Feelings

Summary: One-shot fic; Selphie's musings about her relationship with Quistis.

Dislaimer: I don't own any of the chars from FFVIII.

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It had started out as a joke.

Selphie leaned against the bar next to Quistis and sipped her drink, scanning the dance floor of the club for hot guys. Quistis was seated on one of the stools hunched over her tall drink, tasting it demurely.
"Man..." the brunette whined after a few minutes, "Nobody cute, nobody at all!" she set her drink down on the counter and sighed. "This club sucks." The bartender ignored her as he poured her another drink. "What about you, Quisty?" she asked.
The woman turned slowly and surveyed the room silently, her fingers tapping the counter quietly. Finally, she turned to face Selphie and shrugged. "Your tastes are unbelievably picky," she said, "I see plenty of cute men out there." Selphie made a face and picked up her drink.
A tall man walked over to where they were sitting and gestured to Quistis, "Wanna dance?" he asked, flashing a dark grin. The woman glanced at him, uninterested, and shook her head.
"I can't dance." She replied shortly.
"A beautiful woman like you? Sure you can!" he exclaimed and she rolled her eyes. Pulling Selphie close, she ran her hand slowly down the girl's bare leg and looked up at the man.
"Besides," she said, setting Selphie on her lap. "I'm a lesbian."
The man's eyes widened slightly and he grimaced. As he walked away, they could hear him muttering "A damn shame..." and giggled at him.

We kept using the joke for a long time.

People would ask us, "Are you two really lesbians?" and we would just laugh it off.

But after awhile, I wasn't sure myself.

"Quisty..." Selphie began, looking up from her papers. They were in Quistis' room, her offering to help Selphie with her homework.
"Yes?" the woman asked, looking up from her own paperwork.
Selphie fiddled with her pencil for a few moments, "Are you sure that we're... we're not lesbians?" she replied finally. Quistis took off her glasses and set them on the table.
"What?"
The brunette kept her eyes locked on the table. "Well... we've been saying it for awhile..." the woman cut her off.
"It's a joke, though. You know that." She said and the girl bit her lip.
"Right... it's just a joke..." she murmured quietly, her head lowered.

I could feel an increasing affection for Quistis.

But I didn't know if she felt the same way about me.

Selphie sat in Quistis' room, quietly eating lunch with the older woman.
"Do you..." the girl said after a few minutes and Quistis looked up.
"Huh?" she raised her eyebrows.
Selphie glanced at her and returned her concentration to her food. "Do you have any feelings for me?" she inquired, her bangs over-shadowing her eyes.
Quistis cocked an eyebrow, "Of course. You're one of my best friends." She answered.
"I see." Selphie replied and they ate on in silence.

All my feelings and longings were locked up inside of me with nowhere to go.

They kept building and building inside.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.

It was late at night.
Selphie had invited Quistis to her room for a sleepover. They both sat on her small couch, watching a movie. As Quistis laughed at a joke, Selphie watched her, noticing her nice smile, fun laugh; noticing everything.
As the credits rolled, Quistis turned to Selphie, ready to ask her something when she suddenly felt the soft touch of the girl's lips against her own. Her eyes widened and she pushed the girl away in shock. Selphie sat back, hurt showing in her eyes.
"What are you doing?" the woman exclaimed, startled. That struck a nerve in Selphie's mind. She snapped.
"You have no idea what I've felt! All these months... all of these jumbled thoughts!" Selphie yelled her words angry. "My feelings for you, the fear of rejection, my longing... all stuck inside of me!"
Quistis stared at her, "Why didn't you say anything?" she asked.
"How could I?" the brunette shouted back, "How could I, knowing it might ruin our friendship? I couldn't ever say anything! As much as I wanted to say something, I couldn't!" the woman looked up at her and saw that the girl was crying. "All these months of pain... of silent suffering... they made me realize something!" Selphie stared Quistis straight in the eye.
"I love you, Quistis Trepe!!" she yelled and there was a moment of complete silence. Slowly, Quistis edged closer to the quivering girl and pulled her close. Selphie finally broke down, sobbing into the woman's nightshirt as Quistis rubbed her back warmly and slowly rocked back and forth.
Once Selphie calmed down, Quistis lifted her head, forcing her to look at her and smiled. "I need time to think about this but know that we are still as close as ever." Selphie gave her a watery smile in reply. Lying back, Quistis pulled a blanket over the two of them and wrapped her arms around the small girl. "Sleep well." She said.

For the first time in months, I was truly happy.

Our relationship started from there and progressed.

Now, when people ask us "Are you two lesbians?" we say yes and they are the ones to laugh it off.

I don't care what anybody thinks.

She turned and wrapped her arms around her sleeping lover. Closing her eyes, she said, "Love you, Quisty...". "Love you too, Selph..." the woman murmured and Selphie smiled.

Because I am in love with Quistis Trepe.