Agatha comes for a surprise visit (that of course Penny didn't bother to tell the boys about in advance). It doesn't take long for things to get awkward…

Penelope

"I don't believe it!"

Simon flings the door shut behind him, slumping back against it with a groan. I don't bother to look up from my book.

"Seriously, Penny! They're out of scones! How do you run out of scones?"

I lower my book a few inches, giving my best friend an incredulous look. "Probably because you keep eating them all, Simon. Merlin. Surely there are other cafes with sour cherry scones in London?"

"Yeah," Simon says, moving to sit next to me on the sofa, "But I don't have time to walk there. Baz'll be here any minute."

I sneak a glance at my watch- half past noon. I need to leave soon if I'm going to make it. Fortunately, Baz coming over gives me the perfect excuse to make myself scarce.

"Great," I say. "Listen, Simon, I've got to go. Try not to burn anything, kay?" I stand up, placing my book on the end table and grabbing the car keys. "No snogging on the kitchen counters."

"Penny!" Simon cries, blushing. "It was one time!"

"Yes," I say, reaching for the doorknob. "And I'll expect you to keep such activities to your bedroom in future. Oh, hello, Baz," I add as I open the door. Baz steps past me into the flat.

"Hello, Bunce."

"Hey," Simon calls, standing and moving into the hallway. Baz takes his hand, and Simon leans his head on Baz's shoulder as they go back into the living room. They really are adorable together.

"While I have you both here," I call after them, "I'm on my way to pick Agatha up from the airport. Please, for the love of Merlin and magic, do not be snogging on the sofa when we get back."

They're both yelling something after me- I catch a few muttered curses from Baz, and something that sounds like "some warning next time" from Simon- but I ignore them.

I smile to myself as I leave, closing the door behind me.

o-o-o-o-o

Agatha

I'm just starting to think she's not coming when an unfamiliar car pulls into the parking lot.

Penny waves to me from the driver's side window, and I walk over as she opens her door and climbs out to give me a hug.

"Agatha!" she cries, tossing my suitcase into the backseat. "How have you been?"

It's been a year and a half since I left for California, and my parents and Penny have been trying to get me to visit for months. I finally gave in and agreed to spend a week here this summer.

Well. I agreed to spend a week with Penny. My parents don't know I'm back, and I'd like to keep it that way. While Penny knows I left my wand in Britain, my parents don't, and the last thing I need is for them to find out that I haven't done magic in over a year.

"I've been good," I tell Penny as we take our seats in the car. "It's been really nice, getting a change of scenery."

"Tell me everything," Penny says, pulling the car out of the lot. "What about university?"

"Well. I'm studying for an education decree. I want to work in a Normal elementary school- you know, with kids?"

"That's awesome, Agatha. Seriously," Penny says, turning onto the main road.

"You don't think it's weird?" I ask tentatively. "That I don't do magic, or want a magickal career?"

"Nah," Penny assures me. "I mean, I don't think I could to it, but if a Normal life makes you happy…?" It's clearly a question.

"It does," I say, smiling. "It really does. I feel… Free, you know? It's nice to not have to worry about your friends dying every other day." I hesitate. "I don't have to worry about you dying every other day, do I? Like, you're done with goblins and vampires and magic-sucking monsters, right?"

Penny rolls her eyes and laughs. "I mean… the Humdrum is gone, and I haven't seen hide nor hair of a goblin since they finally just elected a ruler last spring. There is a vampire basically living in my flat, but he hasn't eaten anyone yet, so…"

I stare at Penny for a moment. She doesn't look like she's kidding. "You mean Baz?"

She nods.

"I thought the truce was just to solve Natasha Pitch's murder?" I ask. "Didn't it turn out to be the Mage?"

"Yes," Penny says. "And now there's a vampire living in my flat. Speaking of, we're here."

Penny's pulled the car into a small parking lot in front of a well-maintained building. The windows all have flower boxes in them, and the tiny strip of grass in front is neat and green.

"It's nice," I admit.

"Yeah, well, don't judge by the outside," Penny says. "There's no lift, and we live five stories up."

