I do not own any of the characters from the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy!
Ever wonder about those wolves that tried to take Mandy to raise as their own? They're baack!
Huff n Puff
Mandy sighed as she shouldered her backpack. "Another boring day with a bunch of idiots!" She opened the front door, then stopped dead. Two wolves sat in front of the entry. Mandy blinked, then rubbed her eyes and stared at the two. The wolves also blinked and stared back at her. She glared at them.
"Alright, are you selling something? 'Cause if you are, I don't want it, and you're gonna make me late for school!" she said impatiently.
"Oh, boo hoo!" the smaller of the two began to cry.
"There! Are you satisfied?" said the larger one, "She could have been ours, but you wanted the runt, because you felt sorry for him! We should have eaten him as soon as we found out he was useless!"
"Wait. What's going on here? What're you two going on about?" Mandy asks.
"It's nothing. Sorry to have bothered you, miss!" says the large wolf.
They walk down the sidewalk as Billy and Grim come up. "Hey Mandy!" yells Billy, "How come Pud'n's parents were here?"
"Those were Pud'n's parents?" the blonde girl raised her eyebrows.
"Well, not his real parents, obviously." said Grim. "Dose were the wolves that you were almost adopted by. Felix and Tootie, I believe. Felix's family is rather well off, having made their fortune in real estate loans and foreclosures!"
"The proverbial 'wolves at the door', huh?" she smirked.
"Yes. Tootie and Felix were very progressive types for wolves and dey wanted to adopt a less fortunate, human child. Dey came to Endsville and offered to pay off someone's mortgage in exchange! Your parents were almost tempted, but decided to keep you. If dey had agreed, you'd have been brought up filthy rich, and maybe I would never have met you little brats!" Grim smiled.
"Tough luck, huh?" Mandy hissed.
"Why didn't they adopt me?"says Billy.
"Because dey wanted someone dey could house train easily!"
"Darn that loose bladder of mine!"
"What happened to Pud'n's real parents?" asks Mandy.
"They were real timid types, and when the wolves showed up at their door, they jumped down a rabbit hole and left Pud'n to fend for himself!"
"That was pretty cold! What were their names?"
"His mother was Alice, somethin'."
"And his dad?" Grim scratched his head.
"I don't know. He was a big ole white rabbit!"
"A. . .?"
"Don't ask."
"Hey! Just likes Irwin's mom and dad!" says Billy. Mandy slapped him head over heels.
"Don't even go there, Billy! So. . . why were those wolves here?"
"Maybe dey were looking to hire someone to evict people! Dat would be right up yer alley! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" Mandy kicks one of Grim's leg bones out, causing him to fall flat on his back.
"C'mon Billy, we're gonna be late for our bus!" Grim grumbles as he lies there.
"I hate dose brats! One of dese days! Pow! To da moon, Alice! 'Alice?' Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" he laughs. He rubs his chin, "What ever did happen to her anyway? Maybe if I find her, she'll take Pud'n back, and dose wolves would take Mandy away! It may be worth a try!"
Mandy and Billy board their bus, but notice an absence of the usual chaos. The other children, even the bus driver, sit cowering in their seats. Even Sperg, the school bully, whistles nervously in his chair.
"What's the matter with you?" Mandy asks. Sperg just points to the back of the bus, without looking behind. The two wolves sit on the back bench.
"Hello miss. . . Mandy, was it?" says Felix.
"What are you two doing here?" she asks as she and Billy remove their backpacks and sit down next to them.
"We're looking for our son. He seems to have run away from home and we were hoping to find him on the bus."
"Pud'n?"
"Is that what you call him?" says Felix, "I just call him Stu. . . oof!" Tootie smacks him.
"It's because of you he ran away!" she growls.
"I told you before, I didn't eat his rabbits! I'm allergic to them!" Felix replies calmly.
The other kids, their curiosity getting the better of them, are eavesdropping. Felix eyes them, and grins.
"I am, however, partial to children who misbehave!" The kids return to their cowering!
"So that's why everyone on the bus is so quiet!" says Mandy.
"He told them to keep quiet or he'd eat the noisiest ones." explained Tootie.
"You'd do that?" Mandy asked.
"It's nothing personal, sort of like throwing people out on the streets. It's become second nature!" he smiles.
"Oooo! Oooo! Eat me! Eat meee!" says Billy. Felix passes over Mandy and sniffs Billy.
"I don't mind a bit of carrion now and then, . . . but you smell funny!" he says.
Their bus lurches to a stop and everyone runs out, screaming.
"Well, this is the school, but now that you mention it, I haven't seen Pud'n in a couple of days. How 'bout you, Billy?" asks Mandy.
"Me neither, but I remembers the last time I saw him, he had this real crazy look on his face! You know how he gets sometimes!" Billy says, waving his arms excitedly.
"Like when he eats pie?"
"Nah! More like when he finds some cute, cuddly animal that he wants to love to death and they end up running for their lives 'cause if he catches them they'll end up in one of his cages and they'll be petted until their hairs falls off and they'll look like naked mole rats and then he'll try to glue pieces of cotton to their skin and. . . and. . . where was I?"
"Never mind!" Mandy groaned.
Principal Goodvibes comes stomping down the hall. "Billy! Mandy! You know the policy about bringing your pets to school!"
"Pets? Please, Mr. Goodvibes!" The principal is surprised as he turns to face Felix.
"You! You're the one who kicked me out of muh house and forced me to live in muh car!" he says.
"Yes! Have a care in what you say, or I'll repossess that toupee of yours!" Goodvibes turns tail back into his office and locks the door!
"That's some job you must have!" says Mandy.
