Title : The Nearness of Her

Author : Dùlin

Pairing : Yohji/Asuka Itou, mentioned past Yohji/Aya

Rating : PG-13

Warnings : Side B, spoiler for Glühen, angst, Yohji POV. Companion piece and prequel to both The Nearness of You and The Nearness of Us, but can be read independently. Expands on the katana scene in Side B volume 3.

Disclaimer : Weiss Kreuz belongs to the lovely Takehito Koyasu and Project Weiss. Who are not me. Alas.

O.O.O.O

"Ouch !"

"Asuka ?" I call from the living-room. "You okay ?"

"I'm fine !" she answers, but I can hear her swearing under her breath. Believe me when I say it takes a lot to make my Asuka swear. More patience than an angel. God knows she needs it with me.

I drop my book on the coffee table and hurry to the kitchen, suddenly worried. She's trying to turn the stove off left-handed and holding her right hand against her chest, as far away from the burner as she can. Which is kinda difficult given how cramped out kitchen is.

"Asuka ?" She jumps away from the stove with a startled yelp, and I just have the time to catch her before she bumps into the fridge. "What's going on ?"

"Nothing ! I just … I burnt my hand with the frying pan, and … Yohji, that's not funny !" she snaps when she sees that I'm now grinning from ear to ear.

I don't know why I'm always so afraid that something might happen to her. It's not like I actually have a clear idea of what exactly could happen … I mean, I know her job is not risk-free, but she's still just a nurse in a coma ward, and the patients there aren't really up to being violent, with the being in a coma and all. I still don't remember anything of my previous life. I've had a few flashes, mostly connected to the things that were found with me, but nothing more precise than that. If I still had any living relatives, they would have come to get me back already, or at least I hope so. And while my day to day life is certainly eventful, there's nothing ominous about it.

I just know that I don't want to lose her. I think she understands, too. She is the only stable element in my life, after all.

I put my arms around her and kiss her cheek to apologize.

"Of course it's not funny, babe. I'm sorry," I say, leading her towards the sink. "Let's put your hand under some cold water, now. You should have done it right away, anyway. You're a nurse, Asuka, right ? You're supposed to know stuff like that !"

"Oh, you … !" she groans, half-laughing already when she realizes that I was smiling out of relief. Still, she knows me enough not to call me on it. It's just one of those little things she's learning to live with, just like I'm learning to get over what I know is an irrational fear.

She winces a bit when the cold water hits her overheated skin, but instantly retaliates by spraying me with icy droplets with her left hand. Give it a few more minutes, and we're both wetter than we should be and laughing like there's no tomorrow.

The doorbell makes us both jump. I glance at the calendar on the fridge while Asuka checks the date on her watch.

"We're not expecting anyone, are we ?" she asks.

"Not that I know of. I'll get it. You just stay here and keep …"

"My hand under the water, yes, I know. I'm a nurse. I'm supposed to know stuff like that," she teases. "Uh, Yohji …"

"Yeah ?"

"If you want to eat something tonight, you might want to turn the stove off. Since, you know, I can't do it right now …"

I turn off the gas and check that what's in the pan is still edible. The doorbell rings again, more insistent.

"Coming !" I yell, hastily running my hands through my hair to make myself a bit more presentable.

When I open the door, I almost immediately take a step back. The guy is standing closer than what I expected him to. He's a bit shorter than me, wearing sport clothes and a baseball cap. There's something weird in the way he holds himself, with his hands away from his body as if to show he's unarmed. He meets my eyes without hesitation, but he's gritting his teeth so hard that it's a wonder his jaw isn't cracking under the pressure.

'He's dangerous.'

That's the first thought that crosses my mind. I just … know … that he can beat the crap out of me without batting an eye, that I can't for the life of me remember if I've ever seen him before, and that he's now on my doorstep doing his best to look as non-threatening as possible and failing.

"Who are you ?"

The words are out of my mouth before I can even think about not saying them, but his reaction is, once again, not what I expect. He smiles, a small, crooked smile, the mirror image of the one I sport when I try to explain to Asuka that I thought she was in mortal peril when she just stubbed her toe. The kind of smile that makes you want to hug someone silly and tell them everything's gonna be alright.

Still, I'm not desperate enough to remember my old life to start randomly hugging strangers. So I just stand there, and wait for an answer.

And, again, you guessed it, it's not what I expected.

"I'm just a friend. I've come for the katana."

It hits me like a punch in the guts. The katana. It was found with me, battered, but intact and sheathed. I've known from the start that it wasn't mine. I knew the weight of it in my hand and my body, at least, could remember carrying it. But a few tries were enough to convince me that I didn't know how to use it. And I knew that it had been lent to me, and that I would have to give it back.

"You're … Aya ?"

He shakes his head slowly. Aya. The one name I remember. The owner of the katana. This is the one thing that my sessions with all those doctors have managed to help me piece together. I knew someone named Aya, and the katana is his. I have to keep it because I promised to give it back. At one point, I'd been obsessed with finding out just who this 'Aya' was, but I couldn't find anything. The name was too common, and while my only clue was a work of art, according to the experts I'd shown it to, it was also unrecorded. No way to trace either its origin or a transaction that could lead me to the owner. I'd given up after a while. If 'Aya' wanted his katana back, then he was more likely to find me than me him.

Or, he is more likely to send for his sword and have nothing to do with me, it seems. It makes me a bit dizzy to realize that I am actually disappointed that it isn't Aya here on my doorstep, asking for his property.

"Aya couldn't come," the guy says as if reading my mind. "But he's going to need it. So …"

"I'll go get it," I say in a strangled voice.

I all but fly down the corridor and into the bedroom. It takes me only five seconds to locate the katana. I keep it within easy reach, just in case.

Asuka calls me as I pass by the kitchen. She is still standing in front of the sink with her hand under the spray. The pipes are groaning, and I don't think she heard anything over the noise.

"Yohji, who is it ?"

"I'm handling it, Asuka. You just keep your hand under the water, okay ? And … don't come out of the kitchen," I add as a precaution.

Her eyes fall on the katana and she frowns.

"Yohji, is it …"

"Please, Asuka."

She blinks at me, then nods, once, and does little shooing motions with her left hand.

The guy is still standing on the doorstep where I left him. Funny, I didn't even think to check if he was getting in or not, I just kind of left him there trusting that he'd still be there when I'd be back.

Like I knew he wouldn't get in and destroy everything I take for granted. Like he knew not to do it.

"I don't really understand," I say, feeling very calm all of a sudden, "but … I've had a feeling, for a while, that this wasn't mine to keep. So could you … could you please give it back to … to Aya ? And … please tell him I'm sorry I took so long to give it back."

I hand him the sword as I speak, and he takes it almost reverently. He looks like he's about to cry now, and I have next to no idea of how to deal with it if he does. But he doesn't. He just turns around and starts walking away.

"Glad to see you're okay, Yohji. Good luck," I hear him say, and he's gone.

I don't know how long I've been staring at the empty corridor when Asuka's voice right behind me makes me jump out of my skin.

"Yohji ? Are you okay ?"

She's wrapped a towel around her hand, and she puts her arms around my waist cautiously, as if she's afraid she'll hurt me.

"Yohji ?"

I bury my face in her shoulder and smell her hair. She's rubbing my back soothingly, like she always does when she knows I'm close to panicking. I relax into her warmth, wrap it around me like a shield.

"I'm okay," I whisper. "I think … I think I'm okay."