A/N: Just because I ship Perachel. Note that this is my first try as angst. And Rachel is so OOC, it's unbelievable. But give it a try anyway :)

Dear Diary,

It hurts. It hurts so much.

I don't know if I ever had a chance with him. But it doesn't matter. Because even if I did, I let it go. I let it slip from my fingers like water. And I hate myself for that.

The truth is, I was scared. I was so scared of all the things I was feelings for him. For Percy. I hadn't felt anything remotely similar for boys I had crushed on earlier. What I feel for Percy is unique. It's magical. It's breath-taking. It's…there. That's the biggest problem of all. And there's nothing I can do about it. A little part of me doesn't want me to do anything about it. Because then the feeling will be gone and that will be my greatest regret.

I wish. You wish. Everyone wishes. But none of the wishes actually come true now, do they? If they ever did, then it's a coincidence. Because almost always, we wish for the impossible. We wish what we know has very less chances of coming true. And that's why we wish. Because if wishes were likely to come true then they'd just happen. There would be no reason for us to wish for them. I know whatever I'm saying/writing/thinking is twisted and doesn't make sense but that's what a broken heart is all about, isn't it? It makes no sense.

Percy was never mine. The moment I saw him with that pretty blonde, I knew it somewhere deep in my heart that he would never be mine. But I said, "Screw it." A girl can wish, right?

I despise Annabeth. I shouldn't. It's not in my nature to hate anyone but she took Percy away from me like a hawk. She crushed my dream before I fully dreamt it. It was the worst feeling in the whole world. I felt like drowning myself. But drowning myself included water. And water reminded me of him. Percy.

I thought being the Oracle of Delphi would take away all my emotions and help me escape from it all. But it didn't. If anything, it made it worse. Because I saw them every day. I saw them every day being happy. I saw them every day being in love. I saw them and every time I did, I wish I hadn't. I laughed with them but it was so fake even a deaf person could've understood it. But they didn't. The reason was that they were so fully immersed in their own happy little bubble; the outside world didn't matter to them. What I felt didn't matter to them.

I used to think my hurt would subside over time but guess what? It didn't. It grew stronger just like their love did. I used to break a little inside every time they shared a look, a hug, a kiss. But I pretended to be happy for them. They couldn't understand the difference.

I'm not the Rachel Elizabeth Dare who hit Atlas with a plastic hairbrush. I'm broken now. I can never be the same again. Not without Percy but I'm not going to tell him that. This may sound like sappy love nonsense but it's true: I'm willing to sacrifice my own happiness for his.

You know, one unfortunate day I was exiting the Big House after having a talk with Chiron and I heard voices. Percy and Annabeth. I felt guilty like hell but I still decided to eavesdrop on them. Percy was spouting all this "I can't live without you" crap and Annabeth was happily eating it all up. Then he said something that crushed the small sliver of hope there might've been.

Percy said, "I love you," to Annabeth and you know what? He meant it. He completely and fully meant it.

I ran to my cave and cried for hours.

But no one heard me.

No one saw my grief.

No one cared.

Especially him.

Percy.

A/N: Well I think this is just crap. I wanted to try my hand at angst and I think I failed miserably but it would be nice to hear what you think so please, PLEASE review!