"Hola." Embry greets us in a sarcastic voice as she comes down to meet us in her living room. Ever since Sue married Charlie, Leah and Seth's big and empty house in the woods has become our packs meeting place.
"What's on the agenda for today boss?" Quil asks me, shoving his hand in a frozen waffle box in front of the freezer, pulling out six and putting them in the toaster oven.
"Nothing much. Everything's calm. Someone should just patrol, from like noon until four." I said simply, taking a handful of Cracker Jacks from the box in Leah's hand.
"I will." Seth volunteers. Typical. Embry agrees to go with him so after that is all settled, I head over to the Cullen's whose new home along the border of Canada was a longer trek for me.
As soon as I get into the perimeter of their house, Leah's comforting vanilla scent and Seth's smell of rain disappears and gets replaced with the stench of vampire. I will never get used to that. It made my stomach roll, still to this day.
"What up, mind-rapist?" I call cheerfully to Edward after I phase, who is standing on the long covered stoop, talking to Dr. Fang. He rolls his eyes at me, no longer able to get angry at my antics. Over the past five and a half years, there is nothing that can surprise him now.
"Good evening Jacob." Carlisle greets me friendly, stepping back to allow me access to the main house. I nod at him easily, holding my breath for a moment before the nausea settled.
"Ness?" I call into the house, listening for her hummingbird heartbeat to become detectable. She comes descended down the stairwell and my heart gave a gentle thump.
But hold on a second. This thump wasn't an imprint one. It wasn't the filling of helium I've come to except after all of those years listening to Sam or Jared's thoughts. Those were wolves that had healthy and stable relationships with female adults. Quil and I didn't get so lucky.
And you would think, after all these years, I would get that Earth pulsating stutter. Even as Nessie, gorgeous as can be floated down the staircase looking nearly as old as Bella or Edward, I would get that.
Nothing.
It's not love. Not yet. But this long wait is starting to scare me.
"Hey." I say lamely, kissing her cheek. We haven't kissed, officially. She knows that we're supposed to be a couple one day, but she barely mentions it. Whenever she talks about love, it's about Shakespeare or movies with that romantic aura that radiates throughout the whole thing.
Dogs can smell fear.
And Ness reeks of it.
"Hey." She mutters, scratching the back of her neck, clearly uncomfortable.
"What's up?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow with suspicion.
"Nothing. I just need to talk to you." She says, her voice slightly wavering.
"Ness, what's wrong? Are you okay?" I demand, taking a step back to examine her closely. Nothing seemed to be out of place. Her glossy white skin was tucked away behind a pair of sleek skinny jeans and her toned arms accented with a purple tank top. Her copper curls, the same color as Edward's, were pinned back in a ponytail.
"Let's just talk outside, okay?" She stutters lightly, just like her mom used too. I nod slowly, as she makes her way back out the front door. The sun is setting just lightly outside, across the horizon of tree trunks.
As we pass Ness's father and grandpa, she steps forward and presses her fingers towards her father's face. They lock gazes for a moment before the men flutter inside.
Nessie and Edward look so much alike, it's scary. They can pass for brother and sister. But Nessie and Bella could almost pass too. It's incredible, the gene pool between the three of them.
"What's going on with you girlie?" I ask, taking a seat on the swinging porch swing.
"I need to tell you something." She repeats.
"What is it? You can tell me Nessie, you can tell me anything." I tell her eagerly, grabbing her one hand comfortingly. Is this the moment I've been waiting for?
"I love you Jacob, you know I do. You have been with me forever and I love you. . . ." She took a deep breath, hesitating before adding, "Like a brother."
My eyebrows pulled together with confusion.
"This whole imprinting thing has never appealed to me." She continues, looking straight ahead. "Being tied to someone for all eternity, never have a choice to be how you want to. Especially since I've been in this for so long, I've felt like my life has been mapped out, without my say. And I hate it."
"I didn't know you felt that way." I say, almost inaudible.
"Well, I didn't give much evidence because I know how this will hurt you. And especially with everything that happened between you and Mom . . ." her voice drifted off with understanding.
"I don't want to cause you more pain." She whispers, grabbing my hand tightly. I feel like I'm having a heart attack. My veins are constricting the oxygen to my brain. My eyes are fuzzy and my skin tingles. This is a very odd pain. I'm getting dizzy and my heart sends a ripple of pain through my chest, like a wire being twined thinner and thinner until it frays and snaps.
These are definitely snaps.
I feel. . . .numb.
That's a good word, numb.
"I wish that I was in love with you Jake. I really wish that. You're the man I want to want. But I don't want to be tied down my life. I'm part vampire. I will live as long as my mom and dad do. Forever. That's an awfully long time not to be your own person, from the day your born until the day the Earth stands still."