Of fucking course.

o-o-o-o-o

Penelope

I help Agatha haul her suitcase up the five flights of stairs separating our flat from the ground floor. When we get to our door, I stop and listen for a minute.

"What are you doing?" Agatha demands. "Don't you live here?"

"Of course," I say. "But it's always better to be safe, you know…" I raise a fist and bang on the door. "I'd rather not walk in on anything."

Agatha looks like she wants to ask what I think we'd be walking in on, but Simon opens the door before she gets the chance.

"Seriously, Pen," Simon says, "You have a key. Hey, Agatha," he adds, opening the door wider and stepping out of the way. "Um… Welcome, I guess."

"Hi, Simon," Agatha says as we enter the flat. "How's it going?"

"Great. Things have been good. You?"

"Well enough."

"Where's our resident vampire?" I call from the kitchen, where I'm getting tea ready.

"Left fifteen minutes ago, didn't even bother to help clean the flat," Simon says, throwing himself into a chair at the kitchen table. Agatha sits down across from him. "I had to do it myself. As usual."

I glance into the living room as I serve the tea. It looks the same as always, except for the fact that the various socks, shoes, and sweatshirts that usually litter the space have made their way into a pile in the open hall closet. "Yes, it looks like you did so much work, Simon. I mean, the place is spotless."

"I was distracted!"

"Uh huh," I say, taking a sip of tea. "I'm sure you were… So, Agatha." I turn to face her; she looks like she's seriously regretting her decision to come here. "What do you think?"

We end up having quite a nice chat, the three of us. Almost like old times. There was one point where the spell on Simon's wings and tail started to wear off, and Agatha lost it, jumping up from her seat and pointing, mouth gaping like a fish.

Simon looked confused, and I just said, "It's ok, Agatha. You knew about the wings and tail, remember?"

Comprehension dawned on Simon's face, and Agatha nodded, blushing, as she sat back down. "Sorry," she had said. "It's just a bit weird in person."

The spell had worn off fully now, so Simon's wings and tail were visible. Agatha had just started telling us about something stupid her flatmate had done when the front door opened.

Baz came into the kitchen, holding a white paper bag and a disposable coffee cup- undoubtedly one of those disgusting candy coffee drinks he likes. Neither Simon nor I can stand them.

"Oh, you didn't," Simon says, standing and staring at the white paper bag.

"I did," Baz says, tossing the bag onto the kitchen table. "They were out at the first three places I tried. I swear, there's some kind of scone shortage this week. And I did this against my better judgment, you should know. Hello, Wellbelove," Baz adds, glancing at Agatha. "Long time, no see."

"Hello, Basil," Agatha says. There's a decidedly sharp edge to both of their voices. "Not nearly long enough, I have to say."

"Can we all try to be civil?" I demand. Simon's already got a scone in his mouth, and he's looking at Baz like he hung the moon. Probably because in Simon's eyes, he did. "Let's watch a movie or play a game or something."

We end up watching old episodes of Once Upon A Time on Netflix. Agatha's never seen it, Baz and I think it might have some magickal worth, and Simon doesn't care what we watch, so I put on season oneand we make it through three episodes without arguing.

"I don't know," Agatha says. "Does this get better later on?"

"Yeah," I say. "It's probably going to get worse soon, though. Season seven looks like a complete disaster."

Agatha rolls her eyes and returns her attention to the television. She's sitting in the armchair closest to the screen, Simon and Baz are on the sofa, and I'm in the other chair. Simon has his head on Baz's shoulder again, and Baz's arm has snaked around Simon's back. If Agatha turns around, she's going to see them. I don't think they care.

It's half past ten when Agatha starts yawning. Simon's already asleep, curled into Baz's side like an oversized kitten. Agatha hasn't commented on that- or she hasn't noticed.

"I'm beat," she admits. "Do you want me to sleep on the sofa?"

"Fuck no," I say, getting to my feet, "You're a guest. First door on the left." I point her down the hallway, and grab the blanket and pillow I'd stashed in the hall closet earlier. Baz had already picked Simon up- vampire strength- and carried him down the hall to his (their) room. I really should charge rent.

