Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, If I did I wouldn't be writing fandom of it now would I?
The sound of pencil scratching against paper can be best paired with the soft scent of lavender. This can sometimes even be accompanied with the strong feeling of regret, memories one wishes could be washed away but the pain will always continue to fill blank pages, as if one is possessed.
A few sighs or murmurs of apologies tend to whisper into the still air on this type of night. Maybe in hopes that those whispers might make it to the intended ears for forgiveness. There is always two sides to every story, only one tends to be easiest to swallow. People's greed for ignorant bliss usually gravitating them to the direction of the one they'd rather shoulder the burden of, no matter how foul the lies are that roll off it.
That is the most likely case as to why a forlorn raven continues to compose her letter of resignation to the group of superhero 'Teen' Titans. The sorceress laughs softly at this notion for the group has grown since they've first met those years ago. Years. A frown takes over and just as quick as the laugh had come, it was gone.
Raven sighs as she tosses yet another failed attempt to leave as well as make an apology goes right down the drain. The world was not black and white like most would liked to think. Only shades of grey paint the world's scenery. Though sometimes if you look closely one might find the faintest speck of color.
The empath grimaces as she briskly stands and heads out of her room, the only sound indicating she was up being the faintest noise of her door closing shut in the dark hallway. Levitating through the corridor, she made her way to the kitchen where immediately a kettle was put on the stove and a box of tea bags encased in her dark soul self was brought over to her.
She continued her way into the living area after fixing herself a cup, the warmth seeping into her cold hands. How long has it been? Since the beginning? That first night, when everything had started? "Hey stranger, didn't think you'd be home tonight." The deep voice caused the empath to turn around, not surprised to hear the half robotic man since she felt his presence enter the room. A simple shrug sent feelings of concern radiating off the metal hero. "You want to talk about it? Lately you choose to be anywhere but here, don't let them get to you though Rae. I'm sure one day all of this will pass. Is Star still giving you trouble? I'll tell Night-"
"No, it's okay, I'm fine really Cyborg I appreciate it though." Raven interrupted her long known friend. "It seems like forever ago, doesn't it?" The question didn't seem to need an answer but he decided to give one anyway. "The team forming? It has been a while hasn't it? You know, we've never would have gotten together if it weren't for you." Cyborg grinned at her, a comforting hand resting on her shoulder. "We both know that isn't true." She shook her head gently.
"Isn't it?"
Darkness. A foul stench. These were the first two things Raven noticed when she first stepped onto the the damp alleyway of Jump City. The homeless hurrying to find shelter, the beggers counting the money they were able to collect that day. Lonliness, the feeling wasn't foriegn to the young teen but that never made it anymore easier to swallow.
Hugging her cape tightly to her body she continued to walk, herself needing to find someplace, anywhere she can keep herself safe, as well as anyone around her too. Grey. that's all she saw, the city sucking the soul out of anything and everything trying to come through. That's when she saw it. The faintest color, a flash of red. A spark of green.
Curiosity pulled her almost in a trance to the alley's entryway, a sight she couldn't imagine unfolding in front of her eyes. A warrior. A goddess, an amazon. Fire flowing through the girl's hair as energy burst through emerald green eyes. The thought of the girl's beauty did snake into the introverts mind, but as soon as the thought came, denial shoved it out. upon closer inspection she seemed to be fighting a boy though obviously having bitten off far more then he could chew.
Whatever the boy had been using as a weapon broke, the girl smirking victoriously at this, leaping at a chance to do heavy damage her attempt was denied as a green ram attacked her midair. Said ram then morphed into a green masked boy, who saluted the other. The oddity of the situation did not unnerve the blue newcomer, nor did it stop her observation.
Her decision on whether to greet the odd teens and request a more...peaceful solution ws waning further as yet another teen in a hoodie appeared to stop a thrown vehicle the emerald eyed beauty decided to use as her next weapon. 'They're going to destroy this whole city at this rate.' The thought occured to the bystander. Focusing her gaze once more on the wild red head she felt the emotions roll off her in waves.
Anger being the main one, as well as surprisingly, fear. It was faint but definitely there amongst worry and confusion. 'She probably wants help.' That was the last thought she had before she decided it was now or never and stepped into the scene.
