Redone and rewritten, with more splee than the average reader can handle. I thought it over and decided that this would really help.
"I'm bored!" Obonxious and greedy to a fault, this was a voice deemed best for Bourgeoisie. Unfortunately the cat was of mild manner and notoriously short tempter too well to be granted an occupation. His taller, though more simple-minded brother lay slumped on the floor muttering sadly, "Don't make it worse."
Gordon sat in a chair opposite Mr. Blik's couch groaning. All he said was, "Well he has a point, Mr. Blik."
"Oh, shut up, you two!" Mr. Blik yelled angrily at his brothers but sank back into an even deeper slump, almost falling asleep.
"I sure wish something cool would happen," Waffle moaned.
Gordon appealed to his lesser brother's desire, but it couldn't be helped. Today had been dull from the start. The true agony came when it started to rain, ending Mr. Blik's opportunity for his cookout. They sent out invitations, but nobody had decided to come. They had been planning for weeks. Alas, some of the fun had been stolen away due to minor, annoying inconvenience. He sighed. And he had been so looking forward to Mr. Blik's 'Famous' ribs!
Blik's motive for a cookout was a little different. He'd never honestly told anybody, but deep down, and really deep down, was the tiny glimmer that wrapped around it, was a longing for the beauteous graces of a certain flamboyant young maiden feline, with locks as delicious as chocolate with caramel, and a name not even Dulcinea could match. Blik longed to express such words passionately and deeply, but his throat ran dry, his thoughts constantly and nervously shifted to random images, and whole psyche shattered into a million little pieces in Katilda's wake.
9 months had passed since the 2 met, and aside from the fact that it was under such mundane, and bizarre circumstances, Blik could barely forge that overhauled, overturned and bent mental shield to keep her clear blue eyes out of his mind. Just 5 seconds of that… and his icy cold heart creaked, melted, and skipped beats around her.
Waffle only wanted to have some fun, but such plans were ruined thanks to the storm. He adored Karaoke as much as anything else in the world, (Well, there are his newts) but inconvenience made good with its' literal connotation of "Raining on your Parade". He felt awful.
"If it doesn't make things worse, The Chumpy Chumps could've crashed the party and ruined it," Gordon commented. It was only a simple thought that had been tugging at the back of his mind for not very long.
"Yeah," Mr. Blik agreed in the same aggravated voice. But his own mental crisis looped constantly around Katilda. He could've cared less.
Waffle snapped to attention and asked Gordon, "Huh. Hey, that's weird. I don't think that… uh. Hmm…"
"Come to think of it," Gordon began again, "I don't think they've been seen around here too much lately."
Blik just glared daggers at Gordon, unable to see the big deal. Gordon, however suddenly went through a critical brainstorm; it was Saturday, and by some undesignated divine neighborhood tradition, their archenemies usually would drop on over and… but here Gordon shuddered. Sure they have had their few scuffles in the past, pointless and, ruefully humorous to a fault; the Chumpy Chumps usually never missed an opportunity.
"The reason they haven't been seen as of late is because they have moved out recently."
The gentleman, who entered into their sanctity of boredom stood straight tall, wore a black suit with black pants and a white undershirt with black tie. He had on black shiny shoes and his voice wasn't as thickly accented though his speech was by no means impeded, though thoroughly British. As always he wore his signature frown on his face staring down sternly and listlessly at his masters.
Blik frosty cold stare didn't falter for even a second. "Shouldn't you be cleaning something, Hovis?"
Hardly taken aback by the frosty comment, he said, "I was. It's finished."
Naturally, this tempered unnecessary and often over-the-top rage, and most likely Blik whose eyes were searing, more destructive than your common everyday wildfire, as Gordon and Waffle knew all too well. Nobody ever took an easily ill-tempered Mr. Blik seriously. They were greatly surprised that Mr. Blik didn't try to get in the last word edgewise to clarify sovereignty. Blik gestured him away with an uninterested, "Yeah, yeah…"
"Well I thought that at the least it'd be of some important interest to you."
