Somewhere in the woods of a nearby park a man was brutally killed. Scratched, beaten, bitten and possibly partly eaten, young Alexander Johnson's body was found by some nearby campers a few nights ago. At first some thought that he might have gone hiking and have been mauled by some kind of bear. But further examination of his body's wounds revealed that no bear could have done something like this. The scratches were too large, and the teeth marks did not match those of a bear.
Many of the park's workers tried to find out what exactly caused this, as well as how to stop it. After the employees who traveled to the woods find the beast and report back were also killed, the staff hired a hunter to find and slay the creature. A few days later his body was also found in the woods, bloody and lifeless. Although his cause of death looks more like he was beaten to death rather than bitten/shredded like the last few men who traveled into the woods. A few gunshot shells were also found on the ground, and his gun was empty, implying that he did find something and tried to fight it before his untimely death.
The men who run the park were shocked and scared by the revelation that there might be not one but two monsters in the woods. This-plus the fact they seem to like to kill and possibly eat humans-could make the park too dangerous for not only visitors but the staff themselves. They couldn't let this stand, but they also couldn't do this themselves out of fear of losing more innocent workers. They needed to hire an expert to kill these things, as a regular hunter clearly would not stand a chance with them.
Out of options, the staff offered a lot of money to a man they knew would be able to kill the beast.
The man they hired for the job was a mercenary known as Wade Wilson, better known by his alias, Deadpool.
...
Deadpool is deep within the woods, looking for any kind of sign as to the creature's whereabouts. He had been at for about three hours at this point, with no results. The only things he found were dead animals and nothing of what killed them. Aside from that, there was nothing out of the ordinary to find in this kind of area. He was not happy about it.
He as well felt as if he were walking in circles, clearly lost. He did not want to admit this.
Man, why don't I just give up here and now? He thinks to himself. I've been here for a while and haven't seen crap!
Deadpool, still looking around, noticed some foot prints in the mud and leaves near him.
"Maybe I shouldn't give up yet. I'm sure something will come up. I mean, we have been following the footprints in the mud over here! Surely that'll lead to the beast!" he moved forward to see just how far they reached, and was pleased.
Alright! His thoughts yelled. Finally, I might actually go somewhere! Good bye, rock that looks like Nick Fury!
He ran quickly and cut down some branches in front of him, desperately following the foot prints hoping to find the beast. He finally got to where the foot prints stopped, excited that he might finally find the beat he was looking for. He pushed the final branches out of the way, ready to see what was on the other side-only to see a rock shaped like Nick Fury.
"Wait a min-"
Deadpool then lifted up his boot to look at the foot print he made. As he looked down, he saw the shape of his footprint...and they were the same as the ones he had been following. He had been following his own tracks.
Deadpool swore off the top of his lungs in frustration of how he had traveled in yet another circle.
I CAN'T &*^$*% BELIVE THIS! I've been out here for what feels like enough time to grow a beard! Even when I think I'm finally on to something, it turns out I've just walked into another ^&(*%$ circle! ^&*( it! (*^^! *! *sigh* Maybe I really should just quit. But what about the land lord? I kind of still need to live in that apartment...Ah, I might just point a gun at him. He won't charge me. Works on the pizza delivery boy. Deadpool kept walking forward as these thoughts kept pounding his head.
This beast was a fairy tale, and maybe it actually was a bear that killed those people. A Bear with fists of steel, possibly, but still a bear. I mean, we live in a universe with a time traveling guy with a metal arm and a giant purple space dude who likes powerful rocks. In fact, I'd bet it be some sort of mutant bear or something. Actually, that would be kind of coo-whatever, it's not here and I'm just ready to leave.
"This was pointless." Said Deadpool, preparing to turn around and try to find a way out of this deep woods. Right as we was about walk away, however, Deadpool saw something off in the distance that got his attention. Something he somehow didn't notice before.
