Hello, all! :) I am writing a new story this time. This one's going to be depressing.
This story is based off of Korean singer Taeyang's song Wedding Dress, the best song in the world. Go watch it on Youtube, it's really sad. Basically, it's a story about a guy who loves his best friend, and he's about to propose to her, but suddenly a man (her boyfriend, I guess) interrupts and proposes first. It's so sad! He's like, fingering the ring in his pocket, and then the stupid guy just comes and ruins his moment. Anyways, he's invited to their wedding, and he feels all broken inside. D: I'm not going to completely follow that storyline though, but something like it. :D
By the wayyy…If you haven't read my story 'BTR and the Battle at Hogwarts' yet, you should check it out. Haha. :3 Anyway, hope you like it. :DDD
Chapter One
When people see Logan Mitchell and Kendall Knight walk together, their shoulders a little too close for comfort, hands intertwined, and occasionally a head rested on the other's shoulder, they pass it off as simply being close friends. Because that's just Logan and Kendall, best friends since the day they were born.
What people don't know, though, is that they're both bisexual. The thought never crosses those peoples' minds, because they think that people like Kendall and Logan- gay people, they're weird.
But honestly, Logan or Kendall don't give a shit about what other people think of them. You see, they've got this little bubble around them, their bubble that blocks those kinds of people out, shatters them into a million pieces and hide them deep inside the hollows of their bones, where nobody can hear their disapproving voices.
Logan and Kendall, they're best friends. They like to play hockey, sing, and joke around with their other friends James and Carlos. James is gay, too, but Carlos isn't. But at least Carlos doesn't care about that, he loves his friends because they're silly, fun, and always there for each other.
They've all been through some tough relationships, though. James, he's the pretty one of the group. He's extremely vain, so it's hard for him to find someone who not only loves him for his looks, but his personality, too. He's dated tons of guys in his past life, and almost all of them have ended up in rape or abuse. Right now, James is dating Kendall, and is seriously considering proposing. Kendall doesn't know, though.
Carlos is the fun, crazy one; he's always looking for something extreme. He gets hurt a lot, and whether it's stitches or broken bones, Carlos is still pumped for more. He's dating a girl named Stephanie now; she's pretty, sweet, and totally understands Carlos. When Carlos gets injured, she's right beside his hospital bed, scolding him, because that's how much she loves him.
Kendall is the 'leader', the one who makes all the plans when they get in trouble, the one who cares for them and fixes all the problems. He's bold, strong, and responsible; and once dated a certain Logan Mitchell. But it's over, now. He knows he had broken Logan, and yes, mind you, he does feel overwhelmingly guilty. But it's not his fault. It's his dad's. His dad hates Logan, and told Kendall to break up with him, or else he would hurt his mother. And Kendall couldn't let that happen. So he forced himself to forget Logan. Even though he denies it, deep inside he knows he still loves Logan. Right now, he's dating James, to move on, and even though he doesn't think of James that way, he's afraid of losing James like he did Logan, so Kendall does his best to keep their relationship.
Logan's the 'brain' of the group. He strives to be a doctor, so when one of his friends get hurt (usually, it's Carlos) he's right there beside them, doing his best to heal their pain. Logan's very sweet and kind; he would do anything for his friends, even if it meant sacrificing himself. He's not very experienced with dating, in fact, Kendall had only been his second boyfriend. When Kendall had broken up with him, Logan was shocked; he had done his best to make sure that Kendall was happy with him. What had he done wrong? He had been sure Kendall loved him too; Logan had been waiting four months for Kendall to propose. When he didn't, he assumed it was too early. When Kendall sent him that text, though, Logan locked himself in his room and sobbed into his bed for days. He still cries himself to sleep, two months later.
~never should've let you go, never felt myself at home ever since the day you walked right out the door~
Today is November 2. It's Kendall's birthday, and Logan is prepared for this day.
He knows Kendall loves him too; he catches him staring at a worn-out picture sometimes, and Logan knows without having to look that it's the one of him and Kendall five months ago, sitting together on a bench each eating giant three-scooped ice cream cones. Their faces are smiling, and Kendall has tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. Logan hates that picture, because there's chocolate smeared all over his face and it's embarrassing, but Kendall once told him it was adorable. Also, Logan catches Kendall staring at him a lot recently, and when he looks back at him, their eyes lock for a second until Kendall looks away. But Logan always can see the guilt, regret and sorrow hidden beneath those eyes, even when their eyes lock for just a millisecond.
