Say Something

Summery: It wasn't the first time the General had used his son as a punching bag, but it was the first time in a long time that Sam thought that things might turn out okay.

This was another 'I started writing and this is what happened' story. Enjoy!

Warnings: Child Abuse – though nothing overly graphic.

It started when his sister was killed.

After the ambulance lights had faded away and Sam stood there alone with his father in the hospital waiting room. The look on the General's face said it all – disappointment and hate both directed at his only son.

It was the moment when the General stopped seeing Sam as his son. Instead Sam became something else – something worthless.

A target.

Sam had still been in shock after a man had gently informed him his sister was dead.

His sister. She had been so excited to go to the park, so alive one moment and gone the next. Like a flame that flickered out her life had been taken away in a blink of an eye. He would never be able to take back that moment of his life. Never be able to make up for his most regretted mistake.

If only he had died instead.

His father wished it openly.

"You were standing right next to her." The General spoke finally, sharp eyes cut deep into Sam's cracking soul. "Did you not hear the car swerving? Did you not see something was off with the driver? Where was your head? Where were you?"

Sam stared back at his father, mouth hanging open but unable to offer an answer. What had he done? Had he noticed something off? Could he have prevented his sister's death, pulled her out of the way? Sam replayed the situation in his mind again and again with no definitive answers.

"Say something, Samuel."

There was nothing to say.

"You're sister is dead."

He felt like he was drowning. Tears burned behind his blue eyes, sobs built up in his chest making it impossible to breathe. "I-I'm sorry." Sam managed the watery words.

The General's eyes turned to stone. "That's not good enough."

That night was the first time Sam's father beat his son senseless.

Sam had spent most of his life looking for redemption. Searching for a way to atone for his mistakes. The General had been pleased when Sam had decided to join the military. It was the first choice Sam had made that his father approved of since his sisters tragic death.

Sam took pride in his abilities as a sniper – he was one of the best. He never had expected his skill would betray him in the cruelest of ways, but it did.

"Who was it?" Sam choked out over the comm. when Cameron announced someone was down under friendly firer. His bullet had killed a friend.

"Matt's down," Cameron answered, stealing Sam's world away. There was no breath to breathe, everything fell apart – broke away. Suddenly Sam was back on the sidewalk and his sister was being ripped away from him.

Dead. He had just killed his best friend. His bullet. His friend. Dead. Gone.

It was his fault.

Sam had failed again.

"Sam, do you copy?" Cameron called over the line. "Sam, we need to regroup. Sam? Say something!"

"I copy," Sam whispered back finally. "I copy."

The General was not thrilled when he heard Sam had given up his military career.

"You will go back." His father commanded loudly; his son was still in uniform standing in the living room. Sam had only just come home – tears still stained his face from the funeral. His best friend's funeral. The friend he'd killed with his bullet. "You will suck up your emotions and be a man."

"Dad – " Sam tried to get the older man to understand. He didn't want to go back there. If he returned Sam knew he would be a walking target and a liability to his unit. Sam wanted to give it all up – throw his life away. He couldn't do that and risk other people's lives. Sam didn't want any more blood on his hands.

"No." General Braddock interrupted firmly. "You will do as I say."

Silently Sam picked up his bag and shook his head silently. "You can yell all you want, sir, but I'm not going back." Sam was well aware what his tone was asking for, but in the moment he truly believed he deserved it.

Fists rained down.

Sam left when he could see straight and didn't look back.

It was a dream that kept Sam from taking his own life. Matt was there, sitting with him in a park as his sister played on a swing set.

"I can't do this." Sam confessed. "I can't live like this."

Matt made a scoffing noise. "Yeah you can, Sam. And you will."

"I killed you. I let my sister die – "

"You were given bad orders and despite what your father would like you to believe, you had no control over what happened to your sister, man." Matt interrupted. "If you're going to punish yourself then do it productively. Your death isn't going to bring us back, Sam. Stay alive – make a difference. Make your life better. Find a new place – make a new Samuel Braddock. Save lives to make up for the ones you couldn't save."

The words stayed in Sam's mind and convinced Sam to do just that.

After making some calls Sam found his new life working with the SRU. After a rocky start things started to fall into place. He had friends again and his father kept his distance.

Of course nothing lasts.

The day Jules got shot Sam realized he would never be able to protect the people he loved. No matter how much good he did he would always fail. Sam would always be forced to stand and watch as the people around him fell.

Sam didn't run away this time, he didn't lose his voice – he stayed and fought to hang onto the world he had created. Jules, though injured had not died and it gave Sam a new purpose.

He could fix her.