He slowly walked over to what he saw, trying to decipher just what it was. Before his eyes were a bunch of trees. A bunch of trees that had all been broken, crushed, or ripped out of the ground as if something just as powerful as a lighting storm had struck them. He then looked down towards the ground, noticing some kind of large crater surrounding him.
"What the-" Wade moved closer so that he could examine the area some more. Clearly something powerful was here, just what he had to deduce.As he examined the trees a bit longer, his beliefs were verified. This wasn't done by a meteor or some kind of storm-this was done by someone's bare strengths. Someone's fists.
"Maybe I am hunting a mutant bear." Deadpool said to himself, staring at the tree that was torn out of the ground. "Maybe even the Hulk. Heck, maybe even Goku." He then noticed a few foot prints on the ground in front of him.
Finally, some tracks that don't look like my boots. He thought as he started to follow them. Deadpool kept on walking through the path of broken trees and massive foot prints on the ground. The more he looked at the damage the more he wondered just what he was getting himself into.
Walking further, he noticed something in the distance. It appeared to be a man just meditating in what appeared to be another crater. He had long blood red hair that was spiked up, with one part being in a ponytail. He wore a black sleeveless karate gi, with the top being tired with a rope. He bore dark skin and had a buff build.
So...ishe what I'm supposed to kill? Deadpool thought to himself. I mean, he is a guy in the deep woods whohas crazy strength by the looks of it. But he doesn't have any claws oranything. Well, if he's is, he's distracted, so I guess I could just kill him quickly. Deadpool as he started loading his pistol, slowing inching towards this man.
He's not looking, so I should take advantage. Deadpool thought to himself, slowly inching closer to his target. He was trying to not make any sound, just so he wouldn't be noticed. After all, it is part of being an assassin, as he would say. That and someone who looked as fit as this man could probably beat him to a pulp and make the job a whole lot harder.
Deadpool slowly cocked back his firearm right before pointing it to the back of the man's head. Right as he was about to pull the trigger, the man suddenly opened his eyes and quickly moved back, elbowing Deadpool's face in the process. This strike was powerful enough to not only knock him on the ground, but have him skid a little as well. The pistol was knocked out of his hand, firing the bullet into the air.
"What just happened?!" Asked Deadpool, a bit dizzy from the quick blow he just took. He looked to the ground to find the weapon he had just dropped, only to see that the man who just assaulted him had picked it up. The man then put his other hand on the other side on the weapon, and started pulling until it broke in half. What was most shocking about this was that he managed to break it in half with such ease, it was if he was breaking a twig.
"Hey man, that wasn't che-"
Before finishing his sentence, Deadpool managed to get a closer look to the front of the man who just struck him down. His torso was very fit, having what Deadpool would refer to as a "twelve pack". He wore a red beaded necklace around his neck, and stared down Deadpool with his red pupil-less eyes. He was gritting his teeth, with a face that suggested raging fury.
"You should probably see a doctor about your eyes." Deadpool remarked as he tried getting up while reaching for a knife in one of his pouches. Before he could grab it the man grabbed him and threw him against one of the trees that was still standing.
"You know not of who you're messing with, do you?" asked the man.
"Ganondorf?"
"I see you do not. Perhaps an introduction is in order. I am Akuma, master of the dark hado." He said, walking closer to Deadpool. "I am one of the most powerful beings in existence!"
"Oh, so we're at the exposition part, are we?" Asked Deadpool as he got up. "Well, I guess I must introduce myself. Name's Wa-"
Deadpool did not get to finish as Akuma grabbed him by the neck, lifting him up in the air.
"What are you doing here?" Akuma asked.
"Well, I was kind of hired to kill a beast in the woods. You are the first thing I came across that wasn't a rock shaped like the guy from Pulp Fiction, so here we are. I think I should get on with the killing you thing." Deadpool stated, trying to kick Akuma in the shin, which did nothing. Akuma in response just threw him at the ground, clearly annoyed.