"The way I see it," Cyborg continued, noticing Raven reminiscing, her dazed gaze wandering the moonlit ocean view. "if you hadn't stepped in we would have continued to fight Starfire that night, probably would of got our asses handed to us too." Cyborg laughed wholly at that, the girl sure knew how to throw a punch. The amusement died down in his eyes as his laughs turned into a long sigh. "Probably would have destroyed Jump City itself."
Cyborg gave Raven's shoulder one last squeeze before turning around to head to bed, waving behind him his goodnight. Raven sipped more of her warm escape before she too, decided to try and turn in for the night.
"Hey babe, how was meditation?" The boy wonder grinned as the blue bird perched on the sofa next to him. "It was fine as usual." Her cold reply didn't break the accompaning bird's grin as he continued to speak.
About what Raven couldn't say for her mind was preoccupied as it always was on days like these. Her denial for what her body seemed to think it wanted. The culprit swaying in the air laughing with the other two teamates.
She decided that she wouldn't go after the princess, reinstating in her mind how much she enjoyed the company of her partner currently sitting next to her she has yet to pay attention to. "-ven? Raven?" She shook her thoughts of the exotic princess away. "Yes Robin?" She asked in response, finally turning her attention to him.
"I asked if you'd like to go out tonight, if the city sleeps peacefully tonight that is." He added, always willing to save those in need. "Maybe we can stop by that tea shop you like before possibly watching a movie?"
He always tried in that way. A small amount of guilt planted intself in the pit of Raven's stomach. He cared for her, even if she was hard to have feelings for with her state of emotions, or rather loack there of.
'I will learn to care for him.' the thought echoed in her mind, attempting to make it concrete. The world would eventually end soon anyway, she can pretend a little longer.
The sound of laughter and rough housing awoke the blue bird that morning. As she got up to leave her room, running into what was once the boy wonder and his girlfriend, starfire. "Hey, Rae. I didn't realise you were back." The greeting was warm as common as was the cold green stare from the woman whom held his arm.
"Yes Raven, usually you are not home these nights." Keeping her gaze neutral as possible she never broke eye contact from the alien princess. "I decided to come home today." Raven replied nonchalantly before heading towards he kitchen area, all to eager to get away from the pair. A small huff escaped the tameranian's lips, just loud enough for the passing empath to hear.
"Morning sunshine!" Cyborg happily called out, "I hope your hungry, I'm making up a big batch of waffles, anyone in?" Raven nodded slightly, thanking her friend as she sat at the breakfast bar.
"Well you can count me out!" The voice came from her greener teammate, "I still refuse to eat your cooking, your always mixing meat with everything!"
"Well I don't have a problem with that, i'll take his share too." Terra laughed out. She looked over to Raven feeling her gaze, "Some things never change right?" Raven pondered that for a split second before deciding against saying anything harsh, she nodded.
Some things didn't really change, even Terra who was no longer in her stone prison escaping soon after Trigon's defeat, still retained her positive attitude whenever facing the titans.
"I would also like some of the waffles." Starfire spoke, genty floating over to the fridge to take out a bottle of the eartly condiment she had grown so attached to. "Would you like some mustard with the waffles as well Nightwing love?" Star smiled though Nightwing politely declined. "No thanks Star."
"I don't understand." Starfire had spoken sounding as confused as she had stated. "Are you and Robin not doing the going out?" Raven sighed, debating talking to Starfire about any of this. In the time they had lived and worked together she had felt as if the had grew to be somewhat of best friends. One she did not want or plan on losing. "Do you not love him?"
"Star..."Raven tested out.
"Do you have the feeling for someone else?" There was the slightest bit of excitement in the alien's voice. It did not come as a surprise, the whole tower could see how she felt with the exception of the boy wonder himself. When Raven didn't respond a smile threatened to rip the red head's face in half. "Oh do tell! please? What is his name? Is it Beast boy perhaps? Aqualad?"
Raven sighed again for what felt like the hundereth time that day. " Star stop, it doesn't matter who I have feelings for." Raven noted more to herself then the titan she was talking to.
"Of course it does friend Raven." Friend. There was that word. "I am most intrigued. What guy could get your attention when our friend Robin could not?"
