Sophie's Choice

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

There were a lot of things to recommend Emily Uley to the world at large. She was very pretty (once beautiful but that was a long time ago) but not stuck-up about it. She was forgiving to a fault and kind and patient and warm. She was sweet and somehow just made life look easy. She was happy and in love and living out a fairytale (never mind that it was supposed to be Leah's). And she had, in the expert opinion of anyone who had ever tried her cooking, professional baking skills. Somehow with werewolves that ended up being the compliment she heard the most although she honestly didn't know what it was that she did differently than anyone else.

Leah Clearwater had her good points, too, even if some days she couldn't – wouldn't – see them and others (tired of having to deal with her pain) didn't look very hard either. She was the strongest person that Emily knew. She was fiercely protective of those that she loved. She always knew the right thing to say to snap people out of their self-pity even if that was rarely comforting. She was the antithesis of fragile. She didn't take crap from anybody. She was determined and single-minded and when she got it into her head to do something then that something got done. And she could forgive a betrayal that Emily didn't know if even she could have forgiven, a betrayal that Emily and her husband had committed. And maybe Sam didn't have a choice (did he? Jacob certainly seemed to) but she had.

Emily had never been the surprising one but every now and then she managed to shock her cousin and so she enjoyed it probably more than she should.

"I think that you two would make a good couple," Emily said one day as she and Leah were sitting along the edge of one of the cliffs. She was actually a little nervous about being so close to the edge (though she was sure that Leah wasn't because Leah was never nervous about anything) but sometimes she wanted to be brave, too. And if she did fall then she was sure that Leah would save her.

"Which two?" Leah asked blankly. "Me and who?"

"You and Jacob," Emily said as if it were obvious. And it was super obvious, at least as far as she was concerned. And if it weren't for certain children then she had the feeling that it would be a lot more obvious to everyone else.

Leah laughed. "Pull the other one."

Emily frowned, not accustomed to not being taken seriously and not particularly liking it. "I meant it."

"Me," Leah repeated skeptically, "and Jacob."

"Yes," Emily agreed, nodding. "Why not?"

"There's no point in getting into any other reason but the main reason that anybody and Jacob is a bad idea or me and any of the pack is also a bad idea," Leah declared. "Imprints."

"Oh?" Emily said politely, inviting Leah to go on.

Leah narrowed her eyes. "Don't 'oh' me, Emily. You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Well, yes, I am aware that several of the boys have imprinted, including Jacob, and that it's entirely possible that any of the others might imprint at any time," Emily admitted. "I am also aware that Jacob's imprint is Bella's daughter Nessie."

"So there you have it," Leah said as though that settled everything.

If Emily were standing up (and about ten or fifteen years younger) then she would have stamped her foot. "No, it's not 'there you have it!'"

"But he's her imprint," Leah said and shouldn't their roles by reversed here? If the look that Leah was giving her was any indication then she wasn't the only one to think so.

"She looks like she's twelve," Emily pointed out. "And if we go by her actual age then-"

"She's a half-vampire so she ages fast and I don't think she'd wait until sixteen or eighteen or however many actual years pass before she can start acting the ages she looks and feels," Leah interrupted.

"Exactly the point," Emily said, nodding in satisfaction.

"Okay, you've lost me," Leah admitted.

"She's a half-vampire," Emily repeated. "That practically cancels out the imprint."

"I…don't think it works that way," Leah said slowly.

"I bet if I took a poll then most of the pack would agree with me," Emily told her.

"Well…maybe," Leah conceded. "But that's just because they don't want to think of their alpha hooking up with a half-vampire and having quarter-vampire babies, one of whom would become their next alpha."

"Whatever works," Emily said serenely.

"Is that why you're trying to set me up with Jacob?" Leah demanded, suddenly suspicious. "You're trying to keep the bloodline pure or something?"

Emily didn't deign to respond. "I will admit that I am a little concerned about the fact that she's twelve and, without this being anybody's fault, is being deprived of a full childhood and that has been half-raised by Jacob all her life. It's the same issue that makes me uncomfortable with Claire and Quil. If they ever get together I don't know what I'll do."

"You certainly never tried to stop them from spending time together," Leah pointed out.

Emily shrugged. "Claire is not my child; I really can't."

"Jacob wouldn't force her," Leah said fiercely. She paused. "If he even could. Half-vampire."

"I know," Emily agreed easily. That hadn't been what she was trying to say. "But the same fears that everybody had about Quil and Claire and child grooming apply here, too, I think."

"If it makes them happy…" Leah trailed off, apparently unable to actually say something positive about the pairing. Emily suspected this was more because she still had issue with the 'happily ever after' of one of the men Bella never could choose between and her daughter than anything else.

"Jacob doesn't seem particularly interested in the idea of a relationship with her," Emily pointed out. "Seeing as how she's twelve. And he's certainly not putting his life on hold even if he did just break up with Sarah."

"He did say that he didn't think that he imprinted on her for romantic reasons since there was the obvious need to imprint on her to save her and the Cullens," Leah said reluctantly.

"See!" Emily said triumphantly.

"No, not 'see'," Leah shook her head defiantly. "He's just saying that now when she's too young to love. When she gets older…even if he means it now then how can he help himself?" Sam certainly couldn't when unsaid but Emily felt the blow anyway.

