Chris McClean was standing on the top level of the "Moats of Doom", awaiting the arrival of the contestants, one of which would win the All-Stars challenge as well as one...million...BIG ONES! There came the lovebirds, Mike and Zoey, as they climbed the ladder to the top of the mountain to complete the challenge. The final part of the challenge was to pull the sword out of a hard stone while dodging the meatball ammo flying from Chef's spaghetti bazooka.
Mike had just conquered his evil personality Mal, and ironically, his multiple personality disorder. Chester, Svetlana, Vito, and Manitoba had sacrificed themselves to allow Mike to defeat Mal, the evil force that endangered the lives of all the contestants. Mike was not completely sad about losing his personalities, however, because he was aware that he gained many of the traits of his personalities, from the superior acrobatic skills of Svetlana to the confidence of Vito and Manitoba. He also knew that they were somewhere in his subconscious, hidden somewhere. He knew that someday, they would be back. He was just glad that Mal was out of the picture for good. Zoey was also ecstatic that Mike was finally back to the way he was, fearing that she would lose her boyfriend forever. This built up both of their confidence levels as they were about to finish the final challenge of the season.
They finally arrived at the top of the Moats of Doom and were jumping and sprinting as they dodged the rotten meat from Chef's bazooka. A few seconds later, both of them had their hands on the sword, ready to pull it out. In the end, both Mike and Zoey pulled out the sword at the same time and loudly hollered, "YAY! WE WON!" as they high-fived each other.
Chris then came up to both of them and said, "Well, looks like it's a tie!"
Mike then said, "Does this mean we win the challenge?"
Chris calmly said, "Well, it's a tie...and according to the show's contract and the rules, in the case of a tie between the final 2 and because of the show's budget and timing, none of you win the money!"
"WHAT?!" Mike and Zoey yelled astonishingly along with Gwen, Heather, Alejandro, and Cameron, who were aiding Mike and Zoey with the challenge and were watching the scene.
Chris chuckled. Then he said, "That's right! And the winner of the million dollars is...THE DRAMA MACHINE!" The Drama Machine rolled over to Chris as he handed it the money.
Alejandro groaned, "Ahhh, if only I was in the Drama Machine for a longer time..."
Zoey angrily said, "But me and Mike worked hard for that money! We also had to work just as hard to defeat Mal! We deserved it!"
"True, true. But I can't stand watching another love-fest between you too and definitely not anymore Aleheather action", he said, glaring at Heather and Alejandro. All six of the contestants rolled their eyes.
All of a sudden, a loud bang was heard behind the Robot. Suddenly, a large part of its body fell apart and less than a second later, the entire Robot crashed to the ground and was destroyed. Standing right behind it...was EZEKIEL! He had a large bazooka in his hands. But this was not feral Zeke. This was Zeke... IN HIS HUMAN FORM! His skin was pale again, he found his blue hat, and his clothes were back to normal. He also wore a big pair of black sunglasses and he had that gold chain that had a glimmering "Z" for Zeke.
Alejandro muttered, "On second thought, I'm lucky I'm not in that robot suit."
Everyone's mouths were gaped open as Zeke destroyed the remains of the Robot and carried on to take the suitcase with him. Chris suddenly said, "Umm...Hi Zeke...it has been a few weeks since I last saw you. When I saw you, you were still a zombie. How did you get yourself back to normal in that soon a period of time?"
Zeke then said, "That ain't important right now, eh! What's important is that this game is all mine, eh! MINE!"
He ran off with the money, but then, he tripped over a rock and watched in horror as it fell into a large moat of toxic waste. All of a sudden, the case grew white "angel-like" wings and just flew away into the distance. The other contestants angrily shouted, "THANKS A LOT ZEKE!"
Zeke nervously giggled and said, "Well...sorry eh...There's always next season...Gotta run!" He then runs off down the moats, through the forest, and straight to the docks to presumably cause more trouble.
