Blaine twists his body left and then right in the seat, nothing feels right, as he tries to make himself comfortable in the waiting room chair. It's covered in just enough leather to make it look like it's not the solid wood it is, though his ass and back are telling him otherwise. It feels like he's been sitting here for hours already. With yet another glance to his watch, the second hand ticking slowly around and around the face, showing it's only been about ten minutes.
Ten minutes ago he left Kurt lying on a bed with tubes coming out of his face. The nasal cannula crossed above his mouth pushing a slow steady stream of air into his lungs via his nose. The i.v. tubes ran from his pale thin wrist with a steady supply of god only knows what chemicals dripping in a slow rhythm from the bags hanging above. Sticky pads stuck all over his torso and back with wires coming out meet in a little black box held in a pouch of the hospital gown he's wearing. He was starting to doze just slightly, his eyelids obviously getting heavier with each drip that was passing through the tube of his i.v. The nurse had told Blaine he could go to the waiting room and they would call the desk for him when he was finished and a doctor would be out to talk to him. He gave Kurt a slow kiss trying to ease the man's mind as well as his own. He held in his nervous energy as he walked out, knowing he would see him again but not sure how it would go or the news he would be hearing.
He loses himself in thought of how he left Kurt lying there for a few more minutes that feel like a few more hours. Checking his watch once more he sees another five minutes has crawled by. With a sigh, he stands, runs sweaty palms over his pant legs to straighten nonexistent wrinkles, and makes his way to the desk.
"Can I help you with something, hon?" A sweet elderly receptionist asks as he approaches.
"Yes, thank you. My husband was just taken into surgery and I can't, I can't just sit here…" He trails off hoping she understands his stress and nerves. The smile and slight nod are acknowledgement enough that she gets it.
"Do we have your cell number up here?" She asks as she looks at a few papers on her desk to see if she can find it.
"You do, mine is his contact information. I'm Blaine Anderson-Hummel." He smiles as best he can and tries to stay in the conversation instead of letting his mind wander some more.
"Oh, here it is." She confirms, looking at yet another paper on her desk. "As soon as we get information we'll call your cell so you can come right back up. Now, you do know, it'll be a while. It appears the operating room has been booked for four hours." At that information Blaine's eye brows rise into his hairline. Four hours? That seems so long, even for what has to be done. "That doesn't mean it will take the entirety of the four hours hon, they just want to be sure they give themselves enough to do the procedure properly, it means they're taking their time with him, doing it right." She gives him a bit of a wink and her lips turn up a little more as she sees him visibly relax at her encouragement. "Then he'll be in recovery for about two hours before he'll be moved to his own room. That's when you'll be able to see him, so you have some time. Maybe go get something to eat or just take a walk, it might help relax your mind a little."
"I think I will, thank you ma'am" He smiles more genuinely this time, this lady is clearly trying to help him and in a way is his only source of support in a tangible way right now.
"He's in good hands Blaine, I promise you, the best." She shines warm eyes on him, reaching across the desk and patting his shaking hand. He can't help that he turns his over and grasps hers tightly, for just a moment, a need for contact. He lets go nearly as quickly as he had latched on and walks away without saying anything else.
This hospital is more confusing than he thought it would be, or maybe he's just more distracted than he anticipated. He wanders aimlessly for a little while, looking at signs but not really seeing any destination that is calling out to him. He looks at the pictures that decorate the hallway walls. It appears the powers that be think that up close hi-def shots of every flower known to man are aesthetically pleasing and somehow relaxing. Blaine supposes if nothing else, they cause him a moment of distraction and for that he's thankful. He listens to doctors passing every which way in conversation with each other or on cellphones. He's not selfish enough to think he'll hear something about Kurt from eavesdropping on them, they clearly aren't all here to work on his husband today, though maybe if they were things could go faster. Eventually he finds himself in an elevator. He pushes the button for the first floor, not really knowing what's there but it seems like a logical place to start he guesses. When the sound of the doors opening draws his attention, he steps forward and passes the few people waiting to get on, and starts wandering again.
He has his phone firmly held in his hand now nearly willing it to ring, though he knows it hasn't even been an hour. He locates one of the large television monitors mounted randomly through all the levels of the wing the surgical suite is located on and waits for the number assigned to Kurt to show up on the screen. It takes a few minutes for it to scroll to the right set of numbers, a lot of people are obviously have procedures today. Finally he reads that his husband is still in an operating suite. He's not surprised and should probably be relieved that this is his result, but it still doesn't feel good to know. He watches the screen until the numbers change again and he no longer has proof at eye level of his husband's location.