"So…what?" Emily asked her. "He might fall in love with her when she gets old enough and if she loves him back and so you won't accept what might be several years of happiness before then? Besides, maybe he won't leave. Or maybe you'll be broken up over something else before he even looks her way."

"I love how you've apparently decided that I want to be with Jacob and he wants to be with me," Leah said dryly.

"Not only am I not blind, Leah, but 'I don't like him' or 'he doesn't like me' are far more convincing reasons than 'one day years in the future he might dump me'," Emily informed her.

"I just don't understand you," Leah said, shaking her head.

Emily frowned, uncertain of how exactly she was being so difficult to understand.

"I can't believe that you of all people would be arguing against imprinting!" Leah exclaimed.

"But I'm not arguing against imprinting," Emily protested, puzzled. "How am I arguing against imprinting?"

"You told me to date a man who already has an imprint and suggested that maybe that relationship could last even when his imprint is old enough to date," Leah reminded her. "Aren't pro-imprinting people supposed to, you know, support imprinting?"

"I may be an imprint happily married to the man who imprinted on me," Emily replied, her hand unconsciously ghosting across her scar, "but imprinting has cost me a lot."

Leah looked guilty for bringing it up, even accidentally. "Emily…"

Emily shook her head. "I'm not even talking about that, you know. Not really. It took us months before we were friends again even though we promised that we'd never let a boy tear us apart."

"We used to make fun of those girls," Leah agreed, smiling ruefully. "Though, to be fair, those girls didn't have magic mucking everything up and complicating things so I still don't think we were quite that bad."

Emily smiled cryptically and Leah made a face.

"And then there's the fact that Sam ultimately did not choose to be with me. We make each other happy, quite possibly happier than anyone on this planet ever had the potential to make us," Emily continued. "But it was not our choice. Sam couldn't help but love me and I…"

"Yes?" Leah prompted encouragingly.

Emily shrugged, unsure of just how to explain it. "I tried to fight it and you know that I did, for awhile. One day I realized that us being together was probably inevitable and so I could be one of those girls who made it difficult and then, when something bad happened, cried over 'all that wasted time' or I could just be with him right away and be happy."

"You were put in a horrible situation," Leah said, her eyes flashing. It really was a good thing that Sam wasn't there right then, for his sake. "You deserve better."

Emily shook her head again. "I don't want more, Leah. I'm happy. I like to think that, if Sam and I had met under other circumstances and we were both single and there was no imprinting that we would have fallen in love. And I…I did choose to give in. I could have fought it. Perhaps I could have fought it forever."

"Why didn't you?" Leah demanded. It was the first time she'd asked that question since she had basically thrown Emily out of her life after finding out that she had decided to date Sam. And, to be perfectly fair to Leah, about half of that was a suspicion that Sam was taking advantage of Emily's vulnerability since the attack. At least she sounded calmer this time.

"Because he made me happy," Emily said simply.

Leah made a disbelieving sound. "That's not the whole story."

"It is, though," Emily insisted. "He loved me and I really liked him and I knew that he could make me happy and he has been ever since then."

"Emily, I don't mean to be insensitive but he tore off half of your face," Leah said bluntly.

Still, Emily winced because that certainly wasn't sugarcoating it. "I know."

"And yet you're still with him," Leah said, shaking her head incredulously. "I don't understand it. If we had still been together and I had known then I would have broken up with him on the spot."

Emily shrugged. "I'm not you, Leah."

"I don't understand," Leah said, quite annoyed that she even had to voice that out loud.

"The facts…" Emily trailed off, trying to figure out how best to phrase it. "The facts are simple. He wanted to be with me and I wanted to be with him but I refused because of my loyalty to you and the fact that I didn't understand why he was acting in a way that, if it didn't involve werewolves and imprinting, would be terrible. He lost control and injured me. He's never forgiven himself for it. I could either choose to be happy or I could cling to my self-respect and decide that some things are unforgivable and still not be with him. I knew that he wouldn't lose control again so that wasn't a factor."

Leah looked almost pityingly at her now and Emily had to try very hard to ignore that. "God, Emily, do you even hear yourself? You have to choose between happiness and self-respect…No one should have to do that."

"I'm not saying that I don't have any self-respect," Emily said clearly. "Just that in that situation I had to sacrifice one or the other and I chose self-respect."

"I would never do that," Leah said stubbornly.

"You're facing that same situation," Emily pointed out, "with Jacob. You could be happy with him and risk the fact that maybe he might not love you best or might leave you or might stare at her or you could cling to your self-respect and be able to say that you would never be with a man who can't promise you that he will be able to promise you forever."

Leah was quiet for a long time. "And, as you can see, I'm not with Jacob."

Emily sighed deeply. "I know. And…I'm sorry."

Leah shook her head. "Don't be. Like you said, it's my choice."

"I just wish that we didn't have to make these choices," Emily said, irritated suddenly at the world. This wasn't how she'd thought it would go when she started this conversation but then, Leah was the unpredictable one.

"Well, you've made your choice so there's nothing to be done there," Leah told her. "As for me…Well, I made my choice, too, but it's not going to be my only choice. I'll have to keep making that choice time and time again until one day I meet somebody and won't have to choose."

"Someday," Emily echoed, hoping with all her might that that 'someday' came sooner than Leah seemed to expect because she deserved happiness more than anyone else Emily had ever met. "And who knows? Someday it may even be Jacob."

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