch. My body is frozen. I'm trying to scream, but I can't. Nothing is coming out. Now that Prim is reduced to a pile of ash, my body has allowed me to drop to my knees.
I've lost her. There's nothing I could do. But as I stare at the ash, it starts to move. The movement increases, but then stops suddenly. I get back on foot, about to turn and run, when a bird pushes out of the pile and begins to take off. A small white bird tinged with pink. It's my sister again. She asks me to come with her, but I'm frozen again. Not even the tiniest screech of my voice can escape. She eventually gives up on me and flies away. Now I'm lonely again; no sister, not even the cat. I cry, because it's all I can do now. I guess I was crying in reality, because this is when Peeta wakes me.
"Are you okay, Katniss?" he asks, holding my arm while lying next to me. "This one seemed bad."
He would know about my nightmares, because he has them too, almost every night. He's been through everything I have, from the first Hunger Games to the assassination of who was supposed to be President Snow. He's probably taken more damage than I have; the tortures, interrogations. Worst of all, the hijacking, when you are injected with the venom of a tracker jacker. To brainwash you, to make you twist a good thought or person into something evil. He unfortunately received this treatment after being captured by the no longer existing Capitol.
"I'm fine," I say, "I just need to talk to my mother."
I throw on a robe and groggily head down the stairs in my house, still in the Victor's Village. I find myself in the living room. On the wall across from me is the phone, which is what I'll need to talk with my mother, since she has been working at a hospital in District Four. I miss her dearly, but I know she's out there helping, saving lives, healing the people of Panem. And with the phone, I can talk to her daily, if she's not working on a patient.
I dial the number that will call my mother. It rings a few times, but she answers soon.
"Hello?" she asks.
"Mom" I say, relieved that she picked up.
"Katniss." She sounds relieved too. "I'm sorry I haven't able to answer the last few days. It's been sort of busy, here. Is there something wrong?"
I sigh. "No. I just dreamed about Prim again. I couldn't help her." I think I'm starting to cry again.
"Oh Katniss, I'm sorry." Her voice has taken a very empathetic tone now. "I know it's hard. But you need to remember that it wasn't real."
"But it was real. I watched her die right in front of me—"
"You were dying too Katniss. There was nothing you could do. There was nothing either of us could do—"
"You could have made her stay!" I yell. I don't know where that came from. I don't even know why I'm angry. I shouldn't be. My mother was right. Prim would have gone to save those children, regardless of my mother's opinion.
I'm lucky she hasn't ended the conversation. She just sighs and continues.
"I know, Katniss. It will be painful for a long time. But we can get through it together. Everything is over now. You won't have to lose anyone else. And at least her death wasn't in vain. She died trying to save the lives of people she's never even seen before."
She's right again. What a strong little girl Prim was. Her bravery was a quality I wish I had. She put herself in the middle of war. Valuing others' lives over her own. I've only risked my life for people I care for.
My mother hasn't said much, but it has seemed to help some.
"Thank you," I say, wiping a tear that never fell from my eye, "but I have to go now. I have a busy day." And I do. Hunting, planting more primrose. And later, the new mayor, Timpetra Flipvine, will be making a speech in the square, about how quickly we've been rebuilding District Twelve.
Although the Capitol's attack was only a few months ago, the remaining citizens who have migrated back from thirteen have done an extraordinary job fixing our home. There are piles of rubble or ash here and there, but many businesses are back open, selling and trading.
"Okay, Katniss", she says. "It was nice talking to you. I love you."
"I love you too. Bye", I say, and I hang up the phone.
I need to change out of this velvety robe, into something more suitable for hunting. The woods got destroyed by the Capitol's attack about a year ago. But as the citizens of Twelve rebuilt the city, they restored the woods and it didn't take long for it to acquire some game. The problem is, I haven't hunted for the entire time I've been back in District Twelve. I figure I should practice now, get myself in shape, so I find my way up the stairs as quietly as possible. I am practically air on my way to my room, except for making a small creak on one of the higher stairs. Other than that, my performance is flawless. I walk forward to my bedroom door and open it. I see Peeta, still lying in my bed, but now he's reading.
The book. Filled, with names and photos or sketches. Filled with the wonderful remembrances I had with those people. He looks over to me and sits up, moving over to the edge of the bed. He then closes the book and hands it to me. I take the book, but I just set it down on the dresser next to me. I don't feel like reading it; it will cause too many unhappy distractions while I'm out hunting later. Distractions will only make me noisier, and scare off game. Or I'll be too busy thinking about that book as a deer or turkey passes right by me.
"We really did an excellent job on that", he says.
"I agree. I have to change my clothes," I say, changing the subject. "I'm going to hunt."
"Okay, that's fine with me," he responds.
About ten seconds pass by, but he doesn't move.
"So leave," I finally say. This makes him smile.
"Why? Do I make you uncomfortable?"
I smile back at him, surprised at his response.
"Just go," I say.
He laughs and walks out the door.
I remove my gown and put on a brown shirt under a thin, black jacket and some brown trousers. I walk to the other side of my room to reach my hunting boots and my game bag next to them. Then I slide the boots onto my feet, grab the game bag, and throw it over my shoulder. I leave my room, go down the stairs, and walk out the door to see Peeta already starting to plant the primrose. I thank him and walk off to the forest.
I had heard that the electric fence had been taken down a few days ago, but I didn't believe it until I was towards the end of the Meadow and saw it myself. The sight brought on a smile, but the thought of the "new" woods made my heart drop. I'm almost there, and when I reach the end of the city, the beginning of the woods, I stop. All I can do is think about what I'm about to walk into. It won't be the same. The woods I know and love are gone. And then I think of Gale. My best friend, and all of my memories with him. I won't be able to find them, not in here, not anymore. I don't even have him with me. He's back in District Two.
I continue forward into the unfamiliar woods about five yards, but I've changed my mind. I can hunt another day.
I go back to the house, admiring the primrose Peeta planted before I walk in. They truly are beautiful little flowers. Like my sister named after them. I finally go inside. As pretty as the flowers are, they can be a little distressing. When I'm in my house, I head back to my room to take off my boots and set down my game bag. As I'm about to leave, I notice that the book is not on the dresser anymore. It has been replaced by a note from Peeta.
"I'm already at the square. See you there."
How did I do? If it was any good, please tell me and I'll continue with Chapter Two.