Every Crook
Down in Japan
Liked Christmas a lot...
But Light Yagami,
Who lived just nearby Kanto,
Did NOT!

Light Yagami hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his ball-point pen wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his pride was wound too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
His heart or his pride,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, over lives he'd preside
Staring down from his home with a mad, deranged grin
At the thoughts of the deaths that were soon to begin
For he knew every criminal, murderer, or thief,
Were busy now, clenching their hearts for relief

"This does nothing to the matter at hand!" he snapped with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, his churly fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...

...All the malefactors he'd wish to erase
Would wake up bright and early. They'd still occupy space!
And then! Oh, the hope! Oh, the hope! Hope! Hope! Hope!
That's one thing he hated! The HOPE! HOPE! HOPE! HOPE!

Then the criminals, being ever so bold, would sit down and prepare.
And they'd steal! And they'd plunder!
And they'd KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL!
They would harm all in their sight, akin to a beast,

They were pathetic people he wanted deceased!

And THEN

They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Outlaw in Japan, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, their slaves around staffing
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And they would start laughing!

They'd laugh! And they'd laugh!
AND they'd LAUGH! LAUGH! LAUGH! LAUGH!

And the more Light Yagami thought of himself King Augustus
The more the he thought, "I must stop this for justice!
"Why for twenty-three years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop Christmas from coming!
...But HOW?"

Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
LIGHT YAGAMI
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" Kira snarled, his frown now inert.
And he made a quick L blue jeans and a t-shirt.
And he chuckled, and chortled, "A trick almost too effective!"
"With these jeans and t-shirt I'll be that strange detective!"

"All I need is a minion..."
Light Yagami looked around.
But since minions were scarce, there were none to be found.
Did that stop the God Kira...?
No! Light Yagami simply said,
"If I can't find a minion, I'll use Misa instead!"
So he called Amane Misa. He would use her red eyes
And with his death note, they would meet their demise!

THEN
He loaded some bags
And pens with to excel
In his broken-down car
And shoved Misa in as well.

Then Light Yagami said, "Giddyap!"
And the car started down
Toward the homes where the crooks
Lay a-snooze in their town.

All the windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All felons committing their sins without care
When he came to the first complex in the square.
"This is stop number one," Light Yagami hissed
And he stormed through the door, with that girl to assist.

Then he ran through the house. Quiet through and through.
But if Justice needed doing, that's what he would do
Caught, only but once by man, thought to be mugged

smashed his skull into the fireplace, forcefully slugged
Where the weapons of murder all hung in a row.
"These men," he grinned, "are the first ones to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile indeed most dour,
Around the whole house, destruction by the hour!
Vases! Family photos! Nutrients! Toys!
This had to be it, the greatest of ploys!
And he threw them to the ground. Then Kira, ever so sleek,
Stuffed the remains, piece by piece, in a creek!

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Crook's guns!
He took rocket launchers! They weighed several tons!
He cleaned out their storage as quick as a flash.
Why, Kira even took their last grenades that would smash!

He saw a young lady, her position from breath,
"And NOW!" grinned Lord Kira, "Another life becomes death!"

And Kira grabbed the corpse, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound and the silence thereof.
He turned around fast, a small boy at the door!
Small Teru Mikami, who was much more than four!

Kira had been caught by this little boy wonder
Who'd got out of bed to see Kira's blunder
He stared at Kira and said, "Weird man, why,
"Why have you killed my dear mother? WHY?"

But, you know, Light Yagami was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my black-haired friend," the fake detective spat,

"Your mother was a whore, unrighteous at that

"Had No belief in justice, that woman, the nerve!
"She received the death she fittingly deserved!"

And his words filled the child with Kira's dark theme
He cried himself to sleep with an unpeaceful dream
And when Teru Mikami finally fell asleep,
He threw the new body on top of the heap!

Then the last thing he did
Was light the building on fire.
Kira laughed to himself while he did retire
On their walls he left nothing but blood, quite prior.
All their objects would melt
That he left in the house,
The new earth scorched with the flames he had dealt

Then
He did the same thing
To the other Crook's houses

Leaving crumbs
Much too small
For the poor Asian's mouses!

It was quarter past dawn...
The last door left ajar
All the Crooks, still a-snooze
When he packed up his car,
Packed it up with their bodies! The carcasses! Consistence!
The life! Just murder! New World Order! Lost existence!

Ten thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Tate,
The bodies awaited their definite fate!
"Death to the felons!" he was Kira-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"The all the evil of Japan will all cry BOO-HOO!"

"That's a noise," grinned Kira,
"That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And Light Yagami put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...

But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!

He stared down at the city!
Kira widened his dark eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every Crook down in Japan, the tall and the small,
Were laughing! Without any crimes at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And Kira, with his death note ice-cold in the snow,
Stood seething and seething: "How could it be so?
It came without murder! It came without theft!
"It came without plundering or of hope bereft!"
And he seethed for three hours, `till his seether was sore.
Then Kira thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, wasn't bad at the core.
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

And what happened then...?
Well...in Japan they say
That Kira's known rage
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his anger felt so much more right,
He whizzed with his book through the bright morning light
He brought out the crooks! And he started a brawl!
And he...

...HE HIMSELF...!
Kira slaughtered them all!

Merry Christmas everyone! Or happy holidays/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa, which ever you prefer. Something I put together for the holiday season. Now I can't can't stop trying to rhyme every other sentence, great eh? I sincerely hope I do multiple updates for my other Death Note fics in my two weeks of free time, though something tells me video games may actually pull me away from the computer. Inform me if I'm off with my syllables, it's really quite troublesome doing it all in verse, but fun! Thanks for reading viewers! :)