I'm baaaaaack...sort of. With a weird random ficlet that popped in to my head while I was listening to the radio on the way to work. I've been in a major funk lately, so this isn't a happy fic, just me being moody and wanting to write. If you don't like it, I certainly don't blame you. I'm not sure how I feel about it either, but it's the first thing I've done in months, so I decided to inflict it upon you innocent readers... :P

She don't want the world
songfic from Three Doors Down song of the same title
disclaimer: not my song, not my characters, I'm just making them suffer. You can sue if you want, but I barely own myself at this point, so good luck

The open wound she hides
She just keeps it bundled up
And never lets it show

She sighed softly as he rolled out of bed and began dressing without a word. She knew it was coming, knew what he was doing, and what he would say if she stopped him. "Stay," she whispered anyway, knowing it was pointless.

He barely glanced at her as he finished buttoning his shirt and reached for his boots. "We've talked about this," he said, his tone saying he didn't want to talk about it again.

"Ya," she agreed, forcing a smile. "I know."

She can't take much more of this
But she can't let it go
And that's ok, she don't want the world

He stood and left without another word, and she flopped back to the bed, sighing again in defeat. It was like this every time. He had told her when they first fell in to bed together that he wasn't looking for a relationship, that he couldn't be anything more to her then a bed partner, and she had readily agreed, willing to sacrifice her feelings for her body's desires. But deep down she had wished and prayed that he would change his mind. That was months ago. And he was showing no signs of wanting anything more than casual sex from her.

It was getting harder and harder to say goodbye. Each time he would come to her, she opened her arms and bed to him, again and again. And afterwards, he would pull away, leaving her feeling alone and cold. But, she told herself a little bit of him was better than nothing. Despite her thoughts, the tears slipped down her face, and she eventually drifted in to a restless sleep.

All the things she says
While he's just lying there
Without someone to hear her cry
She slips off into a dream
About a place to hide
And that's ok, she don't want the world

She tried to hold on to him, tried to enjoy the few precious moments he would give her after their encounter, but he pulled away far too quickly. Without a word, he rolled over, turning his back on her. The silent message practically screamed at her. Trying to hold back her tears, she climbed out of bed and began gathering her clothes. In her mind, she begged him to say something, anything that showed he cared at all, but the words never came. She left quickly, sneaking back to her own room.

This love she feels
Everything she's ever known
Or ever thought was real
Seems like it's been thrown away
Now how's she gonna live
It's ok, she don't want the world

Crawling in to her bed, alone again, she cursed her stupidity. He was never going to change; she was nothing but a warm body to him. She longed to hear words that he was never going to say. No matter how much she showed her love to him, he remained closed off, ignoring her pain. He wanted her body, not her soul.

Those words he never spoke
Haunt her life, the memories
Of all the times before
She tried to show him love
While he would only ask for more
But it's ok, she don't want the world

She closed her eyes, trying to force the misery from her mind. As sleep finally claimed her, she prayed that her dreams would be happy, if her real life couldn't be.
Her dream was like a photo album, showing her a life that hadn't yet been lived. She saw herself surrounded by family and friends, smiling, happy. As the images changed, she noticed one huge difference from her usual dreams. In the old ones, she was always with him; he was the one causing her happiness instead of pain. In this strange, new world, the man beside her was unknown, his face obscured, when he was there at all. It became clear to her, she didn't need him to cause her joy, she didn't need anyone crushing her spirit the way he had. The thought was like lifting a great weight from her shoulders, and the relief showed on her sleeping face.

Softly in her sleep
Pictures of the life she's longing
For slowly appear
She's seen them all before
But somehow never quite this clear
She just smiles, she don't want the world

Waking up refreshed for the first time in months, she smiled to herself as she thought about her dream. She knew there was a life out there, just waiting for her to live it. She had been too caught up in holding on to something that didn't want to be held, the struggle taking all her energy. Letting it go was going to be hard, but she could, and would find a way to move on, alone.
She quickly readied herself for the day, determined and focused on the future she now knew was waiting for her.
As the day ended, she knew what was coming. He met her eyes across the room, eyebrow raised in silent question. As she steadfastly ignored him, he frowned in confusion. Finished for the evening, she started for the door that he was standing near. He began to grin, but faltered as she passed him without a glance, her head held high, and her message clear. She was done waiting for him; it was time to make her dreams come true.

A brand new morning shines
As she wakes up alone again
This time to face the day
She swears there's time to make it
As she simply walks away
And it's ok, she don't want the world

Well...there you go. Sorry about that...I promise to try and create something more cheery once I'm in a better mood. :)
As always, I love to hear what you think!