When Eren returns from the ocean he has two things with him: The first one is a piece of glass. It's an old piece, its colours pale and its surface smooth and dull. Levi holds it against the sunlight and watches how its rays get caught in it, make it glisten in an almost blueish tint that playfully pretends to be white or grey. He puts it onto his nightstand and watches how the daylight filters through it to form a small patch of brilliance on the dark wood that seems to dance with the movement of the curtains. Beautiful, he thinks.
The second one is a shell; a conch really. It is bigger than the piece of glass and has the size and shape of a loosely closed hand. Compared to the shimmering object its colours appear to be more complex and simple at the same time, going from a warm white to a yellowish-beige all the way up to a luscious brown while even darker spots are scattered over its plain and glossy curve. And opposed to the cheerful twinkle of the glass it emanates a calm longing for things that might be there…or not. Eren tells him to hold it against his ear and when Levi does, he can hear the whooshing sound of the rushing sea. The reverberation is still there when he puts the conch next to the glass; like a quiet promise.
Levi thanks Eren for both objects, almost the first words they've said since their "hello," and pulls him into a kiss. It's been months since the last one and their reunion is desperate and rough. Greedy and short. Filled with urgency and heat.
Afterwards Levi drapes the blanket over them, pulls Eren into his arms, inhales his scent and instantly drifts away into a long-missed rest.
When Levi wakes up a pang in his chest tells him this was only another one of his twilight fantasies.
Eren is not really back. He is gone. And he might find his dreams of endless waters and freedom, only to decide to stay with them. He has every right to. And who is Levi to deny him his dreams?
But then he sees the piece of glass in the moonlight. And the conch. Feels the warmth against his back. Hears the rustle of bed sheets before fingertips begin to run up and down his arm while a feathery kiss is pressed against his neck.
It was real after all.
It's not enough.
He scoops backwards and presses himself closer against Eren's chest. So close that there is no free space left between them; nothing but naked skin against naked skin. He lets Eren push a leg between his and presses even closer, as if he wanted to crawl into Eren, who smiles into his neck and nuzzles his nose in his hair to inhale deeply. The hand is still drawing lines on Levi's arm. Long, slender fingers that Levi can't resist to interweave with his own to press them against his lips, one after one, knuckles too, before holding the hand against his heart with a grateful squeeze. I missed you.
"Mm," hums against his neck, followed by another deep inhale and light kisses. They leave behind a tingling trail, causing goosebumps to rise on Levi's back and arms.
Eren is hard again, Levi can feel him twitching in his pants against his legs. But he needs more right now, feels starved after months without intimacy. Simply being body against body while the world means nothing.
Levi lets go of the grip on Eren's hand, only to intertwine their fingers again. To loosely examine each finger with his own, letting his fingertips run up and down the phalanges, the knuckles, palm, and lifelines, refreshing his memory of them, soaking up every new line. They are all still intact. Still as soft and tanned and warm as he remembers. Only now he has them back again. And as Levi studies them they do the same, turn his hand and run over his sinews and veins, over small scars and calluses and birthmarks, over his wrist and back up to his fingertips.
"I've missed your hands," Eren whispers and traces over his palm. "Have I ever told you that I love how your lifelines form an M?"
Only a couple of times.
Levi presses even closer into the embrace as he looks at their intertwined fingers. "Tell me about it."
"Mh?"
"About the ocean," he mumbles. He has seen its beauty and wonders in the sparkle of Eren's eyes, knows he wants to talk about it too.
"Well," Eren begins, "it's just like Armin's book said." His fingers still play with Levi's, squeeze and stroke them and tap on his palm. "There is so much water. It reaches all the way up to the horizon. And it's so loud too. Even when you close your ears with your hands you can still hear it. So powerful."
Eren's voice is clear and bright and Levi closes his eyes to let himself being carried away by the words against his ear as he tries to imagine it.
"And its colours constantly vary. There's blue and grey and white and…something dark. And everything on the beach is bleached. Armin says its from the weather, but mostly from all the salt. You can even taste it in the air."
"Is it really that salty?"
"Yeah." A laugh. "Hanji tried to drink it and nearly ralphed."
Levi smiles. How he has missed to smile this easily. "Sounds nice."
Eren chuckles against his back, a sound like light. "Mm. But not only the water is so much. There was so much sand everywhere too. You know, like on riverbanks, but only so much more? And not almost grey sand like we mostly have it here, but nearly brown."
