Ok I worked on this for a while so I hope it's good. I'll eventually have more chapters, in case it wasn't obvious to you, but I have no idea how long that will take. I have a lot of school work to do so it may take a little while for me to publish more to the story but don't worry I'm not one of the people who disappears for months. Anyway enjoy the story. Oh and I've said it before but I will clarify that I do not own South Park, if I did do you think I would be putting stories up on this site? Exactly!

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I walked out of my home, if you could really call it that, pointedly slamming the door as hard as I could, it didn't matter though, nobody would notice I had left anyway. I should be used to it by now but it still bothers me when my parents fight, which is pretty often. This particular fight, however, was getting violent, so I escaped the house before objects were thrown in a fit of drunken rage. If I stayed home when a fight escalated to this level I always seemed to get caught in the cross fire so I learned to just leave before this happened and I was able to avoid confrontation most of the time.

I never went anywhere in particular when I would leave my house I just walked around the town avoiding going home. If it was already dark when I left I would normally go to Starks pond and lay against a tree all night, never falling asleep but not fully awake either. Sometimes I would rather freeze half to death at Starks pond than see my parents poisoning themselves slowly, other times I'm able to block it out and imagine I have a different family. Unfortunately that's not how life works, there's no family ready to come steal me from the hell hole I call home, I'm stuck until the day I turn 18.

Even though my parents were lazy, alcoholics, and could even be called abusive, I still hate to see them do something so damaging to their health, they're still my parents after all. Sure, I've tried drugs before, and I even tried drinking a few times, but I'm still a kid, I'm supposed to make those mistakes.

I angrily kicked a rock, hoping to take out some of my frustrations on the inanimate object, but, my luck being as crappy as it is, the rock bounced off a nearby trash can and hit me squarely in the jaw. "Son of a-!" I yelled grabbing at my jaw that was no doubt going to have a bruise later.

I just shook my head, hoping the pain would just randomly disappear, and continued walking. I was now passing the TV store and paused to see the weather report. "We're looking at a large snowstorm ready to hit us tonight; at least 2 feet of snow are expected. If you plan on leaving your house bundle up and prepare for the temperature to drop to about 18 degrees Fahrenheit."

I looked down to see I had forgotten my sweatshirt when I left my house. My day had just gotten worse. I had two choices, I could either go home and deal with the wrath that is my father or I could freeze to death. Neither of those options were very appealing. I certainly wasn't ready to completely give up on life but I wasn't about to go home to where I wasn't wanted.

I continued my walk considering any other options. I could go to a friend's house and hope they would have enough pity to allow me to stay and impose on their life for a little while. Although my friends seemed to think I didn't mind mooching off of people and wasting their time but it was actually something that bothered me. I hated the fact that my parents couldn't support their own family and left their kids to care for themselves. At first I had honestly wished that I would one day be able to pay them back but as the years passed I began to realize that the day I would be able to pay them back was not likely to come. As I came to this realization I asked less of them and preferred going hungry over imposing.

Now that I was desperately trying to find a way to live to see tomorrow without having to go home I thought about who would actually let me stay at their house for the night. Cartman; I wouldn't even consider going to him for help, he would never help me and if he did it would only be so he could mock me about it later. Stan was probably planning on talking to Wendy all night and if he wasn't then he would blabber uselessly about her, this wouldn't exactly be my first choice but if need be I would go to him for help. Kyle would be my first choice out of my three friends. He wasn't likely to be doing anything and he had always been the nicest to me. I couldn't help but feel a little guilty about going to him for help once again, he had helped me too much since we became friends so long ago in kindergarten. I felt like I had used him too many times and that thought made me ashamed of the situation I had found myself in, and this wasn't the first time.

Feeling I was out of options I trudged in the direction of my friends house, worrying what his reaction to finding me on his doorstep would be. I worried until I reached his front door, then I forced myself to look like I normally do before I slowly lifted my hand to knock on the door. A few minutes drifted by before the door finally opened to a familiar redhead. I forced a smile and said, "Hey Kyle," as if this was just a normal visit.

"Um, hey Kenny, I wasn't expecting to see you, honestly I would've expected Stan to be coming over telling me Wendy broke up with him again or something, but hi…I guess." He said looking at me questioningly and I knew he was refraining from asking me why I was there.

"I came over cause I need you to do me a favor." I said as he stood back a bit inviting me inside.

"Dude where's your jacket?" He questioned, obviously wondering why I wasn't wearing the one article of clothing I rarely ever took off.

"I left it at home; I left in kind of a hurry." He tilted his head slightly and I knew exactly what this gesture was asking. "My parents were drinking way too much, I left before it could get too out of hand." I mumbled looking away feeling my face begin to heat up in embarrassment.

"Oh," he said quietly and I could feel him watching me. "You wanna stay here tonight?" I nodded, carefully looking up to judge his reaction. "That's fine with me but it is a school night so we'll have to stay in my room or else my parents will flip shit. Is that alright?"

I smiled and nodded. "Thanks Kyle, what would I do without you?"

He thought for a minute then smirked. "You would be forced to resort to going to Cartman when something like this happened."

I shivered at the thought. "I think I would rather ask anybody else at the school."

He laughed agreeing with me. "Hey, you wanna grab a bite to eat before you're locked in my room for the rest of the night?" I shrugged not wanting to impose any more than I already was. He simply rolled his eyes. "C'mon you can have a sandwich or something you're probably starving."