It was then that Raven realized her excited friend would not let the subject go. Bracing herself for the worst outcome Raven accepted her fate, no longer meeting her emerald green eyes. "Star...I don't like guys...i don't find myself attracted to them...I...I like girls...at least, I think I do." There it was, it was out, not feeling any disgust radiating off of her she chanced a look up to see her smile was still there, if anything it might have impossibly gotten bigger.
"Glorious news friend Raven!" The statement shocked the empath slightly. "And how, pray tell is this glorious news?" Starfire's smile had gotten smaller but it id not disappear as her excitement finally diminished. " This means that you have the ability to perhaps find love one day? How can this not be happy news?"
If only she knew. The group continued to laugh and joke around mouthfuls of their meal, even Raven attempted to put in a few small remarks though not many. In time she slowly came out to everyone in the tower, Cyborg was very accepting, though Beastboy had seemed slightly upset about it, he had gotten over it rather quickly and soon after his humor towards picked up, going as far even as to ask Raven if she wanted to check out the babes with him for some 'quality bro time.'.
This of course soon stopped after the team had found out that the geomancer had escaped her stone prison, his attention full on the blonde. Nightwing, or Robin at the time, was the one who took it worse. It made sense seeing how she had dumped him in the same sentence. She felt his heart shatter with those few words, his emotions a roller coaster of depression. Even he had gotten over it, first thinking she made it as an excuse to leave him all together.
Eventually she could feel his emotions start to better themselves. She knew he would always hope that she would decide to try with him again even if they both knew it wouldn't happen. These days he even asks Raven if she has found any interests, wishing her happiness. As happy as Raven could be at least. That's the difference between love and infatuation, or even an obsession. you'll always put the one you love first, even if it means taking a shot, or a few, to yourself in the process.
"But why her?" Robin just didn't get it. First his ex dumps him, letting him in on the fact that she was actually batting for the other team. Then once they start mending their friendship and she tells him the one she has actual feelings for, she tells him to date her instead,quite angrily at that.
No fault then his own though he conceded seeing how he ended up sleeping with her, his heart was broken and she welcomed him with open arms so what was a guy to do? He knew what he did was wrong even if she had seduced him, him and Raven never even had done anything save for kissing at most, of course now he knew why.
"Raven, you told me you have feelings for her. Why not just tell her?" Raven shook her head in response. "Robin, I want you both happy, and I know how she feels about you." It wasn't a lie, the whole tower knew. "She's just so...Starfire." Robin scowled. "How do you think she would make me happy?"
She's a lot more then that once you get to know her."
"Yeah. She can be pretty angry too." He responded, still not convinced. " Look just give it a shot? You never know maybe Starfire will even be your type."
Robin grunted, looking away from those dangerous amethysts he had fallen for. "Look, you even had sex with her Robin." Robin grunted again at the request before shrugging and letting out a sigh of defeat. He did not like hearing Raven so angry, especially since he knew she was a little hurt as well, and he felt he was the one to blame. "Fine, I'll...go ask her out then. Just one shot though." With that he got up and dejectedly walked to his bedroom door, before straightening up and briskly walking out.
"All Right well I'm headed out to pick up some food for moi." Her thoughts were dismissed as changeling stood up. She only now noticed he was wearing civilian clothing. The city, though it still had days it needed saving was gaining more and more heroes, giving the older titans days off and actual time to develop other hobbies beside a few hours of sleep and training in between. Stretching in his tight short sleeved purple shirt, Raven noted he had been getting slightly more built, no longer a string bean but not as much as to say he was muscular.
"Can change the costume but not the colors?" Raven smirked, pointing at his black jeans. He could only smile impishly in response, scratching the back of his head. "I'll come too." Unsurprisingly Terra stood up and followed her boyfriend out of the room.
"Guess I'll get going too." Raven decided, getting up feeling Starfire's irritation slipping through her mind's barriers. "Lot's of errands to run, and books to read."
"Will you be coming home tonight"? Nightwing asked. Raven simply shrugged before disappearing back into her room to change. She chanced a glance over to her trash bin, crumpled papers littered the inside as well as the floor next to where her aim decided to fail her. Quickly phasing out of her cape and leotard she opted for simple black jeans and a matching black tee-shirt. Grabbing a blue hoodie, she threw it on before smirking. You can change the costume, but not the color huh? That was her last thought before she teleported out of the tower, away from both caring friends and hateful eyes.