This is in the second person, which I don't think I've ever written in before, so the concept was new to me. I hope it reads smoothly, and you can tell who is being referred to. =)
Also, this isn't really as much of a Callie/Erica fic, as it is a "what happens after" fic. But their relationship is mentioned.
The first time you see her you're at Mercy West with that new cardio woman you hate. The two of you are there to pick up a donor heart, and it it weren't for your career, you would have declined the task immediately.
Dr. Dixon is horrible. She has Asperger's Syndrome, and though you know you should be sympathetic, you find her unbearable. But your future in cardio depends on practice, so you agreed to come along and bear the burden of her company.
You're walking down the hallway with Dr. Dixon when someone you recognize rounds the corner ahead, making you stop dead in your tracks. Dr. Dixon passes you by a few steps before realizing you're no longer walking.
"Dr. Yang?" she asks, looking at you curiously. "Dr. Yang, we are here to get a heart." As though you would forget, you think, as inwardly you cringe at the sound of her voice. You wish she would disappear, but you also know that as long as she works for Seattle Grace, you're stuck with her. Silently cursing your choice in specialty, you tell her that you'll catch up. She gives you a strange look before moving on, and you can tell that this is driving her mad, because she likes everything 'just so,' and 'just so' happens to be her way or no way. But she leaves, and that's all that really matters as you hurry forward to meet the person who caught your attention a few seconds before.
She looks up just before you reach her, and when she spots you, her eyes widen and she turns to head in the opposite direction. You call for her to wait, and she stops abruptly, slowly turning around. Your eyes lock for the first time in months, and you are surprised.
At first glance, she looked exactly the same as the last time you saw her, save for the red scrubs she now wears again. But now that you're closer, you can tell that she's different. The changes are so slight that no one would notice except you, and maybe some of the other people who worked by her side every day at Seattle Grace. But they're there, and you can see them as plain as day.
Her hair no longer hangs in bouncy curls. Instead, it's pulled back, with loose strands frizzing around her face like she just doesn't care anymore. She looks tired in a way that is almost unnoticeable, as though she's been hiding it successfully ever since she left Seattle Grace, and it's just now beginning to seep through.
As you approach, she fidgets as though she's trying to decide whether or not to make a break for it and lose you within hallways you're unfamiliar with. But in the end, she stays put, and you stop in front of her. You stare at each other, and though a few months ago you would have been down on your knees begging her to come back, now you're not so sure. As the two of you stand facing one another, you realize that you have no more to say to her than she does to you, and the realization of that almost hurts, though you never really talked before.
You are saved when Dr. Dixon appears again, telling you in her strange, disjointed way that you need to get going. It's bothering her that you're not doing exactly as she says, and somehow, you find that you get a small amount of pleasure from making her uncomfortable. You let her squirm for a moment, before turning to follow her, your plan being to leave this past behind once and for all. But something occurs to you, and you whirl around, again facing the woman who once made your life hell, but now seems to have lost her edge.
"She's slowly recovering, you know," you say to her, and you can tell from the pain in her eyes that she knows exactly who you're talking about. "It's a long, hard process, but she's improving." You step closer, and she takes a small step backwards, showing her defeat in one tiny movement. "But sometimes, I come into the apartment to find her crying over some note you wrote her, or a picture you two took together. She's recovering, but she was hurt deeply by what happened. The recovery time from something like this is long, painful, and slow. I know first hand." You start to turn away, but pause, no longer able to look at her when you speak. "Callie misses you, Dr. Hahn. She's not the same anymore."
You catch up with Dr. Dixon, who is staring between you and your previous mentor with a look of mild shock on her face. She doesn't know who this woman with the blonde hair and red scrubs is; that once she was your teacher, and although she was downright mean to you, she was better than Dr. Dixon could ever hope to be. She taught you to be strong, and to fight for what you wanted. But it doesn't matter, because really, you don't know her anymore either. Because you're strong now, and she's a mere shell of who she once was.
Things will never be the same, but that's how life is. People change and move on, and sometimes get hurt in the process. Sometimes they never recover, and they form a barrier around their heart that gets a little harder, and a little harder, until finally, they shut themselves off entirely. But every time pressure is put on that barrier, it cracks a little, until in the end, it breaks entirely.
Callie is broken, and now you know that Dr. Hahn is also broken. Looking at yourself, you realize that maybe you're still a little broken too. But you've endured the long, hard road to recovery, and come out better. You think maybe Callie and Dr. Hahn can follow that road too, but you won't count on it.
You don't think you'll ever get used to the absence of a bouncy Callie nearly burning down the house while trying to make dinner for herself and Dr. Hahn, or looking down from the gallery and not seeing the ugly polka-dotted scrub cap you'd gotten so accustomed to. But while people change, they can also adjust, and you feel that you're adjusting, no matter how slowly.
Times change, people change, and you've changed. And now, you don't look back as you follow Dr. Dixon into the OR, and into your future. Dr. Erica Hahn is in your past, and you've moved on.