Blik narrowed his eyes like he was sleepy and scoffed. "Interest!? Like I care! As far as I'm concerned, I'm glad they're gone!"
"Me too," Waffle said.
Gordon didn't say anything. Blik and Waffle looked at his brother as if they had expected him to say something.
The fat cat turned stone-faced and became eerily quiet.
"Gordon you fat-head! What's with looking like that?"
"Maybe we should watch T.V.," Gordon said, but something was wrong. His voice was far beyond frosty and the dead monotone than his brothers ever heard. They couldn't help but be appalled. Even Hovis was a little shocked by the tone in his voice.
Gordon reached for the controller and pressed the button as the phone suddenly began to ring and Waffle said, "This is completely random, and I mean COMPLETELY random, but if the Chump-y Chump Brothers are gone, we wouldn't have any enemies for neighbors. I mean, no more prank calls… no more, well, pranking those guys that bother us because we're just 3 RICH cats who live in a rich house while they live in a ramshackle home filled with nothing but junk…"
"Do you… have ANY idea what you are talking about?" snapped Blik, still full of unnecessary rage.
To this Waffle dumbly answered, "Um, no. Who's on the phone?"
Blik still in his foul for absolutely no reason whatsoever ordered, "Hovis! Get the phone!"
The old butler did as instructed without one rebuttal, despite the fact that Mr. Blik was only 2 inches away from the phone. Hovis picked up the phone spoke into the speaker, "Hello. May I ask who is calling?"
He harkened for an answer, but none came. Assuming that complete and utter waste of time was nothing more than a childish prank, the phone was laid back on the receiver.
Gordon continued to watch T.V. ignoring the confused look on Mr. Blik's face. Waffle became interested and drawn towards the T.V., mystified. On the screen was the news and the news had anchorman Larry N. Glow was reading from a slip of paper inconspicuously handed to him off screen.
"…And I have just received this report that an… International 'Game' is being discussed by Congress, a game called 'Hide and Seek'. The game details follows that the first to know the name of one 'hiding' will be the one to die. It is being debated whether this has credible evidence behind it, although authorities have strong doubts about something completely absurd."
" 'Absurd' is right," Hovis commented, and there was no doubt of it.
All this accomplished was making Mr. Blik scowl and prematurely blow a raspberry. How typical, he thought with a sneer; they'll put anything on T.V. nowadays.
Unlike the other 2, Waffle's face lit like a candle, the flame growing even brighter melting away the waxy stillness. "Spleeeeeeeeeeeeeee…" he droned out excitedly. Now he was hooked on it. "Sounds fun."
"Like your Newts," Mr. Blik countered him spitefully. "This News is a load of Baloney!!!"
On the T.V., Glow continued with his report. The phone began to ring again, but this time, and it was strange, but it almost sounded so much louder.
"Hovis, Get the Phone!"
He did so, now aggravated with these meddlesome troublemakers. He had a good mind to report them to the authorities. But nonetheless the 43-year-old maintained his usual dry manner and spoke in the speaker, "Yes? Hello? Who is this?"
No answer.
Blik demanded, "Well? WHO was it?"
The butler shook his head.
On the T.V., the anchorman said, "More details behind this game are that anyone can play, you can use whatever resources are available to win the game, and you can't call on any help from authorities such as police or local government institutions. Finally the one who survives the longest may be the one to win. Ironically police are making headway into investigating these matters with every resource they have at their course. Local authorities report that the delinquent or criminal should be arrested in a matter of days and channel five will be there to report the identity of the criminal- GGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
What had happened next was horrific. Before an International audience that accounted for up to the 5 million living in America, Larry N. Glow collapsed and foamed at the mouth; screaming in agony, he shuddered, his eyes turning inside out in the most vulgar way possible. The color drained from his face and his teeth grit so tightly his expression was as stone-faced as a totem pole. He fell face forward and didn't move.
Of course, anybody would have refuted this odd occurrence as a pathetic excuse for a prank on the part of the Media; that was the supposed case until the 3 cats and butler saw on the T.V. screen several high-security guards come along and drag away the body of Glow like a corpse. Then the screen froze for a minute with the all-caps plain text font running across the screen reading, 'WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY'.