"I love you Jake, I really do. Part of me loves the idea of being with you forever. But another part of my heart is already with someone else." She whispers, so quietly that I almost didn't catch it.
"Nahnuel." I breath, already knowing the answer as another wire snaps.
In my head, I can almost see them. The thin and glowing strings connecting my chest to Nessie's, my heart to hers. They glow with the possibility of this immense love. One by one, these strings are starting to dangle between us, the connection breaking.
She's breaking the imprint.
How is this possible? She starts to answer that for me.
"I know that this isn't supposed to happen. That I'm not supposed to not want you. But it's true. You told me you're here to be whatever I need to be. You have protected me and stood by my side; maybe that's it. You're here to be my friend, my brother." She offers.
There's nothing for me to say, so I get up slowly, ignoring her panicked gazes and gentle excuses as I walk down the porch and into the forest. Into my home.
When I get home, it's just dark in La Push. I head to the Clearwater's knowing that they have food that could heal my breaking heart and ease my stomach.
I miss Leah.
Why did I have to be a good, supportive Alpha and let her leave La Push for months in order t o find herself, find her center? She's the only one who can help me now.
Leah is my . . . . best friend. In more ways than Bella ever was. Leah get's me. We understand each other, the frenemies and Alpha/Beta bond between is unbreakable and concrete. I want her to come home desperately.
It's been about six months. She checks in every few days because she never stays in one place for long. Lately, she's been somewhere in Colorado. She rented a crappy studio apartment that is basically a living room, bedroom and kitchen all in one room. She is working as a bartender during the night and during the day; she works at a Victoria's Secret and takes classes online. She is working on her temper with yoga.
One thing she is not working on is being here for her best friend.
My head is so fumbled I don't even see that all the lights are on in the Clearwater house, the rooms beaming with excitement. Sue's birthday party? Was that today?
Oh fuck.
"Jake, buddy. Where you been?" Seth comes behind me, pounding me on the shoulder. I can barely lift my head to look at him, I'm so embarrassed.
Sam and Emily. Jared and Kim. Quil and Claire. Paul and Rachel. These imprinted couples that we're supposed to be living happily after. One that never would.
Sue, Billy and the other adults are gathered in the backyard. I can hear their laughter while the youngling's hang inside.
"Nessie broke the imprint." I whisper. Someone gasps. There are demanded whispers.
"What?" Sam, who is closest to me, demands as he shifts closer to the edge of the couch, getting a better look at me.
"She's in love with someone else. She broke it, I can feel it." I murmur, eyeing the floor. Sam's feet are in my vision, he's bouncing it. He is trying to figure out whether to question me or let me mourn in silence.
"That little bitch. I am gonna kick her ass." A voice, one I have been longing, hisses.
My eyes flash up, meeting hers in an instance. Her hair is longer, almost at her elbows again. Her beige boots have frill on them, tucked away from her skinny jeans. The purple shirt and black sweater, cardigan thing she's wearing looks beautiful on her. Her fingers twirl a gold necklace.
Her face is fuller, less anemic and anorexic looking. She still is muscular, in a feminine way, and she still has that bitter look in her eye, like she is going to knock you out. But that look is less scary now.
"Lee?" I breath, my heart stuttering anxiously. I don't dare to blink, like she's a mirage that will disappear.
"Hey buddy." She smiles warmly, her voice like a lullaby to a cooing baby. I don't say anything and she adds, "It's really me Jake."
Even out of my head, she knows what I'm thinking.
"I'm so happy you're back." I try to tell her, but my voice cracks with built-up emotion and I feel like I'm going to break down. Pain over Nessie. Joy over Leah.
"I am too." She grins sheepishly, taking a step towards me. Everyone is eyeing this encounter curiously, especially Wolfie super couple; Sam and Emily.
" Lee, I need you know. More then ever." I groan lightly and her arms are around me in a flash. I'm engulfed with the smell of vanilla, even more when I bury myself as far into the nape of her neck as I possibly can.
"God, I've missed you." I gargle with emotion against her skin.
"I've miss you too." She whispers back, clutching onto me tightly. We're holding onto each other so tightly, we sway gently on the spot. Someone chuckles lightly.
"I don't know what to do." I tell her, but I know everyone know hears.
"I know, but you are going to be okay." She promises me before turning her head away from my shoulder for a second. "Seth, do we have ice cream?"
"Um, I think so. If someone, cough cough, Quil didn't eat it all, already." Seth tells us all. I look up in time to see Quil shake his head.
Leah grabs my hand tightly and leads me to the kitchen. Without breaking our fingers, she navigates her way around, plucking a carton of chocolate ice cream out of the freezer and two spoons.
We walk back to the others in the living room, all watching us curiously. Except Sam, who is glaring. He is just upset that my pack has a tighter bond then his ever will.
"Tell mom I'll be back later. We'll be at the cliffs." She informs them.
This is going to be interesting.