The alarm clock woke me up. I sat up in bed, rubbed a forearm across my eyes, and looked over at the clock. It was nine forty-five. "Shit. Sora! You set the alarm wrong."

wha? Roxas? Sora wasn't a morning person. He was still half-asleep, and his voice was faint and blurry in my head. What's wrong? The train's not till ten fifteen.

I sighed. "And if I got ready as fast as you can, that would be fine."

Oh, yeah. Whoops. Sorry.

I did my best to shower at Sora-speed, got out, and looked into the mirror at the main reason I needed longer to get ready - milk-chocolate hair, the body's natural color. Sora's color. I sighed, snapped on a pair of disposable rubber gloves, and took my bottle of one-day blond hair dye out of the medicine cabinet. I didn't have to color my hair, technically. I was still running the body, not Sora, whether it looked different or not. But it made me feel more like a different person, and more importantly, my friends all knew me as a blond.

The dye was also hair gel, so once I'd gotten the color in I pulled it into spikes - different spikes from the ones Sora liked - and peeled the gloves into the trash. Back in the bedroom, I got dressed. Closer-fitting clothes to make me look taller, long pants and black-and-white checkered wristbands to cover the skinny wrists and ankles. No pocket chain or extra belts, no gloves, no bright colors, different necklace. There were no sneakers ever made that could make those feet look non-huge, but I'd bought the ones that came closest.

I gave myself one last look in the mirror, and saw. . . not a completely different person, but someone who might have been Sora's brother. Good enough. I went back to the bedroom, grabbed my wallet and Struggle kit, and glanced at the clock. Ten thirteen.

"Shit shit shit!"

Sorry. Sorry!

The train station wasn't that far away, but I doubted I could get there in two minutes. I still tried. I ran in, panting, and slapped the cash down on the ticket counter. "Ten fifteen (pant) Twilight Town (pant)"

"I'm sorry, it just left. I can put you on the ten forty-five?"

I nearly screamed. Oh, man, Sora said in my head. I'm sorry, Roxas. I didn't think.

I took a deep breath, then let it out. "It's okay," I said to Sora, though the ticket lady probably thought I meant her. I looked up. "Yes, please. The next train would be fine." She gave me my ticket, and I wandered over to wait.

I'm really sorry, Sora said again. I know how you've been looking forward to this. I could run the body any time we wanted, but usually I'd have to pretend to be Sora anyway. Sora's friends on Destiny Island knew perfectly well he didn't have a blond-haired brother.

"The tournament's supposed to start at noon," I muttered, "and the train gets there at five after. They're usually late getting started. If I'm in the first match I might be in trouble, but I'm probably okay."

I hope so.

Of course, I had half an hour to wait for my train. I took my Struggle bat out of the bag and fiddled with it.

"Hey." I looked over, and saw a redheaded guy sprawled on the bench a ways down from me. He was stupidly tall, had to be in college or something.

I said "Hey" back, but I gave him a look, like why are you talking to me?

"You look as bored off your ass as I am," he said, like he was answering my thought. "What's your name?"

We're still on the island, Sora thought, you should probably say. . .

"Roxas."

. . .Sora.

The guy nodded. "I'm Axel. What's with the Nerf sword?"

"I'm going to a Struggle tournament, over in Twilight Town."

He laughed. "You mean that game where they stick those little Velcro balls all over you and the other guy has to knock them off?"

"That sport," I said, "yes."

Axel laughed again. "Geek." I snorted and turned away. "Hey! I didn't say that was bad. Anyone who's not some kind of freak isn't worth my time. Normal is boring."

I was a freak, now? I nearly got up and walked to another bench. But then. . . I was a voice in some kid's head that dressed up so I could go pretend to be a real person. I couldn't really complain. "So what makes you a freak?"

"Well, first of all. . ." He pulled out his wallet, and showed me his driver's license, pointing out the HEIGHT line. Six-five.

"Yeah, yeah, you're tall. . ." Then he pointed to the top right corner, where the date he'd turn 21 was printed in red. It was almost five years away. "Holy shit! Sixteen? You're huge!"

Great big grin. "That's what all the boys say." I groaned. If he'd been Hayner, he'd have gotten a punch in the arm for that joke. Of course, Hayner would have said "girls. . ." "Plus I'm a video game geek. I spend about five hours a day in the World that Never Was. You play?"

"No, but I've heard about it." It was supposed to be this weird MMORPG.

"It's crazy. Half the players in the World make up the most weird-ass characters they can, so even terminal freaks who act like themselves don't even make a blip. I love it. That's actually why I'm going to Twilight Town, to meet another Nobody."

