There was nothing better than falling asleep peacefully in your own bed - well it was Dimitri's bed, but that's basically the same – after a week or so fully covered in bandages and stitches. Let me tell you that no matter where you sleep – and I was in a luxurious royal bedroom – if you are alone and that sored and beaten up from surgery it's as though you are in a stiff hospital bed.

I had spent around 3 days at the hospital, between operations, and then about a week in the royal bedchambers Lissa's queen charm had arranged for me. So I had been in my best behaviour in order to take the stitches out by the end of the week and get a free pass to go home – well my new home at Court – which wasn't at all easy, imagine me, Rose Hattaway lying in bed all day doing absolutely nothing…yeah as I said not at all easy. Today was my first day away from that, slightly comfortable, prison and my craving for proper food took me to the restaurant wing at court were I spent most of the remaining day. Dimitri had insisted that I stayed with him during the night since something might happen and I might not have the strength to get help.

Spending my first night away from that place with Dimitri, to that I didn't even think to object. Since he was, like everybody else but me, working, he had given me a set of keys to his room that morning so I could go there whenever I wanted and he would join me after his shift ended. So after I finished my huge I-survived-a-gun-shot celebrative dinner I went to Dimitri's room and entertained myself – or at least tried – with one of his western books until he arrived – he had told me he was going to be a little later than usual, since there were some extra paperwork to fill – now that he was officially with his guardian title restored.

When I heard the keys jingle on the other side of the door it was already ten a.m. – pretty late for us since we usually woke up at five or six p.m. – and I had by then given up on the books and turned on the TV.

"Hello Comrade, long day I see" – I smiled at him as he closed the door behind him with an extremely tired look.

"The longest" – he hanged his oh so amazing duster in a hanger and changed from the guardian uniform to a comfortable t-shirt and gym pants – "How are you feeling? Have you eaten?" – He said with a worried and caring voice while putting the shirt over that unbelievably hot chest of his.

"I'm good, considering, nothing that the pain killers won't fix. And yes I've eaten….do you not know me?" – I gave him a disbelieving look – "What do you thing was the first thing I've done? I knew you wouldn't arrive in time for dinner so I decided to go for it" – I grinned widely to his disapproving look.

"You know the doctor said you should avoid junk food, at least for now"

"Dimitri my body was in withdrawal of junk food, believe me, it will do me more good than bad" – I said while he approached the bed and put away the two books I had been trying to read – "I don't understand how you finish them so quickly" – answering the unsaid question in his confused stare.

He laid down and covered himself with the sheets in one single movement. His arms wrapped me close to him carefully as so not to hurt my bruised torso. His head dipped into my shoulder in between my messy dark hair, breathing deeply. I knew him, he didn't get this bothered or tired about work.

"What Happened Dimitri? Talk to me…" – I put my hand on his head stroking his silky hair softly. It was strange these rare times when his shield came down and I was the one to comfort him. For so long it had been the other way around.

"Just a lot of paperwork … nothing worth you worrying about believe me" – he lifted his head and kissed me on the lips. I wished that with that kiss I could take away some of his worry.

"You know what worries you worries me…let's go to sleep, it will be better in the morning, everything's better on a Saturday morning right?" – I smiled at him holding my forehead against his.

With that I snuggled next to him, with my head close to his chest and in an instant we both fell in a deep sleep.

I had closed my eyes for what seemed like a second and I suddenly hear a noise. I woke up to find myself laying in a big four post bed. I clearly remembered being in my room with Rose beside me. I looked to my side to find her curdled up with her back turned to me, sleeping. I breathed in relief.

My hand reached for the dark hair cascading down her back, exposing her bare shoulder. My hand trembled with panic and fear. Two bite marks tinted her pale skin. My head started conjuring up the horrible thoughts I had tried to repress, but even so as I saw a single drop of blood coming out of the open wound I couldn't help but feel a thirst rising in me.

I tried to pull away from her, to get out of the bed and walk away but something held me, almost like I was a mere spectator in someone else's body….in my own body. This feeling was too familiar to me… I didn't want to believe it. And as I tried to deny it to myself she woke up and faced me. Her frightened look gave me the certainty of what I didn't want to admit and I knew at that moment if I had looked in a mirror my eyes would be garish red. I saw my own hand caress her face as her expression relaxed slightly. I kissed her. She broke out and kissed my forehead, my cheeks, and my mouth again. My mind wanted to scream for her to get out, to run. But my body was saying her to stay.

"Don't you want me?" – She said, exposing her neck again. Her voice filled with desire and fear. Fear I would hurt her more than I already had.

I screamed "No" but not a sound came out. I closed my eyes and felt my sharpen teeth carving inside her. Her blood in my mouth despicable and healing at the same time. I was enjoying it, the mere spectator in me, couldn't help but enjoy it. As I opened my eyes I whispered to her.

"Roza… run" – this time she heard me. She started to craw away from the bed, weakened by the bite. The "other" part of me was angry, and I was supressed again to the limits of my powerlessness. I tried to grab her but she had had a head start. She got out of the bed and started running towards the door. I went after her with a rage that fuelled my body. In my mind, though, I only prayed she could escape in time.