Roaming away again he finds a small shop around a bend in the hallway and through the long panes of glass he is drawn inside to look around. He walks slowly and stays silent though the mood is brighter here and staff and customers are interacting in a way that feels more like a convenience store than a corner tucked in a hospital. He reaches out and blindly grabs a sandwich and a bottle of soda from the cold food rack, knowing it wont do him any good to starve himself for the day worrying. He walks around to the other side where there are little gifts and things for sale. He finds a little red stuffed dragon with golden thread shimmering through its wings and his eyes draw Blaine's attention. The poor thing looks almost sad and in need of someone to love it. It takes him approximately two seconds to pick it up and take it, he knows Kurt will love it. Before he leaves he adds to it a little heart shaped balloon with 'I love you' written in a curly silver script across it, on a long plastic stick. He considers a book of puzzles or crosswords for him for a moment but realizes he doesn't know if his husband will be staying here for any length of time, and that feels like a gift for a person who is going to be taking up residency in a cold sterile room for a while. He doesn't want to jinx the results, so he leaves the book and pen sitting where they are on the shelf and walks away with the rest.
Across the hall from the shop there are a few tables and chairs set up and he claims one, piling his bags on it, as he sits in a cold metal chair. Sunlight streams through a large window in the wall directly in front of him making it almost hard to see without squinting. He knows he has time to waste just waiting to hear something but at the same time he wants more than anything to just get back upstairs and be right there when Kurt is able to see him again. He eats only as slowly as his body forces him, taking large bites at a time and washing each down with a large chug from his soda bottle. Only once was it too much, causing him to choke momentarily and causing a coughing fit that nearly had him spitting the entire contents of his mouth onto the table top. After a few gasping breaths to get himself back under control, he slows just a little more, not wanting to make that happen again. When he finally gets through with his food, he throws away his garbage and is prepared to go back upstairs and wait for however long it's going to take for them to come and tell him that he can go see his husband. When he takes a couple of steps into the hallway from the alcove he had just eaten in, he's pulled again by just a glance. He turns his head left and then right to make sure he isn't going to walk into anyone coming either direction when he notices something at the end of the hall that he hadn't noticed before. It looks like a piano at the very end of the hall. He can't help but investigate.
Slowly, cell phone in one hand again, bag of gifts for Kurt in the other, he makes his way toward it. From where he is, it just looks like the end of the corridor, but that is definitely a piano sitting there. There's a glass wall behind it but nothing else is really presenting itself, other than maybe a staircase but he's still not sure. He keeps going, now hearing people here and there, nothing loud, just general chatter of people up ahead. When he gets to where the piano is, someone walks up and sits down, starting to play lightly, an upbeat melody. He looks around seeing that the hall opens up completely here. A large sign as he enters declares this is the cancer center of the hospital. He knew the entirety of this tower of the hospital is the cancer wing, after all, this is where Kurt needs to be for his surgery, he just didn't know this area of it existed. This place is set up in a beautiful and relaxing way. The glass wall he had seen behind the piano on the way in is actually a railing that leads down a curving set of stairs. There's a large white structure coming up from further down and going higher into a tower that the staircase circles. It looks almost like a trio of ribbons twirling and weaving their way up through this bright beam of light that shines nonstop thanks to the fully windowed top of the tower up above it all. He looks down over the side of the railing and sees a small waterfall coming out of the wall and pouring into a pool at the very bottom where colored lights give off a beautiful rainbow like glow. Before he knows it, his legs are carrying him down the spiral staircase to investigate what other hidden secrets are waiting at the bottom. There's a bench near the pool that the waterfall empties into so he sits on it noticing all of the coins in the water. He can't help but wonder how many of them represent a wish for one more day, one more month, a chance to start over, a wish to live. He pulls a handful of change out of his pocket and one by one, with a small kiss for luck, he tosses each one with a silent wish for the safety and health of his husband. When his hand is empty he turns his attention to the wall across from where he sits. There's a large stained glass art piece that takes half of the wall. It's an elaborate design of fields and trees, branches reaching high above a small farm in the background. Small pink flowers float around the foreground in what appears to be a spring type of scene. The whole thing is lit up from behind making each section of glass shine and glisten beautifully. He can't help but feel peaceful here so he stays for a while, trying to not think, but to just take in the peaceful feel of his surroundings.
