So, this kind of just popped into my head. I adore Shannon Moore. You could probably tell that one from Extreme Training... Heheh. But, anyway... I also love this song, and I thought it was a bit fitting with him, from a certain standpoint. Anyway, I own none of these characters. They're the WWE and Vince McMahon's. I know nothing of their personal lives. The song also is not mine, it is called "Goodbye For Now" by P.O.D. No copyright intended.

I walked into the locker room after I lost, and I could tell from Matt's face that he felt bad for me. I was supposed to win. But that didn't mean anything. Cody Rhodes wouldn't lose to me. Not now, not ever. I just shook my head and sat on a bench, put my head in my hands. Yeah, I was mad. Wouldn't you be? But that didn't matter either.

I felt his arm go over my shoulders, and I looked up at him through the sides of one hand. He was smiling at me, in a way that was strangely comforting after all we'd been through.

I sighed, closing my eyes, and leaned toward him. He was my best friend. He made me feel better about something stupid.

Pulling my hands away from my face, I smiled at him, and stood. "Thanks, Matt."

He just nodded. I grabbed my bag and high-tailed it out of the arena. Easier to shower in a hotel room, away from the laughs of the guys who knew I was too weak to beat that damned Cody Rhodes.

Stepping out of my car, I eyed the hotel in front of me tiredly. It was just like the last one, just as boring, just as plain. Nothing special.

Sighing, I took the elevator up to the room Matt and I were sharing and dropped my stuff, heading immediately for the bathroom. I locked both the door to the room and the one to the bathroom before I started taking off the tape on my arm. It came off slowly, revealing reddened marks and scars. Shaking my head, I undressed and stepped into the shower.

After a few minutes of the warm water running over me, I reached up to the top shelf of the shower. It was a good thing Matt never checked these things. I always put my razor up there. Taking down the glinting silver blade, I brought it to my arm, choosing the spot I'd do carefully. It could be covered by my sleeves, and later by tape, so no one would see it. Not even Matt. Drawing it across my skin, I let out a sigh of relief. The feeling of it parting was something I'd always found strangely calming. Since I started in the WWE, it was my greatest sense of relief.

I heard the hotel room door open then, and realized Matt must be home. Quickly, I slid the razor back to its shelf and grabbed the shampoo. I showered quick and left the bathroom shortly after, wearing baggy pajama pants and a long sleeve black tee-shirt.

When I walked out, Matt was laying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He hadn't put any music on yet, so I reached for my C.D. case, figuring out that tonight was my choice. I pulled out the mix that had both his and my favorite songs on it and put it in the radio, then pressed play.

The brunette looked up at me with a bit of a smile. "You doin' okay, Shan?"

I smiled back at him, holding my arm to my stomach. "Yeah. I'm good."

And I wasn't lying. Even after everything that had happened, I was okay. Because when your best friend's there with you, and doesn't see how messed up you are, you feel a lot better than if they know. Or if they're not there at all.

I can still see the light
at the end of the tunnel shine
through the dark times
even when I lose my mind

I walked into the arena to get ready for that night when Stephanie came up to me. She smiled in a way that told me I wasn't going to like what she said. "Ah, Shannon, just who I was looking for." I just raised an eyebrow and she continued. "Listen, after last week, I'm sure you're set to get your hands on Rhodes again. But... well, Cody won't face you again. He flat out refused. So, I've set you up a match with Paul London tonight. He's more... high-flying than Rhodes is. And then you'll be set to find a tag partner, and maybe you'll find yourself with a title shot. Tag partner assumed to be Matt, we'll have a pay-per-view title shot with you two together again!" Her voice feigned excitement.

I looked at her, confused, for a moment before shaking my head. "But, wait, we agreed when I came back that I wasn't gonna be teaming with Matt again. You said I'd get to be on my own again!"

Stephanie's smile didn't falter, though her tone changed. "Shannon, this is a great opportunity for you. You've never been in a situation like this one. If you win this, you'll get a title shot. With one of your best friends. And you won't be 'The Reject' anymore. You'll be a member of XTreme Punk."

Still shaking my head, I looked down at my feet. "But, we agreed..." I mumbled. Her face started to fall into that angry look she must have inherited from her father. I spoke up quickly. "Okay, Mrs. McMahon, okay. I'll do it."

