This is a reboot of my old fic under the same name. I had to discontinue that one because I wanted to chsnge the mood entirely. I pkan to work hard on thus one after my hiatus, so I hope you stick around for longer.
P.S. Also my language has improced slightly so expect less cringe than my other works
Enjoy!
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He was walking through the cortyard, the heels of his Oxfords clicking softly upon contact with the meticulously pristine pavement. Before him was the towering glass walls of the United Nations Office in Geneva, the only place where nations put away their differences and gathered to discuss their issues freely.
A little boy rushed past him, laughing extatically and pulling on a string. On the other end there was a blue paper plane, jolting through the turbulent winds, but stubbornly staying afloat. The sunlight reflecting from the massive exterior of the tower illuminated the area around the man in the Gieves Hawkes suit, sending ripples on the pavement surface as it bounced from the jiggling Graham watch on his wrist to the floor.
One might call this sight beautiful. But Arthur Kirkland could only disagree. His emerald eyes observed a different image, one that made him halt and cast his gaze to the UN office. The scorching sunlight melted his skin not shielded by a thick layer of high quality cotton. He felt exposed, vulnerable and immensely fatigued.
On a regular occasion, England would have taken a sick day and spent it under a blanket cuddling his hot water bottle and a box of tissues while watching reruns of Dounton Abbey and Poldark. However, today he was presenting an important report on global switching to sustainable energy sources and had to get into that bloody conference room even in a wheelchair.
As he braved the steps towards the entrance and opened the front door, he was greeted by a flustered concierge in his early twenties. All the way to the cloakroom the poor lad kept tripping over his trousers, evidently too long for his height. After handing his coat to the jittery youth, Arthur headed towards the elevators. He entered the nearest lift available and pressed the buton leading to the 23rd floor.
As the doors closed and Englad was left in solitude, a sigh escaped his lips and left a mark on the glass. He leaned forward, his blond fringe rubbing on the walls of the cabin and closed his eyes. He was just so tired. Of everything. Of the noisy streets, board meetings, rainy days, sunlit days, badly brewed tea and most of all the group of rowdy idiots he was heading towards. As the bell ringed for 23rd floor and the doors opened, England stepped forward into the clamorous hallway.
*
"So the agenda for today's meeting is related to climate change. Before we begin, I would like all of you to ... ITALY! STOP PLAYING WITH THE CAT AND CONCENTRATE!" Germany snapped at Veneciano, who was squatting under the table and feeding the small spotted creature. As the tall, well built man slammed his hand on the table, the smaller one under it jumped in surprise and toppled the chair behind him.
"Veeeee..." squealed Italy as he landed flat on his bottom. As Germany scoffed and irritably grabbed the papers in front of him, Veneciano was helped out by an elegant man with shimmering black hair.
"Are you alright, Italy-san? You fell down pretty bad..."
"I'm OK, Japan." said Veneciano to the dark haired fellow and turned to Germany with tears in his eyes.
"Germany! You are being such a meanie, veee. What if I hit my head, cracked it, and died a virgin! Where are you going to get virgin olive oil from!?..."
"SCHEISSE, ITALY!" the angry man slammed the papers back onto the table and sent a murderous glare at the poor boy. "We don't have time for your idle dilly-dallying! The meeting has been running for 20 minutes and nothing, VERDAMMT NOTHING, has been done!!! I have a right to be angry!!!"
"Mon dieu, Germany. You are being way too harsh on him today." Uttered a hansdome man with magestic golden locks as he traced the glass of water in front of him with a finger. France flicked his hair and continued. "Plus, the rest of us, including our speaker, are not here yet so why the rush, hmm?"
Germany sighed and adjusted his glasses, which shifted considerably from their position during his emotional speech. "My point exactly! I would expect such disregard for the rules from that jerk America, but where the hell are the other two!?"
"Erm, I am right here, Germany." A practically invisible man whimpered behind Germany's chair as he poked the agitated fellow in the back.
"Mein Gott!!!" yelled the man as he jumped out of his chair in surprise. While clutching his chest, he glared at the meek blonde cuddling a polar bear plushie and said "Seriously, Canada! For the millionth time : DO NOT sneak up on me! "
"I, I am so sorry!" muttered the terrified boy as he clutched his plushie. "I kept trying to tell you from the beginning, but none of you noticed me when you came in..."
"Haha! That is so typical of you, mon cher." France laughed as he tapped the seat next to him, motioning for Canada to come over.
"Well, that is one down and two more to go. Where the hell are they!" mumbled Germany as he stroked his chin. Suddenly he was overcome with a concerning realisation.
"Hold on...Has England ever been this late?"
