She remembers it perfectly.

The last time she saw him.

Freddie.

It had been almost a year since anyone had heard from him. After Karen discovered the postcard he left, everyone knew there was nothing they could do anymore. They figured that this was what he needed. To clear his head. To be alone for a while. That he'd be back eventually. Someday. She had just been discharged from her first of many trips to the mental hospital when he disappeared. He was the only one who had continually been there for her. Now that he was gone, she felt there was no one she could rely on anymore. Sure her 'friends' visited her occasionally, but it didn't compare to the confidence she felt with Freddie.

Cook's disappearance struck her as well. She liked Cook. She really did. And she knew how he felt about her. So she couldn't help think that he may have had something to do with Freddie's disappearance. She didn't like to think about it, but she knew it very well could have been true. Cook was jealous of Freddie. It was clear.

Everything that had been going on contributed to her return to the hospital, forcing her to miss out on her life. But honestly, she didn't care. She'd rather be trapped in here, safe from the burdens of reality then out there where anything could harm her. Again.

She heard a television from another room. It was the dreary newswoman that she faced daily. She could only catch bits of what the woman was saying, as her mind involuntary took in the information she didn't want to hear, since all it would d was connect her back to the outside world.

'The body of an estimated teenage boy was found last night… The home is believed to be the home of John Foster, a former therapist and psychologist who disappeared a little less than a year ago…'

John Foster. The name rang a bell. She searched her mind desperately. She felt this was something she needed to remember. She could still hear the newswoman faintly.

'After multiple DNA tests, the body was identified as 18 year old…'

She cut off her connection with the sound completely before she could hear the name. She didn't want to know who it was. She couldn't remember who John Foster was, but she knew the name from somewhere. She didn't want to hear about someone who had gone where she should have been. She didn't want to be alive anymore. She had tried to kill herself and didn't regret it one bit. She hated life. Death was the one thing that could have freed her from her failure and uselessness, and she failed even that.

She glanced down at her wrist as one of her fingers ghosted itself across it.

"I can't even kill myself correctly…" She muttered it quietly to herself, careful not to alert any of the nurses nearby. She had been acting better lately, in hopes of being released again, so that she would finally be able to get rid of herself once and for all. She was constantly being watched here. She couldn't even escort herself to the bathroom, someone would always find her and guide her there, watching over her. Maybe if the people here actually cared about her, then she would appreciate it. But she knew that not one of them cared. They were just doing their jobs for the money.

A petite nurse popped her head in the door. It had been a different nurse every morning, so she never really had been able to 'bond' with any of them. "Good morning, Stephanie. How are you feeling so far?"

"Good," was her feeble reply.

"That's great. Breakfast is in ten, there will be a nurse to come round and collect you, okay?"

Effy grunted, indicating she understood.

"Good, see you then." The nurse gave her a faked smile. It looked like a serious smile and could have fooled anyone else, but Effy was smarter than that.

When the nurse was out of earshot, Effy spoke to herself.

"My name is Effy, bitch."

She half-heartedly crunched on a piece of dry toast in her corner, watching the interactions of everybody else. There was a girl who had just tried to drown herself by running to the bathroom, but they had chased her down and broke down the door before she could make any serious attempts. Effy had to give the girl credit, she could run. She outran 2 guards and a few nurses, shouting obscenities and declaring how victorious she was to "finally be able to get out of this shithole."

The nurses led them back to their respective rooms, and when they were guided past the secretary's desk, Effy stole a look at the calendar. There were X's crossing off the days that had passed already, stopping on the 12th. It was April, Effy knew that much, but she didn't know today was the 13th.

Today was her birthday.

She shrugged it off, remaining unfazed. It didn't bother her, she had no one anymore. It didn't matter that today was supposed to be one of the most 'special' days of her life, as 18th birthdays are usually deemed so. She planned on going through with her daily routine, forgetting that it was even her birthday.

But she did wonder briefly if either her mother or brother, or even her father remembered at all. That was really the one thing she wanted, was to see Tony once more. Fuck Anthea, and fuck Jim. Fuck her 'friends', too. She just wanted Tony. And Freddie. But she knew the latter was practically impossible.

After a handful of therapeutic sessions and checkups from more careless nurses, Effy remained in her room and planned to do so for the rest of the night. She was lulling herself to sleep when she heard a faint tapping on the window. Figuring it was just her imagination, she ignored it. The rapping gradually became louder and more consistent.

"Come on, bitch. Wake up!"