"Like on the conch?" Levi opens his eyes and looks at the shell. It shimmers cooly under the moon that shines through the window, but he can recall how it looks like in daylight.
"Mm. That's one of the reasons why I brought it. Also it reminded me of your freckles."
He doesn't know what to answer with that lump in his throat, so he stays silent, looking down at their hands again. But he also wants Eren to continue. Needs to recharge with his voice. So eventually he asks "was it everything you hoped it to be?"
There's a movement in his back, a shrug of the shoulders. "Mostly, yeah."
"Do you want to go back?" He curses his voice for nearly breaking at that question.
Lips brush over his neck again and Eren lets go of his hand to wrap his arm tightly around Levi's chest. "Not without you, sweetheart."
It comes out so matter-of-factly, that Levi has to turn around to look at Eren. His eyes are earnest too as they meet Levi's gaze and he reaches out to smooth out Levi's worry lines on his brow.
"Do you know why I gave you that glass?" he asks. "I was standing there, my feet in the sand, looking at the waves. But all I could think about was you. Asking myself what you were doing right now and how you were. And then I saw that piece of glass washing up and it was so beautiful…it was like you were there with me. It was like looking into your eyes. I kept it in my chest pocket all the way back."
Levi wants Eren to shut up, needs to, because crying would be the most horrible thing to do right now. He tangles his fingers into Eren's hair, locks that have grown all the way to his shoulders without being cut for months, and he pulls Eren closer to nibble at his stubbled jaw, the corners of his mouth, his lips.
They open under his own and he accepts the invitation, slowly licking his way into Eren's mouth. Their tongues graze over each other in leisurely strokes and Levi thrives in Eren's scent, in his little sounds, his warmth.
He rolls over even more to rest over Eren, humming softly into their kiss when he feels gentle hands running up and down his spine, gliding over ribs and muscles, mapping his whole back down and up and down again, until they come to a rest on his waist.
His cock hardens in his pants but after this evening he isn't in a hurry anymore. Leaving Eren's lips he peppers kisses over his cheekbones, over his nose and eyes. Over his eyebrows, temples, and ears, until he reaches Eren's neck.
The greedy bruises from before have long vanished; it's a shame, really. He licks over the healed skin in a promise—later!—and runs his fingers through Eren's hair, coaxing a delighted sigh out of him.
"Levi."
"Mm." More!
He kisses alongside Eren's jaw, over the soft, yet stubbled skin under his chin, his Adam's apple, the other side of his neck, and Eren's fingers curl, tighten their grip on Levi's hip and now move lower, to daringly slip under the waistband of his trousers.
Levi chuckles against Eren's throat…it sounds untrained after all this time…and begins to let his teeth scrape over Eren's exposed neckline. He loosens one hand and lets his fingers dip into the curve of the collarbones. A patch of moonlight reflects there and he tries to catch it. His own skin has always looked pale against Eren's sun-kissed tone, but now the contrast is even stronger than ever before. He loves it.
"I love you," Eren says as if he could read his mind, and the words vibrate against Levi's lips and hand. He leans back a bit, even after all these years a little stunned that Eren really does. His eyes show it openly, fondly, and now they crinkle in an affectionate smile as Eren's thumbs begin to draw small lines on his hipbones.
He closes his eyes.
"I do," Eren makes his point and lifts his head to place a kiss on Levi's brow. "You are so gentle," another kiss, "and kind."
Levi shivers. "Eren." It's more a pleading gasp than anything else and Eren understands. He grabs Levi tighter again and rolls them back over.
Lying on his back once more Levi opens his eyes. They instantly meet blown wide pupils as Eren lowers himself on his knees and elbows. "I've got you, sweetheart. I'm back home. You can let go now."
He inhales sharply, fighting once more against the tears of relief that want to fill his eyes. Relief, because this truly isn't another desperate dream. This is real. Eren is back.
Eren seems to know Levi's thoughts, because his fingers begin to play with stray strands of Levi's hair. "I've missed you so much. You are so beautiful." There is no lie in Eren's gaze and it makes shivers run down Levi's spine.
A blush spreads over his pale cheeks, but Eren isn't done yet.
"You have so gorgeous collarbones too." He runs his knuckles over them and Levi cannot oppress a sigh. "I love how your jaw makes this line here and how your neck is so perfect for me to kiss." He does. "And your nose." Another kiss. "And your eyes." Two more.