"Pah, Of course not! That distasteful bastard may have absolutely no palette to speak of, but one thing he prides himself in is his punctuality." said France with a disapproving scoff. "He has got a stick up his ass when it comes to arriving on time. Even if he got hit by a car, went to the hospital, got a surgery and then rolled in here in a wheelchair, he would still be at least 5 minures early..."
Then he paused and sent a concerned look back at Germany. Everyone in the room went silent, all thinking the same thing. What could have happened to England to make him this late?
After a moment of deliberation, Japan broke the eerie atmosphere by asking "Should we go look for him? Maybe it's something serious..."
"There will be no need for that." said a calm voice from the entrance to the meeting room as the doors swung open. England walked in with an apathetic demeanor past the bewildered men to take his place by the projector.
He set his suitcase down and clicked the locks open. As he was taking out his documents, Arthur looked around and sighed "I understand you might be frustrated due to my tardiness. I sincerely apologise for that. However, we have wasted enough time for the meeting. Shall we start, Germany?"
"What?" mumbled Germany in a daze as he stared in surprise at England's nonchalant behaviour. However, it didn't take him long to recover and continue hurriedly "Oh, yes! Of couse, but... Are you ok?"
Arthur stared at the man with slight intrigue and replied "Obviously. Why wouldn't I be? I was late due to... traffic, that's all." He continued to prepare his presentation with visible detachment, while the rest of the room pondered his erratic behavior.
About 10 minutes into the report, when the screen was covered in images of giant aquatic windmills, solar panels and distribution diagrams accompanied by a disinterested speaker, the doors swung open again with a great force. The loud bang made everyone jump in their seats, including the half awake Italy.
"Hahaha! Whats up loosers! Da boss is in da house!" a well built young man yelled out extatically as he barged in with an all enveloping grinn. He confidently headed to an empty seat and collapsed into it, unceremoniously placing both of his feet on the table.
"So, what did I miss? Actually, don't tell me. I'm sure it was nothing interesting considering it's England's report." The blond man fixed his glasses and pulled a bottle of coke and a burger out of nowhere proceeding to voraciously consume it.
"SCHEISSE, America! This is too much, even from you!" barked Germany at the insolent lad rocking back and forth in his chair.
The object of his rage simply shrugged and answered with a smug expression "You gotta understand something, Germany. Unlike y'all I am a very busy man. Places to be, things to do. I should get an extra leeway when it comes to stuff like this."
"I don't think it works like that, America-san." said Japan questionably. America just waved his hand in disinterest and continued eating his food.
"Erm... Guys! I think Germany is about to explode vee!" nervously pinpointed Italy while shuffling towards the door in his chair.
"Oui, I agree." quickly responded France throwing a glance at the fuming man gripping the documents in front if him with a candid passion. "Come on, mon cher. Lets get away from the angry German." he added while hurriedly urging Canada to get out of the nearby seat.
Just as the cowards quickly left the field of battle, Germany used all his willpower to keep himself from boiling over and asked with a threatening calmness. "Do you think that your 'business' is any more important than ours? We all have obligations, but we took the time to gather here for a reason. Does your insolence know no bounds?"
America was unfazed by the man's admonishing speech. He was still rocking in his chair and chewing his burger. Once he swallowed his food, he looked back confidently and said.
"Well, yes actually. Unlike you, Europeans, I don't waste my precious time on boring board meetings and idle talk. I act. That's why I am the superpower and y'all just struggle to keep up with my awesomeness, LOL."
There was a sound resonating through the room. The actual sound of Germany's patience snapping like a thin thread holding an elephant over a chasm. With a raging torrent filled with alligators right under it. The man lunged forward, eyes bloodshot, fists ready and an inhuman roar ripping through the room "AMERICAAAAAA!!!".
The target of this beastly rage jumped nimbly out of his seat and laughed. He hopped onto the table and playfully teased the infuriated German who was actively trying to strangle him.
Clearly enjoying himself, America didn't stop there. He decided to see how much further could he push the usually disciplined and composed man with a notoriously thick stick up his ass.
"Dude, you gotta chill out, yo!" he yelled while giggling like a child on a sugar trip. "Your nazi tendencies are leaking out."
Germany froze, the redness of his face offset by the paleness of hid knuckles. He shook with fury, his face darkened and eyes downcast. Suddenly he lunged forward, catching the mischievous America off guard, hands closing around the boy's arrogant neck as he pinned him down to the table with an inhuman force.
"Mon dieu, Germany! You are going to kill the boy!" yelped terrified France but made no attempt to come between the ferocious man and his still giggling prey. He, Italy and Canada were all huddled in the corner of the room, ready to bolt out the moment Germany's target shifts away from America.
The only calm person through this whole ordeal was Japan. He slowly stood up, observing the battle ongoing in front of him and walked towards the nearest wall. He fumbled around with some sort of lever and out of the ceiling descended a downour of ice cold water, covering the area of the table, but not extending beyond the line of chairs around it.