Heather complained, "Oh great! What a waste being on this hell of an island again! I'm sick of this crap...I work hard, get eliminated, only for the million dollars to be stolen and destroyed by 'FREAKEKIEL!'"
Alejandro then said, "Ah, mi amor! At least I saw you and we have each other."
"Ohhhh, you're so perfect when you say that, 'Fabulandro!'" said Heather as they made out passionately right in front of everyone.
Gwen made a gagging sound and Cameron whispered in her ear, "I know! Right?!" Even Chris was starting to get annoyed.
Mike told Zoey, "Hey Zoey. I'm really sorry about all the trouble Mal has been causing you and everyone else. I thought I defeated him forever after juvy. I don't know how he came back. And losing the million dollars and everything, it kind of hurts. And...I really missed you."
Zoey put her hand on his shoulder, smiled, and said, "Aww Mike. I really missed you too. And I know it wasn't your fault. But the most important thing is that Mal is gone forever and you're back in control. Plus, I don't care about the million. All I know is that I won something that's way better than a case of money...you. I'm so happy that you're back and I don't want to lose you ever again. I love you so much!"
"I love you too Zoey", Mike said as they looked at each other romantically for a few seconds before leaning in for a tender kiss.
Fumed, Chris furiously raged, "THAT IS IT! ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE LOVE AND THE HUGS AND THE KISSES! I'VE HAD IT! THIS SHOW IS CALLED TOTAL DRAMA, NOT TOTAL TITANIC! GAHHHHH!"
Suddenly, a loud rumbling shook the ground. Loud stomping could be heard as it brushed through the trees and grass. There was also a shout that echoed loudly throughout Camp Wawanakwa. It echoed, "CHRIS IS DEAD MAN!" It suddenly made its way up the Moats of Doom. It was...THE DAKOTAZOID!
With her large orange arm, she grabbed Chris and yelled, "CHRIS SHALL PAY!" as she shoved him into her mouth. Chef and the other contestants stared for a few moments but suddenly cheered loudly for Dakotazoid.
Chef proudly said, "It's about time! That damn Chris has been getting under my skin way too long! It's time he got what was coming to him!"
A few moments later, the contestants and Chef noticed that it was raining "people". Those people happened to be the contestants that were blown away in fart balloons by Owen who were thought to have been dead.
"SAM!" Dakotazoid shrieked. She caught Sam and happily moaned, "Dakota hug!"
Sam slowly opened his eyes, and wondered, "Dakota? Is it really you? *gasps* Yay! My mutant babe is back!" They then proceeded with their little "cuddle fest".
"YACHT PARTY!" There was another yell coming from the docks. It was Owen with the other contestants who could not compete in the All-Stars season. Geoff and Bridgette were driving the yacht that was going to take them somewhere, presumably home? Who knows? They won't have to deal with Chris's antics for a long time!
The All-Stars then proceeded down the Moats of Doom and ran over to the docks to join the other contestants.
On the yacht, Courtney was moping around and feeling lonesome, especially without Scott, her "boyfriend". Or was it girlfriend? She also missed her "best friend", Gwen. Courtney felt terrible about the events that occurred in the game a couple of weeks ago and hoped that they would forgive her for her wrong-doings. Just then, Courtney felt a light tap on the shoulder. She turned around and saw a gothy looking figure standing right behind her. It was Gwen!
Feeling guilty about what happened, Courtney said, "Look Gwen. I've really been a jerk to you and I'm sorry about the list. I would have liked making it to the finals with you and all this 'strategy talk' was really going over my head. I don't want to fight anymore. I wish we could be friends again."
Gwen suddenly pulled Courtney into a huge bear hug and said, "Oh Courtney! You don't know how long and hard I've been working to be friends with you again! And it's loo late to throw all of that away now! I think you're an amazing person with a very successful future ahead. I know that behind all that strategy and overachieving nature of yours that there is a big softie inside. I would love for us to become friends again!"