After a while he realizes he doesn't hear the soft tinkling at the piano anymore and slowly pulls himself up from the bench and takes his time coming back up the winding staircase. Instead of walking back across the room that is more crowded than he had noticed originally, he leans over the railing again, looking at the white ribbon sculpture as it disappears into the tower above and following it back down with his eyes to where it gathers at its end in the pool of water below. When he hears speaking close to him he turns from the railing and sees that the piano playing has stopped because someone has approached the player and they're speaking excitedly. He doesn't want to intrude so he walks back across the area and takes a seat on a cushioned bench to just look around some more. He likes it here and isn't ready to leave the comforting feeling it gives him. He feels like it should be a sad place, when he looks at the actual people who are here. There are maybe a dozen or so he realizes now as he gives them individual attention for a moment. All ages and races are represented, young to old, black, white and so many shades in between. Some have bald heads and he knows it isn't a fashion statement they are willingly going for. Some are hooked to machines with blood pumping out, circulating the tubes, and returning to the body. Some look tired, some bored.
Blaine tunes back in to the conversation at the piano. A couple of others have now joined them. The woman has a smile on her face that is contagious to all those around her. She's wearing a scarf on her head, covering the same bald scalp that so many others here are sporting. In her hand is a teddy bear that she is holding tightly, and a checkered flag which she is clutching as though her life depends on it, and in some sense, now that Blaine is listening, he supposes that it is a representation of exactly that. He hears a few kazoos play out sharply in the somewhat quiet area and then the piano picks up again for a moment. Those around the room smile up at the people there, they know things that most people don't about what is happening right now.
"What are you going to do now that you're free?" The lady at the piano asks excitedly.
"We're going out to a really nice dinner." The other smiles, eyes shining as she looks across the room to a man standing close to where Blaine is sitting. He hadn't even noticed the man there until now, but he's not sure how he missed him since he's pretty sure that man's smile alone is lighting up half of the city around them.
"That's so nice!" Piano lady responds, bobbing her head.
"Then I'm going to buy the biggest, richest, most expensive, most bad for you black cherry doughnuts I can find, and I'm going to eat them until I'm sick!" The other says with an evil slant to her laughter. All of those around her laugh out loud. Blaine can't help but giggle at her response.
After listening to that interaction he pulls himself away from it. He feels strangely like he has intruded on something very personal and he should feel bad about it, but he doesn't. It was a moment he needed to see and hear today. He witnessed someone's miracle, the turning point in a person's life when they knew without a doubt that they were healed, they were whole again, and that cancer hadn't taken them and made them a statistic. She crossed the line, she got her checkered flag. Cancer wasn't necessarily a death sentence. They could fight, Kurt could fight, and he could win. The inevitability of death was just not the case, she had won, and so could Kurt.
He nearly runs back to the elevator and up to the fourth floor. He needs to be able to see his husband, he needs to hold him and tell him it's all going to be okay, that no matter what the doctor tells them after this they will fight and get through it together, that Kurt will walk out with a checkered flag of his own and they will go and do whatever it is Kurt wants to when it's over. He will be there for him, for all of it, he will be the man smiling in the corner at the perfection that is his husband alive and healthy and healed of whatever this mass is that is trying to take over his brain right now.
He walks into the waiting room again, speed in his step, an anxiousness that doesn't relate to the nervousness he possessed when he had left it. He looks at the board and waits for Kurt's number to appear again, it's already on the screen. It shows he has been in recovery for about twenty minutes. He still has a while to wait but now he feels more confident and less afraid of what the results might show. After letting the kind woman at the desk know that he has returned, he takes a seat yet again. It's still not comfortable but doesn't seem as bad as before. He goes to Facebook on his phone and updates that Kurt is now in recovery and that he's still waiting to hear from the doctor about how it went. He messages Burt, Cooper, and some friends they have made along the way in this life of theirs. Of course they had all wanted to be there but Kurt refused them. He needed this moment to be for himself and Blaine. He loved his family and his friends but sometimes they could become overwhelming and with what was going on, there was already enough overwhelming everything in their lives. He apologized and promised updates to all through Blaine and through himself when he could and hoped they could all understand. It took Burt some time, he was not okay with not being there for his son but he knew in the long run risking his own health issues to be there for Kurt would only make Kurt and Blaine both worry more and they didn't need that. So, in the end he gave in and accepted the wishes of his son, even though he still didn't like it.