She opened the door and run out into a narrow and endless corridor, I followed but when I got there she had disappeared. I suddenly hear a gun shot. I start to run for what seemed like an eternity. Until finally I reach an opening to outside. It seems like one of the exterior patios of St. Vladimir's. The sun lightens the grass with a warm and radiant colour. Rose is breathless from running. She leans into the tall oblique in the middle of the patio. The light shining into her skin and hair. I could stare at her forever. She sees me and her expressions goes from fear to relief. She would be protected in the sun. My mind relaxed as well at the realization of that, but as I saw my body stepping into the light all my hopes crashed to the ground. I started walking towards her and as I came closer I realised she was holding on to her chest. Blood was coming out. She had been shot. I ran to her and put my hands on the wound, trying to stop the blood from coming out, fighting my own thirst. Closing her eyes she whispered.

"You can't hurt me anymore…"

Her relief wasn't because of the sun. Her relief was that she had died before I could torture her any longer. And I felt angry…all of me.

I woke up with what I thought was someone talking. I opened my eyes and looked around, there was no one else in the room. I glanced quickly at the clock in the nightstand. Two p.m. with a grown I laid my head again back in my pillow. "Great Rose, your first night back and you can't even enjoy a proper night of sleep" I thought to myself while closing my eyes in another attempt to fall back asleep. That when I heard it again. This time I searched for the origin of the sound. I looked to my right only to realise it had come from Dimitri. He was dreaming… and he was talking.

I was afraid to waken him, she was strong, and let's say I wasn't in my best shape ever. If he was having some sort of nightmare he could react with a brusque movement, or whatever he was doing in his dream. I leaned to him, slowly and carefully I kissed his forehead, his cheeks and his mouth. His expression relaxed. And with that I laid back again. A second later he screamed. This time a loud and panicked scream almost made me jump.

"No! Roza… Run!" – He screamed again. Hearing my name only worried me more. I had to wake him up, at this point I didn't care anymore if I got punched in doing it.

I reached him and touched his arm, shaking it softly – "Dimitri…wake up….Dimitri…" – his body was tense, rigid, like he was bound by invisible ropes. I shook harder.

"No, please…. Don't…please….останься со мной (stay with me)"

"Dimitri wake up!" – I spoke louder, panicking by the thought of what he might of have been dreaming about – "Dimitri" – I screamed this time, almost like a pleading. I shook him again. This time he opened his eyes rapidly. Panic and fear was written all over his face as he looked around.

He looked at me, almost like in pain. And brusquely reached for my hair, exposing my shoulder, I couldn't help but notice relief on his face. He put his head between his hands and looked down at the bed, murmuring some Russian words almost trying to soothe himself.

I scotched near him and put one hand on his arm and another on his lower back slowly rubbing it.

"It's okay…it was only a dream D'mitri….it's over now" – he continued to talk to himself and only a few moments later did he acknowledge my words.

"It wasn't a dream…" – he let out, not daring to look me in the eyes – "It was real… I couldn't act, I was stuck… in …" – my hand reached his face trying to make him look at me. He didn't move.

"Look at me … Dimitri …please" – With the last begging word he complied. It was rare for me to see that look on him. That hopelessness, fear and dread that were so uncharacteristic of him, or at least that he was able to repress so well.

"What colour are my eyes?" – He said and surprisingly I heard in his voice a tone of seriousness and terror. He was truly afraid of my answer. I cupped his face with my hand and caressed it.

"Brown… They are brown, as ever"

"They weren't always…" – he looked down, averting my eyes – "It was so real… I, I felt like I was back there…and you… I couldn't help myself…" – he murmured quickly I cut him promptly pulling him towards my bruised chest not caring about the sharp pain that hit me.

"It's okay…it was a dream, it's over now…it didn't happen…not this time" –I stroked his hair rubbing circles with my fingers in his arm. Some of the paperwork must have been about the new guardian certifications that were required for him to get back to work. I knew him, he was tired and as usual he repressed his feelings. Everything just piled up in his subconscious and it apparently came out when he was more vulnerable. Even faced with the memories of his Strigoi past he was more worried about my well-being, he had forgiven himself but there were trigger moments memories that couldn't help but come back into his mind

"I felt like I was losing myself…like… I was fading away."

"I will never let it happen" – He released himself from my embrace and we stood there for what seemed like forever, looking into each other's eyes. We kissed slowly and tenderly, laying down we held one another comforted by our warmth and the sound of our synchronized breathing. I felt his body entwine in mine as his muscles finally relaxed, all of them except his hands that clasped my t-shirt tight almost making sure I wasn't a figment of his imagination. Almost assuring himself that I was really there, next to him. I broke the silence.

"I will always be here to remind you… of you, and guide you back home."

(Auhor's Note: I had this idea after having a horrible nightmare this last night...well decided to turn it into something good. Merry Christmas everyone)