Of Popular Kids and Dorks
"So, Dee, I talked to Nazz yesterday," Kevin began carefully.
"Oh?" Edd asked, looking at Kevin strangely. His boyfriend's tone was nervous, which made Edd wonder. Why would Kevin be nervous telling him about talking to Nazz? She was Kevin's best friend, after all.
"Yeah," Kevin drawled out. "She mentioned something for school."
The pair were lounging on the couch in Kevin's basement media room, watching Avengers: Civil War. They sat pressed up against each other and had a blanket draped over them. It was near the end of January, a week after the winter festival they had all attended. A snowstorm had canceled classes on Friday and Edd had spent the night once again at Kevin's. It was much less awkward this time, even when Kevin crawled atop Edd to kiss on him before they fell asleep. Edd insisted they remain apart while they slept, even though Kevin tried to convince Edd to spoon.
"What did Nazz mention, Kevin?"
"She wants Eddy to sit with her at lunch. She's actually wanted that for awhile, but I guess she wanted to see if things were gonna stay good between them."
Edd hummed to himself, "Well, that does make sense, as they are a couple."
"She wants you and Ed to as well."
Edd didn't respond. Kevin turned his head to look at his boyfriend and saw that he was staring at the TV screen. He was also frowning.
"Dee?"
"Why would she want that?"
"You and Ed are Eddy's friends. She also knows that I want you to sit with me. She figures it wouldn't look weird if all of you sat with us."
"Kevin, social hierarchy dictates that none of us should sit with the popular kids."
"That's a load of bullshit, Edd, and you know it."
"Language, Kevin," Edd automatically remonstrated, then continued after Kevin grunted in acknowledgment. "It is not a load of what you said. I cannot even imagine what some of your friends would say if the Eds and I joined your table."
"I don't care what they say. Eddy is Nazz's boyfriend, and you and Ed are our friends. There's no reason that you shouldn't sit with us," Kevin said patiently. He had known that Edd would not readily accept this idea.
"There are a million reasons, Kevin. The first of which being that your friends will be angry at having three dorks sitting among them." Kevin cringed at Edd's bitterness.
"Dee," he tried to say in a reasonable tone, "if those guys object to it, I guess they aren't my friends. Simple as that. Who gives a sh-crap if they're angry? They can go sit somewhere else."
"Kevin…"
"No. Look, I know that you have anxiety about all of this. About how people at school will see you. But you honestly don't have to be anxious about it. You're just sitting at our table. You got along with them alright at the festival last week. Didn't we have fun?"
"I did have fun, Kevin, but what if someone figures it out about us?"
"How will they? They'll only see that Nazz's boyfriend is sitting there and brought his friends. They didn't care that you all were there at the festival," Kevin said. Then after a moment, he tried again. "Or we could just come out and let everyone know. No more hiding."
Kevin expected the anxious glare from Edd at that. "That would not be a good idea, Kevin. I am not ready for that."
Kevin sighed. "I know. I don't fully understand why, but I know."
Edd's arms crossed and his whole body stiffened as he sat up straighter on the couch and pulled his body heat away from Kevin, who regretted saying anything. Edd's eyes stared straight ahead at the TV and he didn't answer.
Kevin leaned against him, "Dee, don't be mad at me," he pleaded. "It's just, I'm ready. I want people to know. I'm so happy with you and I want to be able to show you that at school and everywhere. I'm proud of what we have."
Edd closed his eyes, though his body posture didn't relent. "I am proud of what we have, too, Kevin. I am happy beyond belief with you. I am just not ready to let others know. Please understand."
"I'm trying, sweetheart, I am. Don't be mad," he repeated, leaning his head on Edd's stiff shoulder. "Don't worry, I won't say anything if you're not ready. I just want you to know that I am. I want to be honest with you about everything."
He felt Edd's posture slacken and then a kiss on his head. "I know, Kevin. I know. Just please do not think I like you any less or that I am not happy with you just because I am reluctant about this."
"I know," Kevin responded, then tilted his head up for a real kiss. The movie was soon forgotten.
Edd had never paid much attention to the table at which Kevin sat every day at school. For sure, he paid attention to Kevin and knew that Nazz and Rolf sat there, but he didn't really note who else did. Edd knew it was one of the larger tables and, upon inquiring, Kevin told him that Jake, Ben, and Joel also sat there every day. The other seats fluctuated. Ben's girlfriend, Angel, often sat there when she wasn't in club meetings, as did a couple of Nazz's cheerleader friends. Jason sometimes, depending on his mood, and one or two of the other baseball players.
