Chapter One

Green Eyed Kyle

"He's a fucking liar! Don't believe the hype!" Kyle bellowed out at the living room T.V. He glared at the weekend soap opera while shoveling spoons full of birthday cake ice cream into his mouth. He scratched the mess of red hair on his head and, in a moment of annoyance, pulled it back into a ponytail. He didn't care how gay it made him look, his hair was in his way. "Fucking liar," Kyle mumbled to himself angrily. The show went on commercial, putting his little melodrama on hold. He grabbed his phone, still muttering curse words about the trifling character, and saw he had a few notifications from Facebook so he needed to check them out. Kyle doesn't like to not check social media since he's such a "socialite" (says the boy who didn't leave the house for the entire weekend and had barely talked to anyone).

A few friend requests from creeps he didn't know, a lot of tagged pictures of him whether at school or an outing with someone, and a message from Kenny. The red head rolled his green eyes. He bet it was something stupid and irrelevant and ignored it, then threw the phone back down on the couch. The drama cut back on showing what had happened previously. Kyle took his spoon and began devouring the I've cream once again while completely concentrated on the show. About seven minutes in he hit the bottom of his ice cream bucket.

"Ugh," he exhaled annoyed. Now, he had to get up, walk to the kitchen, and get another container. He thought he made it clear this was a "lazy" Sunday and wasn't expecting to be leaving the couch for another five hours. Kyle lugged himself up and stomped off to the quant and colorful kitchen. He stuck his face into the modern freezer that seemed to be out of place in the old fashioned kitchen room. Regardless, he enjoyed the brisk air that cooled his sweat. It was fall and still nice and warm outside plus his dad refused to turn the A/C on so it was safe to say he was sweltering in his little get up.

"Dressed in baggy sweats, a stained over sized t-shirt that most likely belongs to Stan, popping your pimples, and getting fat...how nice it is to be a person who doesn't care about their appearance," Ike commented leaning against the counter. He was now twelve years old and quite the looker with his big round eyes and charming Canadian smile. Oh, how that smiled just pissed Kyle off at this very moment and made him wanna smack it right off his face.

"Shut it, I have type 1 diabetes I need this sugar in my life!" Kyle snapped getting a bucket of cookie dough ice cream and shut the door with his foot. "-And I didn't even pop any of my pimples, that's gross!" Ike gave him a condescending stare with his eyebrows raised. He pulled out his phone and showed off the bit of evidence he took, in secret, earlier. "Whatever! What do you want?" Kyle snarled.

"I want to watch T.V. my show is going to come on," Ike replied. In the Broflovski household there is only one T.V. so they're all forced to share. Kyle debated even though he wanted to spend the rest of the evening like a couch potato, he had already seen those episodes. However, Ike's smile said something like "you'll give me the T.V. or else I'll spread these gross pics of you onto the internet". It just made Kyle wanna beat the shit out of him and block the channel his show comes on to teach him a lesson on black mailing. Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut while sighing he decided to let it go and give Ike what he wants.

Like always.

"Fine." Kyle rolled his eyes again and Ike smirked thinking Kyle was such a push over. He took his phone and his ice cream container up to his room. Once he had shut his door and turned on his laptop, he immediately logged into Tumblr. He played some McDreidel in the background to soothe his nerves. He was suppose to have a sleepover at Stan's house but the ebony haired teen bailed on him with Wendy. He still remembers the goofy offer Stan gave him.

"You can still come over later, if ya want."

"You can still come over later, if ya want," Kyle mocked in a shrill voice. "Fuck that." Kyle spat bitterly. As if he would be the second choice to Wendy. Don't get him wrong, everyone knows there's nothing is wrong with "little miss perfect". At all. It's him who's the mess up one, in fact he should be honored to be second choice to Wendy but, his pride would not allow it. He figured looking at fanart and cat pictures just weren't doing it for him, so he logged into Facebook and checked his NewsFeed. He thought maybe someone had something going on to distract himself from the pissy mood he's been in all weekend. He just needed to get off his lazy ass and do something. To be frank, he really need a shower and a proper meal. He has been living as a hobo in his own house since Friday!

"Nothing new really...just Cartman taking stupid swag fag selfies...Clyde and Bebe showing off fucking couple pictures...NO ONE GIVES A SHIT...like news flash: you're fugly!" Kyle yelled even though he didn't really mean it. They were a hot (would-be-hoping-to-be) couple: captain of the cheerleading team, Bebe, and the football team's center, Clyde, were South Park's second "It-couple" (The first, of course, being Stan and Wendy). Even though they weren't official it was still cute to see the two, whom so obviously have huge crushes on each other, together.

