"I like someone..."
"Cool, who is she?"
"It's not a girl..." It went quiet after that, the cold air rubbing up against their skin and he paused for a second, absorbing the words that left Isak's mouth, before slowly shrugging his shoulders, unable to stop the way his heart seemed to stop beating for a second, his lungs squeezing as he spoke.
"Okay... Who is he?" Jonas mumbles, suddenly unable to make eye contact with him. The air was unbearably tense and he wasn't quite sure what was going through his mind in that moment.
"Guess..." Isak mutters and it only makes Jonas let out this dry laugh, his nerves jumping, his muscles tensing.
"Guess? How the hell am I supposed to guess?" Jonas laughs out, looking up at Isak, noticing the way the corner of his lip is tugged in this awkward smirk, shrugging his shoulders a little and for a moment Jonas stats to wonder.
"Just guess.." he hums and there's a puff of air that leaves his lips and disappears into the air and all Jonas can think is how did they get here.
"Is it uhm..." He trails, unable to look at his best friend as he averts his eyes to the trees up ahead, his throat becoming thick. "Is it me...?" The burst of laughter next to him has him turning to look at Isak, the blonde scoffing at the suggestion and Jonas isn't sure if he should feel offended or disappointed. Wait, why would he be disappointed?
"What? No, try again," Isak breathes out and Jonas frowns at that, his thick eyebrows knitting together as he scrunches his shoulders.
"What do you mean 'no'? Am I not attractive?" He jokes, but part of him really wants to know. Isak stumbles on his words at that, seeming not to expect the question as he stuffs his hands into his pockets, straightening up a little.
"Yeah sure, but it's not you, dude," Isak rushes and Jonas goes quiet at that, nodding a little. If it wasn't him then who?
"Magnus?" Jonas mumbles and Isak nearly chokes on the option, though both of them know that would be a low moment for Isak.
"Please tell me you're joking?" Isak laughs and Jonas can't help smile, but there's this persistent nudging in his chest that reminds him there is an uncomfortable tightness there, but he tries to push it away, heaving a sigh.
"Ok, I give up.. Who?"
"Remember the boy from uhm.. the uh Kose-" Isak keeps droning and on, giving him hints and Jonas tries to listen, but he already knows who it is and as he looks at Isak, really looks at him and watches the way he licks his lips, runs a hand through his hair, his eyes shifting from Jonas to the trees and back, Jonas doesn't want to hear it, he suddenly really doesn't want to know.
"Can't it be..." Jonas blurts out, his voice slowly dying as he cuts off Isak and Isak can only falter, his eyebrows knitting in confusion as he looks at Jonas, slowly shaking his head.
"What?" he frowns and Jonas can only gape at him, his eyes wide with disbelief. What was he about to say, why did he say anything? "Jonas?" Isak frowns and the dark haired boy can only look at his friend, his best friend. Isak was suppose to be his friend, this is why Isak is confiding in him right? Because they're close, right? So why does Jonas feel so betrayed?
"Uhm.." Jonas starts up again, trying to shake away this uneasy feeling, offering a small smile, but Isak just stares at him, unsure what to think. "Could it be Even...?"
"That's what I just said,"
"Oh..." It goes quiet after that and now there is this even heavier cloud of awkwardness that has settled over hem.
"Why Even?" Jonas suddenly breathes out and he couldn't stop his mouth from moving, it just sort of came out and now Isak is looking at him, confusion in his eyes as he smiles worriedly at his friend.
"I don't get what you mean..." Isak drawls and Jonas swallows the lump in his throat, his fingers pressing hard against each other as he tries to gather up all the nerves in his body, exhaling slowly through his nose.
"Why not me...?" He breathes out and all he can do is focus on hos soft and pale Isak's skin looks in this shitty whether and how warm he feels just sitting next to the blonde in the frigid air, but Isak isn't sure what's going on, what Jonas is talking about, his mouth hanging half open, confusion at the tip of his tongue.
"Jonas...I, uhm..." The words won't find their way to Isak's mouth and Jonas is left trying to understand where his own words came from. "Do you...?"
"Yes," It comes out quick and without Jonas' permission and now his face is suddenly hot, his eyes focused on Isak and all he can do is watch the utter shock that crosses Isak's face and suddenly he get why he doesn't want to hear about Even or about anyone else for that matter. "I like you..." Jonas breathes out and he watches the way the air leaves his mouth and slowly fades into the air, watches the way Isak stares at him in disbelief and maybe this wasn't the smartest move. Maybe confessing to someone when they are confessing their love for someone else isn't the sure way to get the girl or in this case the guy.
"Like a like, like or-or a uh, I like you as a friend kind of like...?" Isak stumbles out and Jonas can only stare at him as if he's an idiot.
"What do you think?" Jonas frowns and he suddenly wants to leave, wants to go as far from this place as he can, but Isak is gaping like a fish out of water and stuttering so bad it makes Jonas want to stay, it makes him want to stay so he can somehow pause this moment and just watch for the rest of time, but they don't have all the time in the world and as the silence takes over, Jonas slowly realizes he isn't going to get an answer from Isak, so he does something stupid. Something really really stupid.
He leans in, his fingers finding their way to the side of Isak's face, but only gently touching the outline of his jaw as if anymore and he might break, this whole illusion where Jonas can only see a good outcome will come crashing down and he'll be left with nothing but piece of what might've been. He leans in and closes the distance between them, notices the way Isak's eyes widen and can feel the warm breath that escapes through the curve of his lips, Jonas finding his way to those lips and like he imagined in his own subconscious, they're soft and warm and they leave him wanting more.
But he can't have anymore than what he's already taken, his lips hot and buzzing from the small kiss that leaves his fingers stiff and his stomach a pool of fire. With a reluctance, he pulls away, the heat quickly fading from his lips and as he opens his eyes, he can see Isak's face perfectly. He can see the dumbfound look there as a soft red rushes to the bridge of his nose and cheeks and Jonas isn't sure what is going through his mind.
"I like you like that..." Jonas mutters slowly, suddenly getting up. He doesn't want an answer anymore. He's afraid of getting one and all he can think of doing now is escaping and so he does. He turns his back on his friend, the friend he just kissed, the friend who could very well not be his friend by tomorrow. he does this, his feet carrying him farther and farther away and even though he never hears Isak call for him, never hears the blonde's footsteps closing in behind him, he can't help but feel this warmth in his chest, unconsciously bringing his fingers up to his lips, a smile spreading from corner to corner.
It only lasted a second, but his lips still remember the softness of Isak's and there's this buzzing sensation in them that Jonas hopes will never go away.