Step by step Sam was there for her as she recovered – Jules own personal cheerleader.

Just when Sam thought things would return to normal she turned on him. In that restaurant she broke his still healing heart and asked him to choose. Her love or his ability to save lives, to atone for those he couldn't save.

Sam had told the team he needed time off to 'search' his soul. Going home wasn't about finding himself – it was about finding the punishment he felt he deserved.

It didn't take much to set off his father, a snide remark, blatantly refusing to rejoin the military did the trick. The General hit low, decorating Sam's chest in deep black and blue. Keeping things nice and hidden.

When he returned to the SRU Sam didn't say a word. He felt better in a twisted way, more in control.

Things went back to normal bit by bit – and then Lewis died.

Sam had known as soon as Spike announced the landmine type how the scene was going to play out.

When the explosion sounded and the screams started Sam couldn't handle it – he had to walk away. Pulling off his gloves Sam slammed his fist into the nearest hard surface. He let the pain reassure his mind that he was still alive.

Another name was added to his list.

This time he didn't have to go looking for his father – the General came looking for his son.

When Sam had opened up his apartment door he had expected Ed. The older man had texted him a few times in the days that followed the funeral. Sam hadn't responded. Team One had been given two weeks to morn – it wouldn't be enough. A lifetime wouldn't give them enough time to recover from a friend's death.

His father didn't greet him, instead he pushed passed his son and into the apartment.

"Dad." Sam stared after the older man, shutting the door slowly. "What are you doing here?"

"I was at a conference near by and heard the news," The General spoke, hands folded behind his back as he turned his gaze to his son. "I thought I'd check in on you, for your mother."

Sam's mother kept the Braddock men updated on one another's activities – trying to mend the rift between them. Sam was pretty sure it was a lost cause.

"I'm fine." Sam wanted the man to leave, for once he wasn't looking for punishment. His heart hurt enough – he didn't want physical pain as well.

"Watch your tone." The General's eyes narrowed. "I also heard about your teammate, tragic."

Sam's heart bled, but he reigned in his emotions in front of his father. "It was." He managed as an answer.

"Perhaps now you'll consider returning to the military." General Braddock pushed.

Something inside Sam snapped after hearing his father's words. "How would that help Lewis now? It won't change the fact that he's dead. That Matt died. That Am — "

His sister's name was cut off when a fist connected with his jaw. Sam fell – dark fireworks exploding in his vision as he hit the ground.

"Don't you ever say her name." His father growled from somewhere close by.

A foot slammed down on Sam's ribs.

There were two more painful hits before a sound drifted to Sam's ears that didn't belong.

A crash of a door being forced in and then the start of verbal confrontation, "What the hell is going on here?"

Ed.

Sam's eyes fluttered open to look up at his team leader.

"Who do you think you are?" The General demanded, halting his son's punishment to face the interloper.

"I'm his friend, who the hell do you think you are?" Ed shot back, not hesitating as he moved to Sam's side. The downed man stared up at Ed silently, beyond shocked that he had come – that he had seen this.

"His father. You have no right – "

"If you don't leave now I'll have you arrested for assault. Hell, I might arrest you anyway." Ed hissed back, showing no fear as he interrupted the General.

Sam stared up at his father, watching the angry cloud cast a dark shadow over the General's face. In the moment Sam was afraid that his father might actually attack Ed, but instead Sam's father left.

Ice filled Sam's vein's as Ed stared down at him.

Silence. It was like the world had frozen. Neither man moved, Ed didn't speak or push Sam to speak.

Finally Ed reached forward and helped Sam sit up. "You good?"

Sam nodded, his lips forming a tight line of pain.

"Sam?" Ed questioned, catching the younger man's eyes. "Talk to me. Say something, Sam." It was a quiet plea, not a command.

Sam couldn't hold his gaze.

Ed didn't back down, staying close and remaining supportive.

"Did you know that I'm cursed?" Sam spoke finally, voice devoid of emotions.

"Cursed with a bastard for a father?" Ed let a fraction of his anger leak out in his words.

Sam shook his head, looking at his friend and mentor. "People around me die. No matter how hard I try, all I can do is watch."

Sam's words sparked surprise in Ed's eyes, "Sam – Lewis – there was nothing any of us could do."

"I could have done more." Sam snapped, tearing his eyes away. "I should have heard the car. I should have checked my scope. I should have left her side. I could have done so much more."

"Sam," Ed spoke after a beat. "You are not cursed and you are not alone."

It wasn't the first time the General had used his son as a punching bag, but it was the first time in a long time that Sam thought that things might turn out okay.

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Thanks for reading!