"Nobody?"

"Characters from the World are called Nobodies," he explained. "The word gets used for the players, too."

"You're meeting someone you met online? What if he's a weirdo?"

He laughed. "Hello? I'm the weirdo. Got it memorized?" He had a point. "Anyway, we've been friends for like three years." He leaned forward on his knees. "So what about you? If this Struggle thing is a sport, why aren't your parents coming to watch?"

"My parents barely know I exist." I wasn't whining, it was literally true. My parents - Sora's parents - had no idea their son's body had two people in it. To them, Roxas was an imaginary friend Sora had when he was little. "I've got some friends in Twilight who'll be there."

"Sorry. Crappy family can really suck."

I felt guilty for bad-mouthing Sora's parents. They were great to him. If Sora and I had been twins instead of sharing a body, one of them would have driven me to Twilight Town and stayed to cheer me on. "It's not so bad," I said. Then, inspired by my thoughts about twins, I said, "My brother's cool."

"Older or younger?"

I invented quickly. "Um, younger. By about six minutes."

Hey! Why do you get to be older?

"Kind of annoying sometimes," I added, "but pretty cool."

"I used to have a brother," Axel said casually. "But he burned alive when I set the house on fire." My jaw dropped. There was silence for about three seconds. Then Axel burst out laughing. "Oh, man, you should have seen your face! Burned alive, I'm gonna have to remember that one."

He'd been faking it? "Freak!"

"Damn right." Sora started giggling in the back of my head. Reluctantly, I started laughing, too. The train to Twilight Town pulled up and came to a stop. "Finally! This is yours, too, right? Come on."

Axel and I hung out all through the train ride. When the conductor announced Twilight Town, I said, "I need to run when the train stops, I'm late."

"Here." Without even asking, he pulled out a pen, grabbed my left hand, and scrawled an IM name on it. "See ya online, freak." I waved and took off.

Twilight Town built their train station on the top of a hill, which is crappy when you're running to a train, but good running from one. I skidded into the square where the tournament was. "Ref!"

The guy turned around, and recognized me. "Roxas!" I smiled - when you live behind someone else's face, having someone look at you and say your name is a cool thing. "Thought you weren't gonna make it. You're up in two! Blue side."

I was still in time. Quickly, I strapped on the harness that would hold the scoring balls, and put on my sweatband - acidic dye-sweat in your eyes in the middle of a match is not fun. I found my friend Hayner by the ball bins. "Hey, man," I said. We bumped fists. "Get my back, would ya? Blue." We started sticking the Velcro-covered blue balls on the circles on my harness.

"Man, you missed it - Seifer got creamed!" Hayner crowed.

"By you?"

"Even better - by a rookie! Some tall kid from out of town, with no rating." This was a regional open competition. New players were welcome, but usually they lost.

"Ha! Wish I'd seen it. Twenty-eight," I muttered, counting balls, "twenty-nine, thirty."

"I got twenty. You're set. Good luck, man!"

I climbed into the ring. My opponent was a girl, which was rare - but she was taller than me and held her bat like she knew what she was doing.

"And now," the ref shouted to the crowd, "for the third match of the first round. Wearing the blue points, with a rating of 1472, Roxas of Destiny Island!" Cheers (and a couple boos) from the locals. I spotted Pence and Olette in the crowd, and waved. "And wearing the red points, with a rating of 1245, Beatrix of Alexandria! Take your marks."

We stepped into the middle of the ring and tapped swords. "Good luck," she said.

"You too."

"On guard!" She put her empty left arm forward and held her club back - a shield-type fighter, ready to sacrifice the points on her left arm to protect the rest of her body. I took a low stance and put both hands on the club - if I could push past her guard she'd be wide open. "Aaaaand. . . STRUGGLE!"

It wasn't much of a match. She had good reflexes, and she was plenty strong - my idea of breaking through her guard didn't work. But she couldn't get a hit on me at all, and I stripped her left arm and leg clean, even popping some of the balls high so I could catch them in midair. Any ball on your harness counted for your score, whether it was one of yours or not.

"Time!" We separated, and counted our balls into the scorer's bins. "And it looks like the winner is Roxas, fifty-three to thirty-nine!"

Beatrix looked disappointed, but she came over to shake my hand. "Good match."

"You too. Shield style is fine, but work on attacks and parries, too."

"Right. Thanks."

I climbed up into the stands and found my friends. "Hey, guys," I said. "Hayner told me about Seifer's match. Too bad I wasn't here to see it."

"You missed Vivi's match, too," Olette told me.

