Drag me down the rabbit hole
By: The Real Chys Lattes
Shikamaru-centric time looping. 'I eternally wake up in the same place, safely covered under my softest blanket, flat on my back in bed, my eyes slowly sliding open of their own accord. It's right before the alarm clock sounds the start of every morning. Every morning on repeat at exactly six o'clock.'
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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or associated characters, just having fun with them. I'll put them back, I promise!
Author's Note: This is one of those fics that's complete as-is, unless I decide to add an additional chapter to it later. If I do so it will be on a whim, but will still be complete as-is. Honestly I've got no plans for anything long term with this, as it's just something that struck me as interesting to write one night.
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One day is just like another. After a while, I became accustomed to it. There's nothing really different to do as time goes by, so why should I fight it? One day is just like another; Because they are exactly the same.
I don't know what I did to deserve this hell. I try to make the most of it.
I recline on a hill with my head resting on the green grass and watch the puffy white clouds, at various times of the day, most days, this same day. I skip class just to do this, too. No one cares as it happens. I'm used to the fact I only ever see the same things in the deep blue sky above. There's a squid, off in the distance. His name is Bear, because it doesn't matter, and because as the wind blows that's what he inevitably ends up looking like, at exactly 2:45 PM.
That one far to the east is a tree, it's voluminous branches reach far out into the heavens around the village... until they disperse and fade into oblivion at exactly four o'clock. Then it looks like an ink brush which leaves a murky trail behind it.
Then there's that one odd cloud that's there all day- a rabbit, perpetually running into a rabbit hole, often dragging my dreams along behind it as I fall asleep. It always runs far into the sunset, beyond the stars, and into the next morning, if I let it. Well, I never actually see the next morning, even if I try to stay awake. I fade to unconsciousness at precisely five in the next morning, no matter which hill I am resting on, no matter what I was doing that day. That same, repetitive day. Everything resets.
I eternally wake up in the same place, safely covered under my softest blanket, flat on my back in bed, my eyes slowly sliding open of their own accord. It's right before the alarm clock sounds the start of every morning. Every morning on repeat at exactly six o'clock.
Breakfast is continuously the same. Mom's usual greeting of a pillow to my face is precisely on target every time, because I never move from the bed fast enough to turn the damn alarm off and alert her to my wakeful state. Why bother? It doesn't change anything if I manage to. My hotcakes are always a little burnt, because she takes too long fetching me to flip them. I eat them in silence, appreciative of the fact that she cooked them at all, every single day.
It's been this way for years, it feels like. I've honestly lost count of the days.
That is, until 'yesterday,' when something unexplainable happened: I woke up in a different place. I was not in my bed, but this time, I was in the training grounds where I had fallen asleep. It was literally tomorrow, finally!
I don't know what triggered it, and I don't understand why, but I am determined to get to the bottom of it. (Plus, mom's going to be pissed I didn't come home last night. Troublesome. I actually want to hear the lecture I'm going to get, and am anticipating it greatly.)
Today is, after all, a new day. I'm determined to make it count. It's everything new from this moment forward. It's like time is just starting for me.
I begin to walk to school, because home is a pipe dream at this hour. If I try to go home, I'll be late for school and in for a scolding. If I go straight to school, then I take the exam, which I've been studying for since school started. The genin exam. I know I'm more than ready, at this point. I've read every book accessible to academy students in the libraries, the schools, the book stores, and in several houses that were left unlocked during the day, through my endless looping cycles. I've read everything I could get my hands on. I've never managed to sneak into the guarded archives though, anything for genin rank and up is beyond my reach at this point. Probably far beyond ready, for an accurate assessment.
So instead of heading home, I head to school. I can always get lectured later, and I'd willingly welcome it, considering the hell I've been locked in. Anything other than the usual repeated conversations would be a blessing.
I go over the events of the last day I existed as I wander towards the school building, hands in my pockets, lazily yawning. The last day I lived has been repeating itself since I can remember, so the last day I existed was my 'yesterday'. So yesterday I did the normal morning routine, nothing out of the ordinary.
Wake up, clock assaults my ears, pillow assaults my face, burnt pancakes, greet dad as he comes down stairs for breakfast, grab my bento and my half-complete homework which I never do anymore (to the ever present frowns from my mother), then feed the deer and leave for school.