"So, it's a fight you want? Well then, I will accept your challenge. Although, I should tell you this-This will not end well for you. It may be wise to leave me be, right now."
"Oh, you think you might kill me, huh? Challenge accepted." Said Deadpool as he reached into his back scarab and pulled out a sword. "Okay, I'm feeling a little hungry, so we should make this quick. If you can jump right onto this thing, that'd be fine."
"You think that thing will slow me down?"
"I don't see why not." Said Deadpool as he pointed the sword at Akuma. "It slows down everyone else I puncture with it." Then, changing his grasp, he started running towards his opponent. As he did this Akuma struck some sort of pose. Deadpool started charging, getting ready to decapitate his opponent. But before he could swing and deal any blows Akuma quickly shifted towards Deadpool's backside within a few seconds, seemingly phasing through the merc.
Uhh...Deadpool's thoughts uttered as Deadpool slowly turned his head. Before he finished his thought (or even turning around), Akuma struck his face, knocking him back onto the ground.
"I'm really starting to get sick of this." Said Deadpool, getting up once more. As he did this, however, Akuma just stuck him. This knocked the merc into the ground once more.
"You are pathetic." Said Akuma, looking at Deadpool. "Hibiki was tougher than you."
"I don't even know who that is, yet I'm offended." Deadpool replied. "Also, you barely gave me a chance to attack before striking me that last time. How rude."
He tried getting up and charging at Akuma gain. However, once more, Akuma struck him down. After this last hit, Deadpool threw his sword on the ground. "You know what, you've already knocked me around like a rag doll, it looks like I haven't not even able to stand up. You should probably just do the fatality now."
"Huh?"
"You know-the fatality. Finish him, flawless victory, blood pouring everywhere, ect."
"You want me to end you?"
"Yeah, there's no way I can defeat you. You've proven that with the three-wait, four bones of mine you've already broken."
Akuma gave a look of disappointment upon hearing this.
"So come on, finish me. Put me out of my misery. Rip me in half or something."
"You are even more pathetic than I thought." Said Akuma as he walked towards Deadpool. "I've only struck you four times! And you already beg for death? Weaklings like you do not deserve to li-"
"PSYCH!" Said Deadpool as he pulled out another pistol, right before firing it into Akuma a few times. Akuma not only was surprised by this, but was knocked back by these bullets. He landed flat on the ground right after.
"Well, that was anti climatic. Meeting the anime equivalent of whoever trained Iron Fist and it ending with him simply dying from a few bullets." Deadpool then stood up, dusting himself off. "Well, at least I get pa-"
Deadpool's comment to himself was interrupted by seeing what should have been Akuma's corpse lifting up his clutched fist into the air. Akuma then slowly got back up, still clenching his fist as the rest of his body moved upwards. After managing to stand up-looking completely unscathed-standing up, he opened his hand to drop the bullets that Deadpool fired not too long ago, much to the latter's surprise.
"I'll admit, I was taken aback by that."
"So you caught them? How... even you were just fast, how did I knock you on the ground? Seriously, was that just for a fake out like what I-"
Akuma grabbed Deadpool by the neck, lifting him up in the air.
"Geez man, most people just tell me to shut up." Deadpool uttered as he was gasping for air, as this time Akuma's grip was much tighter.
"You talk far too much."
"Who are you, everyone I've ever met?" Deadpool remarked. Akuma Let go of Deadpool's throat, kicking him in the face before his feet could touch the ground.
This guy means business. Deadpool thought. I've got to think of something else if I'm even going to stand a chance...
"Hey, it's Terry Bogard behind you!" shouted Deadpool.
"You think I would fall for such a pathetic trick?" Akuma said. "You must be dumber than I thought."
