If there was one thing Tony Stark couldn't live without, it was coffee.
That's why, every morning before making his way to SHIELD HQ, he stopped at a little privately-owned coffee shop. Its appeal was in its obscurity. Unlike a busy Starbucks, he wasn't harassed by the other customers for an autograph or the latest on Stark Industries tech. Most of the customers were either too old to know who he was, too engrossed in their work, or rather well-known themselves. Plus, the coffee was spectacular. There was usually a sizeable line at daybreak, and this morning was no exception.
Tony stood in line, checking the news on his phone. Stark Industries' stock had again lost points in the NASDAQ overnight. He sighed. Pepper would be calling him about that later. These days, he was too bogged down with SHIELD stuff to pay much attention to the company, instead appointing Pepper as the new CEO. However, she still yelled at him for losses in stock; she said it was because he wasn't coming up with any new technology save his "hulking metal costumes". She really didn't appreciate his genius, he thought. Those suits were light-years ahead of the rest of today's tech, and calling them cost-
"I would like a large black coffee with a shot of espresso, please. Oh, and could you throw in a blueberry muffin, too? Thank you." A lilting, posh voice caused Tony to look up from the cat GIFs on his Tumblr dash. It sounded vaguely British and unsettlingly familiar. Tony looked closer.
The man it belonged to stood at the counter, dressed simply in slim charcoal jeans, a leather jacket, and dark boots. His hair was raven-black and slightly curly. After exchanging a few bills with the barista, he walked over to the other end of the counter. Tony still couldn't see his face.
He removed his sunglasses and squinted, a nervous ball forming in the pit of his stomach. He was sure he recognized that voice from somewhere, but he just couldn't place it-
Oh shit.
He suddenly realized, pupils blowing wide, stepping back with the force of his shock. Tony patted his coat frantically, searching for a gun he knew wasn't there. Fury had insisted he carry one, and he stupidly, stupidly refused, saying it would never be useful, that it would be too bulky, and now he was going to die. In a coffee shop.
He knew Fury would get at least some satisfaction out of knowing he was right, the bastard. Tony supposed a gun wouldn't do much against a god, anyway, but at least it might slow him down. He looked around wildly, searching for something, anything that could act as a weapon. Coming up empty handed, he jumped.
Tony had never been very good at making split-second decisions, but this certainly took the cake for his worst one yet.
Loki lay sprawled underneath him, shock unfolding on his face. Tony had his arm pinned to his back and was almost as shocked as Loki. He was the first to regain his composure.
"Loki Laufeyson, what the hell are you doing in my coffee shop?"
Tony winced. This was not turning out to be the most successful confrontation he'd ever had. Loki's face slipped into a look of extreme annoyance.
"What I am doing in your coffee shop is, I assure you, perfectly harmless," he spat. "You are not the only one with a need for caffeine in the morning."
At this moment, Tony realized just how royally screwed he was. He couldn't possibly defend himself against Loki. The other customers were staring at him in shock, a few taking pictures on their phones. And his designer suit was completely soaked in coffee. Suddenly, something occurred to him.
"Wait. Why haven't you teleported away? And why am I not dead?"
Loki sighed. Tony could feel the movement beneath him. "You know, Stark, for all your genius reputation, you are decidedly dull at times." He tried to turn his head, struggling slightly beneath Tony. "Will you let me up?"
"How do I know you won't try to kill me?"
Loki rolled his eyes, exasperated. "I am unarmed. And I have no magic at my disposal, either."
Tony couldn't feel a weapon, and he reckoned that if Loki could kill him, he would have by now. He reluctantly stood, offering a hand to the god on the floor. He didn't take it.
Loki brushed himself off to little result. He was almost as covered in coffee as Tony.
"Shall we sit?" He pulled out a chair at a table nearby.
Tony looked around. The other customers were almost all going back to what they were doing. Huh. "Gimme a second." Tony whipped out his phone and hit the speed dial.
"Jarvis, did you catch that little disaster?"
"I did, sir. Congratulations, you just tackled a Norse god to the ground."
"Cool is with the sass, Jarvis, or I'll downgrade your browsing system to Internet Explorer. Now, how many pictures of my escapade are currently floating out in the cloud?"
"Several hundred, sir."
Tony swore under his breath. Screw the internet age. "Can you take care of those for me?"
"Of course, sir." Tony ended the call and took a seat across from Loki, who was dabbing coffee off his brow with a napkin. The black-haired man eyed him expectantly.
"What? Is there something on my face?"