My day is always predictable, if I don't skip school: I greet Chouji Akimichi, my best friend. He shares his chips with me, (they're always salty). We sit for the lectures (I sleep, or ignore them), perform the morning exercises (good for waking up), practice the shuriken throwing (I never miss anymore, to the applause of my instructors), then head to lunch. I eat my lunch. (Boiled Eggs in salad with tomatoes, sweetly spiced chicken and rice. The rice is under-cooked, so I usually don't finish it.)
More lectures to round out the day, followed by ninjutsu practice of the academy three- the bushin, kawarimi, and henge jutsus, then we're sent home with homework, which I always toss in the bin on the way out. Well, the boys are sent home, but most go out to the training fields to practice something they want to improve on, or just mess around playing ninja.
Girls head off to the east side academy fields for mandatory kunoichi classes. I've snuck into these training sessions a few times, to the high-pitched giggles of the girls and raised brows from the teachers. Why not? I was bored. I often ignore them and pick a place in the flower field to listen to the instructor lecture on the properties of the plants they would be gathering that day, and what messages they pass on when assembled in certain colored vases. She rattles on and on about this while the girls make flower crowns. I always watch the clouds, and see a clear view of the rabbit running into his den in the sky, every time. I've yet to avoid waking up wearing an elaborate crown of flowers when I choose to go there for a nap. (They were only the toxic kind once, when I chose to use some petty girl named Ami's bag as a pillow. At least the skin rash was temporary by default, gone the 'next day'.)
'Yesterday' was actually a training ground day with the boys instead, so I had been in the west side academy yard which is just outside the school building. Even though it was situated right next to a busy park walkway, it was still where the boys practice their stealth and tracking skills in their free time. (Also known as: we were just playing hide-and-seek after class.) Chouji plays too, because everyone tends to think he'll be an easy one to catch. They don't notice him until later, since he's actually skilled at hiding. He finds a rather clever place to hide, using people's assumptions against them. He makes his home in the circle of some berry bushes, but since they were the poisonous kind, everyone had long ago been cautioned not to go near them. They weren't told that they were only toxic if ingested, so people tended to think they couldn't touch the berry bush's leaves either. It was their fault for not paying attention, really.
I'd been in my usual place, perched atop the horizontal branches of a tall tree, where I'd every day look out the classroom window to see a jounin sitting during class, reading what looks to be a crude book. It's a rather comfortable place to sit, and most people tend to walk along below and just not see you there, in the blind spot behind the tree's multiple, thick limbs. Every time I'd chosen that spot for hide-and-seek, no matter the changes I made each time, no one had found me.
'Yesterday' I fell asleep in the genin training fields on the outskirts of the village, after the game ends and long after Chouji's dad comes to collect him. I wander out there instead of going home, hoping to see something different in the sky for once. It's just the silly rabbit, once more. No one comes looking for me, per usual. My dad is always busy, being the Jounin Commander. I always walk home on my own, now that I'm older. There's nothing wrong with that, in my opinion. I enjoy the freedom it gives me.
Things are rather predictable, like that. That's how my day had gone. I'd done it so often I couldn't honestly remember if anything was out of place. Something was, though. But what?
What could have possibly been different, like did I say or do something out of the usual? I don't really remember. I wasn't actively paying attention to try to break the never-ending cycle. I'd honestly given up on that a while back. I thought I'd tried every combination of words and actions under the sun, stars, and moon already. I'd even died once, accidentally. I'd played with an exploding tag I'd stolen from a genin's apartment, thinking it would be good to learn to use them. I figured out how not to use them. Learned the hard and painful way that dying just wasn't an option. I always wake up again, at home, at six AM on the dot.
Something had changed. I muse over the possibility that something might have had nothing to do with me as I pass through the market district, heading towards the school building. I'm not stupid enough to assume the world revolves around me, just because it's my life in an ever continuous spiral of doom.
Was someone else responsible for breaking the time-loop? Who? How? I couldn't figure out what could have done it and who I could have interacted with that might have made such a drastic change, if it were in fact my doing.