Kyle went to his home page and saw the picture of him and Stan making snow angles in the snow with Cartman making obscene hand gestures at the cameraman, Kenny. He grumbled lowly to himself. Opening the ice cream box and taking another spoonful of cookie dough he turned up his music. The song that was playing was hardcore and angry, setting the mood perfectly. Ike wouldn't dare bother his older brother at the moment unless, he'd like to play kick the baby once again. Next, Kyle checked Wendy's page. He saw she didn't even have Stan in her cover photo. Kyle clicked his tongue. In a way, he felt like he won. Since he had a picture of Stan he felt that he innately cares about Stan more so he should be the one that Stan is spending his time with. Not her.

"Though...it's not like I'm jealous..." Kyle spoke aloud in a tone that seemed like he was trying to convince himself. Even though they don't really fit well, their relationship is shit, they're constantly on and off again, and even when they're together they rarely spend time together! So it's not like Kyle hates it he just feels that they're not so good for each other. If anyone is good for Stan, it would have to be Kyle. They're the best of friends and even when they've had their fall outs they tend to miss each other so much they get back together immediately. With Wendy it takes weeks and they only get together because they feel they have to. So you can see why it's a problem...right? Kyle sighed and rubbed his head fingering his soft curls. What was he doing sitting around like a girl who just got dumped? He could party and have fun and hang out...he just chose not to. I mean, have you ever had Oreo cheese cake? If you did you'd be sitting inside pigging out all day as well. Just then, something on Wendy's page caught Kyle's attention.

Relationship Status: Single

Kyle sighed again. "Here it goes once again," Kyle pulled at his tangled locks and grabbed his phone that was lying on his bed. Right on cue, a message from Stan alerted his phone. For the first time since Friday, Kyle smiled. "Here he comes...crawling right back to me," an unsettling giggle escaped as he flung himself onto his bed. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but something about Wendy and Stan breaking up and Kyle being the first, and only, one Stan runs to makes Kyle feel indescribable. It's a giddy, happy feeling one accompanied by deep despairing guilt. He knew he shouldn't feel like this, oh he knew, but he just couldn't stop it. Kyle stopped his inner turmoil to deal with his friend's external conflict. He opens his snapchat and the first thing he sees is Stan's "manly" tears and a message that said:

"Wendy broke up with me :("

"Why?"

Kyle sent one back his face was twisted in a shit eating grin. He knew why Wendy broke up with him but he wouldn't let Stan know that. So he settled with a pouty, comprehensive frown to be nicer.

"I tol her a joke n she got offended"

Another picture with Stan's sad face. He seemed to be home right now as Kyle could see his posters in the back of the picture.

"Wats the joke?"

Kyle's face was a bit curious with one eye brow raised.

"God gave women yeast infections so that they would know what it was like living with an irritating cunt for once."

Kyle laughed. He laughed, hard. Oh man did he miss that offensive humor. It was such an unfunny joke yet the face he made in each picture made Kyle wanna punch him so bad the red head had to laughed.

"She doesn't get your humor the way I do"

Kyle's smile was sweet and genuine something he definitely hasn't done since Friday.

"Sorry I ditched you"

Stan was giving his old and trusty puppy dog face. A face so charming and goofy but quite attractive(?) you just couldn't say no. Kyle sucked at his teeth, he couldn't believe the bastard was using that old trick on him. Usually Kyle was immune to the quivering lip but today he was just so sensitive."This mother fuck-"

"It's fine. See ya 2moro"

Kyle sent a picture of him with three chins, his nose pulled up (like a piggy) by his middle finger and his eyes crossed.

"See ya"

Stan sent his picture back with five chins, his nose flared, his tongue sticking out, and his eyes wide as hell. Kyle thought he would bust a gut. It's great having a best friend to send ugly selfies to.

"Love you ;)"

Stan sent a thumbs up and signaled by resting his head in his folded hands that he was going to bed. Kyle smiled and sent back a quick "Love you too", completed with a kissy face, before exiting out of snap chat.

Another notification came from Kyle's computer. It seemed Kenny was really insistent for Kyle to come talk to him. Kyle rolled his eyes and walked to his laptop- not because of Kenny but because his ice cream was still over there- and settled down in his desk chair.

"Wait."

Was it normal for two dudes, whose both claim to be straight, to say "I love you" to each other? Kyle's eyes were wide and his head spun and raked for any possible answer his brain could come up with. Why do they do that? Why was he questioning it now? I mean they've been doing it since they were kids but why was it different now then before? Maybe Kyle just missed him...yeah...that must be it.