"Vivi? Really?" Vivi was little, still in elementary school. He usually hung out with Seifer's crowd, but he wasn't a bad kid. "How'd he do?"

Pence shrugged. "About like you'd expect. He was up against the top-ranked guy." I winced. "Now Hayner's gotta fight him."

I looked down, and saw Hayner in the red corner, opposite a guy who had to be pushing the tournament's age limit. "Everyone thought you were going to miss your match, Roxas," Pence said over the ref's introductions. "What happened?"

"I set my alarm wrong, and missed the train." I looked over at the board. The guy was named Setzer, and rated nearly 1600.

"On guard! Aaaaaand. . . STRUGGLE!" Setzer's bat promptly shot out and snipped two balls off Hayner's chest.

"Ouch, that was fast," Pence said. "Come on, Hayner!"

"Get your guard up!" I shouted. Hayner probably couldn't hear me, though. When I was fighting, the crowd was always just a vague roar. "Defense! Wait for it - the leg! The leg!" Hayner saw the opening, too. A blue ball bounced out of the ring. Apparently angry at his mistake, Setzer went all out. Hayner fell back, losing points from his arms and legs. Then Hayner managed to skid past a parry and knock a whole line of balls off Setzer's chest. "All right, that's it!" I called. "Hang on, watch for your openings!"

"Is he winning?" Olette asked.

"Nope," I said, keeping my eyes on the match. The two clubs were locked, guard to guard. Hayner wasn't big enough to win that kind of fight. "He's down by about four. . . whoa!" Hayner went down on his back, scraping off the twelve untouched balls there, and Setzer followed up with a lunge that cleared half his chest.

"Oh, no!" Olette said.

I was on my feet before I realized it. "That was a trip! FOUL!" The crowd noise turned angry. Hayner was shouting something, too, and the whistle blew. The ref consulted with his spotter on the other side of the ring, and blew the whistle again.

"Setzer is disqualified, for illegal contact leading to score. Hayner wins!"

"What happened?" Pence asked.

"The guy cheated," I said. "He tripped Hayner with his foot."

Hayner didn't look happy with his win. He dumped his balls into the bin and stormed into the stands. "That ass! So that's how you get your rating above 1500. He wasn't even losing." He slumped into his seat. "That was not how I wanted to win."

"I guess I'm up again," I said. "Gotta go."

I was blue again, according to the board. I caught the ball boy returning balls to the bin, and started taking them off his hands. The kid helped me on the ones I couldn't reach. As I was getting ready, I tried to get a glimpse of my opponent, but I only saw a tall, red-dotted back leaning over the bins.

The ref came over. "You ready, Roxas?" I nodded. He looked over, and got an okay sign from the bins. "Okay. Let's have a real fight, huh?"

We went to our opposite sides of the ring, climbed in, and looked up. We froze, staring at each other. "All right, folks," the ref said, oblivious to our shock. "time for our second semifinal match. In the blue points, Roxas!" My opponent mouthed my name, as if he didn't understand. "And in the red points, Riku!" If it wasn't for the sportsmanship rules, I'd have been swearing my head off. In the back of my head, Sora was staring like a stunned cow.

We'd been caught.

"Take your marks!"

We stepped forward and touched bats. "It is you," Riku said. "What's going on, Sora?" I just shook my head. There wasn't time for an explanation even if I had one. Maybe I could convince him not to tell anyone.

"On guard!"

Riku held his club high and back beside his head, the same guard he'd used in wooden swords when we were kids. He'd almost always won. Automatically, I took the low, two-handed stance we had used back then, one I still liked. Riku smirked. "No wonder Kairi said my next match would be fun."

Sora's and my reactions to that were unanimous and together: Shit! Crud!

"Aaaand STRUGGLE!"

Surprised or no, Riku was obviously playing his best game. He blocked my first attack, and his counterattack scored two points off my arm. If I hadn't jumped back it would've been more.

In the stands, Hayner and the gang were cheering my name. My name. I pushed away the thoughts of how I was going to explain and got my head in the game. This was Riku, he knew how to beat Sora. So, don't fight like Sora.

I switched to a one-handed stance, club forward like a fencer. Riku parried twice and then my lunge knocked the ball off his left shoulder. He counterattacked, scoring one back, and I switched to my left hand. (Sora and I were both right-handed, because our body was, but I'd taught myself to Struggle with either hand.) Suddenly facing a southpaw, Riku was thrown off. I scored two off his chest.

Riku backed off, realizing he didn't know my style after all. While he hesitated, I dropped my knee onto one of the balls I'd scored off him, sticking it to the velcro. I went for another, and he tried to attack while my knee was bent.