Courtney hugged Gwen tightly and said, "Okay Gwen! Let's just start over and have a strong, clean friendship."
Before they could talk, Gwen saw someone right behind Courtney and said, pointing at another person, "Hey Courtney. I think it's for you."
Gwen then walked to the other side to say "Hello" to her other friends.
"Gwen?" called a familiar voice. Gwen knew the familiar ring to that voice and walked over to see where it came from.
Courtney turned to see who that person was. It was a guy of medium height, with red hair, a slick smile, and a white tank top. It was her favorite country boy, Scott!
Scott then awkwardly muttered, "Umm...hey Courtney. You see...umm...I really missed you once you were eliminated. I missed your feistyness..."
"Scott?" Courtney said.
Scott continued, "...the squeal from your high-pitched voice..."
"Scott?" Courtney said again.
Scott continued, "...and your hair and your hotness and...err..."
Courtney suddenly pulled Scott in for a kiss.
Courtney then said, "Scott, I missed you too, and I'm sorry for making you a 'rat'. Let's start over and be boyfriend-girlfriend again."
"Have mercy!" thought Scott as he stared into her beautiful brown eyes. He was happy to get his girlfriend back.
Gwen walked over to where the voice was coming from. Suddenly, she saw a handsome looking teen. It was...Trent! He looked like the same old handsome Trent, except he was wearing a black leather jacket and got a new guitar.
"Trent!" said Gwen in a surprised tone as she ran over to Trent and wrapped her arms around his back for a long hug. Big tears rolled down her face as Trent held her in a passionate embrace. Trent then proceeded to gently wipe the tears away.
"Oh Trent...I missed you so much." Gwen said.
"I really missed you too." said Trent.
Gwen continued, "Well, I broke up with Duncan several weeks ago. What was up with that guy? Trying to act all tough and stupid? Trying to redeem himself as the bad boy that he is? Well, he got it all right...in "big-boy" jail. But for some reason, he's back! I don't know how he got out so fast! Maybe he escaped, like how he always escaped juvy!"
Trent laughed. "Haha, what an idiot!"
Gwen grinned and said, "Breaking up with Duncan also made me realize how much I missed you. I'm so sorry for stabbing you in the back a couple of years ago. Why don't we just catch up and start all over?"
Trent smiled and said, "All right! I'm excited. I know this is going to work out way better than it did in the past. In the meantime, I want to show you a little cover for one of my favorite songs. I thought of you everytime it played on the radio. I'm so happy to see you again, babe."
He then took out his brand new guitar that he got after Geoff used his old guitar as a pinata in one of their parties a couple of months ago. He began playing his acoustic cover of "Jessie's Girl" as he and Gwen gazed romantically into each other's eyes.
"Where can I find a woman like that?" thought Trent as he continued to gaze into Gwen's teal blue eyes.
Meanwhile, Duncan, who was shirtless and in his boxers, spray-painted both Scott and Courtney while they were talking. Courtney shrieked and yelled, "DUNCAN! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!"
Duncan then yelled, "YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST!" Both Courtney and Scott chased Duncan around the yacht as he continued to spray paint both of them.
"Finally! She isn't blanking me out! If I keep this up, maybe she'll want me back!" thought Duncan, grinning. Suddenly, he tripped and fell. Courtney then tackled him, grabbed his can of spray paint, and spray-painted 'loser' all over his back - IN PINK! She laughed a little. "Brings back memories of my very first season! Payback is sweet!" thought Courtney. Duncan had a dazed look on his face and thought, "Oh man, she digs me!"
Mike and Zoey were making out in the yacht's jacuzzi with Anne Maria glaring at both of them. "Aww man, if only my Vito was back!" she muttered to herself. Staci then came up to her and said, "My Great Great Great Aunt Elaine invented make-out sessions. Before her, the only way you could let someone know you love them was with a hand shake. And my Great Great Great Great Uncle Jerry invented comedy! Before him-"
Anne Maria then sprayed her with her hair spray can and said, "SHUT THE HELL UP! I don't wanna hear it!" She continued to glare at the two love birds and cover her ears as she was forced to listen to Staci's non-stop chatter about her family.