I collapse on the sofa, fully intending to get a solid nine hours of sleep.

o-o-o-o-o

Agatha

I drag myself out of bed at some point after ten, roused by the strong smell of bacon.

Simon's in the kitchen, cooking. I hadn't known Simon could cook.

Baz is rummaging around in the fridge, looking for something, and Penny's sitting at the table, nursing a mug of tea and reading the paper.

"Morning," she says, seeing me standing in the doorway. Simon grins at me from his place by the stove, where he's making pancakes. Baz emerges from the fridge with a plastic container and sticks it in the microwave.

"Good morning," I say, a little cautiously. Watching the three of them… They're all so comfortable around each other. Even Baz. I'm not sure where I fit in anymore. I help myself to one of the leftover scones, sitting across from Penny.

"Wellbelove, there's a plastic cup with a lid and straw on the shelf behind you," Baz says. "Pass it over, would you?" I do as he asks, and he transfers the contents of the container from the microwave.

"Is that blood?" I demand, slightly grossed out.

"Yes, Wellbelove. I'm a vampire," Baz says, frowning at me. "It really shouldn't be that much of a shock."

"Still. Please tell me it's not… you know… human?"

"Pig's. From the butchers. I'm not a monster."

I nod, looking away. Simon sets a plate of pancakes and bacon on the table and sits next to Baz. Penny rolls her eyes for some reason.

"So I thought we could go out today, just us two," she says to me. "Have a girl's day. See if we can't find a café that still has scones, since these will be gone by lunch."

"Alright," I say. Then I turn to Simon. "What are you going to do, then?"

"Oh, you know," he says. "Cook. Clean. Go out. Maybe get some work done. Who knows?" I swear he's blushing.

"Out? Like, on a date?" I raise an eyebrow, intrigued. I certainly didn't have any feelings for Simon, not like that, but I was undeniably curious. Was he seeing someone?"

"Maybe," Simon says evasively. I swear, Baz and Penny are both trying not to laugh.

"Come on," Penny says, standing and grabbing her coat from the back of her chair. "Let's go. Not much point hanging around with these two, unless you fancy being the third wheel." She gives Simon and Baz an affectionate look, then ushers me out of the flat.

o-o-o-o-o

Penelope

"When did those to get to be friends?" We're not even half a block from the flat, and she's already interrogating me. I taught her well.

"Hell if I know, it just kind of happened. Around the time the Mage died, I guess."

"But they hate each other!" Agatha protests, giving me an incredulous look. "Baz has tried to kill Simon at least three times-"

"Two of those were… I don't know. Not attempted murder. Just got out of hand," I say. "And he's really not that bad, you know. A little grumpy, sure, but you get used to it."

"Wait a minute," she says. "You two aren't… I mean… You and him…"

I realize what she's getting at and burst into a round of hysterical laughter. It was all I could do not to loose it earlier, when she asked if Simon was seeing anyone, and he and Baz had been holding hands under the table (they do that a lot).

"Nicks and Slick, no," I say, still chuckling a little. "Absolutely not. That would never happen. I'm with Micah, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Agatha says thoughtfully. "I forgot about that. And when I heard you were living with Simon, I thought maybe…"

"For magic's sake, Agatha. I'm not dating any of my best friends. Except Micah."

Agatha nods, but doesn't say anything else for a few minutes. It's nice- the walk, and admittedly the silence, considering the awkward conversation we'd just had.

"Something's different between them," she says at last. "Simon and Baz."

"Well, yeah," I say. "They're not fighting anymore- and when they do, it never lasts long."

Agatha shakes her head. "It's all so fucking weird."

"Welcome to the club. Can we stop here?" I steer Agatha into a small used bookshop, and she groans in exasperation.

o-o-o-o-o

Agatha

I actually end up enjoying myself, spending the day with Penny. We shop until we get hungry, eat in the first café we pass (they're out of scones) and then haul the bags of shopping back to the flat, where Penny insists on doing her weird routine at the door.

This time, when she listens at the keyhole, she rolls her eyes and straightens up almost immediately.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake," she mutters, dropping a few bags and hammering on the door. "Oi! Open up!"