I walked away, toward the locker room, and she sent a comment over to me. "You made the right choice, Shannon! Sticking with Matt's the best thing you can do!"

I opened the door to the locker room and slammed it shut behind me. Matt looked up from where he stood, surprised to see me looking angry. He raised a questioning eyebrow, and I just shook my head. "Don't ask."

He nodded, walked over and put a hand on my shoulder briefly, and went back to getting ready. I slammed my bag on the bench, reached in for the tape, and turned away from him. Last thing I needed was for Matt to see what being in his shadow caused.

But it feels like no one
in the world is listening
and I can't ever seem
to make the right decisions

I lost. Again. And I was pissed. I didn't even stop when Matt tried to ask me what was wrong. I just walked out to my car and took off.

I drove around for a bit before going back to the hotel. Matt was outside waiting for me. I should've known he would be. But I ignored that fact. He came up, concern on his face, and walked with me up to our room. He could tell I was pissed. But whether I won or lost, the storyline was going. Matt beat Kendrick, and next week we traded matches, and then we wrestled together. Again.

Sighing, I shook my head and laid back on my bed for a minute. Matt sat on the edge, looking down at me. He ran a hand through my hair. "You really didn't want this storyline, huh?"

I shook my head. "But it's fine, Matty. I'll work with it."

He smiled, and I stood to go shower. "I gotta go clean up. I'll be out soon."

Another shower, another mark to add to the collection. When they're in such close proximity, they get hard to hide. But I didn't care. I needed this. It was my drug.

When I came out, Matt was already half asleep. He'd put on a c.d. with our old entrances on it. I laid back on my bed, looking at my nails. They needed a new coat of black. Then I glanced at the tattoos on my torso. I traced the outline of a new one to go under my 2-B-ME logo.

He looked over at me with a sigh. "You sure you're okay with this, Shan?"

I looked at him for a moment, then put on my usual smile, the one that hid everything behind it. "Yeah, I'm sure Matty. It'll be fun working with you again."

I walk around in the same haze
I'm still caught in my same ways
I'm losing time in these strange days
but somehow I always know
the right things to say

Stephanie set me up for a win this time. But it was a cheap win. Matt came out after, introduced the new team of XTreme Punk, to be in action next week. Usual showmanship. Rough on me, even with a win. Like going back to Mattitude again.

Backstage he apologised. Told me Steph told him to do that. Bring it back to where I started. I hate that. I'm not the little kid I was back then. I won't be.

We'd taken the plane this morning, and I showered at the arena for once instead of waiting to get back. Besides, I had to wait for Matt anyway, since he drove. When we got to the hotel, I just laid on the bed on my side of the room, pulling off my wristbands. I forgot I wasn't wearing tape.

Matt grabbed my arm when he saw it, turned it over, and looked up at me, surprise evident in his features. He traced over the newest mark with a finger, then over the most prominent of the others. I pulled my arm back, pulling it to my stomach. He sighed. "Why, Shan?"

I shrugged. "I couldn't deal with it, Matty. If you..." I couldn't finish the thought. It would hurt him more if I did than if I just left him in the dark.

He laid down next to me, reaching for my arm again. He pulled it out over his stomach, still tracing the scars. I think he understood. But he would never admit that. He couldn't. "How long?"

I looked at him. "Since Mattitude." Guilt evident on his face, I shook my head. "No, Matty, it wasn't you! It was..." I couldn't answer. I wasn't sure what drove me to it. I just couldn't stop.

I don't know what time it is
or whose the one to blame for this
Do I believe what I can't see
And how do you know
which way the wind blows

Hearing the crowd chant my name is a great thing. Especially when I get to make the pin. I'd never made the pin when I wrestled with Matt. But that night, I was guaranteed it. He didn't want to make it. He never wanted to make it.

I smiled out at them when I hit my corkscrew senton, the Halo. Similar to Jeff's Whisper in the Wind, but still uniquely mine. And when the bell rang, he took the glory spot. I didn't care. I'd won a match.