Logan decides that this is enough evidence that Kendall still loves him; after all, it's not good to jump to conclusions. Though, technically, if this had been six months ago, Logan would still consider this 'jumping to a conclusion'. But Logan didn't even care anymore. Logan Mitchell six months ago was a completely different person from the Logan Mitchell today. Today, he was going to do what he had been waiting for this whole time. He was tired of waiting.
He wakes up at four in the morning today, and gets ready for the day. He brushes his teeth for five minutes straight, and showers as quietly as he can, careful not to wake anyone up. He gels up his hair with James's best hair gel, sprays a little vanilla-scented cologne on him, and dresses neatly in a white button-up shirt with a black vest, plus skinny jeans, and black loafers. When he's done, it's almost six. He tiptoes to Carlos's room, stepping lightly on the wooden floor. Once he gets there, he slams the door open, runs inside, and shakes the sleeping Latino awake.
"Carlos! Carlos, get up! I need your help!"
Carlos springs awake, startled, and falls to the floor with a thud, blankets tangled in his legs. Logan chuckles and helps him up, trying his hardest to avoid his friend's glare.
"What do you need that's so important at," Carlos gives the clock a half-hearted glance, "Six in the morning?"
Logan grins brightly, smiling wider than he ever had since Kendall broke up with him. He's grinning so happily, in fact, that Carlos's glare turns into a smile. Logan leans over to the Latino's ear and whispers something. At first, the smaller boy is confused, but as Logan finishes his sentence his face perks up.
"Oh my God, Logan! That's awesome! Sure, I'll go with!" Carlos rushes to the bathroom, throwing on a random change of clothes. He emerges from the bathroom two minutes later, grabs his car keys, and runs out the door, followed by an excited Logan.
For the first time in six months, Logan feels happy. For the first time in six months, Logan knows he's not going to be alone anymore.
~you were like my beating heart, even though we've grown apart my brain can't seem to let you go~
Today is November 2. Today is Kendall's birthday, and James is prepared, too.
He predicts that today, Kendall will wake up at ten in the morning, since today is Saturday. Since right now is six thirty, he has about three hours. Three hours to do what he's been waiting to do his whole life, with that one person he loved so much.
He gets up out of bed, takes a shower, and carefully fixes his hair. He finds his favorite hair gel in Logan's room, for some reason, but shrugs it off. After putting on his special pine scented cologne, James dresses in a striped blue and white button-up shirt, a black tie, black jeans, and white Converse. When he's finished, he walks out of his room, (vaguely noting the lack of Carlos's loud snoring) grabs his car keys, and heads out the door.
When James arrives at the mall, he parks up at the front. There are not many people, since it's so early in the morning, but as he walks towards the entrance, he sees a car exactly like Carlos's. There's even a scratch on the hood, like the one Carlos had when he almost ran over Logan riding his bike. What a coincidence, he thinks. But he ignores it again, because nothing can spoil his mood today.
As James walks through the automatic glass doors of the mall, he immediately heads toward his left. He knows exactly where to go; he'd been planning this for months. He enters the store with confidence, walking right up to the store clerk. She looks in her twenties, with long, brown hair that's pulled over her left shoulder. She looks up and smiles brightly at James.
"Hello, what can I do for you today, sir?"
James grins and hands her a torn magazine page, with a picture circled in black Sharpie. The young lady takes one look at it, and disappears behind the doors in search of the matching picture.
James smiles and sits himself down on a stool nearby. Finally, he thinks. I'm finally going to have him.
~thinking back to the old times, when we used to mess around; laugh, play, fuss and fight~
Logan is skipping around the mall, for once more excited than Carlos. "I can't believe I'm actually going to do this," he says for the fiftieth time that day. "I mean, you would think that he would be the one doing it to me, with him being manlier and all, but I get impatient," Logan adds thoughtfully. Carlos smiles at his friend. Ever since Kendall broke up with Logan, Carlos had been there for his smaller friend the whole time. Now, Logan and Carlos are almost as close of friends to each other as Kendall and Logan had been before, and Carlos always feels the need to protect the smaller boy.