He was unsure as to where he should sit at the table once they arrived. Surely Kevin would not expect Edd to sit next to him. That would be pushing it too far. Edd wasn't sure if he could completely hide his feelings for Kevin if he was right next to him, arms brushing up against each other. Kevin still had the ability to make him blush with just a smile. Physical contact would definitely turn his cheeks pink and though Edd thought that no one paid much attention to him, a red face would certainly garner some interest and curiosity.
He walked with Ed behind Nazz and an excited Eddy up to the third floor and the cafeteria, a feeling of dread seeping into his bones. Their usual spot, a table in the far corner that was small and tucked away, seemed to be a safe haven – an out of the way place where no one ever noticed them or bothered them. Most of all, he could watch Kevin from a distance with no worry that anyone would suspect a thing.
Edd swallowed with difficulty as they entered the large, noisy, and confusing mass that was their high school cafeteria. Ed and Eddy abandoned him and Nazz so that they could go through the lunch line. Edd always brought his own lunch and would normally take this opportunity to slink over to the corner table. Nazz, however, put her arm through his and gave him a smile. "It'll be ok, Double D," she assured him.
Edd smiled nervously at her and merely nodded. He could see Kevin and Rolf were already there, as was Kevin's friend Jake. Kevin's smile did little to reassure him as he and Nazz approached the table. The seat on the other side of Kevin was open and Kevin did a little head nod towards it, but Edd just couldn't bring himself to go around the table once Nazz let go of his arm. She sat across from the empty seat and looked at Edd, but Edd elected to sit in the empty seat across from Jake, leaving the seat between him and Nazz for Eddy. Rolf sat at the head of the table as he usually did.
"Hi everyone!" Nazz said in her bright and cheerful voice. "Double D is joining us and the other Eds will be here after they grab food."
"Cool," said Kevin. "Hi Double D!"
"Greetings, Kevin," Edd muttered, his eyes focused on the lunchbox clutched between his hands that he had rested on the table.
"Hello, smart Edd-boy!" Rolf said in his enthusiastic way.
"Greetings, Rolf."
"Hey Double D!"
Edd's eyes now focused on Jake across from him, surprised that the other boy had remembered his name. Then again, his friends had all just said it. "Greetings, Jake," he responded as he opened his lunchbox to take out the container with his food.
"Do anything on your unexpected three day weekend?" Jake asked.
Edd stared at Jake for a moment, not quite sure that he was speaking to him. "Um, nothing much," he said, striving not to dart his eyes at Kevin. Then, realizing that it was the polite thing to do to engage the conversation, added, "You?"
"Sat on the couch and watched a shit ton of movies," Jake said cheerfully. "Was supposed to go up and see Carla, but couldn't make it. She wants me to make it up to her."
"She seemed very nice," Edd said, feeling a little awkward. He never had a problem talking easily to the Eds or Kevin. Even Nazz and Rolf had gotten easier to talk with. Jake, however, intimidated him.
"She really liked you and the other Eds too." Edd felt his eyebrows raise in surprise. Jake either didn't note his expression or chose not to comment on it. "She said she suggested you and Kev come up for dinner sometime."
"Um, yes. She did mention that."
"We'll have to plan for that."
The arrival of three more of Kevin's teammates saved Edd from answering. Ben sat next to him with Joel on his other side. Jason, however, stood behind the chair next to Jake's spot and barked out a laugh that Edd would classify as cruel. "What the fuck is this? What's this nerd doing here?"
Edd lifted his gaze from Jake to the blond haired boy who was sneering down across the table at him. He had no idea what to say and felt like he wanted to sink into the floor. Why did he allow Kevin to talk him into this? He knew this would happen.
"What the fuck, dude?" Jake said angrily, looking up at Jason himself.
"This little nerd?" Jason said, gesturing at Edd. "Who the fuck does he think he is sitting here? Yo, the 'nerd table' is that way," he added, pointing toward the table in the far corner.
Nazz, who could never stand to see anyone picked on, said calmly, "First of all, don't be an asshole. Second, anyone can sit here. He's our friend, so he joined us. Just like our other friend and MY boyfriend will be. So fuck off if you don't like it."
Jason just laughed and held up his hands. He never took his eyes from Edd and, though it pained him, Edd held his gaze with a neutral expression. He was quite proud of himself that he didn't show any kind of reaction.
"What's going on?" an angry voice spoke behind Edd. Edd turned his head enough to the side to see Eddy drop his tray on the table next to him. He was glowering at Jason.
"Nothing, Eddy," Edd said evenly. He finally met Kevin's eyes and wasn't surprised at the anger there. Eddy settled between him and Nazz, while Ed dropped into the seat next to Kevin.
"Hi Kevin!" Ed said happily, unaware of the tension caused by Jason.
"Hey Ed," Kevin said, giving him a tight smile. Edd thought it looked as if Kevin were ready to spring and Edd hoped he wouldn't.
