A/n So I don't normally put one of these first but I am just to say that this chapter takes place at the end of episode 5.13 after Cas shows up in the motel, passes out and Dean makes his "Team Free Will" speech. Enjoy.

"It's been a long few days," Sam agreed, "lend me the keys and I'll go get us some food." Dean pulled the keys to the Impala out of his pocket and tossed them to Sam who left the motel in one swift movement. He could hear him start the car just outside the window and drive away. He adverted his eyes back to the comatose angel passed out on the foot of Sam's bed. The sickening pang of guilt that had been residing in the pit of his stomach all weekend worsened when he took in Castiel's condition. It started when he zapped them back in time and they found him close to passed out coughing up blood. Dean didn't want to leave him alone in the hotel but there was no way they could lug him around and know for sure his dead-to-the-world body was safe, and that would just waste time. So he made damn sure Cas had gotten the nicest room in the hotel and left him a note incase he woke up. The note had read, "You passed out and we couldn't guarantee we could keep you safe so I had to leave you here. Please forgive me. Call me when you wake up. 555-2476. Sorry, Dean." He left his number just incase Cas was confused when he woke. That's when the guilt had started. Guilt from causing him too use too much power, guilt from him falling so ill, and guilt from having to leave him behind. It had followed him through everything he had done on his trip back in time till now. It carved at his gut, leaving a feeling worse than when the Hellhounds used him as a chew toy. And on top of it he couldn't figure out what made him feel so guilty and leave the aching in his chest and the nausea in his stomach. However, looking at his limp body just now he never would think of doing something like this to him again and made a simple vow with himself that he would try harder to protect his best friend next time because that's who Cas was, his best friend, he was nearly as important as Sammy.

He carefully picked up the angel and positioned him into a more comfortable position on his own bed propping a pillow under his head. He found some ibuprofen in the bathroom cabinet and got a tall glass of water. He highly doubted it would do anything for the powerful being, but he very carefully poured a few pills down Castiel's throat hoping it would prevent a possible fever or massive migraine, again he thought to himself that it probably wouldn't do anything, but there was no reason not to try. Dean sat next to him on the bed propping up his feet. He gently started running his fingers through his hair hoping it would soothe him or help him wake up.

"I'm so sorry Cassie. I can't believe I let this happen to you. I won't let you hurt yourself like this again. You have to be more careful. I have to be more careful. I have to protect you better, like I protect Sam. I can't lose you Cas. I love you." Dean yanked his hand back to his side and stood up. He couldn't believe the words that had come out of his mouth. He just wanted to talk to Cas, comfort him, possibly coax him out of his coma he did read somewhere familiar smells and voices can pull people out right? Or was that just his imagination? Either way he still couldn't believe what he had said. Did he love Cas? No. That was preposterous. Yes he did love Cas but he didn't love him. Surely that's what he meant when he said it right?

Right, Dean assured himself, that's exactly what you meant.

After calming himself down he resumed his position next to Cas, opting not to touch him again but just offering comfort-from-a-distance. However he was incapable of pulling his gaze away from the angel's calm face.

"Am I interrupting something?" Sam said smiling as he tossed a bag of food at Dean. Dean never having noticed his return.

"No." Dean said sternly ignoring the heat rising in his cheeks. "I just feel guilty."

"Don't. It's Cas he'll be perfectly fine." Sam reassured.

"Yeah you're right." Dean nodded and bit into his burger trying to ignore the nausea to keep Sam's suspicions at bay. The brothers ate in silence, Dean sneaking a look at Cas every so often convinced Sam never noticed. Sam resisted saying something to Dean about the stares but kept quite, figuring he wanted it to seem like there was nothing out of the ordinary going on, but Sam saw right through him.

"Hey, so it's getting late, I think I'm going to go to sleep now." Sam spoke pulling Dean out of his trance.

"Oh uh yeah I guess I'll sleep too." Dean mumbled.

"With Cas?" Sam asked raising his eyebrows. Dean turned back to look at Cas and shrugged his shoulders.

"Whatever. He's out cold." Dean claimed. Sam nodded his head smiling. Dean took off his jeans and slid under the covers next to Cas. He sunk into the sheets trying not to make his pleasure apparent to Sam.

Dean could feel Cas's cool breath on the back of his neck. He could even smell Cas from where he was. He smelt like new leather, just fallen rain, fresh cut grass, and a touch of gunpowder. The smell was intoxicating and soothed Dean to sleep quickly, the guilt slowly evading his gut.

When he woke a few hours later, the sun was filtering through the motel blinds, he saw Cas had gone. He was upset he left, but relieved he had recovered.

"Finally awake?" Sam called out to him.

"Mmm." Dean grumbled.

"Cas left." Sam informed him.

"I noticed." he grumbled crawling out of bed getting ready for a shower.

"We're gonna head out. Bobby called said something about two people eating each other to death." Dean paused before walking into the bathroom.

"Ate themselves to death?" Dean said incredulously.

"Yup."

"Shit just keeps getting nuttier." Dean scoffed climbing into the hot water.

A/N So I hope you liked it. It's shorter than I'd prefer but I hope it's still just as good. I'm going to try to stay with the timeline for at least two more episodes, 5.14 My Bloody Valentine, and 5.15 Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid. I have some ideas for both those episodes and I'll either stick with it for a few more and venture off or just venture off. Depends where the story leads. Thanks for reading! Don't be afraid to review! I don't bite! I accept all anonymous reviews so anyone can leave one. Much love! Tootles! xoxo.