As they enter the small store, Carlos notices a tall man walk out. He has sandy-colored hair, much like James's, and was about the same height as him, too. Wait…what? Carlos moves to look at the man, but he's already walked away. Carlos shrugs and ignores it. Maybe it was just a coincidence.
"Hello, sirs, what can I do for you today?" the clerk asks, smiling.
Logan smiles and pulls out a piece of paper. It seemed to be cut out of a magazine, but the edge was so neatly cut you almost couldn't tell. He pointed to a picture on the sheet. "This one, please," Logan said politely, still grinning brightly.
"That one? Absolutely," The clerk reaches down and pulls out a box. She places it in a plastic bag, and hands it to Logan. "Here you go. This one's popular today," she notes, as Logan pulls out his wallet and pays.
"Thank you! Come again," the clerk lady calls behind them as Carlos pushes open the doors and leaves the store, Logan following close behind.
"Dude! Where'd you get the money to buy that thing? It was, like, crazy expensive!" Carlos exclaims while they walk towards the exit of the mall. Logan smiles and shrugs, like it's no big deal.
"I used my college money. It's not a problem, I just hope it'll all be worth it," Logan says quietly, looking up at the sky thoughtfully. He honestly doesn't mind. Just the thought of being with Kendall again, having those strong arms wrap protectively around him, gentle green eyes staring at his with overwhelming love, oh God, Logan would give his life to have that feeling again. Kendall was the only one who knew him better than Logan knew himself. He knew what kind of foods Logan liked, he knew what clothes would look good on him, what kind of stuff Logan would want. He knew all the little tiny details that no one cared about, like the fact that Logan hated jelly with his peanut butter sandwiches because the jelly always made the bread soggy, and the fact that he never bought flowers for Kendall because he was sure that a flower without its roots was a dead flower. Logan just couldn't wrap his head around why Kendall had broken up with him, though. Had he done something wrong? Logan just hopes with all his heart that Kendall would give him a second chance.
Carlos, on the other hand, can't believe it. Just the thought that Logan would give up something he had worked so hard for just for Kendall, it was just so sweet. Carlos smiles and reaches up to ruffle Logan's hair. "You're one selfless little thing, you know that," he whispers, "Any guy would be lucky to have you."
~you got control of me, and I just can't explain. someone call 911 emergency, before I go insane~
Kendall wakes up at 10:21 AM, and after he gets up out of bed, showers, and dresses, he's met with a shower of 'Happy Birthday's from his three best friends. Kendall, at first, just wants to go back to bed and sleep forever, but when he looks up, and sees Logan's gorgeous, genuine crooked smile looking up at him, suddenly today is the best day of his life. Because he hasn't seen that smile in almost two months, and he's missed it like hell.
Kendall grins, thanks his friends, and sits down in his usual place, beside James. Logan offers him chocolate chip pancakes, his favorite, and once Kendall bites into it, he knows Logan made it, because he's the only one who knows Kendall loves cinnamon with his pancakes. It's not really a secret, just a little fact that Kendall likes to keep between him and Logan.
After he's finished wolfing down the pancakes, they decide to watch a movie until lunch, and after that Carlos had booked reservations for skydiving. Logan even had agreed to go, for Kendall's sake. Kendall picks The Fifth Sense for their movie, and after they finish watching it they scarf down five boxes of pizza. Then Kendall gets dressed, since the other three boys had already done so, and they head out to go skydiving.
James is overjoyed to see his boyfriend's smile so bright. His present is in a box in his room, tied neatly with a large silver ribbon. He can't wait for dinner. He'd been waiting his whole life for this to happen, and today it's going to happen. He grins as Carlos whoops loudly as he walks out the exit, and James glances back at his room, where his precious present is waiting to be given, before walking out the door, right behind Carlos.
Logan's smiling genuinely the whole time, because he can't wait 'till dinner either. He fingers his treasure in his pocket, traces each diamond gently with his fingernail, strokes the golden edge with the tip of his thumb. He closes his eyes and gives a quick prayer, Please, let me have a second chance. , before following his friends out the door, closing it gently.