The pale skinny Jew shook those confusing thoughts out of his head, he didn't need to think of this at the moment. It's not like its a new thing they've always said "I love you" platonically but his heart couldn't forget the fuzzy tipsy high it gets when he hears those words from Stan's lips. Another "ding" from Facebook brought him out if his short stupor and Kyle decided to finally quiet his crying computer. He clicked on Kenny's name and looked at the messages that we're sent.

KennyBadInfluenceMcCormick: Yo!

KennyBadInfluenceMcCormick: I said hay!

KennyBadInfluenceMcCormick: Kyle, don't ignore me!

KennyBadInfluenceMcCormick: Kaaaahlllll Cartman came over to bother me...make his fat ass go away!

KennyBadInfluenceMcCormick: Kyle? Cartman left did you make him go? Thank you! Thank you! He ate all my cheesy puffs! ;3; That fat fuck was getting on my last nerves!

Kyle sighed. "No, Kenny, you're getting on my last nerves!"

KyleBROflovski: Dude didn't I tell you not to bother me this weekend!

KennyBadInfluenceMcCormick: Stop being all pissed off at Stan he needs to spend time with his girlfriend.

KennyBadInfluenceMcCormick: I mean he already spends time with you so much you might as we'll be his girlfriend.

Kyle rolled his eyes he would not allow his face heat up at such a comment. There was a snowballs chance in hell he loved his best friend and even less of a chance Stan loved him back. Yeah, that's fucking never gonna happen.

KyleBROflovski: don't make up such slanderous allegations McCormick. My dad's a lawyer. I'll sue!

KennyBadInfluenceMcCormick: Well you do that ;0

KennyBadInfluenceMcCormick: anyway I just wanted to check on you and make sure you were doing ok...

KyleBROflovski: ...Kenny...

KennyBadInfluenceMcCormick: wat?

KyleBROflovski: is it normal for best friends to say I love u to each other?

KennyBadInfluenceMcCormick: OMG YOU AND STAN LOVE EACH OTHER!

Kyle's eyes widened. Oh he was so stupid why would he ask Kenny of all people for this type of advice!? Kyle's face heated up and his head automatically shook violently. There was no way, no way that could ever happen! Stan has a girlfriend Kyle is just his super best friend nothing else to it. Falling in love with each other would...it would ruin everything they built up for the past 17 years!

KyleBROflovski: Kenny, I don't love Stan in that way I just you know...have love for him...so I guess that's normal right?

KennyBadInfluenceMcCormick: YOU TWO WANNA FUCK EACH OTHER'S BRAINS OUT

KyleBROflovski: Kenny NO

KennyBadInfluenceMcCormick: "OH STAN~ YES YOUR EIGHT INCHES OF MANLY STANLY FEELS SOOOOO GOOD!" Said the tiny cute and fragile uke with sparkling yaoi eyes and doki dokis.

"YES KYLE YOUR TIGHT BUTT FEELS GREAT TOO!" Said the manly seme with huge yaoi hands and larger shoulders.

(I can be a fanfiction writer! :D)

KyleBROflovski: nO STAHP (wtf is fanfiction?)

KennyBadInfluenceMcCormick: FACE IT YOU WANNA BE MRS. MARSH SO FUCKING BAD!

(I'll show you later)

Kyle's face couldn't get any more red than it was at that. He was trying so hard to deny but some part in his heart said that all of what Kenny was saying was true.

KyleBROflovski: stop it Kenny...just please just...stop we r not in love...I just ya know...have love for him...or something like that

KennyBadInfluenceMcCormick: *sighsdramatically* well if you say so...I'm sorry...but it's not normal at least in the way you guys do it.

KyleBROflovski: Ok...I need to take a shower so bye

KennyBadInfluenceMcCormick: Nite...think of me ;3

KyleBROflovski: No.

And with that the red head logged off and shut down his laptop. He got up and stretched then threw away the empty box of, what once was, ice cream and started his shower.

The dirty blonde sat back on his bed. His phone buzzed and while he checked it he saw it was Stan. He unlocked it and went to check the message.

8inch (Stan): dude is it ok if you tell your best friend you love him?

Kenny groaned. Really, he just couldn't wait till these two dumb fucks would get a clue and just get together already. They were perfect for each other everyone knew that!

Everyone but them of course.

Author's Rambles: Eeep! I hope you dont hate it...it's the usual High school Au I know I should get more creative but it's my favorite AU and the one where I have the most headcanons...I really love this pairing and I hope others will like it as well ((if only I could start writing them differently then...)) But that's for another story ((literally)) for now just take the same ol' same ol' Also sorry it's short they'll get longer as I continue so yea look forward!

((Review and follow! Posting once a week!))