A/N: Hello everyone! This is a one-shot of Ganondorf's innermost thoughts and feelings whilst being imprisoned in the Evil Realm. It contains many references to my story Buried in the Desert Sands, so if you haven't read that yet, I'd recommend reading or at least skimming through it to help the references in this one-shot make a little bit more sense.
Anyway, BITDS has gotten so many reviews and favorites over time, I decided to give you fans a little treat to kind of "hold you over" in lack of a better phrase, as BITDS's sequel "Through Nalissa's Eyes" is going through a hiatus. I hope you guys enjoy this! Thank you so much for all your support and patience!
And by the way, as I was scrolling through some of my old stories (that were published to this site back in 2010), I used to signify a new scene with three asterisks, but it has come to my attention that has removed all asterisks from fan fics for a reason I don't know? So I apologize for any confusion between scenes in those stories. There are no scene transitions in this story as it is a one-shot, but for future reference, I now signal scene transitions with three X's (XXX).
Disclaimer: I do not own The Legend of Zelda or any characters or names affiliated with the games. However, I do own OC's that appear, namely Kali and Nalissa.
Nabooru.
Nabooru…
…Why must that name torment me so mercilessly?
Why must I lie awake each night in this Hell known as the void of the Evil Realm I've been confined to, thinking of her and only her?
You'd think my biggest regret would be the fact that I nearly accomplished everything I'd ever wanted for not only myself, but for my people as well, and then to have lost it all to a young orphan from the forest whom I'd taken for granted; never taking him seriously, figuring he was just an untrained boy who had a little infatuation with the princess.
How was I to know he would grow up to be the hero of Hyrule, favored by the goddess Farore, wielder of the Master Sword and keeper of the Triforce of Courage?
How was I to know that the young boy who'd never stepped foot out of the forest until then would ultimately lead to my downfall, and thus the downfall of our mighty people?
You'd think this is what I would lament upon each night, blinded by rage and thirsty for vengeance.
But no; despite all my anger for my failures, each night it's her face I see, her voice I hear, her bright copper eyes staring at me with the spite they held the last time we made contact as she helped her fellow sages seal me in this wretched imprisonment.
Nabooru.
I don't quite understand the feelings I've been harboring, and I'll never admit this to anyone, but I honestly believe that my biggest mistake was letting her go.
I know that it is a commonly accepted idea that an evil being is incapable of love… barren of all feelings except power and hatred. But no, there is someone out there for everyone – and I mean everyone – and Nabooru was my someone.
No matter how hard I try to push her out of my mind, she's the only one my thoughts linger back to.
I'll never forget the first time I laid eyes on her, when she clumsily piled off that table and straight into my arms as if it was fate that we were destined for each other. Towards the end of my reign, I would've become quite agitated with such a display…definitely not a suitable behavior for a fierce Gerudo warrior to exhibit. But ever since she interrupted that goddess-awful meeting and peered up at me with that beautiful smile, I knew I had to have her.
I admired her desire to become an Elite, and decided to offer to grant her wildest dreams by putting her on that mission. The way she bravely accepted without a second thought while none of my pathetic Elites would go made my desire for her grow. It was that night she returned successful and we officially became an item, I swore to myself she would forever be mine and I'd grant her anything she ever wanted.
I would keep her happy forever.
…Perhaps that is where the flaw in my plans originated. See, now I know that no one can ever be completely happy. There are some things you just cannot achieve. The things I wanted for my people, the things I wanted for her…they were far out of my power…and I knew this, which is perhaps the very reason I became so desperate to accomplish these goals.
Ever since I began meeting with Koume and Kotake – both of whom I'd basically adopted as my surrogate mothers seeing as my beloved mother passed on when I was just a child –, my priorities started to change. I somewhat let those two old bats corrupt me. They molded me into believing that the Hylians were evil and greedy and that the whole race should be taken down in order to let the Gerudos take over. It was as if they were leading a cult, and I was their religion's only pupil. They made me feel as if the only thing that mattered was pulling our people out of poverty, and that as king, I had no choice but to do anything to save our tribe.
Unfortunately, it was around this time that Nabooru became pregnant with Nalissa.
