the bitter taste of sweet syrup
By NiNA_eN
They are twisted by love. –Hatsune Miku/Kagamine Len.
"Despite it all I still don't know what love is
I can only guess that it could be good for me
But if it's good then why is it painful
So without it I know I'm better off"
- SPICE! by Len Kagamine
warnings: suggestions of manipulating/self-gratifying sexual content and seriously unrequited love.
She remembers a warmth that rivaled the sun.
At night, she curls up on her side; his smile is cruel and his eyes stare straight past her but she clings to him as hard as she can.
And knows this is the closest it can ever be.
Despite common opinion, she is not as oblivious as she seems.
She knows when she is being used.
But it's only when she knows he doesn't care about her that she can tell him the truth.
It's less and more painful: shiny pouted lips parting, eyelashes fluttering, caresses of porcelain flesh...
...a mockery of intimacy.
She traces patterns on his skin, moans his name and announces her love.
He stiffens at first, silent and face turned away, and her limbs quiver.
When he faces her again, he smiles - and it is a grotesque, twisted thing.
She kisses him with her eyes closed.
She thinks of a sweet smile and soft eyes.
And knows it will never be for her.
She's watched him for many years now.
The first is opening ceremony: he is small and nervous and trails after a girl with identical features. His eyes are big, soft, round and so very blue, they dart around here and there; he stutters and stumbles, trips over his own feet.
She giggles awh he must be new - he is so adorable - and would you like some help?
His smile outshines the sun and knocks her over faster than the wind.
It is senior year and she has finally worked up the courage to approach him.
She stutters and stumbles and reddens - it is her last year, she should at least talk to him. At least once, at least once.
Her shoes squeak on the floor.
And then - and then, he's kissing her. kissing her, kissing her.
She forgets to breathe.
"Why... am I hurting myself by keeping hoping?"
Chose the lyrics specifically from this video: http : / / www . youtube . com / watch ? v = RnVV9nhcSSs
Context a mix specifically from these two: http : / / www . youtube . com / watch ? v = 7wt5HmAzHn8 and http : / / www . youtube . com / watch ? v = wFeQ0w3OR _ U & feature = related