I was ready for him, of course. Oldest trick in the book. That one cost him half his right leg.

However good Riku was with wooden swords, at the game of Struggle he was a rookie. Once I had the point advantage I switched to shield style, like Beatrix had used against me. Frustrated, he pounded at my forearm like hitting it meant diddly, once the three balls there were gone. In the end, the crowd was holding its breath waiting for the score, and so was Riku, but I knew it before we counted.

"Forty-four to forty-two! Roxas is the winner!" There. Sora could never have done that. Maybe now he'd listen when I told him. . .

"Sora!"

I winced. "Don't call me that." Sora's friends had already heard "him" called Roxas; the last thing we needed was for my friends to hear me called Sora. "There's a break before the finals. Come on, there should be a place in the Tram Commons we can talk."

"What's going on, Sora?" he asked. "A fake name and a disguise? Are you trying to get around a ban or something? I didn't even know you played Struggle."

I took a deep breath. "I'm not Sora."

He shoved my shoulder playfully. That always made Sora smile, but I bristled. "Of course you are," he said. "You can't think I wouldn't recognize you, I've known you since you were two. And Roxas is just your name mixed up, with an X thrown in."

"No, I mean - Sora's in the back of my head, right now. I'm someone else." Riku looked baffled. "I come to Twilight Town because no one knows Sora here. If I want to do anything back home I have to act like Sora."

"So this is some kind of escape thing? You pretend to be someone else to deal with stress?" I growled. If he hadn't been Sora's best friend, I swear I'd have slugged him. "No, it's okay. Lots of people do stuff like this, it's just that they usually do it on the internet. It's a little weird, but whatever."

"It's not pretend, Riku! I'm. . ."

I heard the ref's voice, faintly, calling "Contestants, prepare for the final match!"

"I gotta go," I said. "Hayner already won the semifinals on a DQ, if he wins finals on a forfeit he'll be pissed. Just, let me tell Kairi about this myself, okay?" I started back toward the ring. Over my shoulder, I called, "And don't talk to my friends!"

"And, we're coming up on our final match, folks!" the ref said as Hayner and I helped each other get ready. "In a pair of surprising upsets, the top two rated contestants have both been eliminated. . ."

"What was up with that guy?" Hayner asked.

"I know him from the Island," I said. "He didn't expect to see me here."

"Well, you beat the guy who beat Seifer. And now I'm gonna beat you, and we'll both have bragging rights."

I grinned. "Yeah, right. Just like last time." In the last tournament I'd faced Hayner in the first round, and creamed him.

"Come on, buddy." I bumped fists with my best friend - and saw Sora's best friend watching us. Suddenly I remembered I'd borrowed that gesture from them.

Maybe we should have just gone along, Sora said nervously. Pretended it was a game.

"I'm not gonna pretend to be a game for that jerk," I muttered, climbing into the ring.

Roxas! He's my friend. He doesn't mean to hurt your feelings.

"Then I'll teach him better."

"Take your marks!"

I made sure to give Hayner my best game. It would be worse than forfeiting, otherwise - once I'd let Sora take over and fight him, just in a random practice fight, and he'd gotten pissed at me for "going easy on him." He had an aggressive style - he figured it didn't matter if you scored two off him if he scored three off you at the same time - and he'd definitely been practicing. He made a close game of it, but I beat him thirty-five to thirty-one.

The medal ceremony was pretty awkward. Riku got the bronze on points - Setzer's DQ counted as a zero, though forty-two was a good score for a loss anyway. He and Hayner were on either side of me, giving each other weird looks as the ref put the medals on.

"Head over to the usual spot?" Hayner offered, when it was done and the crowd was dispersing.

Riku put a hand on my shoulder. "Wait a minute, um, 'Roxas,'" he said. "Can I talk to you for a bit?"

I pushed his hand away, but not roughly. "Catch up with you later, Hayner," I said. We went up into the rickety temporary bleachers, quickly emptying of people. "Yeah?"

"I wanted to tell you," he said, "I really don't care about this. You're my best friend, Sora." I rolled my eyes - I wasn't his best friend or Sora. "I was there when you were four and you ran down the street naked with your underpants on your head." Which one of us had that been? I barely remembered it at all. "After that, this is nothing. Just, don't get too into it, okay? I don't want you to ever change."

Don't get too into it. He really did think I was a game, something Sora would put away at the end of the day. "You're an arrogant son of a bitch," I said.

Hayner would have growled and swore back, and maybe shoved me, and five minutes later we'd have forgotten it. But Riku didn't know me - he was used to Sora, and Sora has all the fiery temper of lukewarm porridge.