Nearby, Jo was scooping herself a large hunk of steak when all of a sudden, "SHA-BAM!" Lightning smacked her right across the head from behind so hard that she fell, broke her food dish, and her entire steak smashed into her face. Boiling red, Jo yelled, "Hey Bright-ning! You know what happens when you mess with me and my protein!" She suddenly grabbed Lightning and kicked him so hard in the groin that Lightning had no choice but to cringe and whimper "Sha-mama..." She then tackled him to the floor and they engaged in the roughest fight yet, even rougher than the fight Gwen and Heather had on Celebrity Manhunt. "You're a dead man, Lightning!" yelled Jo. "Sha-not!" replied Lightning.
Brick walked towards Jo and Lightning and said, "Hey cool! I love fighting! Good source of training for the military as well! Mind if I join?" Lightning and Jo grabbed onto both of Brick's ears and pulled him in. Mike and Zoey, who were nearby, laughed together as they watched the terrible threesome engage in extreme horseplay. "POW! Right in the kisser!" said Zoey, grinning as they watched Jo throw a solid powerhouse punch at Lightning. "This is even more entertaining to watch than ultimate kickboxing and extreme arm-wrestling combined!" agreed Mike as they watched Brick dislocate both of his arms. They both laughed very hard. Once the fight cooled down, Mike and Zoey continued with their conversation/make-out session.
"Yeah, my Great Great Great Uncle Joey invented horseplay! Oh, and hair spray! And motorcycles!" Staci told Anne Maria. Anne Maria sprayed her with hair spray and continued to spray her own hair while glaring at Mike and Zoey. "Hey, pouffe head!" yelled a voice from behind. Anne Maria turned around to see Jo, who was walking with a bruised Lightning and Brick. "You really need to lay off the hair spray! You use too much and you'll be losing hair one by one, every second!" Anne Maria, who was enraged, ran over to Jo, yelling, "DIE BLONDIE!" Jo and Anne Maria then engaged in yet another 'cat fight'.
Katie and Sadie, the sweet BFFL's, were busy admiring Justin. He had his shirt off, showing his 12-pack abs and striking some sexy poses. Katie and Sadie fainted at this sight. "OMG Katie, isn't Justin like so perfect?" asked Sadie. Katie replied, "OMG TOTALLY! Isn't it cool how we share the same thoughts?!" "Of course it is! Let's go hug Justin!" Katie and Sadie then tackled Justin to the floor and started cuddling with him. "Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Watch the hair!" yelled Justin as he shot back up, slicking his hair back. "I'm having a really good 'hair day'. Like literally. Please don't ruin the hair today! And especially not my abs!" Katie and Sadie shrugged and continued to stare at his gorgeous body with big smiles.
On the railings of the yacht, Lindsay and Beth were having a nice conversation and catching up about the show. "Oh my god, I can't believe I haven't been on the show for three whole years!" Beth said. "How has it been Lindsay?" Lindsay replied, "Oh nothing special. Except for the fact that I was booted out early from that one season with singing and that other season where I only lasted one day. Nothing really happened." Beth then grinned and said, "I'm so excited! As soon as I get home, Brady's taking me out on a romantic picnic by the bay! Then we're going to catch a movie and go shopping! Brady always makes my day". She stared at the water, dreamily. Lindsay then wondered, "I wonder where Tyler is..." As she said this, there came Tyler.
"Oh hey Noah! Have you seen Tyler?" Lindsay asked Tyler. Noah was reading "Pride and Prejudice" nearby. He looked up from his book and snickered at Lindsay. Tyler then said, "Lindsay! It's me, Tyler! Not Noah!" "Of course you're Noah, silly!" Lindsay replied. A frustrated Tyler then yelled out, "LINDSAY! FOR THE LAST TIME, IT'S ME! TYLER HERMES PADAPOULOS!"