Silence. Then- "It's open!" The voice is definitely Simon's, but he sounds flustered. Almost embarrassed.

Penny scoops up the dropped shopping and shoves the door open with her shoulder, and I follow her into the living room.

Simon is sitting on the sofa, Baz next to him. Simon's blushing, while Baz looks the same way he always does- like a nuke could drop on the neighbor's house, and he wouldn't so much as blink. Cool, calm, and collected.

"So," I say, dropping into an armchair while Penny throws her coat into the closet. "What the fuck were you two doing in here?"

"Nothing," Simon says quickly. "Just hanging out."

"Just hanging out," I scoff. "You and Baz don't hang out, you try to kill each other. How has that not happened yet?"

Baz rolls his eyes. "We didn't just hang out," he says. "We scoured half of London for sour cherry scones. No luck."

"Seriously, there is not a single scone left in London," Simon complains. "But on the upside, I made lunch."

Sure enough, Simon had made a roast chicken and salad. I have to admit, I'm impressed, and I tell Simon as much. "Where did you learn to cook like this? It's amazing."

"Thanks, Agatha," Simon says, grinning. "I kind of needed a hobby, after, you know, everything, and I like food, so it just sort of worked out. Baz found me some classes, and the rest was trial and error."

Baz found cooking classes for Simon? What the hell?

"Wow," I say. "I guess I've missed a lot."

Penny rolls her eyes, Baz smirks, and Simon is blushing. I have no idea what's going on.

"You could say that," Penny finally says. "But really, we probably missed just as much with you. I mean, it's been a year and a half."

"I guess so," I admit. That's probably all it is. Eighteen months apart, and it's a little awkward now, especially with the addition of Baz to the group (I still want to know how that happened).

"So what do you want to do later?" I ask, just to break the silence.

"Did you want to see your parents at all this week, Agatha?" Simon asks. "Do they know you're in town?"

"No," I admit. "I probably should see them, but… I haven't done magic- I left my wand here- and I'd rather they didn't know that," I say. Neither Baz nor Simon looks surprised. Penny must have told them.

"They don't have to know," Penny points out. "I can drive you, if you wanted to go up for a night."

I consider this for a minute. It would be nice to see my parents and Helen. And all of my Normal friends that still live here- my parent's place is closer to them than Simon and Penny's flat is. "Alright," I decide. "I'll go. You're welcome to stay the night, Penny," I add. "I'm sure my parents would love to see you."

"Ok," Penny agrees cheerfully. "I'll be ready in an hour."

o-o-o-o-o

Simon

Penny waves goodbye and pulls the door shut behind her, leaving Baz and I alone in the flat.

"That," Baz says, "Was quite possibly the most awkward visit in history. What the fuck was Bunce thinking?"

"You do know she's coming back, right?" I ask, grinning at Baz. He rolls his eyes at the ceiling.

"Magic help us."

I smile indulgently, moving to stand behind Baz, where he's still sitting at the kitchen table. I wrap my arms around him from behind, resting my chin on the top of his head. "You're so dramatic."

"You love it."

"True," I admit. I pause briefly before saying, "We should just tell her."

"That's your call, Snow. I don't care what Wellbelove does or doesn't know."

"I know."

Baz and I hadn't really had time to discuss this. What to tell Agatha about us, if anything. This was already going to be weird enough, and it wasn't like Penny had given us much advance warning.

"I need scones," I mutter. "I can't think on an empty stomach."

Baz scoffs in disbelief, standing up and turning to face me. "You literally just ate lunch. It hasn't even been two hours."

"I don't care," I complain. "I can't believe there isn't a single sour cherry scone left in London."

"That's a bit of an exaggeration," Baz points out. "Just because there aren't any in the flat…"

"We could always go shopping," I suggest. "They have to have some somewhere."

"We could," Baz agrees, stepping closer to me. If one of us leans half an inch forward, we'll be kissing. "I can think of better ways to spend our time, though."

"Can you?" I ask, closing the remaining space between us.

