This is pretty much unedited. I wrote this very quickly with a very simple idea and concept.
I still remember the promises you made…
You made promises and didn't keep them. I want to blame you, I should blame you, but I don't.
Even now, as I lay on my deathbed, I don't blame you. I'll never blame you.
I love you.
Matthew cursed under his breath as he ducked into an alley, a scowl on his face. He could hear the men yell as they continued to follow him and search everywhere he may be hiding. He felt breathless, he'd been running for a long time and could barely catch the air he needed to breath.
"Mattie! Back here!"
The blonde was startled by the harsh whispering, but turned to look where it came from despite that. He sighed in relief; it was Gilbert.
"You asshole," he spat, even as a smile broadened on his face. How could it not? Gil's face was enough to fill Matthew's whole life with eternal happiness. "Why'd you send me to meet those guys alone? You said you'd be there with the money."
"I knew you'd cover me." The albino man grinned from his hiding place behind a few trash cans. "Get your skinny ass down here. If they find us than we're both screwed."
"Gil, that's not a very good hiding spot. We should-"
"There they are!"
Gilbert and Mattie both cursed under their breaths and prepared for the worst.
You knew I was weak, easily manipulated, and often frightened.
I'm not sure if you took advantage of that or if you actually cared about me and thought you could protect me.
My world used to move so slow…
When you came around I forced myself to speed up - I had to. I needed to catch up with you.
My life depended on it.
You were like a drug to me. You still are.
I'll never have enough of you.
"Mattie!"
He could hear Gilbert's voice, but by now his eye was to swelled to see. Tears streaked down his cheeks and the poor boy could hear his father's voice in the background.
"He's danger Matthew. Stay away from him, do you hear me?"
Of course he'd been right.
"Let go!" Matthew could still hear Gilbert fighting them, even as the pounding headache destroyed his brain and the constant ringing swallowed his thoughts. Were they still hitting him? His whole body felt numb.
The numbness only got worse and worse. The pain was gone, like it never existed, and Matthew just wanted to succumb to this dark world of nothingness. Surely staying here would be better than going back to reality? Yes, it had to be.
With you, I stopped believing in Heaven. There was only Hell, and I was a slave to it's fiery clutches.
I loved it because you loved it.
It's just that simple.
Anything had to be better.
In the end, you're the one who killed me.
I was in love with my murderer.
I still am.
I'll never know if you loved me too Gilbert, because you sent me to Hell.