I started off happy that night when we got back to the hotel. I wanted to drink. I hadn't had a drink in a while. So, Matt paid. We were buzzed when we went upstairs, deciding not to risk hangovers when we had house matches the next night. He sat at the foot of the bed while I leaned on the headboard. We listened to music at first, but then the phone rang. It was Stephanie. "Yeah, Stephanie? Shannon! Perfect! Listen, since you got that pin last night, Matt's gonna pin them tomorrow. We're going back to a Mattitude-like attitude with you two. Got it?" I sighed. "Yeah, Steph. I got it." She hung up without a goodbye.

Cause I can feel it all around
I'm lost between the sound
And just when I think
I know, there she goes

Weeks passed. Mattitude was back, just with a new name. XTreme Punk was a dominating tag team. We won almost every match. We got the titles. But I was the bitch again. I was beat not only in the ring by my opponents, but by Matt for the storylines after. Whether we won or lost. I couldn't do well enough.

But like last time, I just smiled. I bore with it, dealing with everything in time. Matt checked my arms from time to time. So I changed my spot. My legs were a good place. No one ever saw those.

I blocked Matt out after a while. The shows stopped mattering to me. All I wanted was to go home. Jeff seemed so much happier when he was there. What if I just left with him one day? I shook the thought from my head. This is my life. I needed it.

Matt started to notice I was growing distant again. He'd try to talk to me, but I couldn't. I was going silent. I was losing myself. To my cutting. It was everything. I needed it. Or I would die.

By that time, I bet everyone in the locker room knew. Mostly because Matt and I fought over it one day. I hate how much he knows me sometimes. But I love him. He's my best friend. He wouldn't do this to hurt me. I just kept telling myself that, while everyone watched me sinking farther and farther downhill.

We're still smilin as the day goes by
and how come nobody
ever knows the reasons why
Burry you deep so far
you can't see
If you're like me
who wears a broken
heart on your sleeve

We were back in Cameron for a few days, so Jeff came to see us. Well, more to see me, apparently. Matt ran off to see everyone from the old neighborhood, while me and Jeff went to my tattoo place, to get ones filled in. To only ours and Shane's knowledge, we had matching tattoos on the backs of our necks. No one ever noticed them. It was our old symbol. Time to get it filled.

When we were done, we went back to his house and sat by his pool. He glanced at my covered arms for a second. "Still goin', huh Shanny?"

I sighed. "Yeah. I guess."

He shook his head, but lifted his own arm. "I know whatcha mean."

There, matching my newest, were a few of his own. Jeff had stopped for a long time. I felt immediately bad. "Why? What happened?"

He looked down. "Before I decided to take time off..." I nodded. He didn't have to say anymore. Like me, wrestling had been everything for him. But then his eyes got a spark in them. "Ya know, I used to use wrestling as my life. But lookin' back on it now, I see somethin' I never saw before. It wasn't hard to leave. It was hard to get past it and find somethin' else."

I looked up at him with a smile. "So..."

He laughed a bit. "You gotta figure out that part, Shanny. That's your decision."

Pains is troubles that
you know so well
Either time don't
It can't or you just won't tell
I'm not the type to say
I told you so
I think the hardest part
of holding on is lettin it go

We were back in the ring again, practicing for the next match. I looked over at Matt, who was tensed to fight, and put my arms down. He looked at me, confused. "I quit."

His eyes went wide. "What?"

"I quit." I've never thought those words would taste so sweet. It had been a few days since my conversation with Jeff, and I knew what I had to do.

"Why?" He looked so hurt.

I walked over to him. "Because, if I don't get out of here now, I won't be here to finish this line, Matty. I... I gotta go away for a while."

"But... this is your life Shanny! What about that?" He put his hands on my shoulders.

I looked down. "I know it's my life. But... There's more than this. I just have to find it. I won't be gone forever. Just for a while. 'Til we're singin' a new song in here." My eyes went back up to him, and I saw an understanding in them that I'd never seen before. I smiled, hugged him, and started for the door. "Goodbye, for now, Matty."

And I went home, to Cameron. To finally get out of the shadow of Mattitude. To stop the pain. And stop it did.

Goodbye for now (I'm no the type to say I told you so)
Goodbye for now
So long(I think the hardest part of holdin on is lettin it go)
When will we sing
A new song
A new song

So, there's another little one-shot. Any one-shots I've done that you've liked, just let me know if you want to see a long version of it, and I'll make it better. =)