We didn't end up leaving the flat for the rest of the afternoon.

o-o-o-o-o

Penelope

Mr. and Mrs. Wellbelove were thrilled to see us. Understandably, I guess- they hadn't seen Agatha in well over a year, and from what I understand, they talk about as frequently as the two of us did. Which is to say, they exchanged a couple of texts every few weeks, because that's all Agatha would respond to.

The two of us are sitting on her bed now, eating our way through a plate of chocolate chip cookies Helen made for us.

"So how is Micah?" Agatha asks. "I didn't ask earlier."

"He's good," I say. "I saw him for a few weeks at the end of term, and he's coming over for a week or two at the end of summer. Thank magic, because last time I went to America the boys almost burned the flat to the ground. And it was a pigsty in there, I swear, Baz is usually such a neat freak… Anyway. Yeah, he's good. Studying microbiology."

"Wow," Agatha says, but doesn't follow up with anything. I frown at her. She's been acting like this since we left the flat, not asking follow-up questions and trailing off into silence.

"What's up with you?" I ask. "Your parents don't know you haven't been using magic, and you're obviously doing well in California, so what's gotten into you?"

"I just…" Agatha's quiet for a moment, then she frowns. "I'm trying to understand, I guess. It's all so different."

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused.

"I haven't been here for the past year and a half, you know? I didn't see all of this go down. But… I don't know, just something about the… dynamic."

"Which bit?" I ask. "If you're talking about Simon and I, we went through something pretty huge. I know we've both changed because of it. I told you what the Mage did…"

"Yeah, I know," Agatha says. "None of us are the people we were at Watford. And that takes some getting used to, you know? All three of you… It's like looking at total strangers. Which I suspect is true, in Baz's case."

I look at her critically for a moment. "You don't still have feelings for him, do you? Or for Simon?" I add.

"Good Lord, no," Agatha laughs. "I haven't seen Simon as anything but a friend in a long time. It's part of the reason why I broke up with him. And Baz… I don't think I ever really did have feelings for him. I think it was just like you said- I was looking for something real, and different. And I found that, in California. That was what I needed. You know?"

I nod, because I think I do get it. I can't really relate- but I get it.

"Why, is he seeing someone, too?" Agatha asks.

I have to stifle a laugh. Honestly, Agatha can be so dense sometimes. "Yes."

"Anyone I know?"

"That's his business."

Agatha eyes me suspiciously. "Do you know who it is?"

"Of course I know, he's my friend, he practically lives in my flat," I scoff.

"Does Simon know?" Agatha asks.

I stare at her. "First of all, yes, second of all, why would you ask?"

It's Agatha's turn to laugh. "You'll think it's silly…"

"Oh, know I have to know." I lean forward, genuinely curious now. "Do tell."

"Well, it's just that, back in fifth year, before Simon and I started dating…" Agatha rolls her eyes. "It's completely stupid. But I thought the two of them… I don't know. Had something going on. Then Simon and I got together, and I kind of forgot about it. I only remembered now, when you said Baz was seeing someone."

For a moment, I'm speechless. Then I can't help myself- I bust into peels of hysterical laughter.

"See, you think it's ridiculous!" Agatha cries, pretending to be offended, but I can tell she's laughing, too. "I thought you would."

"Actually," I choke out, "I think… I think…" I collapse backwards onto the bed, still cackling like a hyena.

Agatha's giggling too, now, watching me. "I'm so confused!" she admits, grinning.

"I think you're probably the most observant person I've ever met," I say, gaining control over the fits of laughter.

"The most observant… but… wait, you're not saying… No way!" Agatha exclaims, seeing the look on my face. "No fucking way. They're actually together?"

I nod, and then we're both laughing.

I'm not sure how long we go on for, but when we eventually stop, my sides hurt and I'm out of breath. "How long?" Agatha asks. If the news that her ex-boyfriend is dating the guy she dumped him for bothers her, she's not showing it.

"Since that Christmas- with the Mage," I say. "And don't ask me how, I've never been able to get the full story. Just something about vampire bars and a forest fire."

"The fuck does that mean?"

"I have absolutely no idea."

