A/N: I'm back with a new story... but I'm not posting the summary until chapter two. Going to keep the mystery for a bit longer.

Disclaimer: Needless to say I don't have anything to do with Eastenders, I don't own the show or characters and I make no profit from this. I do, however, really enjoy causing them pain :D

The Beloved

Chapter One

He had to admit it still hurt even though a year had gone by. He often thought about how that one night had destroyed everything. One argument too many had pushed them apart for the last time and they had decided it was best for all to call it a day. It surprised him how easy it had been to give up on everything he had given up his old life for and he wondered why he hadn't fought harder to keep them both together. But it had been too difficult, the occasional fights had escalated to every day; they had spent longer fighting than having normal conversations. They both knew it had to end, he just didn't know how easy it would be.

What had been more difficult, though, was letting go of all the feelings he had. It still hurt just as much as it had a year ago and that feeling was showing no sign of abating. It was a deep ache, penetrating him right to the very depths of his soul until he became used to having it there. It was a part of him now and he was learning to live with it. However hard it was.

Of course, there was no way he could have stayed after they had split so he left quietly, didn't say goodbye to anyone, not even his family. Not that they would have cared anyway. He'd burnt that bridge a long time ago.

He hadn't expected to see him again, the animosity had been too great but it was inevitable and he did six months after they had broken up. The world just wasn't that large. There was no grand reunion and in hindsight it felt rather anti-climatic, especially considering all they had gone through to be together in the first place. He had seen him in the street and he could feel his heart stop, even after all that time he still had the power to do that. He had wanted to go up to him and speak to him, ask him how he was, tell him that he missed him but he didn't even go up to him. He was with someone, another man. They were hugging and laughing. He looked genuinely happy to be with this new man and why shouldn't he? It was probably a happy and uncomplicated relationship. They probably met and fell in love without having to go through all the pain that no relationship should ever have to endure. He turned away when he saw them kiss, he wasn't that much of a masochist. He ran back to his flat, slamming the door shut before he broke down in tears. It was at that moment he realised that they were never going to be together again. He realised it was time to move on.

He had met David at work and they had slowly started a relationship, there was no way he was going to rush into another one so soon again. It was nice but it wasn't serious and both of them knew that. It wasn't meant to be an epic romance, the stuff of legends. It was ordinary, filled with nights out to the cinema and sitting on the sofa on a Sunday morning reading the paper. They fought and made up, sat together in comfortable silence and had sex deep into the night. He was under no pretence though. It wouldn't last.

The first thing he noticed when he picked up the post was the hand written letter, he didn't get one of those very often. He opened it and stared blankly at the photograph included, ignoring the letter. He hadn't been expecting this, not in a million years and it knocked him for six. He felt his heart lurch into his mouth. Why now? Why had he chosen now to get back into contact? Did he expect him to call, to go and see him? He couldn't take this, he felt sick. He wanted to read the letter but he didn't have the nerve. He didn't want to get his expectations up only to have them dashed by reading what he had to say.

He closed his eyes and tried to steady his breath. Once he managed to bring his feelings under controlled he opened them and steeled himself to read the letter but he was interrupted.

"What have you got there Syed?"