Note: This actually belonged to a series of shorts I wrote in a spur-of-the-moment thing, hence the lack of a good intro/rather disjointed first chapter (chap 0). Anyway I had a lot of fun writing it and I sort of have a main storyline in mind, so.. yeah I might just take that and run with it.
Anyway shout out to my first ever reviewer on here!:DDD
I don't actually know how to reply comments (still figuring this place out), and I can't PM yet since I'm a new member and all, but yeah, thanks so much! I really appreciate your review :DD
Chapter:0
It was a bright and early morning here at the Institute of War. Everywhere, flowers were blooming and birds were chirping, creating an overall pleasant atmosphere. Normally, the very sight of such tranquil landscape awash in the warm, gentle glow of the sun would be enough to brighten Leona's mood, not today; today she had a job to do and some tough nuts to crack.
Speaking of nuts.
"Summoner Julius and Summoner Tomnen! Just the two people I wish to see! I have something I would like to discuss with you." The smile on Leona's face forcibly perked up as she called out to the two men approaching from a distance.
"Hello there Leona, what can we do you for?"
"Well, as representative of the LOLFEM (read: Ladies Of League Female Equality Movement), I've come to voice out an injustice against female league members."
"Oh? What kind of injustice?" Summoner Tomnen sighed tiredly, an act not unnoticed by Leona.
"You see, Lux has compiled these various statistics regarding male, female earnings in the first to fourth quarter of this year and as you can observe here," Leona shuffled through the sheafs of paper in her hands before pointing to an intimidating-looking graph, "there has consistently been a statistically significant discrepancy in the earning ratio between sexes even when accounting for," Leona ruffled more papers around and shoved a chart into Tomnen's face, "factors such as the frequency of summons, death-kill ratios, champion popularity, etc, etc, etc.." Leona continued droning on, unaware that both Julius' and Tomnen's face had gone completely blank. When she'd finished, she looked up expectantly.
"Well?"
"The wage gap does not exist." Julius replied tonelessly.
A deep frown creased over Leona's sun-kissed features as she flipped through the various sheets of paper in her hands. "That is not true, haven't you been listening? I just told you that, ceteris paribus, male champions of the league are earning on average 26.75% more gold than female champions. These statistics do not lie, Julius. You can go back and ask your own statisticians to double check if you so wish to."
"The wage gap does not exist." It was Tomnen who spoke up this time.
"Wha-but I just told you -" Leona sputtered before being cut off by both Tomnen and Julius. "The wage gap does not exist," they chimed out simultaneously in monotone.
At this point, a bewildered Leona had no choice but to toss up the stacks of paper in her hands and stride off in search of more intelligent species to plead her case.
When she was gone, Tomnen turned, whispering to Julius, "See, I told you if we say that enough times, she will eventually believe it."
"Irelia, that's the third time this week you've screwed up in the Rift. I hate to inform you, but we think your skills are better off employed in the kitchen."
"But, that's not fair! Draven died more times than me last week, how come he was not banished to the kitchen?"
"Uh.. That's because he's a man? Society dictates that he makes up for his mistakes on the battlefield. Now, enough talking, Captain. Please kindly stfu and do something actually useful with your sacred blades like, chopping onions and whisking eggs."
"You want me to WHAT?!" Katarina's roar reverberated around the white walls of the Institute of War as well as through the valleys of Runeterra.
"Assist Irelia in the kitchen." Summoner Seamus repeated calmly.
"Listen here, summoner," Katarina grabbed the gangly boy by the collar of his shirt as her voice dipped to a low, dangerous growl. "I am Noxus' Sinister Blade, and am born of a noble house, I did NOT train my whole life in blade work just so I can help Irelia make chop suey in the kitchen." That last part came out in a menacing snarl.
"But, I heard you're legendary at cutting things up?"
"Definitely." Katarina unhanded Seamus and stuck her nose up in the air.
"You are legendary at slicing things, no?"
"You got that right." Katarina folded her arms.
"And you are legendary at filleting, I assume?"
"The best." Katarina shifted her weight to her other foot.
"And legendary at dicing too?"
"Well, yeah.." Katarina scratched her nose.
10 minutes later
"How did this happen?" Katarina wailed as a stoic Irelia stood beside her, methodically chopping onions.
"Well, it could have been worse," Irelia sighed. "I heard Ahri was stuck mopping toilet stalls with her tails.."
Katarina visibly shuddered, "That is.. unfortunate.. hey, how long should I steam the baby carrots for?"