Let Me
A/N: Hey guys, much like my sugar-loving muse – I LIVE! I cannot even begin to explain the sheer shitstorm I have been dealing with but suffice it to say. I'm back and I'm ready to write. Just to be clear, I wrote this before the heartbreak that was Sam and Gabriel's actual reunion, I'll probably do a fic on that later. For now, ENJOY! R&R PLZ!
Sam watched his brother and Ketch disappear with a heavy heart, part of him didn't want Dean to go with that asshole but the other part of him understood why Dean had done it. He turned back to Gabriel and sighed, "Hate it when he's the logical one, it's unnatural."
When once he would have laughed, Gabriel just looked at him plaintively. There had been other times when they'd relished Dean being gone. Stolen moments hidden away, tucked in private corners around the continent and in their minds. His relationship with Gabriel was unexplainable but so real, so true. I'm your unhealthiest obsession, is what Gabe would say, but then again you're mine.
Sam sat back down and gently began to moisten the wires that had sown his angel's mouth. "I never thought I'd see you again," Sam murmured. "I went back. Without Dean. Shouldn't have done it but I did. I saw your body on the ground, wings burnt out. Took a bit but I managed to give you a funeral." Gabriel's eyes became glossy and Sam sniffed and coughed. "Anyway, Cas and Dean are together." Gabe's whole expression widened. "Yeah and you're an uncle – not to Cas and Dean," he tacked on. "Well actually kind of. I'm not sure you know but Lucifer had kid named Jack. Jack sort of had this baby duck moment in the womb and identifies Cas as his father and by extension Dean as Cas's hoath-obza." It was hard to decipher the look he was getting but he thought he saw a little mirth beneath layers of 'what the hell' and 'effin' Winchesters'.
Sam smiled, "I suppose Dean became your brother in-law after all…" He paused, the context of those comments coming back to him. Flippant remarks with an edge of truth, tangled in bed, in the back of the Impala, even in a couple of broom closets. Gabriel appeared a little morose himself and Sam picked up the tweezers. "I have to pull these out, tell me if the pain gets to be too much." Gabriel nodded and Sam delicately began to extract the strings. Gabriel whimpered some but otherwise held steady. Sam could only imagine the litany of smartass comments the old Gabriel would say but he got the impression the silence here had nothing to do with his mouth. The last pieces were out and Gabe parted his lips to draw in a small breath.
"Sam…"
"Right here Sugar," Sam thumbed his cheek. Gabriel leaned into his hand but he still looked so guarded. Sam's heart warred with warmth and sadness. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up." Gabe looked askance over his shoulder at the rift and Sam waved his other hand. "They've got twenty-four hours. Let me look after you." Without another word, Sam lifted Gabriel up and carried him to the bathroom. He set him down gently on the toilet and ran a bath. "Yes you can use my shampoo," he added to the archangel who remained quiet, just watching him. It was too much to hope that Gabriel would come out of this like nothing happened but all he needed was some small sign that his angel was in there somewhere.
Sam helped Gabriel stand and get out of his grimy clothes. He eased Gabe into the water and used a cloth to wash him off. He remained on the lookout for any wounds or infections but many of the scars were old. The freshest ones being around his neck and he didn't need to know what happened there. He took extra care to wash the dried blood and filth from Gabe's hair and face. "Much better," Sam pronounced when it was all gone. He got the Trickster out of the tub and towelled him off. He picked up the dirty gown the angel had been wearing and grimaced. "Wait here, I'll get you something clean to wear."
He wrapped Gabriel in the towel and jogged away for a moment to grab a t-shirt and sweatpants. Sam returned with an apologetic shrug, "It'll be big but it's better than that thing." The t-shirt practically swallowed Gabriel's torso and the pants were so long, he had to sit on the counter for Sam to roll them up. Sam grinned up at him, "I forgot how tiny you are." He got a gentle kick in return and Sam laughed. "I should have known a short crack would get you."
He stood and braced his hands on either side of Gabe, taking in every detail of his face. "I missed you Sugar." Gabriel tentatively leant forward and he braced their foreheads together. Sam gently lifted him again and took him to his bedroom. He managed to kick off his shoes and settled down on the bed, wrapping the blankets around Gabe while keeping him braced on his shoulder. "Rest. I'll get you something sweet in a bit, maybe pancakes, I saw a recipe for red velvet ones. How does ice cream sound? You still like praline?"
"Sam?" Gabe whispered.
"Hm?" Sam looked at him.
"Sam," tears welled in those golden eyes. "Sam." Gabe buried his head in his neck, soft sobs and 'Sam's bubbling out him.
"Hey, hey, shhhhh," Sam tried to soothe him. "It's okay. I'm here, I'm right here."
"It's you," Gabriel wept. "It's you. It's really you this time."
Sam stilled, dozens of implications hitting him all at once. Shock, fear, anger flooding him and he tightened his grip on the angel. "Gabriel look at me." Gabe raised his head, tears falling freely. "Asmodeus knows about us?"
Gabe nodded slowly, "I tried. I'm sorry."
"I'm not mad at you Sugar," Sam ran his fingers through Gabe's hair. "That just means I won't have to waste my breath before ripping the son of a bitch end to end."
"Sam no!" Gabe insisted. "He'll – he'll – "
"Pay."
"He'll hurt you," Gabe whimpered. "Not you. Please, not you."
Sam pulled him close again. "Maybe but I don't care. He hurt you and I won't let that go. Look at that, all these years," Sam murmured. "Still my unhealthiest obsession."
Gabe hiccupped a laugh, "You're still mine."
"But you're not going to be my secret," Sam said with surety. "Even if Asmodeus didn't know, I would have told Dean. I was thinking of how to broach the topic with him except he wanted to take off immediately. I didn't want to leave you but I couldn't let him go by himself."
"Ketch…"
"Ketch is a douchebag. Though he did save you so I'll play nice for now." Sam tilted Gabe's head up, "Stay. Let me look after you. Let me protect you. Let me stand by you. Just…let me."
Gabriel regarded him for a long moment, "Okay." Sam dipped his head and pressed the gentlest of kisses on his lips. Gabriel hummed contentedly and they curled tighter together. Their time had come.