Mr. Blik, Gordon and Waffle continued to stare blankly at the screen until Mr. Blik choked out what they were all thinking. "W-What…?"
Gordon's demeanor and face grew less stern. "Something's wrong."
Waffle scratched his head and whimpered. "Is he… dead?"
Mr. Blik wanted to refute his brothers' remark, but his own initial doubts were crushed under the heavy weight of the unavoidable conclusion that he may have been right.
But right when Waffle said this, the T.V. screen suddenly flashed white and on the screen was 2 large letters "DT". This was more than enough to make Mr. Blik, Gordon and Waffle nearly jump out of their fur and scream.
"Hello." The voice came directly from the T.V. and from the phone neglected to put back on the receiver. They gasped, all of them. The more outspoken of them, Mr. Blik, he chose to answer back.
"What now!? Who are you?"
But it didn't even feel like the voice could hear them. The voice continued.
"I killed that man. On the news, you saw. He didn't like the idea of my game. But everyone's going to play. Or… I should play with you guys instead? It'll be lots of fun! Let me give you some assurance."
"What sort of bullocks trickery is this?" Hovis hissed, his voice sounding possibly for the first time, pale.
The voice sounded like that of a child's, intermixed with at least some special effects in order to disguise it. But what did it want?
"My name is 'DT'. And I am real. You see my furry friends; I'm inviting you to play my game. Why? Cause I'm bored, and you don't have any enemies since The Chumpy Chump Brothers moved."
At this the heads of the 3 cat brothers' began to circle madly; how the hell did he know about that?
"You've... got to be Kidding me," Mr. Blik choked out.
"I'll make this simple. I'll be your enemy. I live in California same as you do. So then, GUESS. Who am I? Well? WELL? I guess you can't. There are a million people in California. If you find me, you win. You don't, I'll find you all one by one, and kill you slowly, too. Hell, you DO find me, I'll tell EXACTLY how it is I kill. With that, have fun and good luck. You'll need it."
The T.V. turned off automatically. There wasn't a being in that room that didn't feel stunned.
"Is this a 'Splee' moment?" Waffle meekly replied.
"What exactly did he mean by saying he'd become our enemy?" Gordon asked, still a little shaken after having to watch that.
Blik who had done some serious thinking said something that wasn't directed at anyone but the T.V. he grinned and said, "This is perfect."
"What!?" both Waffle and Gordon cried in confusion.
Blik laughed and said at the T.V. box, "This is it! An enemy of our very own... so you think you can kill us, huh? In a battle of wits? Think it's THAT simple!? NO half-wit, pipe-sucking, brain-fried computer NERD is going to take us down without a fight!! Yes. Yes. That's Right. The Chumpy Chumps couldn't stop us, so what makes you think YOU can just waltz on in and mess with my brilliant mind!?"
Gordon was both awed and stupefied at Mr. Blik's rant. Waffle was still left in the dark. Hovis was indifferent either way.
Gordon said, "That's right! Go get 'em brother!"
"Yeah! Mr. Blik is BACK, baby!! So c'mon, 'DT'! We'll play your stupid game! Give me ya Best Shot!! I'll just hurl it back at you Quadruple-Fold!"
Hmm. So then the first whose identity is revealed will die. I wonder if these complete Imbeciles can honestly defeat an enemy who is clearly leagues above them, Hovis thought with fiendish doubt. He sighed but Mr. Blik hadn't heard him. He thought I might have to get involved.
Mr. Blik, selfish and defiant and obnoxious and with rising confidence in his ability to be better than everyone else screamed out into the heavens,
"HEAR ME OUT, 'DT'!!!! I AM…. JUSTICE!!!"
-To be continued
Happy New Years to all, with this Brand new series. I don't when I'll ever update, but this is just a concept that I've been thinking on for quite a while.
-AX
Now ask yourselves this question. WHO EXACTLY is 'DT'? There's an Obvious answer, but then there's the Too-obvious answer.
Tune in to the next fanfic to find out.