Loki sighed theatrically. "No, Stark. You have questions. I am only here still so that I may answer them."
"Oh. That's… kind of you." The other man shrugged dismissively. "Well, then. Uh, why haven't you killed me yet?"
"Must we go over this again? Because I am without magic, I am unarmed, and you're simply not worth my time."
"Gee, thanks. But where is your magic? And weren't you imprisoned on Asgard?"
"I'd rather not tell you. I am afraid you will tell Odin and cause me to lose the limited freedom I have obtained."
"No, I won't. I mean, as long as you're not killing people. Are you?"
"Am I what?" Loki raised a delicate eyebrow.
"You know… killing people."
Loki laughed melodically. "Would I really jeopardize my freedom by exposing myself like that? And what could I possibly gain from it? No, Stark, I am not killing mortals for pure pleasure. That's not… my style, as you Midgardians put it."
"If I swear not to speak to anyone about this little, uh… meeting, will you tell me how you can be here? I have already made sure they're no photographs of it."
"And why do you expect me to trust you? If I tell you, Odin will hear of it and see that I am not totally imprisoned. If not, all you can do is say that you saw me in a coffee shop, of all places. People will think you were simply drunk. That wouldn't be much of a stretch, if what I've heard about you is correct."
"I could give you something in exchange."
"And what would you have that I could possibly desire?"
Tony scrambled momentarily for an answer. "My phone number."
Loki laughed again, and Tony almost smiled at the sound. Then he remembered this was the man who had slaughtered hundreds of people in order to make his father proud. He really should just turn him in. But his curiosity had gotten the best of him, and it didn't seem like he was causing anyone any harm.
"Why would I want your phone number?"
"That way you can keep track of me, and you can call me to ask for information on the Avengers initiative."
Did he really just sell out his entire team? Well, you couldn't accuse the man of being selfless. Thankfully, Loki replied with, "I have no need for such information. But I will accept the exchange of your phone number, if you swear to answer any questions I have at a later date."
"All right, then." Tony wrote his number on a slip of paper and slid it to the god across the table. Loki plucked it from the edge and slipped into the breast pocket of his jacket.
"I suppose I should start from the beginning.
"When I was captured, Thor put that dreadful muzzle and handcuffs on me-"
Tony smirked. "It was kind of kinky."
"Don't interrupt," Loki said scoldingly. "They hindered my magical capabilities. We used the Bifrost to travel to Asgard, and he brought me to Odin. Odin decided I was to be imprisoned for a hundred years."
"What, only a hundred? You killed a ton of people and destroyed New York! Plus, you guys live to be thousands of years old, right?"
"Yes, but you forget that Odin has no use for Midgardians either. He believes you are all a bunch of worthless apes."
Tony scoffed. "Apes who kicked your ass," he muttered.
Loki ignored him. "I was imprisoned in a custom-designed cell, one that supposedly suppressed my powers. However, Odin, much like my brother, is totally unaware of how powerful I really am." He gave a terrifying smile. "Using a spare reserve of magic, I created a duplicate of myself. One that could stay in the cell while I escaped. I poured all of my magic into him, so that I would not be able to be traced through my magic. Then, I just slipped out in the middle of the night."
"How did you get to Earth?'
"My brother was visiting Jane Foster and I slipped into the Bifrost behind him. I've been here ever since."
Tony had to admit that the plan was stunning in its simplicity. "But how do they not notice you're gone?"
"I have instructed the duplicate to perform daily functions in my absence. I will regain my magic when we are again united."
Leaning back in his chair, he said, "Wow. How long ago did you arrive on Earth? I know it's been three years since we captured you, but-"
"I arrived a mere month after you captured me."
Tony stared. "So you've been here all this time? What have you been doing?"
"I believe that's enough questions, Mr. Stark," Loki chided. He stood swiftly, gathering his coat.
Tony stood, too, and followed Loki out of the shop. They stood on the sidewalk together, breath fogging in the cold.
"Wait, but I need to know-"
"Goodbye, Stark. Until next time." Loki strolled over to a sleek black Japanese motorcycle. He procured a helmet out of nowhere and swung his leg over the bike, starting the engine.
Tony gawked at him. "You've got to be kidding me. The God of Mischief and Lies on a crotch rocket. Now I've seen everything."
It was muffled by the sound of the engine and the helmet, but Tony thought he heard a "Not hardly," before Loki sped away.
So this is my first fanfiction ever, and I would appreciate reviews so much! I don't know if I should continue this or not, I'll decide depending on the response I get. ;)
3 RagAndBones