After taking a short phone call from Burt, Blaine gains even more strength from him and the short back and forth with Cooper. He's ready to take on life with Kurt in a whole different way, fighting literally for the life of the man he loves, he will do whatever is necessary.
Lost yet again in his thoughts of Kurt and life going forward, he doesn't see the doctor come out the door of the surgical unit, streaks of blood still staining the front of his operating apron, mask pulled down off his mouth but still hanging from where it's attached around his ears. He doesn't see as he approaches the desk to ask about Mr. Anderson Hummel's spouse and his location. He doesn't see as the man appears before him.
"Blaine?" The doctor asks in a soft voice, making the other jump in his seat and nearly drop his phone to the ground. When he looks up and sees Kurt's doctor he catapults to his feet, reaching out a hand to shake.
"Doctor, how did it go? Everything's okay?" He rushes out on a breath. Suddenly sucking in air and expelling it are not as easy as it was just a moment ago.
"It went well, would you accompany me over here?" He asks as he points out a door in the corner of the room that Blaine hadn't even realized was there this whole time. He nods and walks slowly, but something about having to take the conversation into the privacy of this small space makes him think that something is definitely wrong and it suddenly becomes very real again.
When they enter the room Blaine sits on a small overstuffed loveseat on one side and the doctor sits in a chair on the other, but the place is so small they nearly knock knees trying to adjust. He looks up without saying a word at first, trying to read the look on the surgeons face. The man must play poker because Blaine can't find a tell, good or bad, in the man's currently concrete like features.
"Everything is okay, right?" Blaine looks the doctor in the eye, again afraid of the answer.
"The procedure went well, yes." The doctor nodded. "Kurt is awake, groggy and still out of it for the most part but, he has woken up on his own, his breathing is normal. Everything about the procedure itself has gone well. He isn't none too happy about the fact that we had to shave part of his head, he said bald is a look he cannot rock!" The doctor finally cracks his façade and laughs as he air quotes Kurt's reaction making Blaine laugh out loud too. That is definitely something his husband would say whether he was on a high dose of pain killers or otherwise.
Just as quickly as a laugh is pulled out of his chest, it's quieted as he thinks of the reality of seeing Kurt, bald in spots, the same wires and tubes still connected to his body and probably more added to it, dizzy and not quite all there as he comes out of his anesthesia or after he has pushed the button for the inevitable morphine pump that will be there to comfort any pain he may be feeling.
"He's going to be okay, right?' His eyes melt into shallow pools as the tears collect there waiting for word before they fall. The doctor reaches out dropping a firm hand to Blaine's knee and makes sure he has complete eye contact before he says a word.
"Blaine, your husband is doing well, we were able to locate and eradicate the mass very quickly, though I'm sure it didn't feel so quick to you. Medically speaking it was a near flawless procedure. We got in, we were able to cut the entirety out, there was no damage to any surrounding tissues, cells, or brain matter."
Blaine listens intently just waiting for the other shoe to drop, the 'but' to follow any of these positive remarks. The doctor continues for a few moments, explaining in detail the steps through the surgery and after he's done with his medical jargon, he explains what he said in layman's terms. He watches Blaine relax as he recounts the events, feeling it is finally sinking in for the man.
"Blaine, he's okay. He made it, whether it was cancerous or not, which we'll find out after testing is complete, it's gone. There is nothing there, not only is he okay, he will be so much better than he has been for this last little while. The headaches should go away, the blurry vision, dizzy spells. With this mass out of his brain, nothing should stop him from living a full and complete life by your side."
Just as he finishes speaking he's taken aback by an armful of man. Blaine squeezes his arms around the surgeon not caring about the potential for the blood on his clothes to stain his own and finds himself burying his head into the man's shoulder and sobbing loudly. It's an involuntary reaction and he can't seem to stop himself for what feels like ages. The doctor gives him a few moments before he pulls back to check his phone after feeling it vibrate on his hip. After a second he replaces his phone and looks to Blaine again.
"What do you say we go see that husband of yours, huh?" He smiles the knowing smile of a man who saved more than one life today just by saving Kurt's. He knows by this one interaction with Blaine, that he would not survive without his husband, his life would be over if he didn't have Kurt.
Blaine wipes at the tears that have tracked down his cheeks and dripped down the front of his shirt. He smiles at the surgeon, a genuine smile that they both can feel all the way through them. He nods his head and turns to the door.
"Let's go."