"Eren…"
"Shh," Eren leans closer. "My turn now." He slowly explores Levi's mouth with his as his fingertips continue to brush over cheekbones and ears, up into Levi's hair and then down again in feather-light touches.
"I missed how you taste," Eren mumbles against Levi's lips. "And to be held by you."
Levi shivers and blindly reaches out. His palms come to a rest on Eren's warm back. He can feel the muscles flex and runs his fingers over them, scratching slightly with his nails.
"You are so lovely." Eren sinks down even further now to press their cocks together and Levi groans at the feeling. Eren only beams and the tenderness in his gaze makes Levi's heart pound in his chest, like one isn't nearly enough. "You like it like this, don't you?"
He gasps a breathless "yes."
Eren bites on his lip as he leans back and pulls slightly at his own waistband, revealing the tip of his cock that is already glistening and dark. "Would you like it even more without pants?"
"Yes."
"Mm. I love the way you look at me, like I am good for you."
Levi wants to tell Eren that he is. But even if he could find his voice right now, he is silenced by hands that pull down his trousers, then Eren's and Eren returning to his position back on his lap. "Yes, sweetheart, like this. But you are so good for me too."
Levi's hips buckle upwards at Eren's words, search for friction and a whimper leaves his lips as they find it and Eren grinds back. "I so much love it when you come undone like this. You are so perfect and don't you even dare to shake your head now, because you are."
Incoherent sentences begin to rush through Levi's head. Sentences he would never say out loud because they are too selfish and Eren is a free man. Still they fill him up and make him mute. Please don't leave me again. Please hold me. I've missed you so much. Please love me, even if it's only tonight. Tell me more.
"Oh, darling." Arms wrap around his shoulders and gently pull Levi up until they both sit, and then they pull him closer until their cocks press against each other again. Eren's hands run through his hair, pull his chin up into a kiss and then simply hold him close, stroke his back and spine and warm him while they rut against each other.
"Shit, Eren."
"It's alright, sweetheart. I'm here. Don't stop."
His head sinks against Eren's chest and he rests his forehead against his shoulder, his own lips finding delicious collarbones to kiss and nibble and suck at.
Don't stop talking, he wants to say. But Eren already continues as he presses them closer together, his one hand digging its fingers into Levi's arse, his other one around the both of them, his thumb dipping into Levi's slit.
"Yes, Levi, this feels so good. You feel so good, please, don't stop!"
He grunts against Eren's already steaming skin, his hips jerking, his cock gliding over Eren's, hot and hard and slippery, until Eren's words end in a low moan. He wishes this to never end, but he's nearly there, already feels the orgasm tightening his abdomen, curling his toes, tickling in his fingertips, and then he hears Eren's coarse whisper against his ear, brushing over his skin and inflaming his neck. "You first."
And he is gone.
He nearly doesn't feel Eren follow almost instantly with an uncontrolled jerk of his own hips, nearly doesn't hear Eren's cry, only feels how his cock is pumping and how the hand on his back holds him close.
Safe.
They stay like this for a while. Panting and holding each other as if one of them would vanish if they'd let go.
It's Eren who loosens the embrace first, his fingers caressing Levi's spine to tangle in his hair and massage his neck. "You alright, darling?"
Levi nods and breathes in Eren's scent as he hugs him once more. It makes him uncomfortably aware of the sticky mess between them and he grimaces. "Gross."
Eren laughs lazily and kisses his temple. "I'll fetch us a towel."
"I'll come with you," he mumbles against Eren's shoulder.
A few minutes later the bed sheets are changed and Eren has snuggled up to Levi's side, one leg over Levi's, an arm wrapped around his chest, his hair next to Levi's nose. It tickles a bit, but Levi doesn't mind.
The moon still shines though the window, painting the room in silvery light and letting the glass of the nightstand shimmer in a compelling glow. The conch lies next to it, the rushing of waves hidden in its core in an unspoken promise.
He has to ask. "You really meant it, didn't you?"
"Mh?" Eren's voice is drowsy.
"What you said about going back to the ocean."
A kiss on his chest. "Of course."
He swallows before he answers. "I'll talk to Hanji."
"Mm."
When Levi finally falls asleep that night, it's with the feeling of Eren in his arms and the sound of his breath. And for the first time in months he is content.