To the Empty Man
If a man has gone passed the point of no return, if he has gone to that dark abyss that is hell, can he be worthy of love? Is he lovable at all? If a man has turned away all grievances, all love and hope, all kindness from his heart and soul, to keep from hurting, mourning the loss of someone, is he able to be healed and returned from the walkway of the Grimm Reaper?
I knew a man once, his name, to me, wasn't important. Nor was the charming way he would smile and make his green eyes sparkle with gold, the deep throaty voice that consumed me. It was the loneliness behind the green and gold of his eyes, the hurt and pain in his voice when he talked to me late at night, the way his grip on me when we parted way always seemed more, desperate, yearning to make sure I'd be there when he returned.
That was what made me decide to be his savior in the dark, cold heart he had created for himself. I knew I had to save him from himself. But how could I save someone, how didn't realize they needed saving? That saw themselves alive, when he was merely surviving? He was slowly dying inside and couldn't even see it. Couldn't see that he was killing himself by protecting his heart from, humanity, from being the man I knew he could be, if only he tried to pull out of the oblivion of pain that he was building up.
He always seems to remind me of a movie I once saw. It was about a family who was one of those that always fought and was the talk of the town. Abusive father, a mother that wouldn't stand up to him, and kids that suffer from both of them, with an older sibling that tries to hide the younger ones so they don't see. One day, their youngest child, an 8 year old boy, came up missing. They told the police who returned later with the boy's jacket, covered in blood and brutally torn. The family broke down after that, but the boy's death ended up bringing them closer together as a family. After almost 2 years, the boy was found well and alive, states away, hiding. He didn't want to be found and brought back to his family where he'd suffer in wallow in misery.
He doesn't seem to know, or at least doesn't acknowledge, that I've deemed myself his savior. And I'll do whatever it takes, to bring him out of that darkness, where he believes he has to be always tough and not let his emotions show, so that I can see him truly smile for me. So I can see a full man, and not an empty one.