~snapping out of this misery, depression this ain't me. but i always turn around 180 degrees.~
"WHOO! THAT WAS AWESOME!" Carlos shouts loudly as they enter the fancy restaurant, earning several stares. Logan shushes him.
"Carlos, not so loud!" he chastises. Logan's face is pale, he had thrown up violently right after landing. Logan Mitchell was definitely not a boy of extremes. James, Kendall, and Carlos, on the other hand, were all whooping and cheering.
"We are so going again for Logan's birthday," Carlos decided happily, bouncing in the seat they were escorted to. "That's in, like, fifteen days, right?"
"No," Logan groaned, placing his head into his hands. "We are absolutely not. I think I'm going to be sick," he muttered. But honestly, even vomiting his lunch and breakfast violently several times could not ruin his good mood today. Because he still had Kendall's present in his pocket, and it was almost ready to be given.
After a dinner of spaghetti, salad, garlic bread, and tomato soup was finished, Logan was ready to do it. After all these months of waiting, he was going to ask for a second chance.
He pulled out the ring from under the table, looking down at it solemnly. Memories suddenly came flooding back to his mind, memories that Logan had been trying so hard to forget the past two months. Alright, this was it. He was going to do it. He braced himself silently, before standing up.
"Kendall, I have something to say to you," he said, smiling nervously, fingering the ring under the table. Kendall looked up at him, questioningly, and Carlos gave Logan a thumbs-up from beside him.
"What is it, Logan?" Kendall looked at Logan gently, with those soft emerald green eyes that Logan loved so much. He took a deep breath locking eyes with the taller boy.
"I—" He began, and suddenly James stood up, too. "Wait, I have something to say that's probably a little more important," James was smiling, and he moved out of his seat to kneel down to Kendall.
Logan was too shocked to register what had just happened. What is James doing? Oh, no, no no no, please, God, please don't let it be—
"Kendall Knight, I have loved you since the day we met. You're my sun, my stars, my moon, my everything. I love you everything about you, from your stubbornness right down to your selflessness. Kendall, will you marry me?"
I guess it's too late, I'm dancing this dance alone. The chapter's done, the story goes on…
Kendall was truly surprised, to say the least. He didn't really want to marry James, all he wanted was to be with Logan. Logan, and is gorgeous, innocent chocolate brown eyes and soft, spiky hair he loved to run his hands through. Logan, and his adorable dorkiness and love for math. Logan and his beautiful crooked smile and sweet, sweet personality. But he couldn't be with him anymore. He couldn't be with who he wanted because of his god damned father, blackmailing him just because he didn't like Logan. He couldn't let his mother get hurt because of him. So, with tears in his eyes (of not joy, but of sorrow), he stood up, smiled his best fake smile that only Logan could see through, and whispered, "Yes," to James.
How could you hurt me now? And you've moved on to the next, I'm left with an imperfect smile.
The restaurant burst into applause, some people whooping, some people cheering. Carlos was clapping, too, happy for both Kendall and James, but he knew that this time he couldn't do anything for Logan. Logan couldn't do anything for himself either; bandages and stitches couldn't heal the wound this time.
Logan remembered one time, a long, long time ago, when he was four, his mother was trying to tell him something. They were on a vacation to Disney World then, and Logan was crying because he wasn't allowed to go on one of the kiddy rides, since he was too short. Logan's mother asked a passerby to take a picture of them, for memories, but Logan was so sad he didn't even smile.
*Flashback*
"Logan, please just smile for this one picture!" Mrs. Mitchell begged her son, exasperated. They were at vacation in Disney Land in the summer, and her son wasn't cooperating with her at all because he wasn't allowed on a ride. It didn't help her headache much. The photographer looked impatient. Mrs. Mitchell sighed and wiped the sweat off her forehead before downing her Diet Coke.
"No! Not until I getta go on the choo-choo train!" Four year old Logan pouted, pointing to the direction of the train with one stubby finger.
"Logan! Stop being so selfish and just smile," Mr. Mitchell scolded, looking crossly down at his son. Logan was scared of his father, since he yelled a lot when they were at home. One time, he even pulled out a kitchen knife on his mom, when they fought once. The four year old strained to smile, furrowing his eyebrows in reluctance.