A vendor nearby barks out that he has new wares in from the Land of Ogres, offering a discount on his new inventory. He never said that 'yesterday'. It's so odd, to see the people around me behaving different from their ingrained, usual pattern. But no, that's not how the world really works, as something new and different should be happening every single day. New things are happening, again. It's been a long time since time itself was linear.
The vendor smiles at me as I walk by, my jaw barely hanging open, "You like tea? I'll sell some to you cheap!"
"Sure." I say without thinking, "You know, I'll get back to you another time," I promise him. A new flavor of tea does sound enticing, after the same thing over and over, but my money is at home next to my alarm clock. The scent of orange and spices hits my nose, vibrant and new to my senses, and my mouth waters. I will definitely be coming back to get some of that tea sometime.
"Any time soon, they'll be sold out! Get them today!" he smiles again before turning to bark his wares into the crowd in another direction.
I nod, "Right." He isn't even looking. I doubt he'd put some aside for me.
But today is the day of the genin exam. It was finally 'tomorrow'. I hurry my pace to get to the academy gate in time as it opens. Anxiety strikes me like a rock as the unnamed chunin swings the gate open to admit the waiting students for their life defining test. The rest of the school's functions are closed on exam days, all the other students sent home for the week. It's just the genin hopefuls gathered here today. A beating in my chest pounds so rapidly I swear they must hear it's throbbing from Iwa's border. Not a single person pays me any mind as I approach the school building, loose gravel crunching under my sandal clad heels, a heavy weight piling on my shoulders with each echoing step. My hands are moist, a bead of sweat trickles down my back even though it's not hot out. It sounds like drumming in my ears, drowning out my footfalls. This can't be healthy.
What if I fail, and have to do this day over repeatedly too? What if it slingshots me back to yesterday, a cruel and vicious joke? What if I'm stuck repeating every day nonsensically for years on end before the next one comes along? What if it's become two days looping at a time, and is just a longer cycle from now on? How did it happen?
My stomach hurts, twisting into knots as I wonder if I'm overreacting? Hallucinating? Like a mirage on the horizon, I glance about at the absurdly normal scene of children walking into the school building at a sedate pace and wonder if it's even real. I feel like I can't get a full breath of air, it's hard to focus. If this keeps up, I think I'll puke.
I'm back to thinking it's a genjutsu again. I actually cast the release jutsu just to try and check, not that it has ever done me any good. Nothing happens. I stand there in the entryway, casting release repeatedly, probably looking like a damn fool... Yeah, I'm getting a few odd stares from students passing me by the entire time I'm casting the jutsu. Whatever. I'm an academy student. I could be practicing for all they know. Wait, they haven't taught this one yet, as it's not one of the academy three... I learned it from a scroll I found in that one genin's unlocked apartment... oh well. I'm known to be too smart for my own good, on occasion. We'll just chalk this up to that. The amusing thought actually helps to settle my stomach, a bit. At least the pounding has faded to a manageable level. Reminding myself of that irresponsible genin I stole the exploding note from, I remember this feeling doesn't even compare to blowing myself to pieces. Gruesome, but true. That has an oddly calming effect.
I step into the school building and head for the designated room, which is not our usual classroom but rather a larger one for mass testing. We're supposed to turn in our very last homework this morning, but I recall tossing it on the way out of school 'yesterday' while thinking it would never matter. Umino Iruka, the teacher for my class, is not pleased when I don't have one to hand in. "It's not going to influence our test grade, right?"
Iruka sighs, "No, but it can influence team placement, when you get poor accumulative grades for NOT TURNING THE HOMEWORK IN!" he had to yell the last part for everyone to hear.
"Sheesh." A classmate Inuzuka Kiba's dog growls from across the room in agreement with his master's comment.
I get smacked over the head with the pile of papers in his hands, "Take your seat, Shikamaru!"
"Fine, fine. What a drag." I find a seat in the back row next to Chouji. He gives me a sympathetic smile and turns back to his desk, fiddling with a pencil that had been provided. There's a prominent frown line worrying his brow. I decide to try to cheer him up and say, "Just do your best, you know how. I'll be easy. It's just like repeating every test we've taken so far, right? Like a review. Otherwise, they wouldn't have been testing us on those things to being with."
