Lou sat in the hayloft of the barn looking out over the station, dark storm clouds on the horizon perfectly described her current mood and Lou smirked, of course it was going to storm. Why not, everything else had gone horribly wrong, why not add a thunderstorm to the mix.

She looked down to the crumbled letter in her hand, just more proof to the horrid day she had had. And the day had started so good. She had enjoyed a good breakfast with the boys, even got sneak an extra slice of bacon off of Cody's plate while he wasn't looking. It was always fun to steal food from Cody, seeing as he always did it to everybody else.

But then once she had left on her morning run, things had gone hill quick. First she had missed the pouch. She actually missed it! She hadn't done that since they first started training. She had to dismount and pick the pouch up. That had thrown her off her game. Then when she was still about an hour out from the next stationed, Lightning threw a shoe! She had to walk the horse into the next station, making her extremely late getting there, so she had missed the midday meal at the station.

So with an empty stomach save for a few strips of jerky she had in her pack, she headed back to Rock Creek with a freshly shod Lightning. She had wanted to get back to town in time to get ready to go to the dance. But with being hours behind scheduled that wasn't going to happen. Lou had been looking forward to it all month too. It had been so long since she had felt pretty, she had wanted to be a girl for one night. She had wanted someone to look at her like Kid used to look at her, back before they had broken up, back before Dorothea had returned to him. Back when Kid was hers, back when he wasn't married.

True it had been her idea to end things with the Kid because he had wanted to change her but she had still loved him. But when he married that southern sugary sweet piece of fluff, Lou was devastated. She didn't want to marry him. She wasn't sure she wanted to marry anyone but what if nobody else would ever want her? She was an unmarried woman living in a bunkhouse full of men that were of no relation to her...what man would want her? What man would want her once they found out about her past… once they found out about Wicks?

And there lays the next part of her horrible day … Wicks. Wicks was in town. Lou knew it was only a matter of time before he saw her, before he recognized her, before everybody found out what she was. How would she ever be able to show her face in town again? How would she ever be able to look into the faces of those boys she called her brothers? What would they think of her once they knew? Lou reached up and brushed the tears that had escaped away with a flick of her hand before looking back down at the crumpled letter she was holding.

She didn't even have to read the words again, they had been burned into her very soul already.

Dear Louise,

I regret to inform you that your brother and sister have been adopted. I know you planned on coming back for them when you had enough money, but my dear it has been years now since you left them behind. They are both getting older. I felt this was their last chance at having a normal family. I hope in time you will understand and forgive me. The adoptive parents are aware of you and have asked that you do not try to contact the children for a time, to give them a chance to settle in. Once the parents feel that they are settled they will contact you to arrange a chance to visit. God's blessing be upon you child.

Mother Agatha

Lou felt like her world had been ripped from her by those few lines. All that she had done, all she had been through, it had all been for her siblings. It had all been to give them a real home with her. Now it would never happen. They would never be a family again. Lou hung her head and cried as the heaven's opened up, the perfect end to her horrible day.

The station had grown quiet, the boys had long since left for the dance, with the storm that had blown in, they were not likely to return anytime soon. Lou was alone just like she would always be, or so she thought. With one last look at the piece of paper Lou balled it up and threw it out the open hayloft door and into the pouring rain...if only she could do that to the rest of her problems.

Turning on her heels she walked over to the ladder to climb down, only to catch the toe of her boot on a loose board. Lou tried to catch herself as she began to fall but she was too close to the edge. She shrieked as she tumbled right over the edge of the loft but she didn't land on the ground. Lou looked up and into the smiling eyes of Buck, a lopsided smirk on his face.

"Well now Lou, I've never had a woman head over heels into my arms before", he teased.

Lou narrowed her eyes at the young Kiowa before a small laugh escaped her lips, "Nice catch."

Buck sat her down onto her feet, "Are you alright Lou? You've been in here for hours."

"Yeah ...I … it's just been one of those days." Lou muttered looking away from Buck's searching eyes. She didn't want him to see how much pain she was in.

"You don't have to lie to me Lou." Buck stated, turning her face to look at him with the tips of his fingers under her chin. "You know you can tell me anything don't you?"

"It's just been a really bad day … I was late on my run. Lightning threw a shoe. I dropped the pouch. I missed lunch. I was too late to go to the dance. My siblings got adopted … and ….Wicks is in town." Lou rambled gesturing with her hands wildly.

"Whoa whoa slow down Lou...What do you mean your siblings were adopted? And who is Wicks?" Buck asked, put in his hands on her arms and guiding her to a seat on a bale of hay.