"No, no, Logan, don't do that, either. Do you know what that is called? It's called a fake smile. When you're not happy, and you pretend to smile like that, it hurts people that love you even more than it does when you're just plain unhappy." Mrs. Mitchell explained, crouching down beside her son and stroking his hair.
"But I am unhappy! I wanna go on the choo-choo train!" Logan complained, and tears began to well up in his eyes. Logan's father looked uninterested, observing a flock of birds flying by from the sky.
"You know what would make you feel better?" Mrs. Mitchell smiled lovingly, and began to tickle her son. Logan squealed loudly, trying in vain to push his mother off of him, but with no avail. A few minutes later, he was laughing uncontrollably. "Mama! Stop!" He giggled, pushing Mrs. Mitchell's hands away. She smiled.
"Are you happy now?" Mrs. Mitchell asked, and Logan nodded enthusiastically.
The picture turned out fantastic, with Logan smiling so widely it was a wonder why his cheeks didn't rip apart.
*End Flashback*
Now, all Logan can do is fake-smile. So that's what he does, he forces himself to pull up the corners of his mouth and show everyone an imperfect smile, his imperfect smile with painted-on expressions and eyes filled with tears and, most of all, hurt.
Everyone's staring at him now, he's the only one still standing in his seat. So he closes his eyes for a second, forces all his tears away, and looks directly at Kendall.
"Congratulations," he whispers hoarsely, once again flashing his fake-smile, before bolting out the door and into the pouring rain.
If you believe you belong with him, promise me, you won't let anyone hurt you. Remember, I will always be here, even if it kills me to see you
Logan doesn't even know where he's going. And he doesn't care, either. He just goes where ever his body takes him. He has a sudden urge to make something explode, make something shatter, make something imperfect. Just like him. But he can't, just like he can't have Kendall.
The mixture of wind and rain is cold against his face, and his legs are beginning to get sore. Logan was never a fast runner. He remembered one time, when the boys were running a marathon together, Logan sprained his ankle halfway through. Kendall lifted him up bridal-style without any hesitation, and they crossed the finish line together.
Kendall. His mind always seemed to go back to that one subject. Suddenly, he can't take it anymore. He sits on the wet concrete sidewalk, hard. His bottom hurts from the impact, but it's nothing compared to the heavy weight on his chest. He throws his head up and screams, screams so loud, so high pitched, that his ears hurt. But he doesn't even give a shit, because it feels good. It felt good to have passerbys stare at him like he was a weirdo, to have animals scurry away at the sudden sound.
He was so stupid. So stupid, for thinking that Kendall would give him another chance. Stupid, for thinking that Kendall still loved him. Stupid, for spending all his college money on a ring for a man who probably could care less about him. Logan buries his face in his hands and sobs freely as more rain pounds down on his back, effectively soaking him.
Oh, he missed Kendall so much. He missed having someone always there for him, someone who knew him. Someone who didn't have to ask what kind of jelly to use on his sandwiches, or what kind of presents he wanted for his birthday. Someone who loved Logan Mitchell for who he really was: the short, dorky kid who loved to see people smile, and to make people happy.
Logan sobs harder. The rain pounds heavier down on him and the streetlights flicker threateningly. He sits there for what seems like hours, crying his heart out, a mixture of tears and rainwater flowing down from his bloodshot eyes.
When he finally gains composure, Logan stands up, and with the little light the streetlights give, tries to make out where he is. He sees the empty parking lots, oh, he's at the mall. The same place he bought the ring. His hand slips into his front pants pocket, and slowly pulls it out. He looks at it solemnly, and stares at the fingerprint marks from rubbing it out of nervousness earlier that day. And then, he fists the golden band tightly in his hand before throwing it as hard as he can across the parking lot. He hears the clatter a second later, but doesn't go to retrieve it.
Finally, he realizes how cold he actually is. His whole body is numb, and as he stares at his hand he notices it's shaking. His wet clothes feel like 100 pounds against him, and so does his heart. He sighs, before sticking his hand into a soaked pocket to pull out his cell phone. Hopefully, it's not broken. He presses the ON button with a thumb, and calls Carlos's number immediately. There's no one else in this planet earth that he would want to talk to now. He waits two rings, before his friend picks up.
