Prompt – Being honest with someone that wasn't her parents brought her back down memory lane. Back down the road she never wanted to visit.
Notes – Please, I'm warning you now, it explicitly deals with the issues in Lights Out. If sexual abuse and molestation triggers you, DON'T READ. This has been a PSA.
It had been an hour after her date with Ryder. And all that Kitty wanted to do was crawl up into a ball and cry. She lay in her bed, not wanting to go to sleep, because she knew what would happen if she let her eyes close and her mind dream. She would have the nightmare that plagued her for so long. Tonight, when she had opened up to Ryder, all that she could think about was the dreams she would have if she had thought about the incident once more. The tears started and she was trying so hard to stay awake and not succumb to the nightmares that waited in her subconsciousness. Her bitchy exterior had unravelled by this point and she was left the vulnerable, insecure little girl who was hiding herself behinds walls. Her tears had turned to sobs, sobs that she was muffling in her pillow. She couldn't do this tonight. She just wanted to sleep without dreams.
Losing her struggle with herself, she drifted into her sleep, greeted by the bubbly eleven year old with the cute smile.
She stood the porch of her friend's house, her purple sleeping bag rolled under her arm. She stared up at the massive house, her eyes bright with excitement. Her mother quickly went over the rules like she usually does whenever Kitty goes somewhere, telling her to always be polite and grateful. She agreed, and promised her mother that she would.
The door swung open, and it was him, the boy that would hurt her. He invited her inside, and at that moment, she didn't notice how he winked at her or the look in his eyes. She was blissfully unaware of the little things.
But she noticed them now.
Her eyes flipped open as she gasped for the air around her, not knowing how to react to the dream she just had. What would have been fine for someone else was terrifying for her, just as terrifying as the rollercoaster was when she went to Six Flags with her church youth group when she was nine. When she was still innocent.
She wearily looked at the blinking letters on her alarm clock. 2:37. She sighed out of frustration and clamped her eyes shut, hoping to fall asleep without dreams.
Kitty rushed down the stairs and into the basement before all of the other girls did. Kneeling in front of her sleeping bag, she prayed like she did every night. As the other girls filed down into the room, the party games started and it just breezed past her like a blur.
The next moment she was tucked into her sleeping bag. All of the other girks were asleep, and she was almost to that point too. She stared ahead as the door opened and someone tiptoed into the basement. Kitty rolled over, thinking it was just Julie sneaking in after going to the bathroom. But as she heard her sleeping bag unzip, she knew that something didn't seem right. She rolled over, coming face to face with Julie's brother.
Kitty had opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out. "It's okay," he whispered. The next thing she remembers is the hand unbuttoning her princess pajama top. He rubbed her breasts for a while until he got bored of them, slipping down her bottoms. She was crying silent tears by this point, her soft blue eyes begging for him to stop. The look on his face was cruel, and she never forgot it. He rubbed her in places that she never hoped to be touched, and she just wished that it would end...
The blonde woke up with a scream, tears running down her face. Mrs Wilde ran into the room and held her daughter, soothing her with calm words as her daughter kept crying. She hadn't seen her daughter in such distress since... since she found out about her abuse. She just held her until she had fallen back asleep, and then Mrs Wilde returned to her bed, assuring her husband that everything was alright.
But things weren't. For Kitty started to dream again.
"Stop crying," the boy shouted at her as he stuck a finger inside of her. She had to stop herself from screaming, but the pain was unbearable. She started to beg in whispers, asking for him to stop and leave her alone. She just wanted it to end. She just wanted for someone, maybe Julie's father, and pull him off of her. She just wanted to sleep.
When she had finished, he unzipped the sleeping bag and got out, acting as if he hadn't hurt an eleven year old who didn't know better. He just walked out of the basement like it never happened.
And all that the girl could do was look up at the ceiling and think, "why me?"
She was crying again when she woke up, but the house was silent, so she knew that her mother was gone. She got out of bed and tried to get ready for school and continue her life like she had been doing for all these years.
She had to pretend like she wasn't getting bad again.
I am so sorry.