Agatha looks up suddenly, comprehension flaring over her face. "That's why Simon went back. On Christmas Eve."

"Presumably so. Neither of them will talk about it much, I just know they were together by the time the Mage died- and Simon never cheated on you, I asked," I add quickly. "In case you were worried about that."

Agatha waves her hand dismissively. "I don't care- though it's nice to know, I guess."

"Right." It's quiet for a moment, and then Agatha cracks a smile again.

"So they're in love."

"Completely."

"And you trust Baz?"

"I mean… I don't trust him alone with Simon…"

Agatha laughs.

"Seriously, though," I say. "He's my friend. I trust him."

"Ok," Agatha says.

I blink, surprised. "Ok? You just… you're cool with all this?"

"Simon's love life is no longer my problem," Agatha points out. "I'm not happy Baz led me on like that for so long- I'm assuming it was Simon he was really looking at?"

I nod, but Agatha's still going.

"And if you say he's changed, I believe you. We'll never be BFFs, but… I mean, I can deal. It's not like I live in the area."

"Thank you, Agatha," I say. "I means a lot to me- and to them, I'm sure. You should talk to them, though," I add. "If only because the awkwardness is killing me."

"Oh, I definitely will," Agatha says, smiling mischievously.

o-o-o-o-o

Baz

It's well past lunchtime the next day when Bunce and Wellbelove walk into the flat.

Good thing too, because Snow and I spent the better part of the morning trying (and failing) to bake some decent sour cherry scones.

I mean, they're not terrible. They're just not amazing. It's the one thing Simon can't cook, which is a shame, because he goes through about five dozen scones a week.

Anyway, Simon and I are cuddling on the sofa, me with a book, him with his laptop. I'm not sure what he's doing.

I glance up from my book, over at his computer screen, and snort.

"Pinterest, Snow? Really?"

"I'm bored, and they have recipes. Leave me alone."

I set my book down on the end table, leaning forward slightly to read over Simon's shoulder. "Blueberry muffins? You could probably find a recipe for that on the side of a box."

"Sure," Simon says, "But baking with box mix isn't nearly as fun." He closes the lid of his laptop and leans forward to set it aside. Then he turns to face me.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing," Simon says. "You just look good today."

I roll my eyes, but I know I'm blushing. "I look like this every day, Snow."

"Exactly," Simon says. "I don't understand how you do it."

"Family secret."

"Fuck you."

I can think of several things I could say in response to that, but I settle for kissing him.

Of course, Bunce chooses that moment to walk in the door.

"Oh my God, you weren't kidding," Wellbelove says. I break away from Simon, turning to glare at the girls.

"Oh. Hi," Simon says, not moving away from me. "How was everything?"

"Great," Penny says. Agatha, meanwhile, doesn't look even remotely phased. I raise one eyebrow at Bunce.

"She guessed."

"Right," I say. Agatha just shakes her head.

"I suspected in fifth year. Penny told me I was more observant than I realized. Didn't take a genius to work it out."

Simon shrugs, leaning his head against my shoulder. "Well. At least we didn't have to tell you."

Agatha sits down in Bunce's usual armchair. "So it really was Simon?" she asks me. "The whole time?"

"Yeah," I say. "I never liked you that way. Or at all, really," I add (not to be cruel- it's true).

"Fair enough," she says. "I didn't much like you, either."

"You thought you were in love with him," Penny points out. Agatha sighs.

"But I wasn't, not really. Like I told you, it was an adolescent crush."

"Good, 'cause he's taken," Simon mutters. I smile, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

"God, you really are in love," Agatha says. "I'd love to know how that happened."

"No," I say. "It's embarrassing, and not relevant. For what it's worth, though, I am sorry that you got involved."

Agatha rolls her eyes. "I'm over it."

Bunce orders a pizza, and the four of us sit around the kitchen table to eat. I wonder if this is what it might have been like, if I'd been a little nicer to Simon back at Watford. Who knows how things would've been different.

Then Simon kisses my cheek on his way to the refrigerator for a glass of milk, and I decide that I'm not going to waste time on what-ifs. I'm rather fond of my life the way it is.