"I guess it was worth a shot." Said Deadpool as he got a bit closer. "You know, I'm not into this fighting thing. Maybe we could come to a compromise instead of fighting." He slowly put his hand on Akuma's shoulder. He started reaching his other had towards Akuma's chest, right inside of his gi...Right before Akuma stuck him once more in disgust.
"I don't blame you for doing that, that was getting slashfic-y" said Deadpool.
"What is wrong with you?"
"I'm cleverer than I look. I mean, you can't see it because of the mask, but I am smiling right now." Deadpool said this as he twirled a grenade pin around his pinky. Akuma then realized something was in his Gi. After seeing the grenade pin, he easily put two and two together.
Akuma started digging through his outfit in order to throw away the grenade before it went off. He did managed to grab it, and held it in the air, preparing to throw it. Sadly he was not quick enough, and it went off in his hand before he could chuck it.
Deadpool jumped onto the ground, covering his head as a massive explosion of a bright orange cloud was formed from behind him. Alongside said explosion was a big bang, one Wade was sure could be heard in Latveria. Dirt flew around everywhere, causing Deadpool to have to close his eyes in order to not be blinded by it.
Soon, everything settled, and Deadpool could see agian. It took a little while for him to not hear anything that wasn't an annoying ringing noise. While he waited he decided to admire his handy work.
"He'd have to be a god in order to survive something like that." Deadpool said as he stood up and dusted himself off. "Okay, let's see if I can find the body. The sooner I can find that, the sooner I can pay the rent." He then moved forward to investigate the area. Little did Deadpool know, something was watching him from afar as he started searching for Akuma's body.
Deadpool looked though every bit of dirt, every bit of area that was clearly affected by the explosion.
No luck. He thought after looking for a while. Either the explosion caused him to be flung far away or he got blown into tiny pieces. I highly doubt the secound one because there's no blood or flesh chunks anywhere.
Deadpool kept on looking, trying to find a piece of cloth or something to know that at least the guy's clothes were torn.
Still nothing. Deadpool thought to himself. Oh, this is a set up for something, isn't i- Deadpool heard something coming towards his direction, as turned around to see what it was. All he could see was Akuma's hand grabbing the chest of his outfit-then nothing. Everything went black for him. The only thing he knew was that something was striking him very hard in many different parts.
All he could feel was a lot of pain. Almost as if he was being stuck 30 times a second. He wasn't even sure what it was hitting him, or where it was coming from. All he could tell was that something was hitting him at a rate that would make Shang Chi jealous.
Within an instant, it was over, and Deadpool could finally see again (albeit with the rest of his body in pain). He could barely see straight, but at the same time he can guess what something was. From what he could make out, Akuma was standing there triumphantly with his back turned, revealing some sort of Japanese character on his back. His outfit had been torn and burned in spots-possibly by the grenade-leaving only his pants and the remains of what was the top of his gi.
"You must think you're clever." Said the powerful Akuma. "Trying to confuse me while stuffing a bomb in my clothes. You must have thought that would kill me-and look where it got you-broken, bleeding, and grasping to life like the weakling you are. Maybe it'd just be better for you to die right now instead of suffering like this." Akuma put up his hand, preparing to push it through Deadpool's torso.
"Maybe it would be better to just die...shame that I kind of can't." Deadpool mumbles as he tried to get up, all bruised and broken. "God this is gonna hurt for like five minutes."
"Only five minutes?"
"Okay, you know how in some video games you think you had finally defeated the final boss only for the jerk to use a special move that allows him to regain all of his health? I'm kind of like that. You may have broken five-wait, six of my bones with that super move of yours, but-okay, seven bones-but I'm not dead yet. In fact, I'm just getting started. You may have won the first round, but it is I who will perform the fatality!"
"You are right, my adversary. There will be a fatality today. But it will not be me." Akuma replied as he walked closer.
