Sasuke slept. He slept in pain, his own mind torturing him worse then Itachis Mangekyou could ever. Mental agony is the worst type of pain known to man. Such agony can make a man wish to take his own life. It overides the strongest instinct man possesses. The survival instinct.
Sasuke jerked awake, and lay there, listining to the rain pounding down on the roof. The metal roof amplified the sound, and it reverberated around the small hut. Sasuke did not open his eyes. How could he? Why bother? There was no point.
It was the middle of the night. A single ray of moonlight illuminated the small hut, streaming in through the one window the house possesed. It was a simple house, with a table, kitchen, and bed all in the same room. As Sasuke lay there, eyes closed tightly, he felt a few tears leak through his locked eyes.
Allways the same. Every time he woke up.
What was the point of crying? He had nothing to cry for. Not anymore. No one or nothing. If there was nothing, what was the point of doing something.
After lying there a few hours, Sasuke finally decided to get himself some food. Not that he wanted to, but starving was uncomfterable, and that, at least, was something.
He dragged himself out of bed, and dragged himself over to the stove.
It was dawn, and the sun was just starting to rise above the horizon. The sky glinted in the newly found glow, as if it had never seen it before. The birds started to chirp at there newfound warmth, and dust from the wind glinted in the sun.
Sasuke looked, standing there for a few minutes. This was the only time of day he actually liked. He could let his mind separate from his heart, and logically enjoy the natural beauty of the world. The only time of day that his mind could escape his heart.
As the new day started, his mind reunited with his heart. He sighed, and looked down, stirring the stew he was cooking. He watched the way the stew swirled rhythmically in the pot. Round and round, swirling in towards the center, but never reaching it. The gray clashed, and separated from the ground, with the meat floating around like little islands.
Sasuke was always torn in half. His mind was desperately trying to separate itself from his heart, which was constantly overpowering his mind. His mind would try to see something in nothing. The fact that everything was nothing had come from his heart. His mind tried to see something, in what his heart said was nothing. The mind seeked a reason, the heart had given up. The reason his mind haven't, was that it was not the logical thing to do. His heart was constantly winning.
That is why his mind was trying to separate from his heart. The emptiness of everything being nothing.
Alone.
As his stew finished cooking, Sasuke got a bowl from the cupboard, and slopped some stew into it. He sat down at the table, and began to eat, all the while staring out the window at the new day. Who cares?
His mind found relief in distraction. His heart found relief in not having to listen to his mind.
But today, after breakfast, Sasuke did something that surprised even himself. He picked up a pen, and began to write. It was his heart that did the writing.
Dear brother.
Twice you have taken away all reason I have to remain on this earth. The first time you convinced me that revenge was something to stay for. And I believed you. I believed you with all my heart, and I hated you. I did just what you said, yet revenge was not to be mine. You died before I could kill you. You were killed in a meaningless action of self defense, and by that, you once again took away my reason to live, however weak it
was in the first place.
I gave up everything for you.
why did you take away everything?
People like us see the world for what it really is. An illusion. Empty and cold. Friendship? love? All things we have invented to blind ourselves from the reality of our pointless existence. You proved to me that everything is pointless. Then what is the point of power? If I had been left with my family, would it still just be an illusion? Truth..
Why?
As if coming out of a trance, he picked up the paper, and read the note. He read it with his mind, because his heart had written the letter in the first place.
It is a funny thing, not being able to agree with yourself. When two parts of yourself are fighting for dominance, one feels strangely split. Torn between yourself, not knowing if you are right or wrong, but convinced by the both parts that part of you is right. It is enough to drive many insane. Sasuke had probably been mildly insane for years. The thing is, that an insane person will think that he is sane. Sasuke, however, had long since stopped thinking, or caring about such trivial things.
What was the point... of living at all. Existence... Why? His heart was clear on this matter. There was no point. Living was pointless.
As the days passed by in the small hut, each the same as the other, Sasuke's mind gave up. He resigned himself to the will of his heart, and stopped looking for a reason. There was none. The beautiful and bright sunsets that his mind had once found refuge and comfort in, gradually took less and less meaning. The sun came up, and he just didn't care. He just sat there, in his small cabin, brooding. The battle was pretty much won. His mind was setting up something that seemed like mental gurilja warfare. Sometimes, he would think differently, or look at the rising sun, and smirk. But such moments were rare, and were followed by hours of dark meaninglessness. Each day was no different from the last. But his mind was not completely out yet, and it was still effecting him, even though he didn't notice it. One thing, Sasuke had started to do differently. During the long hours and dark days, Sasuke had produced an impressive collection of drawings, paintings, and sketches. He had actually become quite good at it. Not that he cared. He merely dismissed it as pastime, not daring to look for any deeper meaning within himself. He was quite frankly afraid of what he would find if he started digging.
The human mind is a strange thing. If it is convinced of something, it will believe it, even if significant evidence is given to prove the opposite. It will deny common sense and logic, and create its own world, were everything is exactly like it thinks. Humans, unlike other creatures, have the ability to make themselves prisoners of there own minds. Mental captives. But… the human mind can never completely believe its own make-believe. The truth is nearly always there. If it was present once, it will always be there. Anything that passes through the mind, leaves its trace. You could never forget that you once were happy. You could just suppress it.
Sasuke sat by the table, staring at the wooden wall. It was raining again. He could hear the soft drops pattering against the roof. He felt the humid air, that leaked in through small holes in the wall. ¨
Sasuke had not been outside the house for a whole week. His food supply was running low, and he had no water left. In fact, he had not eat or drunk anything for at least 25 hours. Most of the time, he had just been sitting here, staring a hole in the wall. Soon, he would have to go get some water, and some food. But what was the point? To keep himself existing? Huh… a lot of good it had done him so far.
He jerked out of his chair, and stood up. Crossing the wooden hut in a few strides, he grabbed a big bucket. Carrying the bucket over to the door, he pulled his boots on, and opened the door.
It had stopped raining. The clouds were starting to thin out, and here and there a patch of sunlight was visible. The warm air was humid, and the water carried the smell of the forest. He trudged along the forest path, not noticing the rainbow in front of him.
After walking along a descending forest path for about five minutes, the sound of running water met his ears. Turning around a bend in the path, the path widened out to reveal a small valley. He was standing on a cliff, looking down into it.
The whole valley was bathed in sunlight. The green trees glittered in the sunlight, and a sparkling river was flowing down the middle of it. On the opposite side of the valley, the glittering trees rose to meet another cliff. On his left, a steep path zigzagged its way down into the valley. The riverbank was covered in sand, and the river flowed rapidly, making whitcaps and whirlpools on the water. The sunlight danced on the water, while the trees started to sway in the weak wind that was blowing up.
I just wrote this because i wanted to write something depressing : ) Im not even sure if ill finish it...
Hope you enjoy, May be updating soon...
Abscon