Jason said nothing more, just sat down next to Jake. The other boys said general 'hello's' to the group and they all started talking, though Edd could still feel the tension in the air. Eddy was still bristling next to him, Nazz's eyes expressed her anger, even though she acted like her normal bubbly self, and Kevin glowered down at his food. Edd thought it best to say little and concentrated on his lunch.
"Sorry about Jason," Kevin said when Edd came into his house. They decided to do their homework at Kevin's, because one of their favorite TV shows was on Monday and they both liked to watch it in the Barr's media room.
Edd shrugged. He had been mentally preparing for this conversation since lunch, because he knew Kevin. Kevin would want to talk about it. Kevin would want to apologize for it, and Edd didn't know how he should respond. "It was not your fault, Kevin, that he said the things he did," Edd said as he hung his coat on the hook near the front door.
"Well, no, I know. But I still feel like shit that he said it."
"Language," Edd said softly. Kevin had taken his messenger bag, and he carried it into the kitchen with Edd trailing behind him.
Kevin grunted. "Can I get you anything? Mom bought those crackers you like and I think we have some cheese."
"That sounds yummy."
Edd settled into his seat at the breakfast bar while Kevin dug out the snacks for them. He fetched some water for Edd, knowing that his little boyfriend usually preferred that to drink, and got pop for himself. "Eat," he ordered, shoving the plate of cheese and crackers across the counter to Edd. "I know you didn't eat your lunch."
"I lost my appetite," Edd commented as he reached for the snack.
"I noticed."
Edd chewed on the cracker, thinking of how he should approach this. After swallowing, he said, "I knew something like that would happen. That is why I was reluctant to sit at your table."
"Jason's an asshole, Dee," Kevin said with a frown. "He's like that with everyone."
"Still, Kevin. I do not think it a good idea to return tomorrow."
"No."
"No?" Edd asked, a little surprised at the force of the small word.
"No," Kevin repeated.
It was Edd's turn to frown. "Kevin," he said, trying to keep his voice even. They had not fought with each other, yet, and Edd surely didn't want to fight now. He wasn't good with confrontation and the thought of arguing with Kevin caused his stomach to turn. "You cannot force me to do something I do not want to do."
Kevin looked truly surprised – his mouth dropped open at least and he stared at Edd across the breakfast bar. "Force you? You'd think I'd force you to do anything?"
Edd winced slightly at the hurt he could hear in Kevin's voice. "No," he said, then sighed. "No, I do not think you would. Were you that type of person, I am sure I would know that by now. I just," he paused. "I was extremely uncomfortable after Jason spoke to me that way. I felt exposed and demeaned. I have not felt like that in a long time."
Kevin's fingers tapped on the counter in agitation. Edd kept his gaze steady on him. Edd didn't exactly want to discuss his past bullying, but he would if he had to do so. Edd could practically see the gears turning in Kevin's head and waited to see where his boyfriend would lead this conversation.
"I don't want you to feel that way," Kevin started. He took a deep breath and looked down at his hands, his shoulders slumping. "I liked the idea of you sitting with us so much. I miss you at lunch and the few times we get to see each other at school aren't enough, you know? It just sucks that one person can ruin this."
Edd didn't say anything, though his mind was working around what Kevin said. It meant everything in the world that Kevin enjoyed his presence so much. He missed Kevin too and had to agree he felt the same about the few times they were able to see each other. Lunch would give them a chance to be together, and that was a nice thought.
Before he could respond, Kevin continued and gave Edd more food for thought. "Nazz is so happy to have Eddy there too. You guys are our friends, even without you both being our boyfriends. We like hanging out with you, and I know my other friends do too."
"They do?"
"Yeah. They've asked about you guys a few times and Jake wondered why you didn't sit with us at lunch."
Edd leaned forward in his seat, resting his forearms on the counter, hands clasped, and he finally took his gaze from Kevin and stared down at his hands too. Edd liked Jake, Ben and Joel, if he could go by what he had seen of them when they volunteered together and by the time spent at the winter festival. Sitting with those three on a daily basis would not be a bad thing in Edd's eyes. He didn't know if he would ever make friends with any of them, but Edd could tell they were all good people. Ed had been right at the winter festival - that Kevin's friends seemed nice. They were. Edd just didn't want to have to deal with it if Jason also sat there.
"What did you tell him?" Edd finally asked.
"Sort of the truth. Just that you guys weren't sure if you could sit there. He thought that was ridiculous."
"In what way is it ridiculous?"
"Jake's like me, I guess. Like a lot of us. We don't care about the popularity thing. It's a bunch of nonsense anyway. You're our friends, that's all that matters. The other guys liked you and the other Eds, so there's no reason to not sit with us," Kevin argued. Edd looked up and their gazes locked. "Jason can go fuck off," Kevin held up his hand to stop Edd's protest of his language. "So can anyone else who doesn't like it."