"You trying to say I'm the one going to die?" Deadpoolsaid, trying to stand up. "Sorry to disappoint, but as I already said, I kindof can't." Akuma then charged towards Deadpool, trying to move so fast as to preventhis opponent from doing anything. He was going to kill Deadpool here and now. Clenchinghis fist, Akuma started aiming for Deadpool's ribcage. But before Akuma couldhit him, Deadpool grabbed the pistol he tried to use earlier and fired off afew rounds in Akuma's direction. While Deadpool was aiming for the head, heended up only grazing Akuma's cheeks due to the latter's speed. This didhowever, slow Akuma down a little as once more he was preoccupied with makingsure none of the bullets pierced him.
Deadpool then tried to fire some more rounds, only for the pistol to not fire anything after two more missed shots. Akuma, seeing the opportunity, continued rushing towards Wade in order to blow some kind of final strike. Deadpool expected this, quickly grabbing a branch and smacking Akuma across the face with it. This give Deadpool an opportunity to keep on running up and kick him straight in the jaw.
Deadpool then uppercutted Akuma, knocking him on his back. Deadpool stood triumphant at having dealt a few blows to his opponent, right before falling over again. Turns out his wounds hadn't healed completely.
"Seriously, I thought you were the king of fighters earlier." Said Deadpool, looking at Akuma. "How is it that I'm beating you so easily now? Was the writer just worried about me looking weak?"
"Writer? What writer?"
"Eh, you wouldn't understand." Said Deadpool as he grabbed his knife again. He nearly drove it into Akuma's chest, but Akuma grabbed the merc's hand.
"You really like grabbing me, don't ya? You know, most people buy me dinner first before they get all handsy."
"I know not of your fighting style, or of what you speak of. But I do know that I will not be defeated by the likes of you!" Said Akuma as he tried to get up, throwing Deadpool's knife aside.
"We'll see about that, HeiHachi." Said Deadpool as he got up.
"I know not of who that is."
"Isn't he, like, the final boss in Tekken? The guy with the mustache and-ah forget it." Said Deadpool, getting up once more now that he had healed some more. He then walked over the Akuma, looking him straight in the face. "I guess I better finish this now."
He grabbed another knife out of one of his pouches. He then raised it preparing to jam it into Akuma's chest, much like he did earlier-or at least he would have, had Akuma not grabbed his hand once more. Akuma, using a combination of his strength and anger squeezed tightly in order to crush Deadpool's hand, causing him to drop the knife.
"AGGGGHHHH!" He screamed as he grabbed his hand. "Agghhh...god that hurts! Why did I think that would work the secound time?!"
"I am tired of this." Akuma said as he struck Deadpool once more. "All I wanted was to be left alone. To train without any interruption. And you came along to annoy me to no end with your irritating jokes!"
"I get that a lot."
"And even now, you still joke! You may have gotten some more strikes on me, but I have regained the lead! I am going to end you here and now!"
"Heard that one before too."
"I don't know how you survived the Shun Goku Satsu, but I can make sure you will not survive the end of this!"
"Shun Goku Stastu? You really are some sort of anime character, aren't you?"
Akuma swept his foot back, performing a stance. With a look of anger on his face, and a dark aroura around him, Akuma Stared directly at Deadpool. On his face he wore a look of fury that Deadpool had not seen from him yet.
"Prepare to feel a world of pa-" Before Akuma could move or even finish his sentence, he was suddenly struck by some sort of large creature that jumped out of the nearby trees (the ones that were still standing, anyway). This thing soon pinned Akuma to the ground, roaring into his face, getting spit all over it.
"What the-" Deadpool could barely finish his sentence before he got a real good look at what exactly this thing was. When Deadpool looked at it, it looked to be some sort of mutant gorilla, with sharp teeth (all of which were covered in drool) and what appeared to be bones sticking out of its shoulders. Its eyes were bright green, and it appeared to have some sort of eight pack on its torso. It had massive claws on its toes and fingers. It was truly a sight to behold.