He made a simple turkey and cheese sandwich and handed it to me before putting everything back into their proper places. "Thanks Ky, you're too good to me." He just smiled sheepishly and walked up to his room, me right behind him practically inhaling my food. By the time I finished the sandwich we were in his room with the door shut securely behind us, successfully hiding me from his parents. I sat in his computer chair while he layed across his bed making himself comfy.

Kyle layed there and stared at me as if he was looking for something and I stared right back hoping I would miraculously get the power to read his mind so I would know what he was looking for. After a minute of this I moved my eyes away from his searching gaze to look out his window. I couldn't stand to look at him any longer, I knew I wasn't doing a very good job at keeping my expression blank and I felt like he knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Dude you ok?" he asked, apparently trying to break the silence. I didn't move, didn't even look at him, fearing that he would easily read me like a book if our eyes met. "I can tell something's bothering you, maybe talking about it will make you feel better."

"It's nothing." I mumbled looking slightly in his direction. "It's not important, don't worry about it." I added hoping to stop any further questioning.

"No matter how unimportant it may be it's still upsetting you. And of course I'm gonna worry. Kenny, you're my friend, when something worries you it worries me." Kyle said in his unrelenting tone that I knew meant he wasn't going to just let it go any time soon.

"Well I don't really know what's wrong." I gave one final attempt.

"Yes you do."

"Fine, I do! There's something bothering me, so sue me! I don't wanna talk about it Kyle! Just get off my back!" I yelled, finally meeting his eyes. He looked hurt and I felt a pang of guilt knowing he had only been trying to help.

"Ok…" he said quietly, no longer pressing the matter. "But if you change your mind I'm always available."

I nodded and looked away again, this time embarrassed that I had yelled at him. It's not that I couldn't trust Kyle, he's the only one I could trust, I was just used to hiding my feelings from everyone that I couldn't just tell him everything I was thinking. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, I know you're just trying to help but I just…" My voice trailed off and I couldn't figure out how to finish the sentence.

"It's fine." He said not needing me to finish the sentence to understand. I opened my mouth to say more but before I could the sound of his parents getting home from work stopped me. "My mom always makes me help her with dinner so I'll go get that over with, you can go on my computer or something until I get back." Without letting me say anything more he left the room leaving me feeling more alone than ever.

I didn't turn to the computer and surf the web like Kyle probably thought I would. I just sat there thinking, something I was doing increasingly often. Why did I always feel so damn alone? The feeling would creep up into my chest at random moments, even when I was surrounded by 'friends'. The truth was, I didn't really consider anyone my friend, and not one of the people I hung out with in school even knew anything about me. No one knew that I was actually smart, just too lazy to do the work, or that my favorite color isn't orange like my parka, but is a green that is almost the exact shade of Kyle's eyes. I could easily continue that list because no one knows anything at all; they make assumptions rather than trying to get to know me.

I hate to admit it but these assumptions hurt. Why did everyone always expect the worst from me? It was probably because of my parents. I could probably take every bad thing in my life and blame it on my parents. I won't stoop to that level though. What good would it do anyway? It's not like pointing fingers at others would change the last 17 years of my life; hell, I wouldn't mind just changing the last 2.

I sighed and began rocking the chair back and forth lightly in an attempt to prevent my emotions from getting out of control but I could feel them slowly skyrocketing. On one hand I was angry that everyone had judged me so quickly and then deemed me inferior. My expression quickly changed from anger to sadness as my thoughts shifted. They were right. I was inferior, just look at my family, there's no way mine could ever compare to theirs. Nobody liked me anyway so why should it matter who's family is better? I am just a waste of space, in fact my entire family is, not one of them will ever do anything with their lives.

My chest started to feel cold and I stopped rocking the chair. It wasn't that people hated me, I never gave anyone a reason to hate me, but then why didn't they like me? What did I do to deserve being ignored? Was I condemned to a life of solitude? I slammed my head into my hands not even attempting to answer any of my questions. They didn't really have answers anyway, but the more I thought the more depressed I felt.

All of these thoughts made me feel like magnesium when it's put too close to a flame, I was gonna blow up and the little bits of me would fan out across Kyle's room. Don't be surprised by the science reference, I use references like that a lot, and I did say I was secretly smart. I wished I could just spontaneously combust like that, it would be an easy resolution, but I wasn't quite ready to give up on life yet so I was partially relieved when I stayed in one piece.

I couldn't, no, I wouldn't, give up. I had to find some way to organize my thoughts and sort this all out. I decided I would pull all of my thoughts together and then talk to someone I could trust about how I had been feeling. I was going to end this rein of depression somehow and I knew I couldn't do it on my own in a non-violent way. I had to talk to a friend, that really just means Kyle, no matter how much I hated talking about my feelings.

When Kyle came back a half hour later mumbling something about how his mom wanted to eat early I was sitting in the same spot I had been when he had left. Although I had plenty of time to think while he was gone I had no idea what I could possibly say that would start some sort of discussion that would make me feel better. I didn't want any of the 'everything will get better eventually' bull crap that people usually say to cheer up a friend, how is that supposed to make me feel better? I didn't want to wait for 'eventually' to come, I wanted a permanent fix on the situation right at that moment. I knew patience would be best and that my life wouldn't miraculously be better within moments of our discussion but I needed something better than 'eventually'. There was no way I was going to just sit there and wait for everything to fix itself, I'm not one to sit back and relax while everything around me goes to shit, no higher power was going to save me, I would pull things back together myself. I only had one problem. What was I going to say?

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Yes it's kind of a cliffhanger type ending but it had to end somewhere. Please let me know what you think, I worked very hard on that and I want to know what you think! Doesn't that make you feel special? I actually do care about your opinion!