He's lying beside me now. All long lean muscle, covered by tanned, surprisingly soft skin. I can feel the soft huffs of his breath against my neck as he sleeps, one arm resting across my belly. He admitted when he came in that he didn't sleep much last night at the station. Apparently none of my boys did. Worried over me. I cannot believe I did such a dammed fool thing like not putting my gloves back on and leaning on a metal car, with a live wire sparking. In fact, I can't believe I didn't order one of the boys to do something about it.
More poof that Chet's insane diet regime was addling our brains.
I don't need to be lying in bed like I am. I'm meant to be on bed rest for 24 hours but was told I can sit up if I wanted. But first Georgie needed me, and I won't deny I felt much better sleeping in our bed with her snuggled up against me – in much the same position as Mike is now.
In fact, I feel a bit like a football. Mike came home, and Georgie passed me off to him, though she has popped in between patients to check up on us. I'll be handed off again when my daughters come home from school. And then hopefully my family will decide then that I am capable of sitting up at the table so we can eat dinner together.
It's not the family I had ever anticipated that I would have. But I have to say it's one that I am not ever going to regret – and wouldn't change. It took me a while to completely understand when Georgie – my wife whom I love so deeply – said that I had to accept that she and Mike came as a package deal. At first, I thought that meant that Mike would continue to live in the house with us, and that I had to understand how close she and Mike were. After all, they'd known each other since they were about 6 years old.
This was despite me knowing she and Mike were occasional lovers, that they shared a bed when he was not on duty. And that I shared the bed with them both more often than not.
OK – I was more than a little dense. And not wanting to believe that not only had I fallen in love with Georgie, but also that I not only loved Mike – my best friend – but had also fallen in love with him. After all, I had been brought up knowing that men couldn't be in love with other men. Absolutely not sexually attracted to them. Even just loving a male friend was a little frowned on – as if it was a weakness.
Social conditioning is hard to break, especially when you work in as intensely masculine jobs as I have – first the military, then the Fire Department.
Thank god I finally managed to see the truth, and the three of us are certainly a rock-solid partnership. The three of us always have each other's backs, and that was a huge help when my first wife, Suzie, and her husband were killed in that car accident in Washington DC.
Icy roads, a powerful car and a few too many drinks have destroyed more than one family. It left my twin 14-year-old daughters distraught on the other side of the country from me. I was actually on duty when the call came in and thank god for Mike and Georgie. By the time my replacement arrived at the Station, Georgie had packed us a bag each, booked flights to Washington, and turned up at the station ready for us to go.
A week and a half later when we returned with the girls – still distraught and not inclined to be separated from me – Mike had the girls' bedroom (they had one in our house that they used when they came to visit for a month over summer) ready, information on the local school and the paperwork to enroll them and hot pizza waiting.
And I fell more in love with him, just as I'd fallen more in love with Georgie who unhesitatingly stepped info the role of mother as the girls needed.
Nearly two years later, we're an unusual, but completely solid family unit. Georgie has gone from Auntie Georgie to Mama G, and Mike has become "Pop" to distinguish him from me, who remains Daddy (though Alison sometimes calls me Dad now – it never seems to stick though).
"You're meant to be resting." I'm startled out of my introspection by Mike's sleepy voice. I turn my head and look into equally sleepy blue eyes, filled with love and concern.
"I am resting, Michael. I'm lying here doing nothing. At least if I stayed in the hospital, I'd be able to watch television or read."
"You aren't. I know you far too well, Hank. Your body Is as taught as it is when you're on duty. You've been worrying that scene to death. Probably replaying the whole stupid scene over and over."
"I've already done that," I admit ruefully. "And I cannot believe I was such a dammed fool – doing the one thing I keep pulling you lot up on. I've now moved onto us. You. Me. Georgie. The girls. How I never anticipated this would be my family. How lucky I am. How much I love you and Georgie."
Mike's answer is a firm kiss, which I gladly return, with interest. "You better believe it, Hank." Then I prepare myself for what's coming as I see one of Mike's rare grins. "Georgie and I only pick the best slightly neurotic Fireman to fall in love with."
Zing. Stoker strokes again. I chuckle, and this time I initiate out kiss. Yeah – I love Mike Stoker as much as I love my wife, and my body reacts in a way that confirms I love him in the same way as her. "When I went down yesterday, I wanted more than anything to just have you by me, physically touching me. But I was so proud of you, how you took over. Not just as your Captain, but as the Mike I love so much."
We kiss again and I am able to relax into his embrace, both of us feeling physical sparks fanning into flames of desire.
But we're both far too lethargic to take anything further. He's still tired, and I've relaxed completely and am ready for a bit of a nap myself.
I can't help but reflect as I drift off how from a few sparks in the right place, unexpected fires can erupt into full force. Usually, our job is t extinguish the flames, but this fire… This one is different, and we aren't going to ever extinguish this. Mike, Georgie and I – we don't want to. So contrary to everything I've trained for, we'll keep feeding this particular fire.
And I'm just fine with that.