"It's not for the faint of heart. You need to develop a thick skin. . . you interested?" Felix smiles.
"Let me think on it!" she smirks.
Grim finds his first clue while poking around Pud'n's rabbit pens. "Hmmm! Dere's only a few cages, but dere seems to be hundreds of tracks all over the place! Dat boy had a penchant for rabbits!" He follows the tracks, which lead to a large hole in the ground.
"So far, so good!" Grim jumps in. Wonder where dis will lead to? he thinks as he slides downward.
He pops out in the middle of some bizarre, fairy tale world. "Hmmm! I see a castle, a croquet field, a happy meadow full of jabberwocks, and bits and pieces of playing cards with their heads chopped off! Seems like my kind of place! Dis must be Wonderland! All I have to do is find dat white rabbit! Shouldn't be too hard to miss in dis wacky world!"
"Looking for someone, hmmm?" came a voice from above him. Grim looked up to see a disembodied pair of eyes and a set of grinning teeth staring at him from a tree branch.
"I'm looking for Alice and her rabbit friend!"
"Ah! The new Queen!" says the bodyless face.
"New Queen?"
"Yes! A few days ago, an army of rabbits, led by the Queen's children revolted against the old queen and kicked her out!"
"Dat explains all the bits and pieces of cardboard all over the place. Where's the old queen now?"
"Where do all the old queens end up? Fire Island!"
"Uh,. . . right!"
"Queen Alice is much friendlier than the old one. You can just go up to the castle and see her!" The eyes and grin slowly disappeared, leaving just a faint echo of a chuckle. Grim begins his trek to the castle, watching the bunnies cleaning up the pieces of playing cards.
"Pud'n!" he cries out as he spots a familiar form in the distance. The boy stops and turns to face Grim.
"I'm not Pud'n!" he says.
"But you look exactly like him!" said the perplexed Reaper.
"He's my long lost brother! I'm Pud'l! C'mon, I'll take you to him! He's with our mother, the Queen, in the throne room!"
"I didn't realize he had a brother!"
"There's twenty of us boys, and another twenty girls!" says Pud'l. As they enter the throne room, a number of knights in armor step up to challenge them.
"Please stand down brothers, this one is a friend of Pud'n's!" The knights step aside and raise their visors. They're all spitting images of Pud'n! A large white rabbit steps forward.
"I am the Queen's Consort and advisor! State your business!"
"I came here lookin' for Pud'n, and to find out whatever happened to his mother, Alice!"
"I am his mother and Queen!" said a matronly woman as she stepped out from behind a column. Beside her, clinging to her gown, was Pud'n.
"Grim!" he cried out.
"So you do know him, son! We welcome you then, good sir!" said Queen Alice, placing her hand on Pud'n's shoulder.
"Mother, this is Grim! He's friends with Billy and Mandy, my two friends I told you about!"
"What brings you here, Grim?"
"I've always wondered what ever became of you, and why you left Pud'n to be raised by a pair of wolves."
Alice sighs, "We didn't just abandon him. When those two wolves appeared at our door, my husband panicked and we grabbed our kids and escaped to Wonderland. When we got here and counted them, we found we were missing Pud'n! We thought maybe the wolves ate him. We were terribly sad for the loss, but that's why rabbits raise so many children!"
"I've always wondered about that . . ."
"Don't go there." said Alice. "We discovered he was still alive and sent some of our emissaries to negotiate with the wolves for his return, but they kept disappearing! Finally we had to send a commando unit of rabbits to rescue him. Pud'n had mistaken the intentions of the emissaries, captured them and put them in cages!" (A bunch of bald rabbits huddle in the corner)
"I suppose he'll be stayin' here with his real family from now."
"If he'll forgive us, I'd like him to stay! How about it, son?"
"Mommy!" Pud'n says as he gives her a big hug.
"Well, I guess that settles it! I'm satisfied!" He swings his scythe, opening a portal, and steps through.
Back in Endsville once more, Grim thinks about how he'll get the wolves to take Mandy. Maybe if dey don't adopt her, den maybe dey'll at least eat her! He laughs at the thought and crosses his fingers. As he returns to Billy's house, he is surprised to see Judge Roy Spleen and his Underworld Court holding a session in the yard.
"What's going on here?"
"Your little blonde friend evicted us from my courtroom. We had nowhere else to go, so we decided to come here!" the judge explained.
"Evicted you?"
"Well, she had the proper papers and all, and we did miss more than a few payments, so she had us dead to rights!" Grim sits down on the lawn, then begins to bawl!
"What's for dinner, sweetheart?" asks Felix.
"Steaks! Very rare, just the way you and Mandy like them!" A tear begins to form in Felix's eye.
"I feel like we're a real (sniff) family now!"
Meanwhile, at the center of the Earth, Nergal answers a knock on his door.
"Hello Nergal!" said Mandy, "I'm here about all those late payments we haven't been receiving!" A wicked little smile turns up the corners of her lips!
The End
A/N: I wrote this story thinking about how it would fit in a storyboard format, sort of like a comic strip. I visualize Felix as having a look kind of like Irwin as Sprinkles, the werewolf, except more wolf-like, and minus the glasses. He has the actions and personality of Mr. Peabody from the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show. Now that I think about it, Sprinkles, himself, looks kinda like Mr. Peabody, except bigger! I kinda pictured Mr. Herriman from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends as the White Rabbit. In the Grim Adventures universe, it is suggested that Pud'n was raised by wolves, and that he was allergic to pies.
Pop Culture Reference:
(#1)If you know nothing about Fire Island (New York), then that part probably went right over your head! Look it up!
(#2) "Pow! To the moon Alice" comes from the old tv sitcom, "The Honeymooners!"