First off, I'd like to start by saying that is a "songfic" Based on the song called 'Cell Block Tango' from the movie Chicago. So if you've never seen the movie, or at least have seen the song, this most likely will NOT make sense to you!!! I have forwarned thee!!!!
Cell Block Tango
Setting: Southern Japan, 1920. Meibi County Jail. Murderer's Row.
Toph sighed. It was lonely being in jail…now her husband was mad at her…her secret lover was dead…She was about to start sobbing, when suddenly she began to hear noises. Noises from the other cells.
-pop- a brightly lit cigarette flooded the room with light.
-six- the dim figure of a woman could be seen rolling her head back.
-uh uh- Toph could barely make out a young woman, holding a cross and crying.
-Cicero- soft tendrils of smoke floated out of a woman's lips.
-lipschitz- brown eyes averted to the right.
Toph closed her eyes as she could hear the booming voice in her head.
"And now, the six merry murderesses of the Meibi County Jail in their rendition of "The Cell Block Tango".
"Pop…six…squish…uh uh…cicero…lipschitz". Toph moaned as the music started building up in her head. "Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero! Lipschitz!" The pounding music, the blaring lights, the screaming voices… Finally, she decided, curiosity killed the cat, but cats have 9 lives!! As she peered out into the hallway, the strange words were fading into…a song?
POP SIX SQUISH Uh uh Cicero…lipschitz.
He had it coming! He had it coming!
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it
A woman with short black hair stuck her arm out and yelled,
I betcha you would have done the same!
-Suddenly a blond woman walked out with an angry look on her face.
Hey. They call me Winry. Well, you know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like…Edward. Ed liked to chew gum. No not chew, POP. So I came home this one day and I'm really irritated ::pauses to light match:: and I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy. There's Ed, lyin' on the couch, drinkin' and beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. Poppin! So I said to him I said, 'You pop that gum one more time…' And he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots…into his HEAD
Suddenly she pulled a blood red hankerchief seemingly from nowhere, and began to dance.
He had it coming, he had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there, if you'd have heard it
I betcha you would have done the same!
-A tall, slender woman with flowing brown hair stepped up.
Many refer to me as princess, but you can call me Relena. I met Heero from Kyoto about 2 years ago, and he told me he was single, and we hit it off right away. So we started living together. He'd go to work. He'd come home. I'd fix him a drink. We'd have dinner. And then I found out. Single, he told me? Single my ass! Not only was he married, oh no. He had 6 wives. One of those mormons, you know? So that night when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink, as usual. -Relena pulls a red ribbon from her mouth- You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic
He had it coming
He had it coming
He took a flower in its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder, but not a crime!
-A tall black woman strolled into the light.
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carving up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business. In storms my husband, Jayvon, in a jealous rage. "You been screwin' the milkman" he says. He was crazy, and he kept on screaming', "you been screwin' the milkman!" And he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife 10 times!
All of a sudden she pulled a long red hankerchief from nowhere, seemingly reminiscient of her evil deed.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
-Suddenly, the music changed to a soft but upbeat tempo, and an older teen moved gracefully into the middle.
Soy Katara. Tengo la culpa del homicido de mi novio, Jet. Pero, conozco el asesino. Conozco el asesino! El matador es Zuko...
"Y-yeah, but did you do it?" Toph asked hesitantly.
Uh uh! Not..guilty
Katara sobbed softly as she pulled out a soft, white scarf.
-Immediately after, another woman with short black hair slinked over to Toph. She was different, this one. She had an air about her...she wasn't afraid.
Hello, love. You can call me Hotaru. My sister Chibiusa and I had this double act. And my husband Helios traveled around with us. Now, for the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops. One right after the other. One night before the show, we're down at the Hotel Cicero. The three of us boozin' and havin' a few laughs. We run out of ice, so I go out to get some. -She grinned for a moment- I come back, open the door, and there's Chibiusa and Helios, doing number 17, The Spread Eagle!
Toph gasped as she suddenly envisioned 2 people going down on each other...at the same time.
Well, I was in such a state of shock I completely blacked out I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were DEAD!
Toph moaned in shock and disbelief as 2 of the most reddest hankies she'd ever seen rolled from Hotaru's outstretched hands.
THEY HAD IT COMIN'! (they had it comin')
THEY HAD IT COMIN'! (they had it comin')
THEY HAD IT COMIN' ALL ALONG...
I DIDN'T DO IT (she didn't do it)
But if I done IT (but if she done it)
How could you tell me that I was wrong!!
They had it coming (they had it coming)
They had it coming (they had it coming)
They had it coming all along...I didn't do it
But if I done it, how could you tell me that I was wrong?
Toph blinked as a tall, sturdy woman with wide shoulders walked up to her.
Everyone calls me Setsuna. Let me tell you my story. I loved Mamoru Lipschitz more than I could possibly say. He was a real artistic guy. Sensitive, a painter. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself, and on the way, he found Usagi, Rei, Unazuki, and Chibiusa. You could say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive...and I saw him -dead-
Toph's hands flew to her throat as she imagined this strong woman choking her with that bright red ribbon...ooh...
Suddenly everyone came out, including 50 other murderesses. They all sang with a passion and had a murderous look in their eyes.
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
They had it comin'
They had it comin'
They had it comin'
They had it comin'
They had it coming all along...
And if they used us (and if they used us)
Then they abused us (then they abused us)
How could you tell us that we were wrong?
He had it coming (he had it coming)
He had it coming (he had it coming)
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there (if you'd have been there)
If you'd have seen it (if you'd have seen it)
I BETCHA YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME!!
pop that gum one more time...single my ass...10 times!...number 17, the spread eagle...artistic differences...
pop...
six...
squish...
uh uh...
cicero...lipshitz
Toph sighed and rolled over in her bed. Maybe her life wasn't so bad after all.
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Disclaimer: I don't own the movie Chicago (but my mom does!!). XD Joke, Joke, I mean I don't own the company or whatever...and I don't own any reference to anime I made...there was quite a few, ne?
Don't forget to read chapter 2!! It may help!!