"I got a letter today, Mother Agatha let them be adopted and I'm not allowed to contact them. Not until their new parents contact me first." Lou said quietly tears dripping down her cheeks.

"Oh Lou...I'm so sorry. I know how hard you've worked towards getting them out. I wish there was something I could do to help." Buck stated, pulling her into a hug and placing a small kiss to the top of her head.

"Buck … if I tell you something… do you promise not to tell the others? Promise not to think less of me?" Lou questioned through her tears.

"I'd never think less of you Lou. Never." Buck swore holding her close to his heart that was beating rapidly. He had never held Lou like this before, never thought he would be able to. He felt like he might be taken advantage of her distraught state but even he couldn't pass up this one chance to hold her close.

"You asked me who Wicks was … Wicks is the owner of a brothel in St. Lois… were I once worked." Lou explained quietly, her face pressed into Buck's black vest. She felt him stiffen in shock at her words.

"You worked in a brothel?" Buck asked surprised, Lou just did not seem like the kinda girl who would make a living like that.

"Not doing what yer thinkin' Buck. I did the laundry. I was only fourteen at the time, just runaway from the orphanage. I thought my youth would protect me but … Wicks he … he thought it was time I started really earning my keep. He … he..."Lou began to sob.

"Oh Lou...my poor Louise. You don't have to say more." Buck soothed, holding her even tighter to him. His hands brushing over her hair and down her back. Buck swore to himself and vowed that he would find this man and make him pay for what he had done to Lou.

Buck didn't know how long they had sat there, Lou's face pressed into his chest, her tears soaking through his vest and shirt. It broke his heart to see her in such pain. He wished there was something he could do, something he could say to make things better for her.

"I'm sorry Buck...I didn't mean to bawl all over you." Lou said some time later as she pulled away from him and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands.

"Nothin' to apologize for...you can cry on me anytime ya want." Buck stated with a lopsided smile.

Lou didn't know if it was because of her overstrung emotions or what but when she looked at Buck, she felt her stomach do a flip. She swallowed around her suddenly very dry throat. She felt Buck's thumbs brushing away the lingering tears on her cheeks. Her teeth caught her lower lip in between them as he leaned forward and brushed a quick kiss across her forehead. She thought her heart was beating loud enough that the whole world could hear it as he stood up and took her hand.

"Come on Lou, let's get you inside and something to eat." Buck suggested as he pulled her to her feet and began leading her from the barn.

As Lou sat at the wooden table eating the leftovers Rachel had left out for her, Lou pondered Buck. She watched him from under her eyelashes as he sat on his bunk, cleaning his gun. Why hadn't he gone to the dance with the other boys? Why had he stayed behind? Why had he come into the barn earlier? Why had he kissed her on the head?

"Buck … can I ask ya something?" Lou called after awhile.

He lifted his eyes to her and smiled, "You can ask me anything Lou."

"Why aren't you at the dance?" Lou asked.

"You ain't there. I was worried about you." Buck answered honestly.

"You stayed because of me? Why?" She asked surprised.

"I was worried about you. Sides I only go for ...well cause … I go for you." Buck stated, his face heating in a blush.

Lou smiled over at him but the smile slipped from her face. "What's wrong Lou?" Buck asked noticing her sudden change in mood. Had he let on too much? Had he made her uncomfortable knowing that he was interested in her? Did she even realize he was interested in her?

"That's … that's really sweet, Buck. But I … You know what I am now." Lou whispered.

"What you are?" Buck asked confusion written all over his handsome face as he got up off his bunk and came to sit next to her on the bench taking her small hand in his causing her to look up at him.

The heartbreak written all over her face was almost too much for him to bear, "I'm damaged… used goods."

"That's horseshit Lou. What that bastard did to you ain't your fault… it don't change how I feel about you. It wouldn't change how any of us feel about you. The only thing I care about is you." Buck swore to her, brushing the back of his fingers along her cheek.

Lou couldn't help but lean into his hand. "Would you want me...even knowing about what Wicks did?"

Buck smiled capturing her chin between his thumb and finger, "I've wanted you for the moment I met you and yes I knew you were a girl. I will always want you… I love you Lou."

Lou smiled just as Buck's lips met hers in a soft kiss. She felt like her heart was going to burst from her chest as hard as it was pounding. The day had been terrible and there was still so much that she would have to deal with. Wicks being the most prominent problem at the moment… but right now, in this very moment. Things were looking up. Maybe the day wasn't so completely terrible after all.

A/N: Ah much better. Nice little Fluffy bunny.