"WAUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHohmyglobmahhairAAAAUUUGGGGH"

*plonk*

LSP landed hard, and then bounced back up again to regain her normal hovering stance.

Glancing around, she said, "Aw NO. What the heck was thatttt? Finn?! FINNN?! COME AND SAVE ME. SOMEBODY? ANYBODY?"

Looking up, she watched as the portal she fell through seal itself tight. She crossed her tiny arms over each other and mumbled, "Stupid frog sent me through the wrong portal again! I'M GONNA KILL HIM. Last time he did that, some idiot kept asking me…Are you Six? ARE YOU SIX? Are you six lieutenant? And I'm like way older than six, so DUH I said yes. AND THEN HE MADE ME JUMP OUT OF A FREAKIN PLANE, SHOOT PEOPLE AND EAT SALT CRACKERS. I MEAN, WHO THE GLOB EATS SALT CRACKERS?!"

She clenched her fists tight, and squinted her eyes. "What? What does it all mean?" she muttered in agony.

A sudden commotion to her left jarred her out of her thoughts. The sound of voices came closer and closer until she could make out the words.

"Uhm, Rarity, I think we may have taken the wrong turn….again…"

"Nonsense Twilight! I know exactly where we're going. Canterlot is right up this hill…woop, I meant the next hill. Ehehe…"

LSP floated toward the voices, trying to find the source.

"FINN? JAKE? IS THAT YOU GUYS? Why do you guys sound so weird?" she wondered aloud .

Suddenly, a small butterfly landed on LSP's arm. Her eyes grew huge and her mouth swelled up in anger.

"GETCHYOUR HANDS OFF ME CHAD AGGHHH, I'M NOT INTRESTED, OH MAH GLOB LEGGO OF ME, AGHHHH I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

Her voice continued to rise to a hysterical shrieking. She grabbed the butterfly with unnatural speed, and proceeded to rip its wings apart.

"DIE YOU UGLY BEAST, YOU'LL NEVER BE AS FABULOUS AS ME NEVERRRR!" she roared as she pummeled the mangled remains of the butterfly into the ground. When it was no longer recognizable, she paused to breathe.

"Oh my…Twilight….what is that?" came a voice from behind.

LSP slowly turned around, and was greeted by the sight of two strange looking creatures.

She squinted at them with her beady eyes. "Uh excuse me? Why do you look like Ranicorn? But like shorter…and uglier," she said nonchalantly while raising her eyebrows.

Rarity stepped forward with a murderous gaze in her eyes. "Oh my, Twilight she just called us…ugly? I'm sorry, but I am going to have to ki-"

Twilight zipped in front of her and finished her sentence, "KINDLY ask as to what you are?" she finished smoothly.

LSP rolled her eyes and guffawed. She opened her mouth as if to smile and said, "Like you don't know who I am? Lumpy Space Princess, ruler of Lumpy Space and of the heart of men. Puh-Leeze," she chuckled.

Twilight and Rarity glanced at each other worriedly.

"She's crazy," Rarity whispered.

"Crazy beautiful you mean," LSP chimed in.

Twilight flipped her bangs in frustration at LSP's marvelously good hearing. It was this flip of hair….that sealed her fate.

The sun shone upon Twilight Sparkle's now exposed crown in such a majestic manner, that LSP lost herself in it. Her soul yearned with greed and lust to have it, for it would match her body in the most mystical and splendid ways. Her fluffy heart beat faster, and deep down, she knew that if she wore this crown, she would win over Finn. Yes...and Princess Bubblegum would worship her fabulousness...she would become the true ruler...of the Candy Kingdom.

Twilight noticed LSP's sudden change in demeanor, her enlarging pupils and drool.

"Umm, what are you loo-" she was interrupted by LSP'S unexpected charge.

With a cry like a bloodthirsty demon, she launched herself at Twilight and grabbed the crown.

"GIVE IT TO ME NOW, I SAW IT FIRST, IT'S MINE NOW!" she bellowed as she attempted to yank the crown of Twilight's head. However, Twilight had recently finished testing a successful 24 hour glue spell on her crown, and so did the only thing she thought was appropriate at the time. She panicked.

"AHHHHH, GET OFF YOU CRAZY CLOUD, RARITY HELP ME!" she shrieked as she bucked and reared, trying to remove the crazed monster that clung to her head.

Rarity stood frozen in shock, terrified at what…or who the beast might target next. Scraping up her courage, she pointed her horn at the purple mass that was fixed to Twilight's head. As she fired a quick spell, she realized something. ALL of Twilight was purple. She watched as her spell hit the running trio full on, and then gasped when Twilight and the creature collapsed on the ground. She rushed over and tried to pull the thing that was stuck to Twilight's head, but it wouldn't budge.

"Oh dear…" she mumbled.