Great Kings of the Past, I humbly beseech you: Let this not be my Ballad Day.

Every meerkat hopes to be remembered for brave, heroic deeds, which are then recited as ballads during our song for digging tunnels. For example:

Bless the vigil of Iron Joe

Strongest nerves a meerkat could know

Stood sentry duty night and day

Warned us so we could get away

Saw each fox, jackal, bird, and snake

Ever alert, ever awake

But did job too well for colony's sake

Too long in sun caused brains to bake

Then of course there's an even more tragic verse about another hero:

Recall kindness of dear Maurice

Calmest meerkat who wanted peace

Wondered why all species must fight

Left the colony one dark night

Other colony wanted war

And of course he asked them, "What for?"

Beaten 'til he was helpless and sore

Let us speak of the dead no more

Then there's a personal friend of mine:

Mourn for Susan; then lament twice

Beloved meerkat for sacrifice

Saw sweet baby in jackal's jaws

Rushed to fight and lost both front paws

Fought until she saw jackal run

But was wounded; jackal still won

Baby was fine, no damage done

But an orphan by set of sun

You see, although every meerkat wishes to be remembered for heroism; so far, very few have managed to survive their attempts to improve our lives, and those who remain alive have lost their limbs and/or sanity. The ideal meerkat would strike a blow for freedom without paying a terrible price.

My plan is this: I will fight against one hyena, only one. Surely it will be so surprised to see a meerkat attacking it that the clan will leave our colony in peace. Rival colonies will respect us for our newfound liberty.

"Wha you do?" a young voice asks.

I smile at the child. "Well, Timon, I'm going to prove that no meerkat should have to hide. We should be free to live above ground as other species do without constantly scurrying to our burrows."

"No tunnew?" He seems amazed. "Wiv ou'tide?!"

"If my plan works, yes."

I wipe my paws off and climb out of the tunnel. Open air! Endless grasslands!

There's my target: a roving hyena. Now is my moment of glory. Grabbing a large stick, I slowly sneak up to my target. The other meerkats are watching in suspense, wanting to yell at me to forget this mission, but afraid to say anything, lest they cause the hyena to discover me.

All at once, I burst into action, mercilessly flaying the hyena. It doesn't know how to respond to my confidence and willingness to fight back. Now if only the rest of the colony will rally behind me, the hyenas will never dare to attack us again!

How foolish of me! How could I have forgotten?

While it is true that there are some nomadic hyenas, most live in large clans and hunt in smaller packs. However, even the smallest hyena pack is more than a match for the largest meerkat colony.

I hear their cruel laughter and staccato squeals surrounding me, and strong jaws pick me up, causing excruciation as my bones shatter. I bleed from severe puncture wounds from teeth that penetrate my flesh deeply enough to cause permanent damage to my internal organs.

Great Kings, I see now that it will not be me, but I beg you to have mercy on even your lowliest subjects. Send a deliverer who will save them from a life of hiding in the sand to avoid being eaten by predators, that they may ever sing his praises. Give him the courage never to stop trying, despite the odds against him, and grant him success against the same hyenas that now end my life.

The pressure of the jaws releases for the slightest moment so my executioner can get a better grip. I know the moment those jaws come back down, there will be a dreadful snap as my coup de grâce. All I can do now is…