"Yeah, that makes sense!" Chouji smiles brightly, enthused now. My heart hasn't stopped racing, but seeing him happy makes me think it will be fine, for some odd reason. It's almost soothing, until the test paper unceremoniously plops down in front of my face thanks to a smiling Iruka, and a cold dread fills my chest. It's a ridiculously uncomfortable feeling.
I hold my breath, turn it over to begin... and let the air out in a gusting whoosh when I get a good look at the questions. What was I even expecting? With my brows creased in what I'm sure will give me my own more permanent frown lines, I touch pencil to paper to start answering the test questions.
...That takes about ten minutes. Ok, this is anti-climactic. These questions are too easy. What's the catch? I end up turning the paper over once more just to check that I didn't miss any in my first once-over. They are all complete.
I glance about the room, wondering what is up, and realize even the top of the class student- one Sasuke Uchiha- is still only a third of the way through his paper, writing furiously. The blond kid a row ahead of me whose name is Uzumaki Naruto, who often skipped classes before the loops began, isn't even that far through yet. I sigh, realizing just how far ahead of the others I've gotten in my infinite looping. It was even more disheartening to know I was ahead of them to begin with, before the very first cycle.
I sit back and wait as someone breaks their pencil and moans in despair. My head has cleared at least, to the point there's no more pulse in my ears. That's a relief. I close my eyes and relax. I'm probably going to pay for it with a migraine before the day ends.
The teacher calls a halt, an infinity later, and collects the completed papers. Mizuki, the assistant teacher, stares me down with narrowed eyes the entire time. "Finished fast, kid? Impressive."
"Yeah, well, make your tests harder, then." I stretch my arms over my head as I counter his approving tone with a bored and dry one, my shoulders pop.
This only makes him laugh as he collects the rest of the papers. My classmates are glaring at me. I glare right back and they turn back around. The only one not glaring aside from Chouji is the Uchiha, and he doesn't seem to see anyone else in the room while staring out the window pensively.
A crowd of girls started forming on the other side of the room, whispering about how they think they did so far. The teacher announces the next part of the test, calling us all outside. The crowd floats out like a cloud, which I'd rather be watching on any other day. For some reason, I don't feel that way today. I'd take this over cloud watching repeatedly, just for the newness it provides. I perk up when I realize today will have new clouds... but I can't watch them right now!
They bring us out to the training posts; Time to prove we can hit a bullseye repeatedly. Real fun. They call us according to our last names, so when it's finally my turn most of the others are done with their assessments. "Nara!" They call. I grab my kunais from their pouch and let them fly, not moving from my place at the back of the queue. I actually throw around the milling girls, making some of them scream.
I nail it, right on the bullseyes, with all the targets provided for the test. I'm optimistic that I make it look easy, and I throw them in rapid succession more quickly than I ever had before. I assume I passed, if the approving nods I get from the teachers are anything to care about, but of course the girls only twitter about Sasuke when he hits the targets on his own turn. Figures they'd send me death glares instead.
He didn't have to show off by throwing them all simultaneously, the little shit. That doesn't get him extra points, as far as I know.
Wait, it doesn't does it? Too late, anyway.
Man, I used to not care about passing this test, thinking it was going to be a given. Now I've been nothing but anxious nerves and praying I don't mess it up. How things change, when there's so much uncertainty about how the world works. I still don't know if anything I'm doing here even matters, or makes a difference. How can I know I'll see tomorrow?
I guess no one does, at the start of the day.
They send us in to take the final part of the exam, the practical ninjutsu assessments. They ask me to make a clone. Not hard, at all. I could do it in my sleep by now.
I cast the jutsu, forming the hand signs quickly, and let my chakra do the rest. It flows through me effortlessly, like exhaling. It's basically subconscious by now, the result of memorization. The proctors give their nods of approval, once again, as another image of me forms in the air beside me. It smirks at them, and I can feel the same smug smile tug at my lips as it mirrors my expression.
I pass easily. When they tell me not to go back to the hall where the other students were waiting, I head outside with my headband as I tie it on my arm. Surprisingly, my dad is outside, waiting by the gate. He gives me his own smirk through his scars at the sight of my new hitai-ate, and walks me home. Time to show off to mom and let her gush over me.