Nalissa…the perfect Gerudo daughter. Beautiful, smart, fierce…what more could I have possibly wanted in a daughter?
If only Nabooru had had her maybe two to three years prior to when she gave birth, maybe things would have been a bit different.
It was around this time Nalissa was born that the witches began training me harder. They made me believe that I needed to immediately start fathering more children if I wanted the Gerudo race to thrive.
I never wanted to be unfaithful to my beloved Nabooru, but those damned witches made me think lowly of myself; that I needed to save our race if I ever wanted to make anything of myself…or if I wanted my late mother to smile proudly upon me.
…Petty reason to break the heart of the only woman I ever cared for, I know, but it's hard for most to understand.
When you go each day thinking and hearing something, you start to quickly believe it.
That's what the witches were doing to me. They made me believe that the only way my biological mother would ever be proud of her son the king was if I managed to bring our race out of its oppression for good, possibly convincing the Sand Goddess to repeal her curse. And they made me believe that I had to do anything in the process to accomplish this.
I know I must have fathered at least three other daughters within the first year of Nalissa's life, but I never knew them or made an effort to get to know them. They didn't seem like my rightful children, just like their mothers weren't my rightful lovers.
Nalissa and Nabooru were the only important women in my life, and I let them both down.
I began being absent from their lives more and more. I couldn't bear to face either of them through the pain of my disloyalty. Nabooru began to call me out on it, and I became angry with her. I knew she was right, but I was upset about the ironic fact that I felt like the victim in all of this…a victim of the witches' manipulation.
To get back at her, I cheated with Kali – her most hated rival – and prolonged an affair with her. I knew deep down Nabooru didn't deserve to love someone like me anymore, so I devised a plan that would crush her heart so relentlessly she would never love me again.
It didn't hurt at the time because I was so caught up in my royal duties, but years later when I looked back I mentally kicked myself for it every night.
The witches soon convinced me to marry Kali since she was more supportive of my goals than Nabooru had been. They figured that she'd make for good moral support not only for me, but could benefit Nalissa as well.
When I spoke with the witches about how many Gerudos despised me at this point, they taught me all about brainwashing. Together, we brainwashed every single Gerudo who opposed me, even going as far as to make them infatuated with me so I'd have no problems reproducing.
See, past Gerudo kings would make it a law that by the time a Gerudo girl became fertile (in other words, the first time she menstruated), she would be dragged to the king's chambers to be of "service", and if she refused to comply, she would be brutally beaten and raped in hopes that she would conceive a child.
A sick tradition, I know…especially since half the time they didn't care what age the girl was when her body was finally able to reproduce, some even becoming pregnant as young as nine years of age.
Despite my evil beliefs, I would never have gone this far, so I always had a personal rule about the woman being at least fifteen years old (three years past the adult age according to Gerudo law) and that they were willing (well, I suppose brainwashing someone isn't exactly "willing", but still).
I'm not going to lie; it's not that I never enjoyed sex with any of the women…some, naturally, I enjoyed more than others. But none of them ever came close to what I felt whenever Nabooru and I made love. I'd had experience long before Nabooru (naturally, as I was eleven years older than her); I even complied with her wishes to wait and make love on the night of our wedding. And despite her lack of experience, it was the best I'd ever had, because for the first time, it wasn't just about the physical aspect of sex…it was about love.
There, I admit it.
I loved her. I still do. I just made the decision that my tribe was more important than she had been.
Big mistake.
If I had known back then what I know today – about her, about Nalissa, about the fate of our entire race – I would have gotten my priorities straightened out.
Perhaps we'd still be together…well, I've been imprisoned here for so long, plus I don't age here…so I don't even know how long it's been. She could be long dead by now.
The very thought that by the time I get out of here – if I ever get out of here – I may never have the opportunity to set things right with her (and Nalissa, of course) makes me absolutely livid.
Oh, if only I'd known back then what the future held…perhaps I would've been a better husband, a better father to little Nali…perhaps even a better king to my tribe.
If I had done things differently, perhaps even my people's oppression would have worn off.
