Title: Catchlove for the Inexperienced 1/?
Fandom: Harry Potter, Marauder's Era
Pairings: None, really, but I can't help but hint at Sirius/Remus. C;
Word Count: 362
Rating/Warning: PG-13 for cursing. Nothing else, really, but it doesn't hurt to be safe. I'm not sure what I'll have pop up in later chapters.
Beta: None
Disclaimer: I may act as if I own Sirius and Remus's souls, but I, sadly, do not. Harry Potter (c) J.K. Rowling.
Summary: Upon noticing that Peter fancies another Hogwarts student (a girl, at that!), Sirius decides to coach his friend in the way of love.
Notes: A long-overdue fanfiction for a friend of mine, ~LuxLazuli! Though the first chapter is just dialogue, the others will probably be normal style. Or every other chapter will be dialogue-only? Not sure, though I like the idea of that. Anyway, stay tuned for more!

"Ouch! Dammit, Sirius, what was that for?"

"Two o' clock."

"What? It isn't two."

"No. Turn your head."

"...Oh. Is Pete talking to Greta Catchlove? Is he flirting?"

"Bingo. Now you've got it, Moony."

"Wait, wait, wait. What are you hinting at?"

"Pete's flirting."

"Yes."

"With a girl."

"What, do you think he'd flirt with a boy?"

"No! What I'm saying is Pete's flirting, and look at Greta's face, don't you think he needs a little... push in the right direction?"

"...I'm not following."

"Ugh! I swear, sometimes you're so clueless for the guy who's supposed to be the smart one. What I'm saying is Pete obviously fancies Greta, from what we've seen. Right? But Pete isn't exactly the most... experienced in that area, now is he?"

"Errr. No?"

"Right! So what if we helped him along a bit? You know, give 'im a few tips?"

"What, you mean... coach him? With flirting?"

"Yes."

"Why are you suggesting this to me? What do I know about flirting?"

"Oh, come on, Remus. Don't tell me you know nothing about attracting the opposite sex."

"..."

"Or the same sex, for that matter."

"What?"

"Well you've obviously got to know something, considering how attractive you are."

"Err..."

"To the girls, I mean."

"Attractive? Have you lost your mind?"

"Oh come on, Moony. Smart. Kind. Mysterious. A bit peeky, but overall a damn hot mess-"

"What?"

"-Look, that Ravenclaw over there is eyeing you over as we speak! Oooh, quite a looker, that one-"

"Back on topic, please."

"Right. So, Pete. You, me, James. Get him a date with Greta by the time of the ball, dress him up real nice-"

"...um..."

"-show him off as a real Marauder! Pete, the lady killer! Can't you see it now?"

"To be perfectly honest, no."

"Aww, you have no imagination. Look, here he comes now. Hey, Pete! Over here!"

"Oh, this isn't going to be good..."