Since I hadn't gone home today and didn't have a lunch, I'd missed two meals. By the time we arrive at home, my stomach had already complained, loudly, for all the world to hear its grievances multiple times. I scare the deer on the way in, with the abrupt noise it makes. Dad chuckles at me, but I don't care. I enjoy every moment of it.
Mom's cheerful welcome as I step into the house involves first a scolding for staying out all night, then a worried hug as her arms wrap around me protectively. Then the realization I'm a genin already when she feels the hitai-ate on my arm has her squealing in delight. Mom follows this up with a smack to the temple for worrying her, so in the end everything goes fine. Surprisingly, and I haven't been surprised in forever aside from today, there is no actual lecture. It's something of a let down, in all fairness.
I've never eaten anything more divine in my horrifically long, short life, than this simple dinner tonight. It's something different from the usual, and that makes it all the more precious. Beef and broccoli never tasted as good as this. I wonder if it's just the seasonings, or my own soul making it so savory.
A piercing sound invades the room after dinner. Shocked, I stare at my parents in surprise. Dad nods to mom, then gives me a stern look followed by another slow, accepting nod. He stands then shuffles out the door, barely getting his shoes on in time for an ANBU to greet him outside. The village-wide alarm goes off, but anyone below jounin rank is supposed to stay indoors. Mom nervously gathers her chunin gear just in case. A while later, it calls for an all clear and I help her to pack her gear back to her room. I never know what the alarm was about. When dad gets home, he doesn't say.
I actually forget to watch the clouds today, there's too much going on around me for me to even care. I can watch this new set of cloud patterns the next time 'today' rolls around, can't I? I'm resigned to the fact it will.
The sunset is ominous but beautiful, with streaks of pink and red and orange and colors I haven't seen in the sky in far, far too long. I watch the colors fade outside my window as I dress for the night. No sunset is ever the same, I'd once heard. I'd revisited the same identical sunset for forever and a day. This one was unique. I would get used to it eventually.
I can't sleep. I sit awake in my room, waiting for five in the morning to appear and throw me back to the perpetual hell that is my looping life.
The clock strikes four, and my eyes begin to water. I'm not crying, I'm just trying to stay awake. I exhale slowly, shuddering.
At four-thirty I rest my head on the pillow, to wait for the inevitable end. Since I enjoyed it while it lasted, I chuckle to myself, wondering how I'll change my next 'today' to make it a bit different... or maybe I'll keep it exactly the same this time too? It is brand new, after all.
At five on the dot, I wait still, my breath clenched tight in my chest as I watch the face of the clock glow in the dark as what little time I know I have left slips away, with each successive tick.
...Tick.
...Tick.
...Tick.
...Tick.
The hand moves to five-oh-one. Nothing happens. If the day had reset, would I have found myself in the training grounds again? I'm positive that would be so.
I let out my breath then gasp in another, the angry pain cross my ribs finally abating. My gasp sounds like a sob to my ringing ears.
"I'm an idiot." I breathlessly say to my ceiling. It seems to have no opinion on that matter. I roll over, instantly asleep.
I wake only a few hours later, late for my team assignments because I slept in past my six o'clock alarm, only to discover an alluring plate of toast and eggs laid out for my breakfast which eat up my time as I devour it slowly. Dad has already headed off to work. Mom had left the food for me while she went out to feed the deer this morning. I'm thrilled. I'm in love. I'm loving this new day, as it's a gift like no other, even the one before. This time I remember to grab my money as I slip on my new hitai-ate, so I can buy some of that wonderful, fragrant tea the man in the marketplace endorsed. Mom would love it too, I'm sure.
Today I'm going to learn who my teammates are. I'm pretty certain I know the answer, even without guessing. My clan has traditions and some things stay the same, always.
It's as I finish up with my food that I realize what it was that had bothered me before about the day that broke the looping. As I leave the plate in the sink, I glance up and notice the leaves swaying in the wind, through the window before me. I have a sudden sensation of wrongness, looking straight out the window at the horizontal tree branches in the distance. That thing I couldn't pin point, or just couldn't remember? It was at the tip of my tongue, the verge of my memories, and I can't believe I didn't notice it sooner. It should have stood out, because it was a part of the tedious repetition that looping day had always presented:
The jounin with the smutty book hadn't been in the tree.
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