This is my first fanfic…so please don't flame! Suggestions…spelling errors(which I hope will be 0!)…character pairings…and whatever else (except flames!) is welcomed!!! Oh! And I wasn't in this alone! I'd like to give credit to my friend-who will not be named..she is an alien!-for her crazy yet hilarious ideas!
Michiko is my friend's original character! I will try to update as much as possible!
X3
Suzumemeanssparrow
I do not own Naruto! But…I wish I did!
Chapter 1
Michiko Kurimoto searched around for the Akatsuki base, stumbling upon some tree roots…
MK POV
Uughhh….something smells like shit…no..that's not quite right…it smells like…can't quite place my finger on it…I KNOW! Smells like rotten fish! No! I hate fish! Ahhhh!!! What the fuck is..that….THING? Nooooo!!!! Please!!!! Have mercy!!!! I'll do anything! Don't come any closer or I will perish from the fucking stench!!! Who's there? I'm warning you!!!
Michiko's Inner Self
Do you think it could be a fish? I mean..it certainly smells like one!
Michiko
No! Fish don't flippin walk on land you dummy! Who are you anyway? Why are you…IN MY HEAD? I..must be going paranoid…DAMMIT! I knew I shouldn't have smoked that cigarette Asuma-sensei gave me! Damn you Asuma!!!
MIS
Who the hell do you think I am? I'm you! What did I ever do to deserve an idiot as you as an outer…outer…person-thing! By the way me…you're gonna die soon!!! It's coming closer…!! Bwahahah!
M
So cruel….! I will not die!!! I haven't fed Shichimencho(her beloved iguana) yet!! I love you my pet iguana!
MIS
Shichimencho likes sushi…Could just kill whatever's coming after you and feed it to him.
M
Why are you still here? I thought you were gone!! Gone to the land of the Inner Self of people! But you do make a point…I could just kill it and feed it to Munchies(nickname for iguana)…Yes! That is what I will do!
MIS
My jobs done…see you later baka…that is…if you're still alive…I better leave before the smell gets to me! Ja ne!
Regular POV
Kisame walked through the forest carrying his green stench along with him. He didn't bother carrying his huge-ass sword because anyone who comes within fifty-two feet from him will immediately perish from the god-forsaken smell…everyone except for the greatly paranoid. Itachi had forced him to take his patrol shift, so Kisame was genuinely bored.
Kisame POV
Ah…what shall I do now? Damn Itachi to hell…!
Kisame's Inner Self
You could take a bath!...You smelly-ass bum! You smell like shit! And have you noticed that there's this green mist-like substance surrounding your person? The grass, flowers, trees…everything is wilting thanks to you! I hate you!
K
I thought that Inner Self's were supposed to be nice….and I don't want to shower! I can't!
KIS
You disgust me! You sorry excuse for a marine life creature!!! I'm leaving! The smell's gonna get to me…and then I'm gonna kill you…which would be like committing suicide..since I am you..!!! Plus, why would you damn Itachi to hell when you love him?
K
Could you repeat that again? I didn't quite get it…Hello? Anyone there? I know you're there! Come out..come out wherever you are!!! I do NOT love Itachi!...Well….maybe just a little.
Reg. POV
Michiko performed a hand seal and turned into a tree. Unfortunately…she was in a panic so instead of transforming into a normal tree, she became a blue tree with purple leaves. She could smell her enemy coming closer, and was hoping for the element of surprise.
"Well," she muttered, "Now I'm safe…but…" Her stomach growled. She sighed. "Ugh…I'm HUNGRY!" Her stomach continued to ache and grumble as she willed herself to shut it up.
Meanwhile, Kisame was strolling through the peaceful, yet wilting forest, until his fishy fins tired. He decided to rest for a while, certain that there were no intruders near the Akatsuki base. He plopped down under a multi-colored tree and leaned his back against the trunk while stretching his legs outward. In his tired state, Kisame didn't notice the odd choice of pigment for the tree.
"Huhhh…" he sighed, exhausted.
Michiko cringed at the contact. The source of the smell she had been dreading was LEANING AGAINST HER!
M POV
Am…I…still alive? NOOO!!! He's touching me!!! Get off of me, rotten fish stick! No..more like moldy fish shit! I will not tolerate you! Wait for me Shichimencho! Sushi is coming!
Reg. POV
Kisame twitched uncontrollably. He was leaning against a movingtree, and he was extremely pissed off because he desperately trying to set a Guinness (did I spell that right?) World Record, and he strongly believed that he deserved some peace. He hadn't showered for eight weeks, and he hadn't changed his underwear for seven and a half weeks either. He also had on a moldy training bra, which formerly was Itachi's mother's bra. You see, Itachi had slaughtered his parents as well as his clan, but the guilt was slowly killing him inside, so he snuck back to the crime scene and snatched the only item left in the deserted house- an old training bra that had been his mother's from when she was a teenager. Itachi had worn it for four years, before he gave it to Kisame on Christmas Day in order to assist Kisame in his goal- to set a World Record. The guilt had left him, but it had left a scar on his face-the two lines by his eyes, that go down to his nose. Anyways, since the day Kisame had received the gift, he had put on the garment, leaving it on as well. As of now, Kisame had had on the garment for seven weeks.
Kisame turned around and stared at the odd tree. He poked it curiously and then was enveloped in a white cloud of smoke.
"Agh!" he cried out.
"Ahhhh!!!!" Michiko screamed. Kisame quickly bent her arms behind her and stuffed a dead fish into her mouth before she could react. The back half of the fish was sticking out of her mouth and she quickly whipped her head around, smacking Kisame in the face with her so-called gag. Kisame knocked her unconscious, and then flew away through the trees, Michiko's limp body over his shoulder.
What will happen to the kidnapped Michiko? Please Review!!! Then I'll update! offers pie I'll give you a pie if you review!!!!
Until next time!
Suzumemeanssparrow