Edd took in a deep breath, though he didn't pull his eyes from Kevin's. His boyfriend never demanded much from Edd. He never demanded anything and rarely made requests like this. Edd knew it would stress him every day to sit in Jason's proximity, but he also knew that Eddy and Ed liked the fact that they could sit with the popular kids. At least Eddy was happy about it. Eddy had finally achieved his dream of being 'popular' and part of that group. Ed was happy, Edd knew, just being around Kevin, Nazz and Rolf.
Ed and Eddy were happy about this and Edd knew he wouldn't be able to convince them to leave the table. Granted, Edd was sure if he insisted, his best friends would return with him to the little out of the way table in the corner, but they wouldn't be happy about it. Kevin would definitely not be happy about it, nor would Nazz and Rolf. Edd didn't want to be the one to spoil everyone else's happiness. He realized, as he thought it through logically, he couldn't do that to Kevin and their friends. Nor could he bring himself to sit alone at lunch.
"Alright, Kevin. I shall return with the Eds to your table. I am not exactly comfortable with it, but I do enjoy the fact that I can sit with you and our friends."
"I don't want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with, Dee. But I don't think it's going to be as bad as you think. We'll put a stop to Jason and any other asshole who tries to make it a thing. I want you to like my friends and I want them to like you. When we do come out, it'll be better if they know you."
"That is a good idea," Edd agreed, though his heart sped up at the thought. Kevin seemed satisfied for the moment, so he came around the breakfast bar to sit next to Edd, giving his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek before settling in and opening his book bag. Edd was aware that Kevin was ready to come out and make their relationship known. He had expressed that repeatedly to Edd, but the very thought chilled him. He turned his head slightly to watch Kevin leaf through his history book, looking for the correct chapter. His boyfriend was smiling, humming slightly under his breath and looked happy. No doubt Kevin considered this a step in the right direction.
Was it? Getting Edd used to being around his friends seemed important to Kevin, and Edd could understand that. Surely, he himself wanted Kevin to like the Eds. Kevin just had more friends than him and that seemed overwhelming to Edd, to be honest. This, however, was part and parcel of dating the most popular boy in the school, Edd surmised. Things just seemed much more real right now, with Kevin mentioning them being out at school and wanting Edd to become friendly with the others. Their relationship was entering a more serious phase and Edd knew he would need to come to terms with it in a whole new way.
Not that it was a bad thing to come to terms with. Edd had felt this would be serious right from the start. Things had moved fast, however. Faster than he had anticipated. With his issues, Edd assumed it would take him much longer to be this deep, this infatuated, this eager for physical affection, this much in love.
Edd swallowed hard. The love word. It kept jumping into his brain lately and, of course, always when he thought about Kevin and their relationship. He did love Kevin; he could be honest enough and say that to himself. Could he say that to Kevin? Not now. Soon. He knew it would be soon. He also knew, with that, they would likely move on to a more intimate relationship and that thought almost stole his breath away.
He smiled, still watching Kevin, who had hunched over the counter, chin resting on his hands as he read whatever chapter his teacher had assigned. Edd wasn't to that point yet. Soon, perhaps, but not quite yet. He reached over and tangled his fingers in Kevin's hair, which got a pleased hum from him. Kevin turned his head, resting his cheek now on his fists so he could gaze up at Edd with a lazy smile. The movement caused Edd's hand to slide from Kevin's hair to his cheek. Kevin took that hand and moved it to his mouth to kiss Edd's palm.
With a slight blush, but a large grin, Edd pulled his hand away so that he could dig his own homework out of his messenger bag. Chemistry first, he decided, spreading his work neatly in front of him as Kevin returned to his reading. The two settled down into a comfortable silence, occasionally touching hands to remind each other they were there.
Yes, soon.
Author's Notes:
This chapter served to show that there is some tension about 'hiding' their relationship, as well as to help Edd start to become aware that the 'popular' kids are no different than anyone else. While there isn't a lot of interaction, any in this chapter (and the Winter Festival) served to show that Kevin has nice friends. And while they don't exactly figure largely in this verse, they are present and could potentially be a great support system in the future. Something Kevin and Edd are sure to need.
I know there's not much in this one-shot by way of content, but trust me, some important small things are in this - including the Eds in with Kevin/Nazz/Rolf's friends even more...establishing the bully, Jason...and bringing the tension about this between Edd and Kevin out a little more.
Edd's insecurities are going to be a big stumbling block to overcome...this has been my plan all along.
As always, catch me on tumblr devooshawrites for updates/posts of stories from this verse and other fandoms for which I write!