But no, if it were the fate of the Gerudo tribe to die out (just like our goddess said), I wouldn't have treated my two favorite women so poorly. I wouldn't have bothered with all those other women…they meant nothing to me.
So this is what I lament about each night.
I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to, because every time I close my eyes, I see her face.
Nabooru…
If only I had the same power Link did…to reset time…
…Link.
That Hylian scum.
I will never forgive him for condemning me to this hellish existence, where no emotions can be felt but rage, pain, sorrow and guilt.
This is what the Evil Realm is.
If the goddesses do not favor you when you die, your spirit comes here and you stay here for an eternity alone, forced to relive the most painful memories of your life over and over, unable to escape it.
Obviously I'm not dead. I've just been temporarily sealed here.
I can feel the curse weakening day by day, little by little.
When it finally breaks, and I figure out how long it's been (I'm assuming it's been very long…there is really no concept of time in this goddess-forsaken hellhole), and if my calculations are correct in the assumption it's been approximately a century, I shall wreck havoc upon the land.
With the Triforce of Power in hand, I will take out my frustrations of my past regrets on the people of Hyrule, targeting the descendants of Link and Zelda.
If they truly have passed on, Nabooru and Nalissa's spirits have been sent to the Sacred Realm; there is no doubt in my mind about this. With spirits so pure and loving, there is no way the goddesses don't favor them.
As for my spirit?
I've already chosen a path of evil. It is my destiny.
If I could change the past and end up in the Sacred Realm with my girls, of course I would take the opportunity to do that.
But I'm already too far gone.
I've committed too much sin and have ruined too many people's lives to be forgiven; I've even brought down an entire race…my soul is by far too blackened to be salvaged.
…I will never see Nabooru and Nalissa again.
So I can't wait to get out of here.
When I do, the feared Ganondorf Dragmire that I once was will be back, and will be more powerful than ever.
When I return, I will be successful in my endeavors this time.
And as promised, I will make Hyrule pay.
A/N: I actually got the idea for this because I have a friend that believes in lingering spirits on Earth. Now I'm not trying to be responsible for a religious debate or anything here in the reviews, keep in mind this is just imagination; just fanfiction! But anyway, growing up, I was always taught that Hell (if you believe in it) is a physical place your spirit goes after you die if you were "evil" or "not a good person". They said that you'd feel physical pain for eternity. Well, this friend I have claims to see ghosts. I'm not ENTIRELY sure I believe in that personally (plus it just kinda freaks me out, LOL), but he brought up an interesting point. He believes that Hell isn't a physical place you go, it's in your mind, and for the rest of eternity you are ridden with guilt and that is your eternal punishment. Which made sense to me because when you die, I'm not sure how you could feel physical pain, plus they say emotional pain is the worst kind of pain there is.
Anyway, I'm not trying to get in any religious debates, obviously the Sacred Realm and the Evil Realm belong to Nintendo and are made up for entertianment purposes, but for the sake of this story, I basically implied the Sacred Realm to be "Heaven" and the Evil Realm to be "Hell". And I took my friend's beliefs in that if you were to go to Hell, you'd have emotional pain.
Obviously Ganondorf isn't dead, and imagine being alone for a whole century to just sit there and think about your past mistakes. Yes, Ganondorf deserved that for his wrongdoings, however, people see Ganon as simply put: a villain. Nothing more. I tried to give him a personality, show that he DOES have feelings deep down (it makes him seem more like a realistic person that way), but then towards the end gravitates towards him ultimately choosing to be evil once again (because otherwise we wouldn't have a storyline...AKA Twilight Princess!). I figured once Ganon escaped from the Evil Realm, some people might take a century's worth of imprisonment as a clue to be a better person and learn their lesson, so to come out vengeful and eviler than ever, I figured Ganon needed a deeper incentive to want to continue down that evil path. He wishes he could undo time and make things right, but he can't and he believes deep down he can never change and that it is his destiny to be evil.
Anyway, this is just a little treat for my readers. I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope I succeeded in making you like Ganon a LITTLE more than you did at the end of BITDS, but at the same time, kept it realistic enough to show that he still is EVIL at the end of the day. Thanks for reading, guys!
~Green Eyed Gerudo