He stiffened, and he gave me that arrogant smirk he uses when he wants to hide his feelings. "Fine. Have fun with your new friends." And he walked off.

Riku! Sora shouted, but not out loud. I kept control. Roxas, call him back! Why did you say that?

"Because it's true," I muttered, lips barely moving. "He just assumes you won't get mad, whatever he does. And maybe you won't, but I will."

He thinks he's not my friend any more. . .

"He does not." Then, more gently, "Honest, he doesn't. He's just mad. He'll get over it. And maybe we'll even pound it into his head that he never fought with you to begin with." But he wasn't cheered up. Everyone thinks Sora's happy all the time, but it's not true. I mean, yeah, he's happy most of the time, but when he's not he usually hides it. Riku and Kairi can sometimes tell, but he and I have the same heart. He can't even start to keep secrets from me.

I just sat there for a while, rubbing my shoulders. It was the closest I could come to giving him a hug, which is what he wanted.

Someone sat down beside me, and I heard a quiet girl's voice say, "Roxas?" I expected to see Olette, but when I looked up it was Kairi. "I watched you in the tournament. All three matches."

"Kairi, just let me explain."

"You don't have to," she said, in that gentle way she has sometimes.

"I think I do." Riku thought he got it, too, after all. "I'm not. . ."

She put a hand on my shoulder. "No, really. We thought there might be something like this." Really? We who? "Roxas," she smiled at me, "my name is Namine."

My mouth dropped open. "Wait, really? You're - you're like me?" She nodded. So I kissed her.

I got kind of into it, actually. Enough that when I finished, Namine was blushing, her cool sweetness flustered. Then her mouth turned up into a teasing grin that just had to be Kairi. "Well, that answers the question of who the horny one is."

"I, um. Sorry."

"Don't be." She ran a hand behind my neck. "The hair looks great." And she pulled me down for another kiss. It definitely felt different. I don't know how I'd missed it before, unless it had all been Kairi up till now.

"Wow, this is kind of kinky," I said afterward. "I feel like I'm having a threesome."

"Make it four?"

"Um. Well, Sora's kind of bummed right now, about Riku."

"Really? Riku didn't seem to be taking it badly."

"He acted like I was a. . . a character. He pissed me off, and I said some things."

"Oh." She thought about that. "Can I talk to Sora?"

"Sure." I closed my eyes, and imagined grabbing Sora's hand and pulling him past me.

Sora opened his eyes and tried to smile. "Hi, Kairi."

"Hey. You okay?"

"Sure! I'll just get Roxas to apologize, and Riku will get over it." He wasn't as confident of either of those as he tried to sound.

"Want a hug?" He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed gratefully. Then she kissed him, and he stroked her hair gently as he kissed back. "That makeover really works," Kairi said. "When you look like that, it feels like you're borrowing Roxas' body, instead of the other way around." She paused. "Namine says she'd like to draw you - him - um, Roxas Form."

Sora laughed. "Sure! I didn't know she drew. Well, I guess it's fair, because you guys didn't know Roxas played Struggle or anything."

"Speaking of which," she said quietly - no, that was Namine now. They seemed to switch faster than we could, and more often. "I think trips to Twilight Town are supposed to be Roxas' time, right?"

"Yeah, kind of."

"Well, you go let him spend time with his friends."

"You could come with us!" Sora offered. It wasn't a bad idea. I was looking forward to seeing Hayner turn green.

"No," Namine said, "I think I should go find Riku. I'll try to talk to him on the train. I'll see you two later, okay?" And she gave him a peck on the corner of his mouth, and stood up.

"Bye, you two. See you back home." Sora grabbed my Struggle stuff and climbed down the bleachers, jumping from seat to seat. By the time we hit the bottom I was in control again, which was good, because Pence was waiting for me.

"So who was that?" he asked.

"My girlfriend. Namine." God, that felt good to say. "She lives back on the Island."

"Awesome. You never mentioned her before - is she new?"

"Sort of, yeah. I mean, she's been around, but it wasn't really official."

"Hey, congratulations!"

Over by the burger stand, I saw Axel, and a nervous-looking blond guy with an instrument case. Axel waved, and I waved back with my Struggle bat. He laughed.

I felt sorry for Sora, but even Riku couldn't wreck this mood for me (though he'd given it a good try.) I had friends, I had (wow) two girlfriends, and, most amazing of all, there were more people like us. I might be a freak, a voice who dressed up and pretended to be a real person, but at least I wasn't the only freak.

"C'mon," Roxas said. "Let's go find Olette and Hayner."