Its been literally years. Am I still relevant? Am I less cringey than my teenage self? There's only one way to find out.
...
Jason felt the scream before he heard it, the way dogs can tell when an earthquake is coming, the way rats desert a plague ship.
"Aaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiheeeeelp!"
Jason dropped his book and was off the grimy front steps of the apartment building, running to the left and around the corner just in time to tackle the high schooler chasing his younger brother, the collision causing an audible 'crack' of colliding heads.
"Screw you," gasped the high schooler, a kid well dressed enough for Jason to assume he went to a different school. "The twerp was following me and my girl."
"Her boyfriend hired me too," said Tim, cradling his camera to his chest and talking a few steps towards his brother, as Jason stood up. "thirty bucks to get pictures of her cheating on him."
Jason looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Payment when you get to the pics or before?"
Tim dug into his pocket and came up with a handful of ones and fives. "Half now, half when I give him the photos."
Jason grinned. "Nice work!"
The kid on the ground staggered to his feet. "Hey man-"
"Who says twerp?" Jason interrupted, turning his attention to him with a glare.
"What?"
Jason took a step forward. "You called my brother a twerp, Wally Cleaver. Who the hell says that? My guess right now is some middle class idiot who thinks it's ok to help a girl cheat on her boyfriend, which I don't think is very nice."
The kid help up his hands. "Hey, I was just trying to scare away your little stalker there, I don't want any trouble man. Just keep him away from me and Anna."
Jason shrugged. "Whatever. Don't go near my brother again or I swear I'll tear your arms off. Titans for tat."
The kid looked confused as he backed up. "uh, yeah. Sure."
Jason grabbed Tim's arm and pulled him out of the Ally back towards their house.
"Ow!" complained Tim, half-heartedly.
Jason rolled his eyes. "I'm not even hurting you. Did he get you before you got the pictures?"
"Of course not," said Tim, sounding insulted. He sat down on the steps as they reached him, moving to the side so Jason could join him. "I'm not the world's greatest detective for nothing."
"That's Batman."
"Not for long," Tim fiddled with his camera for a bit then passed it to Jason, the screen showing two teenagers making out in a park.
Jason whistled. "Nice shot, I like the bushes in the corner there, really adds that stalker vibe you're so well known for."
Tom snatched his camera back. "But at least I'm a well paid stalker. You're an under paid car their!"
Jason clutched his chest. "Low blow! You've wounded me, and my empty wallet."
Tim shrugged. "we can't all be entrepreneurs."
"Buy my loyalty back" Jason said, shifting his weight so he was (lightly) crushing Tim.
"How about…" Tim shoved his shoulder into Jason's side, trying to push him off, while reaching into his pocket with the other hand to pull out a five dollar bill. "Chilli dogs?"
Jason stood up, taking the money from Tim. "Chilli dogs it is!"