"Will you ever stop behaving like children?" he asked in a soft yet chastising voice as he walked back to the table with his brows furrowed in discontent. "I hope this cools you both down."
The two soaking wet men were lying speechless on top of the table and staring at the unusual way Japan was handling the sutuation. The latter pulled out a handkerchief from the breast pocket of his simple, yet elegant suit and wiped the chair in front of him. He then took out two more he had in his inner pocket and presented them to the pair upon the table while bowing apologetically. As they picked up the offering, Japan proceeded to sit down and continued his speech.
"It doesn't matter who is at fault in this unfortunate situation but the result is clear. You are not only being rude to each other, you are being extremely discorteous to England! If you haven't noticed, he was in the middle of his presentation."
As the man pointed out the obvious predicament, Germany released America's throat and staggered off the table, his shoes squeaking with moisture as he stepped awkwardly towards his seat. This action spurred the rest of the countries to return to their respective chairs and sit quietly in shame. All but America. He was unphased by Japan's lecture, but still got off the table to wring out his army jacket.
As everyone, with the exception of America, settled down somewhat, Germany smoothed his dripping hair back to their slick state prior to the unexpected shower and turned towards England.
"I apologise for my outburst. Would you mind continuing your speech, England?"
The man in question simply stood there, holding his notes while observing the room. Throughout the whole incident, England did not find the usual feeling of irritation or even exasperation within himself. Usually he would be the first to give America a long good tirade, which sometimes would get violent enough to have Germany restrain him.
But not this time. He was... Calm. Full of serene emptiness that enveloped him gently like a winter veil, dulling his emotions and draining him. He was so... Tired. There it was again. This evergrowing fatigue that has been eating at him for weeks. England lifted the notes towards him, trying to return to the topic he was so rudely interrupted from. However, after glancing over the neverending pie charts, bar graphs and statistical mumbo jumbo he almost literally pulled out of his ass the night before, he lowered his hands slowly and raised his eyes to the door.
He decided. It was time to end this pathetic performance. "What's the point? " he said with a soft confident voice which reverberated through the room silent with anticipation.
Germany's eyebrows lifted upwards upon this statement as he asked hesitantly "Erm, what do you mean, England?"
Arthur Kirkland smirked coldly and trew his papers on the table, where they drifted away from him some falling to the floor, some sticking to the wood still wet from Japan's intervention. He looked down upon the dumbfounded German and continued.
"This whole renewable energy business seems to be counterproductive with this particular audience, don't you think?" he looked over to the chairs at the other end of the table and continued. "Italy and France are too shortsighted and economically unstable to consider completely switching to these new methods. You probably would consider this proposal, but it seems you are too busy babysitting the two selfish idiots as well as the rest of the European Union. I bet Greece alone is giving you enough grief as it is."
His gaze shifted towards Japan as the flood of apathetic commentary commenced once again. " Japan would definitely swich to renewable sources if he wasn't so busy battling with his own land, which is trying to either drown, bury or explode his ass. The nuclear power alone could level the whole island, you know."
England shifted his gaze towards the now-settled-in America. After giving him a cold once over, Arthur smirked and unleashed the beast of a speech he was feeding for decades.
"And America. The land of the free and ignorant. He probably is the only one in the room capable of fully switching from the oil business, but he will not do so either in spite or on purpose. Is it because he is stubborn, or just plain foolish? Or maybe he owes a fortune to the Federal Reserve Bank, which caused him to beg the Gulf countries to buy his debt out putting him in a lifelong position of relying solely on the oil he gets from the greedy bastards. So yes, America is never switching to the "clean energy", Germany. Out of everyone here the only person capable and willing to put this information to good use is Canada. But then I could always arrange a private visit and sort this whole thing out."
After taking a breath, England continued yet again. "Now you tell me, Germany. Is there any point to conducting this meeting? Or even having this committee in the first place? It seems to me that all we do here is sit through talks about topics we pretend to care about then have a discussion leading nowhere and finally leave without planning to do anything about it."
He received no answer. Every other person in the room was silent with confusion as England reached under his chair for his briefcase and placed it on the table.
"Thought so..." he said "Well, gentlemen, as America put it so eloquently 'Places to be, things to do'. I am positively done here." England stepped out of his seat and headed for the door. As he opened it, he turned towards the flabergasted room and stated.
"Oh, and Germany?" his questioning tone caused the man in question to shudder and snap out of his stupor. "I quit."
"Quit?!" Germany finally opened his mouth to ask. "Quit what exactly?"
England smirked and replied. "The EU, of course. I grow weary of babysitting this sinking ship."
"It's all yours, darling." he added as he waved goodbye while casually walking out. The rest sat in momentary silence. Germany cast a terrified look towards France, who was equally concerned.
England has just pulled a BREXIT.