"HERMES?!" Noah, Beth, and a couple of other surprised contestants exclaimed. "Your middle name is Hermes?!" asked Beth. "My dog's name is Zeus, but Hermes?! They might as well nick-name you 'Zorba the Geek'" chuckled Noah. Everyone who was standing nearby started laughing really hard. Tyler growled under his breath and firmly stated, "Listen everyone. I was named after a great Greek god. He was more than just the messenger of Gods and named after the planet Mercury. My parents said that ages ago, he saved all of Greece from destruction. He was strong, athletic, he could fly, and he had really hot feet!" Lindsay asked, "So, you're not Tyler?" Tyler slapped his forehead, slumped in a nearby chair, and sighed, "I give up..." "Oh when will I ever find Tyler?" Lindsay wondered. Tyler covered his face with both his hands and groaned loudly. Scott, who was standing nearby, said, "Well, at least it's not as weird as...BEVERLY!" He then pointed at B, who was standing nearby. B just rolled his eyes.
Meanwhile, Izzy and Owen were having a soda drinking contest to see who could drink a liter of pop the fastest and burp the loudest. Owen finished his soda the fastest and let out a big burp. All of a sudden, Izzy let out a HUGE burp, even louder than Owen and Geoff combined! She then got on a huge sugar rampage, eating everything sugary in sight. Her energy level increased higher and higher as she ate more sugar and ran and leaped around the yacht. "AWWW-EEEOHHH-EEEOHHH!" She began yelling like Tarzan as she swung around the yacht, annoying and disturbing everyone in sight! "THAT'S MY GIRL!" Owen said while letting out a fart.
At the back of the yacht, Dakotazoid was happily watching Sam play his new video game: Epic Bloodbaths 3. Luckily, the yacht was big enough to hold Dakotazoid, despite her abnormally large size. Sam was all curled up on her lap. "Wow! This game rocks! I already killed like 10 million people!" exclaimed Sam. "Hello?! Is there anyone out there? GET ME OUT OF HERE!" yelled Chris, who was inside Dakotazoid's stomach. "Shut up Chris! Me already have munchies and me watching Sam play!" Sam cheered her on, saying, "Yeah! You tell him, Dakota! That dumbass has been getting on my nerves since Revenge of the Island started!" She then continued to watch him play.
On the roof of the yacht, Cameron was just hanging out when he bumped into Cody. "Hey, you must be Cody, the guy who Sierra was drooling all over!" said Cameron. "Hey, you must be Cameron, the 'other' guy who Sierra was all over!" said Cody. They shook hands and introduced each other. "Well, we're away from her now!" said Cameron happily. Cody replied, "Thank god! I finally enjoy my free open pastures now!" They both laughed. Suddenly, a pair of tan arms came around and hugged the life out of the two boys. "O M G! YAY! MY CODYCAM PAIR IS COMPLETE! EEEEE! THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE!" yelled a high-pitched voice. "Oh...no..." Cameron and Cody both said together. "And together, we're..." Sierra said. "Oh please don't say it..." Cameron and Cody both thought. Sierra continued, "CAM-SIERRA-ODY!" The two boys both groaned and screamed in their minds as they suffered through the horrible punishment brought on by crazy Sierra.
Near the front of the yacht, Ezekiel was having a little conversation with Dawn. "So, you can read auras?" he asked. "I sure can!" said Dawn. "Speaking of which, let me read your aura and tell you what the future holds for you." She analyzed his palm and exclaimed, "Hmm...interesting...Wow! Fascinating! I'm very excited for you to see what the future holds for you!" Shocked, Ezekiel said, "Whoa! What's going to happen to me?" Dawn said, "In the future, you will compete in another season of Total Drama. You will not turn into the hideous monster that you were in the past. You will actually make it very far into the season." Grinning, Ezekiel said, "Wow! I'm really excited, eh! I knew that someday, I would be able to win a season! Watch out paparazzi peeps! The Zeke is in it to win it!" Ezekiel and Dawn then continued their conversation.