"Hello?"
"C-Carlos?" Logan's voice is cracked from crying so long.
"Oh my God, Logan! Where are you? It's pouring outside, and you haven't been home in hours!"
"I'm at the mall."
"Okay, I'll come and pick you up. Which store are you in front of?"
Logan looks back behind him, and. Oh, my God, this can't be a coincidence. Because he's in front of a Starbucks. And not just any Starbucks, the one where Logan first met Kendall.
He met Kendall when he was twelve. It was raining, pouring actually, and Logan had been kicked out of his house by his father again. He had walked all the way to the nearest mall, trying to find his grandma's house, which was in a completely different city, and he knew it was hopeless. Eventually, he had given up, and squatted down beside a Starbucks (this very one) and waited for hours, hoping by now his father had forgiven him. Which was unlikely. He was soaked from the rain, and he was sure he was going to get hypothermia if he didn't find shelter soon. A few minutes later of waiting for the rain to stop, it did. The rain had stopped, but the pounding noise hadn't. Logan looked up, confused, only to find an umbrella above his head. He looked at the owner, which was a boy, with blonde hair and green eyes, about his age. He introduced himself as Kendall, and after a few minutes of explaining and talking, Kendall invited Logan to come stay at his house until his dad let him back in. Logan accepted gratefully, and after that they became the best of friends. Logan kept that memory dear to his heart, if it wasn't for Kendall that day then Logan probably would have been completely lost.
"Logan? Hello?" Carlos's voice breaks in his flashback, and he sounds worried.
"Oh, sorry. Uh, I'm in front of a S-Starbucks," he stutters out, choking back yet another sob. So many memories have come flooding back to his mind today. Memories about Kendall, memories that he'd used to treasure. Not anymore. Now, it just pains him to think of them again.
"Okay, I'm coming. Bye," Carlos says, and hangs up.
Logan doesn't even say goodbye, he just stands there with his phone still pressed to his ear as he starts to cry again. He cries until Carlos's car pulls up beside him, and his Latino friend is suddenly there beside him, hugging him gently and whispering comforting words. They stand like that for a while, they stand there together in the rain, holding each other until Logan quiets down.
Carlos helps Logan into the car, and he doesn't even mind if Logan's ruining his seats with his rain-soaked clothes. Because Logan's gone through way worse than soggy car seats. As he moves into his car, his foot steps on something. He looks down, raising his foot for a better view, and sees something glitter. It's too dark to see anything, but as Carlos closes his fist around the mysterious object, he immediately knows what it is—the ring Logan was going to give to Kendall. The Latino looks back at Logan, who's in the backseat, shivering wildly, before depositing the ring in his pocket and getting into the front seat.
Logan falls asleep halfway through the car ride, so Carlos picks the small brunette up bridal-style and carries him up to the apartment. He's surprised at how light Logan is, but shrugs it off.
When he arrives at the apartment, the first thing he sees is Kendall and James making out on the couch. They're making loud moaning sounds, and Carlos closes his eyes in disgust before silently slipping into his and Logan's room.
Once it's quiet, Carlos gently sets Logan on his bed, peeling off his wet clothes without hesitation. They've been friends for so long, it's almost normal to see one another naked. He dressed the sleeping Logan with warm clothes, before tucking the small boy in.
Carlos sighs heavily, plopping down on his own bed. It's been a long day, he thinks, looking at Logan's sleeping form. There're dried tears on his cheeks, and his eyes are puffy from crying. Just looking at his friend so helpless; it makes him want to cry right along with him. Carlos just wishes everything could be perfect. He just wants to see his friend's smiles every day, and never see them like how Logan is right now.
He'll be fine, Carlos assures himself as he drifts off into sleep. Time can heal everything.
YAY! There's Wedding Dress for you guys!
There's one more chapter coming up, and that's going to be the last chapter. :) Yep, this is a two-shot.
For my BTR & the Battle of Hogwarts readers….UPDATE COMING SOON! I promise…school's been really hard on me.
Oh, and I'd really love a review. :) It motivates me to write quicker. *hinthint* ;)