"So I guess that is what I was supposed to kill. Honestly, if we didn't live in a world with frequent alien invasions and a walking anthropomorphic duck I'd be more surprised and/or impressed."
The beast looked at Deadpool, with a look of fury without it's face. It gritted its teeth while clutching his fists, turning to the merc in order to attack him. As it charged towards Deadpool Akuma then dealt a blow to the creature, knocking it back a bit. Deadpool then thought of something.
"Hey Vegeta-" he said to Akuma, who was preparing to strike this thing agian. "You want isolation, right?"
"Since when has that been a concern of yours?"
"Listen-if someone like the X-men or the Avengers-heck, maybe even the Power Pack-knew you were here and that you are this powerful, they'd come to take you out. Heck, the only reason I provoked you was because I thought you were what I was hired to kill, but I think it's clear I was supposed to kill that thing."
"Where is this going?"
"I want your help killing this thing. I will get all of the credit and I'll not tell anyone you're here. You might be able to sleep in peace, provided you stay far away from the trails or from human sight. You see, we both get something out of this. What do you say?"
"If you promise to never come within the same space as me agian, I will assist you."
"Good." The gorilla then looked quickly at the two. It gritted its teeth and took stance, ready to strike. Deadpool and Akuma did the same. Akuma stood in a powerful fighting stance as Deadpool loaded a pistol, while standing heroically.
"All right...Let's go all Mario on this Donkey Kong!"
"What are you blabbering on about?"
"The old Donkey Kong game, where the gorilla was the villai-nevermind."
The gorilla started charging at them as this sidebar conversation was happening. When they noticed Akuma moved quickly to get advantage as Deadpool grabbed the magazine of the pistol Akuma broke earlier.
"Good thing you survived the grenade." Deadpool said to the magazine as he loaded his pistol. Using this, he started firing what few bullets he had left. With two of those rounds, he managed to take out the beast's knee caps, crippling it.
"Hope you weren't fond of those kneecaps." Said Deadpool upon grabbing his knife from earlier. "And I also hope you're not fond of whatever I'm going to puncture right now."
Deadpool flipped over to the beast's back and stabbed the beast in it's pelvis, wounding it even further. Despite being in pain however, it successfully managed to grab him off of his back by grabbing him by the face and pulling it towards itself.
It slowly started squeezing Deadpool's head in order to crush it like a tomato. That was when Akuma-using his Ashura Senku (the move he used against Deadpool at the beginning of their fight)-phased in front of the gorilla, dealing a massive blow to it's stomach; right before striking him in the jaw.
"Now, for the ultra-combo." Said Deadpool. Akuma looked confused at this. "Let's hit him at the same time."
"Alright." Akuma said, scrapping his foot back while Deadpool did the same. They both clenched their fists at the same time and stuck the beast, Akuma so hard that it shattered the Gorilla's ribcage. Deadpool's was less impactful, brushing the beast at best, but he could still pretend it was bone shattering.
After a few more strikes from the two (Deadpool using a knife after a few powerless punches), the mutated gorilla toppled over and ceased moving, laying ina puddle of it's blood. Deadpool grabbed a stick off to his right and poked the mutated beast with it, just to make sure it was %100 dead.
"Welp, it's dead." He said walking towards it's feet so he could drag it. "Alright, I'm gonna go take this back to the park ranger, get paid, and go buy some frozen burritos, and maybe watch some Orange is the New Black. And don't worry, my lips are sown shut. No one will ever know you're here."
"Just go, and never come back."
"Will do." Deadpool said as he started dragging the Gorilla through the woods. "Also, I think it might rain later, so don't worry about the blood trail. If it's still there after that, just punch a tree until the leaves fall. That way-"
"JUST GO!"
"Okay." Said Deadpool as he walked off with his prize, whistling Guile's theme as he did so. Akuma sat down, preparing to meditate. He's glad Deadpool left.
"Why couldn't it have been Ryu?" he asked himself.