Harold and Leshawna were also jamming to a couple of rap tunes. Leshawna shook her front and back to the catchy music while Harold was well, doing the 'Harold'. He danced almost like a robot! "Wow, sugar baby! You really got them moves! So sexy and funky fresh!" complimented Leshawna. Harold's entire skin went red as he said, "Oh gosh...thanks Leshawna! But I think your lucious moves surpass my rad skills!" They both laughed.
Nearby, DJ was cuddling with his new bunny. "I'm so glad my curse is all over! No more harming animals for me!" All of a sudden, a seagull flew by and hit DJ right across the face. It then fell, dead at his feet. DJ began weeping and said, "But my curse is over! How can this happen again?! Oh mama, I wanna go home!" "What a drama queen" thought Eva as she was working out with her barbells nearby.
She then walked toward Heather and Alejandro, who were sitting with each other on a nearby chair. "You're so gorgeous, mi amor. You're as wise as your skin is translucent and your hair...you're the most gorgeous animal I've ever seen." Alejandro said. "No, you're gorgeous!" replied Heather. "Ah, my darling, you're gorgeous-er!" replied Alejandro. Eva rolled her eyes, stuck her tongue out, and said, "When did you two develop such a tight relationship? You guys make me sick to my stomach...Bleh" Alejandro and Heather ignored her and continued to compliment each other in a love-sick manner. "Are you Tyler?" Lindsay asked, walking up to Eva. "Take one step towards me and you're dead meat", replied Eva. A scared Lindsay slowly turned away, continuing to look for Tyler.
Geoff, who was driving and watching Heather and Alejandro from the front, turned to Bridgette, putting her arm around her and saying, "Well those two learned from the best, right!" He winked. Bridgette blushed and said, "Yup! They sure did!" "Bridge, after the planned beach party for all our buds, what do you say we have a party for two at my place?" Geoff asked. Bridgette gave him a quick peck on the cheek and said, "I would love to!" They smiled, drank their cups of lemonade, and relaxed as they drove the yacht to the exciting beach party to take place very soon. The contestants had so much to look forward to: not competing in the show and dealing with Chris's antics (at least for now, but they'll be back sooner or later ;) ;)).
EPILOGUE:
Chef was standing near the docks. He had watched the yacht with all the contestants leave Camp Wawanakwa behind. Suddenly, his cell phone rang. He picked it up and gasped. It was the lawyers! He listened for a few minutes before hanging up the phone. He began to run around the island, cheering. It turns out that since Chris has been eaten by Dakotazoid, he was going to be the new host for the upcoming season...WITH AN ALL-NEW CAST! "Finally, I don't have to be treated like chopped liver again!" cheered Chef. All of a sudden, the lawyers called back, saying that he was going to be the co-host along with someone else! Chef wondered who it was. It turns out that the new host along with him is...BLAINELEY!
A private jet landed on the island and out came a person. She was blond with ninety pounds of sassy and two hundred pounds of mascara and make-up. And no, she was not in a body cast anymore. Yup! Blaineley was back! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Chef at the top of his lungs. "That's right! I'm back! And it's time to show Total Drama what I'm made of!" Blaineley said proudly. "I was getting tired of hosting that amateurish Aftermath show with those two lovebirds, Geoff and Bridgette. Now it's time to host some REAL TV! And I'll do it with pride, because compared to me, Chris is a saint!" She then laughed in a sinister manner. Chef rolled his eyes. "This is going to be a long season..." he thought.
THE END :)
Thanks for reading my version of the conclusion of Total Drama All Stars! I hope you enjoyed it! If you did, favorite it and leave a review to let me know what you think! Hopefully it was more satisfying than the pile of pig droppings Fresh left for us to conclude this 'meh' season.