Knowing the voice wasn't imaginary, she turned to the window to face none other than Katie Fitch. The girl was leaning on her window wearing a beautiful smile. Effy couldn't help but smirk to herself as her once 'best friend' stood at her window. Katie always considered herself Effy's best friend, but Effy knew herself that she didn't actually have friends. At least not anymore. Disregarding that thought however, she carried herself over and forced the window open.

"Come on, we're breaking you out."

Effy didn't hesitate climbing out of the window. She followed Katie as she ran across the lawn to the woods on the other side. It was dark, around midnight Effy had guessed. Katie grabbed ahold of her and they ran through the woods, dodging trees and bushes until they reached a clearing. Sitting there was everyone she though had given up on her. JJ was there, with Lara, next to them was Panda and Thomas. The circle continued, with Naomi and Emily next, then an empty spot where she presumed was Katie's. Even Cook was there. He stood, giving her a hearty smile.

"Effy, long time no see, babes."

She hugged everyone, dropping all of her suspicions of their abandonment.

"Hold on, Eff. There's one more person."

Effy watched as another person came out from their refuge behind a large oak tree.

"Surprise, Effy. Happy birthday."

"Tony?"

"Yeah. How've you been? I missed you."

She ran and clutched Tony around the neck, hugging him tightly.

"Haven't been that great honestly, considering I've just been broken out of a mental hospital, but I'm pretty okay right now. I missed you too, Tony."

The others stood around, cheering quietly. Effy wondered for a second how she could have believed that these people had given up on her. She watched as Katie pulled three bottles of vodka from a pack, and took a hearty sip.

"So who's ready to party?"

Everyone cheered loudly in delight, including Effy. Cook scooped up a bottle and cracked it open. "Effy, this one's for you. Happy Birthday, babe."

Disregarding her condition, knowing she was in no state to be drink, Effy took the bottle and took a long gulp. The familiar burn relaxed her, bringing her back to older days, and for once, she smiled at the memories.

After everyone had a few drink and had been feeling slightly tipsy, they sat around reminiscing, bringing up hilarious memories from the past.

"Hey, do you guys remember when Panda took an entire bag of coke? She was off her fucking tits!"

"What about that one time, Effy, when we were in Panda's neighbor's bedroom and found that sex tape?"

"No, Cook! Don't even bring that up! I don't want to think for a second that Mum's been making monkey with Martin!"

Everyone was howling with laughter, even when mention of Cook's run from Naomi's house during the police raid came up.

They had been partying almost all night, the sun was just starting to peek out from its hiding place beneath the trees. Cook stood up, drunkenly. "Effy, babes, I hate to say it, but we should probably get you back soon. Don't want you in any more trouble than you're already in." He offered her a hand and she took it gratefully, pulling herself up and steadying herself with his shoulder.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

After giving final hugs, she stood with Tony for a moment.

"Hey, Eff. Don't worry, we'll be back to see you real soon. Promise."

"Really?"

"Yep. Pinky promise." Tony held up a finger and Effy linked it with her own, giggling profusely.

"I'm holding you to it."

"Don't worry, we'll be back. Honestly." They exchanged one final hug, and then returned to Cook,

"Come on. I'll walk you back."

They began their track through the woods, quickly coming back to the field. Effy could see her window already. When they were about halfway across, Cook grabbed her hand and halted her. They stood underneath a large tree when Cook spoke up.

"Hey, Effy. Did you see the news today?"

"No, why."

Cook sighed, and Effy thought she saw a frown, and almost a tear.

"They found Freds. In Foster's basement. He's gone, Effy. The bastard killed him."

"John Foster. I remember him now."

"He was your last therapist."

"Yeah, I remember now. I heard his name today, on the news. But I couldn't remember."

"He killed Freds and ran. I'm sorry, babes."

Effy let a single tear fall, and felt as Cook reached up, wiping it away."

"How did he do it?"

"Do you really want to know?"

Effy nodded.

"With… with a baseball bat. His skull was smashed, and his face was too fucked for facial recognition. They had to DNA test him. Karen and his dad are devastated. I know you are too. We all are." He reached in his pocket, taking his phone and giving it to her. "Take it. I'm staying with Naomi and Emily for a little while, so if you need me, just call one of them. Got it?"

Effy nodded again. It was all she could do. Cook pecked her on the cheek before grasping her shoulders. "Don't worry, well get through this Eff. Now come on, in you go." He lifted her through the window and followed her in, laying her on her bed and tucking her in. "Get some sleep. I'll try to come see you tomorrow." He pecked her one last time before making his was back through the window and back into the woods.

Effy whispered to herself.

"I knew he was dead all along. I could feel it."

My first one-shot and first time writing Effy. I hope it wasn't too bad.

:)